You Will Go To: The Balls

And lo! A few more balls.

Okay. It’s lunch-hour in the UK. I want to play The Balls, and need you chap’s help. Basically, it’s a scrum-game by Cryptic Sea – which is the genre title I’ve plucked out of my head for things like Transformice. Played on a server with up to 100 other balls (or 4 people on one machine), you play a tiny eponymous ball racing across real-world environments at a micro-scale. You either race, or smash stuff up or eliminate one another. In other words, Transformice meets Micromachines, with a sinister 50s horror theme. You can get it from here – it’s currently in a brand new 0.57 version – and there’s a server running in the US. There’s dedicated server software stuff if anyone wants to set up their own. Anyway – some video of the previous, not as fancy looking, version follows. Download and join me. I want to experience the sort of 100 balls of jiggling chaos I haven’t seen since the last Future Christmas party I went to.

Oh – worth looking at the site to learn the hang-on/explode sort of abilities too. And when you’re hanging on, you can move in any direction on your D-pad. Also the better you do, the other sorts of balls you unlock, who you select at the start and each have a special power to use.

Go balls!


  1. BallisticsFood says:

    Well, it was a ballsy move talking about such a pun/inuendo ready target.

  2. poop says:

    multiplayer gish-meets-that-game-with-the-mice?


  3. BaronWR says:

    Sounds fun. Sadly I don’t think I’m allowed to play with Keiron’s balls at work…

    Maybe later.

  4. mlaskus says:

    Oh, Cryptic Sea, they make a lot of fun stuff. If you like non conventional games explore their website for a while. They are the guys who are making Hitlers must die! ;)

  5. CMaster says:

    Missing OpenAL32.dll

    Makes me wonder if it will work with 64it OSes at al, can’t be bothered to inveitaged further for now.

  6. Cooper says:

    The download server seems to be under a fair bit of load. I wonder why.

    • Cooper says:

      1024×768 screen size.

      My netbook loses, yet again.

      It took everyone so long to get around to embracing 1024×768 as the base minimum, only for nifty little netbooks to develop and disrupt that reasoning- but I don’t see 1024×600 being a sensible size anytime soon…

    • Cooper says:

      Edit config.txt for custom resolutions (which only gets created after the first execution of the program)

    • M says:

      You’re like a one-man forum thread.

  7. bonjovi says:

    openal32.dll error here.

    tried downloading one form the nets, game rusn but flickers liek crazy. unplayable.

    my office Pc is definetly not made for gaming :/

  8. Morph says:

    playing, but no idea what’s going on

  9. LewieP says:

    Fun times.

    Manually setting it to 1920×1080 seems to break it for me, and the controls are a little loose, and the time limits we were playing with felt a little short for my liking, but I’ll keep an eye on this one.

  10. Jake says:

    Good fun, although I couldn’t save my coat of arms, or figure out how the winner was determined, or figure out how to grow massive. Or really what was going on.

  11. Sam says:

    Here is extra info about the game (including controls):
    link to

  12. dantokk says:

    Is “No Quarter” still being developed?

  13. airtekh says:

    I know the tone of the game is supposed to be sinister, but this game has got me almost on my knees in laughter.

    The first time I loaded it up, I was in hysterics as a bunch of bewildered newbies (myself included) slid to our doom in a pit while the more experienced players managed to cling onto bits of scenery.

    It was great fun smashing stuff on a later stage when, by myself, trying to knock over a jar, two other balls came along and helped me complete my task.

    It just fit in with the game so well; group of malevolent little balls conspiring to smash something. Pure chaos, but really good fun.

  14. aequidens says:

    Thanks, 1280×1024 was also missing, I would’ve had to spend at least the time it took to post this to figure it out, so I donate that time to you by typing this post.

  15. lolfang says: