Placebo FX: House M.D. Demo

There’s something about a lonely sociopathic drug-addict being the lead character in one of the most popular TV shows in the world that puts a spring in my step. I can never quite get enough of that acerbic patter and underlying existential horror. So you can imagine I leaped at the House M.D. demo. Unsurprisingly, it turns out to be a lo-fi point ‘n’ click puzzler punctuated with quips that are as insulting as the actual TV dialogue, without the charming delivery. Pretty much everything is in place, apart from the misdirection in the opening illness scene, with the differential diagnosis and various icky medical procedures all laid out for you in the predictable structure of one of the TV episodes. I can’t really recommend anyone download it or anything like that, but the hour-long demo exists just here if you do want to examine swollen pixels on a low-res 50-something Caucasian male.

Trailer below. “No-one is immune from Dr. House’s biting zingers!” Quite.


  1. Dominic White says:

    This isn’t even the first House game. There have been several, though mostly for celphones.

    There was a hilarious Let’s Play of one that I saw on the Something Awful forums. It was almost immediately apparent that the developers were not native english-speakers, which made their attempts at replicating the shows humor… amazing, to be honest, just not in the way they had intended. Lemme see if I can’t dig it up.

  2. Dominic White says:

    Yes! Here, behold the beautiful trainwreck that is House M.D.: The Mobile Game.
    link to

    • Crane says:

      “I consume whatever I wish!

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      Wow. That’s terrific. House goes from a somewhat insane brilliant doctor to a psychopathic alien child with a universal translator.

      One might say he’s “a king of joke”.

    • Corporate Dog says:

      I suspect this would be a lot like “Magical Truthtelling Bastard Spidey” from Transmetropolitan.

  3. Sobric says:

    Not going to play this because I actually enjoy the TV show, and I fear I’ll never get “no-one is immune from Dr. House’s biting zingers!” out of my head while I watch it.

  4. bleeters says:

    I think my IQ just went down 50 points, too.

  5. i liek turtals says:

    YES! another hole in my life has been filled! I’ve been waiting for this since I aaah nvm.. I’m not gonna bother.

  6. Tunips says:

    Crashes on my computer. Probably for the best. I’ve been watching new screenshots for this come out with train wreck horror/fascination.

  7. int says:

    Are we now in the 1990s? Is this the House version of The Last Express. Don’t judge a game too soon but this looks awful.

  8. Dezro says:

    I always thought a House video game should play like Duck Tales for the NES. So this is a disappointment.

  9. Red Avatar says:

    I watched the trailer and the second I saw “solve mini-games” I closed the page. “Mini-games” is just another word for “we’re lazy unoriginal tossers who want to add filler to our crappy game”. Mini-games ONLY work if they’re truly well integrated. Picking locks in Oblivion and Thief for example.

    But, Christ, what is up with companies using all the laziest, shoddiest design methods in recent years? Quick-time events! Regenerating health! Duck & cover combat! Mini games! Slo-mo action!

    • MWoody says:

      It doesn’t really make sense to call design decisions that you simply don’t like “lazy” and/or “shoddy.”

    • Red Avatar says:

      It DOES if those decisions ARE out of laziness and lack of creativity to make an actual fun game. Almost every cheap license game under the sun has used this method and has resulted in a bad bad game as a result – how you can defend that, is beyond me. *pokes the angry Kieron to remind you of the disaster that was Big Brother The Game*.

    • Thants says:

      Lazy license games are bad because they’re lazy license games. Theres nothing inherently bad or lazy about regenerating health or cover systems, or mini games or slo-mo action. (Maybe quicktime events).

  10. Dominic White says:

    The funny/sad thing is that there’s already a better House game on a Nintendo system. It’s just not called House.

    A large chunk of recent multi-doctor-em-up Trauma Team involves diagnosis, and the truth is often discovered through misleading, tricking and otherwise pressuring troublesome patients into telling you stuff that they ‘forgot’ to mention earlier.

    There’s also a sizeable point-and-click adventure chunk of CSI stuff, searching for and analyzing forensic evidence to determine causes of death. It’s a good game. This? This is not.

  11. tigershuffle says:

    Dammit to hell. John…………………I want a FPS in Uttoxeter!!!


  12. Gosh says:

    house would be proud (sarcasm!)

  13. Christian Otholm says:

    Do you still solve complicated surgical tasks with satanism? Because that was one of my favorite medical abilities in Trauma Center: Second Opinion.

    • pipman3000 says:

      you solve them by using houses biting zingers

    • Dominic White says:

      The actual medicine in Trauma Team is much more down-to-earth. Proper surgery, for the most part. The Healing Touch stuff is right out.

      Of course, the overarching plot is COMPLETELY BATSHIT INSANE to compensate for the increased sanity of the gameplay. The Orthopedics guy moonlights as a superhero, and the endoscopist is a ninja. An actual, straight-up ninja.

  14. Sudogamer says:

    This isn’t a great game, I’m afraid. Wrote a review on it here, for anyone interested.

  15. DigitalSignalX says:

    It’s Lupus. Every time.