Poker Night At The Inventory TF2 Rewards

EDIT: The first trailer’s out! Watch below.

Do you care about Poker Night At The Inventory, Telltale’s upcoming cheapo comedy poker game featuring Strong Bad, Tycho from Penny Arcade, Max from Sam & Max and TF2’s Heavy? Not so much? What about… now:

Valve has revealed the five equippable TF2 items you’ll be able to unlock playing Poker Night At The Inventory, plus the Poker Visor you get if you pre-order, making this the first time a non-Valve game has unlocked content for TF2 which affects the game proper. You can peruse these goods after the jump.

* The Enthusiast’s Timepiece – Tycho’s favorite timepiece (equippable by the Spy)

* License to Maim – Max’s Badge (equippable by all classes)

* The Lugermorph – A second chance at Max’s personal armament (equippable by the Scout and the Engineer)

* The Iron Curtain – The Heavy’s first love (equippable by the Heavy, obviously)

* Dangeresque, Too? – Strong Bad’s styling glasses (equippable by the Demoman)

Bam. You can read Valve’s blog post on the subject here, and thanks to RPS reader Liro for the tipoff. Oh, wow. I just remembered the two years I spent playing Liero, my friends and I trash-talking and laughing for the entire duration of every match. What a classic.

And while we’re on the subject of Poker Night at the Inventory, the first non-teaser trailer hit YouTube yesterday. Here it is:


  1. Gremmi says:

    “making this the first time a non-Valve game has unlocked content for TF2”

    I may be remembering wrong, but didn’t a previous Telltale game preorder give you a Max hat?

    • Quintin Smith says:

      I took that line from the official Valve blog! I guess they’re talking about equippable items. Will update the post.

    • Varcynal says:

      What they were talking about is that you have to PLAY the game to get the items, like the alien swarm parasite hat (but that was a ‘valve’ game)

    • subedii says:

      And on the note of “which affects the game proper”, as far as I’m aware, the additions are purely cosmetic.

      The Lugermorph was available before if you bought “Sam & Max: The Devil’s Playhouse” in its first week, and it’s no different from the standard pistol. It’s just a model, it doesn’t affect the gameplay itself.

    • lilgamefreek says:

      The disturbing question is, “what would be the point of a cosmetic watch?”. Watches don’t show up as world models in game, so if it is entirely cosmetic, then it would be the first one entirely for client preference and not for showing off. While I wouldn’t mind that if it were true, it’s something easily accomplished by a simple custom skin and it just doesn’t sound like valve’s MO.

    • vatrak says:

      Except that custom skins don’t work on sv_pure 2 servers, or do they?…

    • Man Raised By Puffins says:

      @ lilgamefreek: It’ll show up in the kill-cam and while spectating though, so it’ll have just as much visibility as custom name and description tags do at the moment.

    • ChrisM says:

      i think what they mean is that it is the first time you can unlock tf2 items in-game in a non valve game

    • Will says:

      What does it matter. It’s £3.

  2. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    making this the first time a non-Valve game has unlocked content for TF2


    • Man Raised By Puffins says:

      Actually, it turns out they’re making a subtle distinction here. The S&M items were pre-order bonuses, most of the items here are un-locked through playing the game. Which is indeed a first for a non-Valve game.

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      HA! HA! HAAAA!

      Sadism and Masochism.

  3. gravatar will betray me says:

    It appears I have been so, so, beaten.

  4. Stense says:

    I’ve tried to learn how to play many times, but poker remains an incomprehensible mystery to me. Still, I like the idea of Max and Mr Heavy being in the same game.

  5. the wiseass says:

    — “What about… now”
    Nope, still not interested. Oh and did I mention that I don’t like the way TF2 is headed?

  6. Andrew Doull says:

    The key question is whether the items are ‘just’ reskins, or actually have different abilities…

    • stratus says:

      Honestly wouldnt it be bull shit if they had different abilities. It doesent seen fair to have special weapons that require you to do things outside of the native game.

    • subedii says:

      I’m pretty certain they’re cosmetic.

      The Luggermorph was already available before if you bought “Sam & Max: The Devil’s Playhouse” early, and it has no additional effects.

  7. Matthew says:

    Aye, my Soldier is right now happily wearing the Holy Hand Grenades that preordering the new Worms got him.

    • Brumisator says:

      Sadly, that was the most worthwhile thing about Worms: Reloaded
      …had I known before purchasing it was jsut a port from a console…my heart bleeds.

