Hands Off My Bird: Chase Goose 2

This grab actually doubles as a metaphor for Alec's life.

Wow, it’s not every Friday the 15th of October that you get to play the best game ever. Courtesy of Mike Rose of the pleasurable Indie Games blog, Chase Goose 2 is a Canabalt-style browser game about a brave goose fleeing certain death for as long as it can. You propel the goose forward by pressing left and right on your keyboard, and… well.

I don’t want to spoil anything, but unlike Canabalt Chase Goose 2 isn’t simply about timing. Go play. You’ll see.

80 Comments

  1. Rotekian says:

    How many in a pair?

  2. Stoff says:

    Whats two squared? I really wasn’t ready for that one :(

    • Pani says:

      What the heck is the Japanese lucky number? That threw me off completely.

      This game just makes me panic!

    • Matt says:

      7, probably.

      I screwed up at “You” because I spell words properly on the internet.

  3. FuryOfTheAxe says:

    Those sounds in the intro scared the… well, I wasn’t prepared to them accordingly.
    My poor heart…

  4. Crescend says:

    Aiee I cannot get past 827 points :D must.. beat.. record..

  5. Alexander Norris says:

    This is terrible. You’re terrible. I hate you for making me suffer this, Quinns. Hate.

  6. Hideous says:

    Holy crap, I’m on RPS again.

    This game is officially fueled by the RPS biscuit fund.

  7. NukeLord says:

    Oh God, not in Spanish too! D:

    1315 is the best I’ve done so far.

  8. M says:

    I want to die. This game wants me to die.

  9. S says:

    What the hell is the answer to ‘why?’

  10. Conge says:

    Unfortunately this fails my acid test for browser games – the frantic, clattering nature of the controls makes it far too obvious that I am not performing a work-related keyboard action.

    “Uh yeah I have to alternate between these two cells really quickly or this spreadsheet won’t work”

    • Rinox says:

      Hahaha, well said sir. Too much frantic keyboarding to not be suspicious. :-/

      As 2189418651% of flash games are probably played during work and school hours, this does seem like a minor drawback.

  11. Pax says:

    I am defeated at the first instance of having to hold down shift. Surely I am too weak to live in video game land!

  12. roBurky says:

    Tap left and right, hold shift and press minus? Nooo! I need larger hands!

    • Crescend says:

      Or you could learn to alter left and right arrows with your ring and little finger and use index finger to press minus ;)

    • RagingLion says:

      Indeed. Shift and minus simultaneously is a work of torture and my hands aren’t small.

    • Fox says:

      O is 0!

      No 0 is O!

      Godammit!

  13. Brumisator says:

    Good thing you can let for of shift for a second when trying to reach a far-off key.

    This game could be viewed as a cynical ordeal, showing the superiority of a console controller Vs. the overly-complicated keyboard. (Hmmm, these drugs I’m doing are great! Anyone want some?)

  14. JohnArr says:

    Lookatwhatyou’vedonenowmythumbhascomeoffAAAARRARG

  15. stahlwerk says:

    If I had to choose what to chase, I would have chosen a moose instead of a goose, as geese – unlike meese tend – to flee by flying means.

  16. Angryinternetman says:

    Whats 9/2 +½. 4!!! jumpjumpjump!! NowaitGAMEOVER

    I feel like an idiot

  17. Ian says:

    Oh god, sod that.

  18. costyka says:

    You should have sent biscuit to Blizzard

  19. stahlwerk says:

    @Hideous, great game, I especially dig the music. Unfortunately there’s some i18n keyboard layout stuff going on: ‘y’ on a QWERTZ keyboard really prompted for ‘z’, and the minus key is somewhere else entirely / nowhere to be found.
    Maybe you could change the game so that it reads the character input instead of the key code? Or change it to only use unambigous keys.
    My system: Firefox 3.6 on german OS X 10.5 macbook core2duo, with a de-de keyboard layout. Flash 10.1 r53.7

    • Hideous says:

      There’s really nothing I can do – sorry. It’s a flash thing.

      For future reference, the minus key should be next to shift.

    • Bob Bobson says:

      Which shift? With only 2 to chose from I should be able to figure it out :)

      PS now my hand hurts, I hope you’re happy.

  20. James G says:

    Holy crap I suck. It doesn’t help that my right hand seizes up after about the fourth jump.

  21. drewski says:

    I was doing well until “why”.

    Why indeed, sir. Why indeed.

  22. Hydrogène says:

    This is a completely new kind of torture! Well done Mr Hideous, Well done indeed.

  23. RagingLion says:

    How are people doing? I finally got the basics nailed down and had a good run to 2,306. Managed to guess a fair amount of the foreign stuff but got stumped by “ubres et una voca”.

