Something For The Weekend: Marvel Brothel


Imagine if Professor Xavier decided that fighting battles so that the battles might stop was stupid. Imagine if he gave up fighting evil mutants. Imagine if, instead, he decided to bring about the acceptance of mutants with the power of love. Imagine a Brazilian man made a sim game of this for his brother’s Birthday using RPG Maker 2003. That is Marvel Brothel.

This is, without a shadow of a doubt, a weird game. Imagine trying to satisfy the voracious sexual appetite of The Incredible Hulk. That’s the kind of game we’re dealing with here. But I’ve not yet mentioned the weirdest thing about it.

The weirdest thing about Marvel Brothel is that it’s not actually pornography in any sense, nor is it a joke game. It’s a relatively serious little project. Months of effort went into it, and there is no tittilation. There’s just trying to match clients with girls in an effort to raise enough cash to buy a bar, or upgrade the floor, or put a gym in the girls’ resting room.

Once I found this out I was all set to finish Marvel Brothel and write something vaguely serious about it, but my game encountered a compiling error after I’d played for 25 minutes without saving, and I am, basically, spent.

Instead, I direct you all to this excellent blog post, which informs me that “the final challenge is an orgy to save the world from destruction. No lie.”

Marvel Brothel can be acquired here. Thanks to my own, personal Deep Throat for the tipoff.


  1. AndrewC says:

    Don’t worry Quint, 25 minutes is pretty good. Losing your progress happens to everyone. You can try again in a

  2. Clive dunn says:


  3. Alexander Norris says:

    Please never use “Deep Throat” and “tip” in the same sentence again. D:

  4. Brumisator says:

    Good old RPG maker.

  5. Acosta says:

    Downloading fast before the Disney team of Super Lawyers notice this. By the way, now that Kieron is Super-Important-Marvel-Man, he should suggest creating a series about this: Success granted.

  6. dethtoll says:

    This can’t be any worse than Marvel’s actual comics.

  7. wererogue says:

    Where are all the Marvel gigolos?

  8. The Flash says:

    25 minutes is a lot longer than I could last.

  9. Andreas says:

    I don’t…what…why?!

  10. KillahMate says:

    Such a shame Kieron left only days too soon to cover this. Maybe he’ll show up in the comments.

  11. Gremmi says:

    A crisp note says the Marvel/Disney lawyers will be in contact with the makers shortly.

  12. Ovvno says:

    ‘Imagine trying to satisfy the voracious sexual appetite of The Incredible Hulk.’

    And in the game……

  13. Brian Manahan says:

    Does this game have hats?

  14. Mr Chug says:

    If this isn’t made into a film version starring Patrick Stewart in a massive purple pimp hat, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.

  15. Om says:

    I’ll not play a game with ‘brothel’ in the title if it contains no smut. I’m principled like that

  16. The_B says:

    It’s official – Quinn’s metamorphosis into Kieron is now officially complete with this post.

    • Ignorant Texan says:

      Quinn needs to work on his spelling before it’s officially complete.

  17. Navagon says:

    How does it measure up to Space Funeral?

    • RQH says:

      @Navagon: Is it really possible to compare anything to Space Funeral? Nevertheless, I will play this this weekend and find out.

      “Welcome to MALICE. We have MANY GOODS and CRIMINALS.”

    • Navagon says:

      You’re right. It’s too late for this game.

  18. Lord Huggington says:

    Haha, this looks like it could be the most interesting RPG Maker game to come along since that Charles Barkley Gaiden one. :p

  19. Lord Huggington says:

    Haha, this looks like it could be one of the most interesting / oddball RPGs to be made with RPG Maker since that Charles Barkley Gaiden a few years back. :p

  20. darkripper says:

    Spent some hours playing it on my netbook (I have no idea how to make it work on Mac with Wine Bottler.. anyone tried?), giving myself some carpal tunneling . It is weirdly fascinating, and the dialogues are great. The funniest thing about this is the fact it could very well be canon thanks to the Multiverse concept. Maybe this is what happens on Earth 69.

    One thing really annoying though, is the fact you can’t check the stats of your clients and staffers together, to faster find a match. If you could at least match them without going back and forth. The whole game is basically a RTS, but you play it with a SNES control scheme. Sometime I wish I could just use the mouse, but I guess the clunkiness adds to the whole experience.

    • Harbour Master says:

      I’m pretty sure the stats thing was intentional – to make the matching phase more about juggling numbers in memory. But you’re not the only person to have brought this up.

  21. TariqOne says:

    Finally something IP lawyers and feminist scholars can agree on.

  22. Cpt. Sqweky says:

    I’m probably a horrible person for asking this, but… does this count as Rule 34 or not?

  23. geldonyetich says:

    Probably something some horny adolescent teen and Marvel comics fan wrote that is now getting a whole lot more attention than they expected thanks to the RPS mention, heh.

  24. Flatfingers says:

    I see no Howard the Duck here.

  25. Shinan says:

    The same guy also made a lovely little torture porn game.

  26. The_Terminator says:

    I actually started making a game along similar lines to this a while back. It didn’t have any of the Marvel characters, but it was a serious game about running a brothel – no porn or anything like that, just pure business – designing the building, hiring staff, managing security, etc. It was intended to be a serious and objective look at organised prostitution. Was kinda fun to design, but I didn’t have the patience to actually finish making it.

    I stopped working on it partway through, but maybe I’ll dig it up and see if I can finish it at some point.

    • drewski says:

      “I stopped working on it partway through”

      Seems to be a running theme in this field of gaming. That’s the trouble with kids today, they just ha

    • droid says:

      I never finish anyth

  27. Haplo says:

    I Marvel at this man’s sheer audacity.

    Still, I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t create a Storm of reactions.

    Ah, well, that’s what being a Rogue is all about, right?

    • Nefaroth says:

      A game coupling comic books and sexual Magnetoism is the devil’s Gambit.


  28. Tony Stark says:

    I’m all iron and man down there, baby.

  29. Nyst says:

    One issue I have with the game is that I can’t check a girl’s stamina when the day is over; so you end up having to make mental notes of which girls need the most rest. It’s annoying to start a day only to find your girls exhausted. For that matter, a list of some kind (maybe on the right side of the screen, dunno) of your available girls would be welcome. I have only played a little bit but I see this game becoming very complex very soon.

  30. John says:

    You can check their current stamina level – highlight the stamina stat and press Shift.

  31. Nicolau says:

    Game was taken down by Marvel’s request. :(

  32. Harbour Master says:

    Calunio just informed me that Marvel Brothel has been taken down at Marvel’s request. Hope you downloaded in time…

    • geldonyetich says:

      No worries. I think I can live a full life without playing an RPG Maker spawned brothel sim with an X-Man crossover.

  33. BlackElvis says:

    Anyone able to put a torrent out there? Share thelove.

  34. MissPh34r says: