Legs & Fats: Portal 2 Co-Op’s A Charmer

I awake from a seven hour post-food poisoning slumber feeling beyond awful, but am instantly cheered by the latest in Valve’s unending stream of Portal 2 tickles. This time, it’s a lot more meaningful than a snatch of puzzles, environments or Ricky Gervais’ mate. This time, it’s the co-op in full vidaction – and, quite clearly, cast-iron confirmation of what the next Valve plush toys’n’t-shirts we’ll all be squeeing helplessly at will be. Go Laurel, go Hardy.

Old news to anyone who was at PAX (or watched wobblecam footage from it), new, high-def news to the rest of us. And the moment two new iconic Valve characters are born, I suspect.

Here’s a blurry walkthrough of the co-op mechanics too, proving just how cute and expressive mute robo-chums Legs and Fats (they’ve not been blessed with official names yet, so let’s devise our own affectionate handles for the modified ambulatory turret and personality core) are even when just dossing about.

But oh, the potential for arguments in Portal 2 co-op. The degree of genuine co-operation, rather than both running to the front and shooting everything, is going to be pretty profound. Both players will surely have to be almost 100% servile to each others’ wishes and suggestions – which means I will be unable to play this with at least 97% of people I know.


  1. SheffieldSteel says:

    Can I jsut be the first to say…
    I liked co-op gameplay before it was cool :P

    • drewski says:

      System Shock 2 and Baldur’s Gate co-op rocked.

    • jeremypeel says:

      Damn right.

      Me and my younger bro are tearing through BG co-op currently and having a whale of a time.

      Sure hope we don’t come across any whales though. At least not until we get the Ankheg platemail sorted.

    • Gnarf says:


  2. Navagon says:

    This game is going to be amazing. But yes, I’m not sure how well the coop would work without a partner who is a, well… bot.

  3. sudogamer says:

    The graphics in Portal 2 (possibly the least important element) are looking really rather good, is this still the same Source engine as HL2?

  4. JackShandy says:

    These adorable little robots are clearly dudes! What happened to Portal’s Ladies Only agenda?

    link to rockpapershotgun.com

  5. Fringe says:

    Looks like a game that could make or break relationships if played with your partner!

  6. tom says:

    system shock 2…

  7. DrGonzo says:

    That looks amazing. But I’m not too keen on it switching to 3rd person. I hope it doesn’t do that in the single-player. It’s quite immersion breaking.

    • Vinraith says:

      I think the third person stuff is purely for the trailers.

    • RC-1290'Dreadnought' says:

      It looks similar to the taunts in TF2.

    • Brumisator says:

      Taunts and various actions indeed.
      Just like TF2.
      It’s been shown in the PAX trailers.

  8. yhancik says:

    I think GladOS calls Legs “Orange” in the gameplay vid (and I suppose Fats is “Blue”), but I of course like you names better :p

  9. CommanderZx2 says:

    Third person is only included for when you do taunts, such as hug, wave, etc…

  10. Tei says:

    The intro made me laugh two times. It works for me. :-D

  11. radomaj says:

    Is it me or does GLaDOS sound sultrier than ever?

    • Rich says:

      I don’t think she took dying very well.

    • Cynic says:

      I told my wife you said that and she made faces like you were a perv.
      Then we watched the ad.
      Now she agrees.

  12. stahlwerk says:

    “We would like to remind you, that this is not a competition. If it were one, however, orange would be winning.”
    <3 Oh GlaDOS, never change… <3

  13. N says:



    • Cynic says:

      That’s the point here, she’s being sinister instead of what you see as not funny.

  14. Mr_Day says:

    Squatbot and Spindly!

  15. shnyker says:

    Oh GlaDOS we missed you.

  16. Cooper says:

    Ok. This may have to be the first game I -ever- play co-op. Maybe.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      I’m sure you can find a playing partner for the co-op if you can’t find anyone else with the game when it comes out on the foruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhms!

  17. GLaDOS says:

    We assure you that Android Hell is a real place and you will be sent there upon the slightest sign of deviance.

  18. Jharakn says:

    “Our super-fun regulations require us to inform you that you must now leave the theatre as measuring the effects of asbestos lined promotional clothing is not part of today’s presentation. Enjoy your free T-shirt, goodbye”

    GlaDOS is one of the best computer game characters ever created in my opinion.

  19. FunkyBadger says:

    Loved it when they hugged in the first vid! (This may be an exaggerated reaction to *nice* things after playing the Amnesia demo)

  20. wyrmsine says:

    This game will be my next dose of relationship poison – looking very forward to it.

  21. Dominic White says:

    The writing continues to be fantastic.

    “You don’t know pride.
    You don’t know fear.
    You don’t know anything.

    You’ll be perfect.”

    Really looking forward to this.

  22. Armyofnone says:

    I was able to be lucky enough to play this at the PAX convention. Played super smoothly, and really enjoyed it, even if the bastard of a Valve team member threw me into a pit of death.

  23. Radiant says:

    Is that really a link to a Halo suicide bomb trailer?
    Jesus Christ.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      Suicide bombing is fucking rad brah

      wait the kids don’t say rad anymore do they

      anyways yeah I’m surprised that Medal of Honor is having more controversy when Halo is implying you should blow yourself right the fuck up.

    • Thants says:

      C&C Generals had suicide bombers as a unit.

  24. jaheira says:

    Sigh. It’s coming up to three years since Valve made a single player game. Oh well, whatever, never mind.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      I take it you were too busy bitching to get friends? And by the way, Portal will have a separate single player campaign.

      The Co-Op is just icing on the cake.

    • jaheira says:

      None taken.

      While they were making the co-op icing they could have been making more cake, or even a type of single-player icing that …. oh dear the analogy has broken.

    • Shadram says:

      The cake’s a lie, anyway.

      … Sorry. Someone had to say it.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      No I don’t think you get it.

      The single player will be as long as a feature length game like Half-Life 2. There will ALSO be co-op. As a bonus.

      Now when Portal 2 comes out and you decide you want co-op fun more than you hate your fellow humans, I suggest bouncing over to the forums at that time to look for a partner.

  25. gromit says:

    It just came to me. HL3 will feature a new engine to replace Source.
    That is all.

    • deliciousandjuicypileofshit says:

      valve confirmed you will not be playing with gordon in HL3. Which means ep3 should wrap up his story and he will prob die :)

    • Malcolm says:

      I doubt that. Source is continually evolving – compare source circa Half Life 2 with L4D (or these Portal 2 videos).

    • Rich says:

      “It just came to me.”
      That’s what you get when you huff paint.

      The next instalment of Half-Life will be an episode, the third episode, as they’ve always said.
      deliciousandjuicypileofshit is right that they’ve also said that Ep3 will be the end of the Freeman story arch, if not the Half-life story entirely (spin-offs not withstanding).

      This constant talk of a full blown Half-life 3 is crazy. Ep 2 was only 3 years ago, and yes I know they could’ve been working on HL3 since HL2, but why would they try episodic content if they always intended to drop it? Besides the episodes, they’ve clearly also been busy with all the other bits and bobs they’ve released, not least of which is Portal.

      Oh yeah, and massive engine version iterations are not their style. Source has already changed a lot since HL2.

  26. bleeters says:

    TF2 needs a hugging emote :(

  27. Dominic White says:

    Portal 2: A puzzle-themed robot hug simulator.

  28. jeremypeel says:

    That trailer made me grin like a shit-eater who adores shit. It actually seems kinda churlish to ask for Episode 3 right now.

  29. UsF says:

    With icing as thick as the cake itself. :)

  30. dudekiller says:

    My semi-comatose brain managed to parse the top picture as being a picture of two robots, with the rightmost one of which striking a rakish pose in a pair of natty blue jeans.

    Now I realise it’s not, and I kinda wish it was.

  31. MWoody says:

    I don’t really like that first trailer, there – it’s prerendered, but it’s also close enough to the actual gameplay to border on false advertisement. Don’t get me wrong, excited for the game and all, but to my mind it steps over a line. With Portal’s casual-heavy audience, I guarantee there will be some who are disappointed come release that the main game doesn’t look like a Pixar film.

    • DrGonzo says:

      Well I think it’s the same as Left 4 Dead’s trailer. It does look shinier, but they do seem to be using the assets from the game. And I think the trailers do give a good idea of how the game plays unlike most other trailers for games.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      Actually with the way they tack shiny bits onto the Source Engine to keep it current I wouldn’t be surprised if high end computer COULD run it at that resolution.

    • Rich says:

      Definitely uses the source engine, but probably not rendered in real time.

  32. Serenegoose says:

    I LOVE the soundtrack in the trailer. It’s perfect! I’m watching it again just to hear it.

  33. pupsikaso says:

    It’s being demoed on a console.
    I cried =(

    • DrGonzo says:

      I think it’s being demoed on PC with a 360 controller. You see a mouse cursor appear at one point during the presentation.

    • pupsikaso says:

      That’s… that’s even more salt in the wound.

  34. Rich says:

    “The single player will be as long as a feature length game like Half-Life 2.”
    I think that may be an exaggeration, but it’s certainly going to be substantial.

    • Rich says:

      Devil take this reply system!
      That was a response to DJ Phantoon.

  35. Ian says:

    “Don’t disappoint me, or I’ll make you wish you could die.”


  36. Spliter says:

    This is the game I’ll be getting an internet connection for the entire year.
    Just to download this game I’ll subscribe to a mobile internet connection 34$ a month for 12 months.
    I really hope it lives up to my expectations.
    And knowing Valve… it probably will.

  37. Pete says:

    Is the co-op going to be offline as well as online?

    • Dominic White says:

      Unlikely. Despite it being fully-functional, Valve actually removed split-screen play from the PC version of L4D at launch, because people complained about it even being there. Reminded them of consoles, apparently.

    • FunkyBadger says:

      My irony detector just exploded… are you joking DW?

  38. FunkyBadger says:

    Oh yeah, the robots… they’re clearly Simon Pegg and Nick Frost circa Hot Fuzz.