Kingbreaker: Crush The Castle 2

RPS does not necessarily endorse killing the poor

The iPhone version of Armor Games’ original Crush The Castle has been a guilty pleasure of mine for a while. I was about to pick up the Android port now I’ve changed to an HTC Erotic or whatever it’s called, but then helpful reader Norskov appraised pointed our eye-machines at to the arrival of a browser-based sequel. This highly-emprettified follow-up to the game I like to call “Angry Birds For Medieval Sadists” is going to fulfill all my royalty-splatting needs for the time being.

Basically, you’re lobbing bloody great rocks at kings and queens with a bloody great catapult, balancing speed and power to kill everyone with as few shots as possible. It’s the same mechanics as irritatingly omnipresent iPhone gamette Angry Birds, only more elegant, more subtle and not based around a joke about fat robins that doesn’t quite work. Plus it’s quite deliciously violent in its odd, static way.

It’s the physics that does it. The way stuff wobbles for so long, always leaving that slim hope that maybe, maybe that girder will topple and squash that last footsoldier. It’s the top of the end of Inception, only with iron walls and fatal head injuries.

I’m pleased to see that the sequel hasn’t replaced the odd, motionless statue-characters will fully-animated versions, as their microscropic helplessness is part of the charm. The general level of detail, especially in the backdrops, is up though.

The level editor’s still in there too, which is where the real fun lies. Sadly it’s resorted to paid unlocks, one of which grants you all the ammo types right off the bat and thus rather defeats the challenge of the game. Still, the evil cunningness of player-made levels means it’s never going to be a cakewalk.

A mechanic people are perhaps getting tired of, but for my pretend money this is comfortably one of the strongest cata-games around. Play! You’ll need a Kongregate account if you want all that achievement bollocks, mind. I didn’t bother.


  1. Ian says:

    “I’m pleased to see that the sequel hasn’t replaced the odd, motionless statue-characters will fully-animated versions, as their microscropic helplessness is part of the charm.”

    Aside from when you use some of the magic-y “bombs” later. It’s strangely horrifying when they catch fire.

  2. Gremmi says:

    The final unlock is awesome.

    mouseover for spoiler

    • Ian says:

      How do you unlock that? I got all the others. :(

    • Gremmi says:

      Got it after winning all gold coins on all levels.

    • Ian says:

      Yeah, realised after I’d posted that that it was probably fairly obvious. Wish I hadn’t bothered in a way ’cause I’m currently repeating about three levels ad infinitum in the hope that eventually some fucking wizard will remember an entire fucking building sitting on his head ought to kill him.

    • MrPyro says:

      Yeah, I’d been playing for ages trying to get perfect gold medals on all castles. Finally got the last one, unlocked the new ammo, and just thought “I’ll try this on that last level that took ages”

      Cue utter hilarity

    • Gremmi says:

      I find the later levels are much easier when you ignore what you’ve just been given and pelt them with something else instead. The triple bomb and parachute bomb got me through most of the levels for gold coins.

  3. Malagate says:

    Ahh, good to see more traditional catapult based mayhem.

    I was most disappointed by “Angry Birds” when my friend showed it to me on his fancy pants phone, simply because of the title (I was imagining something completely different) and the fact that catapults in flash has been done before and probably better (re: the first version of the game mentioned in this very article).

    Que people complaining that this game is a rip-off of Angry Birds…

    • panther says:

      Your in the wrong place if you think people are gonna have a go at your for that

  4. oceanclub says:

    Oh, I loved the original. And yes, I can’t understand why Angry Birds is the most popular of this genre; it’s nowhere near as fun.


  5. Robin says:

    Angry Birds is prettier and has much, much nicer level design, imo, but maybe I’ve just not given Crush the Castle enough of a fair shake.

  6. Con says:

    Glad to see this up here! I was the artist on both the CTC games.

    Just for everyone who’s talking about Angry Birds, the original Crush the Castle predates it by quite a bit. Prior to that even, we borrowed the idea (with permission) from the much lesser known Castle Clout. Reeeeally irritates me when people claim we ripped Angry Birds.

    • Deanb says:

      Oh no worries, the whole ‘who n what came first’ business always does get a bit foggy when it comes to Apple ;)
      (I only heard of Angry Birds last week when the Android beta hit anyway)

  7. Fred Wester, CEO of Paradox says:

    How right you are, then.

  8. Cynic says:

    A similar game with much less time spent panning the camera over to your catapult is Sieger, also by the ubiquitous Armour Games.
    link to

  9. Down Rodeo says:

    My Desire bricked this morning. I assume that’s the phone model you’re talking about, they do seem to like their racy names. Apparently, I get a new one in the morning (those that are talking about the Bird one are correct, it is a worse version of CtC).

  10. Max says:

    GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I have played the first level at least 50 times and I still can’t get gold on it. Every shot either goes slightly too far or slightly too short. It’s driving me mad.

  11. Carra says:

    Well, I just spent half an hour with it. Great fun.