    • BooleanBob says:

      Don’t knock it! The original Worms was just a port from a console.

      That’s right! A stupid TV fun extender console toy!

    • Hippo says:

      BooleanBob: It certainly was not. It was a port from the Amiga, and the Amiga was a computer.

    • Brumisator says:

      I’m not knocking it on principle. I’m knocking it because it’s very inferior top Worms Armageddon, a game released over 10 years earlier.

      Also, oh snap, amiga.

    • Matthew says:

      Well, me and my mates bought that W:R four pack and play it occasionally, so it’s better than Armageddon in the sense that I never play that one with anyone anymore, and some Worms is better than no Worms.

      Also the Worms games are sort of like FIFA to me, in the sense that one might argue some are better than others, and there is too little difference between versions, but they’re all pretty good and you can’t go too far wrong by just picking a version, any version, and sticking to it. It doesn’t matter that they’re all the same if you only buy one.

  8. mlaskus says:

    Quintin, if you like Liero, take a look at how it changed over the years, Here

  9. Zogtee says:

    Are those the only characters in the game? I might have given in if the other TF2 classes were in there too.

  10. StingingVelvet says:

    Lost I am, amidst the clouds, stuck in the ancient ways of not giving a fuck about hats and avatars.

    • Barnaby says:

      Beautiful. True art. Currently weeping.

    • Dominic White says:

      No interest in hats here, but they got a sale from me because:

      A: Telltale do funny writing.
      B: I’ve been meaning to learn to play poker
      C: That’s an awful snazzy gun the Heavy is lugging around. I’ll take it – once I can win it off him, of course.

  11. subedii says:

    I’m still waiting on Super Smash Fortress, a side-on brawler wherein we we get to fight with the characters from Valve’s back catalogue. Who wouldn’t want to see Heavy take on D0G?

    That or a Valve / Blizzard crossover a la Marvel vs. Capcom.

    • Fatbubba says:

      I’ve actually been waiting and hoping for someone to make a smash bros style source mod for quite some time now. ……….Still hoping

    • Koozer says:

      The Super Smash series is one of the best things Nintendo have ever done, I would by 26 copies if a similar thing was done by Valve. It’d really need some other company mascots on board though, which I suspect to be nigh on impossible to achieve. Oh well, I can still dream of Gordon Freeman crowbarring the life out of a STALKER while a Vault Dweller uses his VATS finisher on Gandhi.

    • CaptainHairy says:

      @Fatbubba There almost was something similar. If you search hard enough, you might be able to find… MASTER BLASTERS. It didn’t have the huge array of characters, weaponry and stages, but it did have the same core concept as Smash Bros: damage your invulnerable opponents enough that they fall off the stage.

      It was pretty damn good fun, but I don’t think many people played it and it got dropped by the devs.

    • subedii says:

      On that note, for anyone familiar with Super Smash Bros.:

      link to

      And for those that aren’t, a side-by-side comparison with the original intro:

    • DJ Phantoon says:

      Valve will never do a partnership with Blizzard. Because they’re owned by Activision, merged with Vivendi, who tried to fuck them over as publishers.

      DO NOT WANT.

  12. Delusibeta says:

    Honestly? I loved the trailer, and liked Telltale Texas Hold’Em. I’m tempted by all this.

  13. GHudston says:

    I’m not really much for poker. It’s ok, but I’m not exactly a fan. However, after watching the trailer I will be buying this game solely for the voice acting.

  14. Fergus says:

    Ok, seriously … why does everyone go batcrap insane over every new TF2 item? Your character has a new hat. Whoopee.

    I don’t get TF2. I seriously don’t.

    • Rinox says:

      It’s not always easy to get it – on the one hand there are the real OCD kiddies/people who will commit suicide if they don’t have every hat and item RIGHT NOW (I don’t want to feed all the people who bought Worms and Sam & Max for the items and never even installed it), on the other there is a large crowd of people who treat the entire hat thing with a healthy ironic outlook (but love the hats nonetheless, of course).

      I’m not always sure which category I’m in myself at any given time.

    • Arthur Barnhouse says:

      TF2 Hats are New Sincerity.

  15. ThePeanutBaron says:

    That seems like a new weapon the Heavy is holding in the picture

  16. Rinox says:

    Might be good to note that the game won’t feature MP and doesn’t allow for real money betting. Just sayin’, cause it may make a difference for many people.

    • Lonesock says:

      Yeah, it doesn’t make any sense to buy this, since single player poker is super depressing and boring. Heck, even Dead Rising 2 had at least 2-player poker, and you could win a knight’s helmet!

      Then again, with what TF2 items are going for these days, it may still be a bargain.

      (I look at my Worms purchase as $10 for a game, $10 for a hat. It helps me sleep at night.)

    • Ted says:

      well, why bother buying a game about an inherently MP thing (poker) that isn’t, when I can just play poker in something like RD:R or some website.
      hell, now it would seem a significant portion of its sales will be TF2 item-addicts.

    • Devenger says:

      Because the characters have funny dialogue?

    • Rick says:

      Because its just meant to be a casual game?

  17. Rich says:

    Tycho looks awful. That is all.

    • Deccan says:

      And has been given an actual speaking voice, which just seems wrong.

    • Wulf says:

      I actually thought Tycho looked pretty good. He actually has expressions now that aren’t: smirky, disdainful, faux-horrified, red-eyed anger, and overjoyed-anime style, which pretty much accounts for all of his expressions throughout the last few years of Penny Arcade, I think.

      It’s nice to see Tycho looking more, well… alive.

  18. dethtoll says:

    Nope, still don’t care! In fact, care even less!

    • Hmm-Hmm. says:

      I do care. To the extent that I wish this type of thing would just go and take a hike.

      That is: not poker games, but trying to sell a game by giving achievements/skins/etc. for SOMETHING ELSE.

    • Wulf says:

      I don’t think it’s that surprising, really. Considering how buddy-buddy Valve and Telltale seem to be, currently. In fact, I expect to see more of this sort of thing, there’ll likely be Back to the Future unlocks. Franky, if they give Doc Emmett Brown’s mind-reading Sci-hat (from the first film) as a TF2 unlock in the BTTF games, I will admit to wanting that, a lot. Not that I haven’t already preordered BTTF, I’m shamelessly addicted to pretty much anything and everything Telltale, though the BTTF games look like they might be of the same exemplary quality as Tales of. Which would make me very happy.

      So… what were we talking about, again?

      Also: Hooray for segues.

  19. Rick says:

    Of course, the downside of these items is that if you use them, you will be constantly harrassed by numbnuts playing TF2 to trade them. Anyone who uses the unlocks from Devil’s Playhouse is usually badgered very regularly for the Lugermorph or Max’s Severed Head.

    • Ringwraith says:

      Tell them to leave you alone and if they persist, mute them.
      Yay for options!

  20. RakeShark says:

    I desire DeathSpank, Guybrush Threepwood (or Le Chuck), Raz, and Captain Smiley to be additions to the line up in either DLC or updates. Seriously, this would be about a close to a comedy festival/rally/charity as video games could get.

  21. Rob says:

    I think it’s a pretty neat concept.

    Agreed that Tycho and Strong Bad look a little janky, due to the incongruous animation styles, but I’m generally a fan of all those guys as characters. A situation in which they all interact has immediate appeal for me.

    Plus, I’ll be very surprised if it’s a hardline poker game, given the inclusion of dialogue trees. I mean, c’mon. It’s a $5 game. If I wind up with even 1 hour of entertainment from it, that’s not shabby at all. The TF2 items are just gravy.

    Plus, y’know, having played Diablo and Borderlands, I can understand the loot lust. It’s a powerful way to get players WAY into a game, since they’re always chasing that next piece of shiny.

    This kind of dialogue between games seems like a really interesting twist, mostly because it’s so counter-intuitive in terms of competition.

  22. Anonymous says:

    … There we’re already made changes. You can already BUY the items in TF2 for REAL MONEY, which makes the game more unfair, + this, another game you have to pay for and you also get items, The idea is just so simple too make more money, soon they’ll even come up with other ideas on how to get items by SPENDING REAL MONEY ON IT

  23. says:

    I was disapointed when I discovered it actually going to be Homestar’s Shutter Shades and not Strong Bad’s Aviators

  24. starclaws says:

    So is there a definite release date yet?

  25. noobnob says:

    The horrifying fact is that this is the 2nd most sold game on Steam right now, and probably due to the TF2 items as a bonus. I wouldn’t be surprised if Telltale profited more from this game than their entire catalog of adventure games. Well that’s a stretch, but you know what I mean.

