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Privates: Satisfy longer!!Longer-lasting action!

I could come up with my own penis extension gags to celebrate the announcement of free DLC for Zombie Cow’s splendid free shoot/giggle/educate game Privates, but they’ve done such a good job themselves that I really don’t need to bother. Like so:

Zombie Cow Studios and Channel 4 to offer PENIS ENLARGEMENT.
=~~ DO YOUR MANHOOD NEED MORE? практические методы разработк
Satisfy longer!!Longer-lasting action!text-decoration: underline;”>

After the huge, throbbing success of this summer’s PC-EXCLUSIVE side-on shooter Privates, Zombie Cow Studios and Channel 4 are delighted to announce there’s some totally-free DLC on the way.

“We’ve decided to go all-out and make a whole new adventure, this time set inside a gentleman’s bits,” said Dan Marshall from Zombie Cow Studios. “We’re also planning to cram in new gameplay mechanics, new enemy types, new locations, and a new player character. It’s not just more of the same, although it’s DLC so clearly some of it’s going to wind up pretty similar.”

“The Privates DLC will obviously be strictly PC-only, and should be available round Easter time 2011.”

“Do you know who he said those quotes to, though? He said them to himself for his own press release,” sneered Rock, Paper, Shotgun’s Alec Meer.

More Privates! Yay! Intra-penis adventures! Yay! Although isn’t it just going to be one long, very narrow tunnel and then a couple of cave-things? There must be more to it than that. God, I know so little about the inner workings of Alec Jr. It’s embarrassing. Thank crikey there’s to be a game that will help me understand how the old chap works.

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Alec Meer

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Co-founder of RPS. Dungeon Keeper & X-COM 4 Life.

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