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Hot Diggity: Digger Simulator 2011!

Oh. My. God.

Forget CODBLOPS. Here’s the news you’ve been waiting for. Digger Simulator 2011 is to be released on December 3rd. From the makers of Digger Simulator, the latest version will let you “learn to excavate like the professionals.” We’ve got screenshots below!

A motherloving fairground!

In the game you form your own civil engineering company. “Success is in the soil!” they excitedly cry. So you develop your business, and purchase bigger and better equipment, even a steam roller!

Get down and dirty!

But this isn’t just some wild digger-fest for the amateur. You need to be qualified. The publishers, Excalibur, explain:

“Before you can start shovelling the cash, you really need to become proficient with your tools as you explore a uniquely modelled ground system complete with different layers of soil, earth and embedded materials.”

The game will feature realistic physics, including “the effects of dredging, pushing and compacting the ground beneath your equipment.”

DIG IT

The managing director of Excalibur, Robert Stallibrass, says that the game is so convincing that it can induce psychosis in the player, breaking down their ability to discern between reality and the events on screen:

“This is a totally absorbing simulation. The 3D graphics are so realistic you will find yourself reaching for your safety helmet.”

Where's my FUCKING HAT?!

It’s to cost £25, and will even allow you to compare high scores with other players. High scores for digging!

Unfortunately, industry site Games Press has already made the “Will it be shovelware?” joke, and I’m too honourable to steal it. There’s no demo at the moment, but you can bet your bottom that we’ll post it the moment there is.

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Who am I?

John Walker

Senior Editor

One of the original co-founders of Rock, Paper, Shotgun, I'm now a senior editor and hero of humanity. Old and special.

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