  26. Travis says:

    Tycho’s voice doesn’t seem all that jarring, actually.

    • Dominic White says:

      He didn’t sound quite as smug and/or sharp as I had expected, but it’s honestly not a bad voice.

    • LintMan says:

      I thought Tycho’s didn’t fit the character at all.

  27. BigJonno says:

    I love the characters, the trailer made me laugh and it’s dirt cheap. The only thing that’s stopping me from buying the game is the fact that I have no interest whatsoever in a poker game.

  28. Ted says:

    Insane — they put this little thing in a game most people probably don’t otherwise care about, and it’s now sitting at #2 on the Steam best sellers chart!

  29. Dustopia says:


    • DJ Phantoon says:

      No, trolling like an idiot jumped the shark, then jumped it again, then showed up once on Married with Children before writing several self hating blogs before building a boat with Tim Robbins.

      Let’s bring back the good, intelligent kind of trolling. If anyone remembers what that was.

  30. Legionary says:

    Oh Valve, how I adored you. Our meeting was marked by fingertips brushing accidentally on purpose on the sleek shrinkwrap cover of Half-Life, and as your tram powered around my track I knew I wanted to be allowed to fill that vacancy in theoretical physics. When your one-eyed monster erupted green lightning at me I knew it was love.

    The times we have shared I will never forget. Our first kiss, an explosion in the anomalous materials lab. Through you I found Xen, and then under the watchful eye of the G-Man we both found zen.

    As the years went by our love grew only more devoted; you were my faithful partner, whose presence I knew I could always count on. In the heady happy days of our youth we visited Italy together and browsed melons and chickens at the market in the sunshine, laughing as they blew out into clouds of red, and was it just my imagination or did those intestines loop into a heart shape as they spiralled through the air?

    And then the bad times came, and the sunshine was gone. We lived in our own fortress together, battered by the storms outside. We survived, we were a team. We were more than a team. Where my friends had turned away from me and their passions had turned to money, I knew that your passion was still me. I knew I loved you, and I knew that you loved me.

    I thought that love would last forever. I was wrong. One day I ran to you, tired from a day of work in my grey office prison, looking for the solace of your arms. And you extended your perfectly crafted arm, and gently halted me. I stood baffled and despairing as you asked me to pay for your love.

    The fortress of our love had been breached, as though a portal had opened and whatever precious ocean upon which we had floated had drained away. I knew this was the day of our love’s defeat. Already I miss you, and I know in my heart there will be nobody to replace you, nobody I will ever love as fiercely. Without you it feels that I’m living half a life.

    From the rubble that is left of the fortress which together we once occupied in love I can see you walking away to join the horde of my old friends on the horizon. I can reflect and say you’re no more gone than they are; that I can still be your friend.

    But I know that we were once so much more than that. And forgive me if I can’t forgive you, give me some sympathy for the heart you drove an alien appendage through. And if I hate you now, it’s only because I loved you then.

    • Kollega says:

      That… was awesome.


      Okay. So this game is the second most-sold on Steam now, bought by people who may not even know what poker is just so they can get more TF2 items. I think we can safely conclude now that TF2 is RUINED FOREVER, and Valve is no longer a friend to an average gamer. Especially if those items turn out to have special properties.

    • Valve says:

      To Legionary,

      When I first met you, everything was fresh and new to me. The world fell in love with my vision, and I fell in love with the world. I promised myself that I would continue to be true to myself, and create things that matched my vision. Everything could not be better. When I finished HL2, I felt proud of my accomplishments, and felt that I had remained true. That was when I heard the first rumblings of discontent.

      “What is this STEAM BS?” you cried. “There is no point to this! You are just making things harder for ME.”

      Didn’t you realize I was looking to the future? That I was trying to create my vision, and protect myself at the same time? But it was alright, everything soon went back to normal, with the exception of the constant muttering about “unneeded things”. But I still loved you and I believed that you loved me too. But in hindsight, I don’t think you ever did. I can go into depth on the

      wait, I just realized I am not spending any more time on this

      TL;DR: Grow the fuck up and stop bitching about one of the most gamer friendly companies successfully monitizing a THREE YEAR OLD GAME while at the same time bringing increased revenues to other, smaller, game companies. YOU DON’T NEED TO PURCHASE ANYTHING TO PLAY TF2!!! YOU CAN FIND EVERYTHING IN GAME! DEAL WITH IT!