    • TXinTXe says:

      4, i think. ubres are tits (only for cows and things like that, not women) in spanish.

  24. John Peat says:

    Whilst I admire the idea – the actual game, the experience of playing it – is utterly fucking awful.

    I’d sit and bang nails into my fingers before I’d play that again – the gaming equivalent of patting your head, rubbing your stomach and having your toesa eaten by large slugs…

  25. Hmm-Hmm. says:

    Interesting. Perhaps mostly as a torture device? I also rather suck at it.

  26. Skusey says:

    This is quite fun, but after seeing the picture I got really excited because it’s a goose being chased by a thing and when I played it I got confused and then I got sad.

  27. EthZee says:

    OH GOD

    MY HANDS

    CARPAL TUNNEL ARRRGG

  28. Dozer says:

    RPS – helping Internet people develop sore wrists.

    Got to about 1300 on the third or fourth attempt, then failed to read ‘Bee’ correctly and died. Having very large hands helps a lot with this game – I can hold left-shift and minus at the same time on a normal keyboard with only my left hand!

    Japanese lucky number = 8 surely. That’s why all the new airliners released recently have the standard model as 8 or 800. Airbus A380-800, Boeing 747-8 etc.

    • Hideous says:

      It’s supposed to be 8, yes, but we messed it up and it’s 4 in this game. Pretend it’s bizarro japan or something.

    • TCM says:

      Isn’t 4 symbolic of Death in Japan?

      Actually, that’s oddly fitting.

  29. Kazang says:

    RUN HOLD SHIFT AND PRESS NINE!

    Wtf is this shit?

  30. TCM says:

    MY FINGERS FELL OFF

  31. brulleks says:

    First time I’ve ever used my tongue to control a game character.

    Well, except that one time on Tomb Raider…

  32. somnolentsurfer says:

    This is the most painful game I’ve ever played. More than when I worked in tech support for an ISP with no customers, and we just used to play multiplayer GTA 1 9 hours a day, and my hand was locked in a permanent claw. Also, pressing control while hammering the arrow keys switches to my second desktop.

  33. Igor Hardy says:

    Style wise looks lovely, but my fingers are too tired to play these kind of games.

  34. Mana_Garmr says:

    Ok, switching language is just evil. Jumping from left-shift to right-shift while timing my jumps and working out maths is hard enough in English.

  35. spiderwebby says:

    for added difficulty, try playing this with a dvorak layout.

  36. kutkh says:

    Now I have carpal tunnel but I’m so happy.

  37. blind_boy_grunt says:

    wow i’m useless at this game. I get only to the hold down shift part. Then that + press another thing messes me up so much i mess up the walking part. It would be the worst job teaching me to drum, i’m absolutely unable to hold a beat

  38. Wowza says:

    This is just… brutal.

  39. Vinraith says:

    Repetitive Stress Injury 2: The Re-injuring.

  40. noobnob says:

    Oh my god, that monster has legs. Teeny tiny legs.

  41. MrEvilGuy says:

    FUCK YOU FUCKERS

  42. Harbour Master says:

    I don’t know why but this thread made my laugh so much I started to cry. Now I can’t see the screen in addition to the loss of my right hand.

  43. Faxmachinen says:

    ‘Tea’ is not a goddamn button.

  44. Pope Guilty says:

    This hurts my hands and is therefore a bad game.

  45. Joe says:

    “Ultima letre del alfabeto”

    I tried “O”, close but no cigar huh?

    • John Peat says:

      I only speak English (and a bit of Dutch) but I’m guessing Ultimo = Ultimate = Last, Lettro is obvious and Alfabeto is Alphabet so…

  46. SapientWolf says:

    You can just smash the keys at the same time and save your wrists some strain. I think a few of the jump pads are mislabeled though. I occasionally fall to my doom despite frantically pressing the displayed key. Oh well. Maybe it’s added realism because ducks don’t read very well. Also, I usually have about a 50/50 shot at getting a U or a V right.

    Still, it’s a pretty fun timewaster.

  47. Corrupt_Tiki says:

    Japanese lucky number you too asshole :P

  48. Stu says:

    Stop crying about your sore wrists, you babies. Daley Thompson would laugh in your faces. LAUGH I SAY.

  49. madhaha says:

    According to Wikipedia and this photo, cows have two udders:

    link to en.wikipedia.org
    link to dreamstime.com

    :/

    Otherwise fairly straightforward so far. I knew being a touch typist and pianist was good for SOMETHING.

  50. Yanko says:

    Because of this, for the first time i almost sent a tip to RPS about a game. I found it pure genius, it’s like playing twister with your left hand, except you get carpal tunnel issues. And i laughed my ass off at every single prick move from the game, which made me lose a lot (including on 345×0 =$).

    And hell, it’s a goose. Can’t go wrong with a goose.