Johnny Depp Is A Stud

70 characters. christ

From now on, RPS will be exclusively dedicated to revealing hitherto unsuspected man-crushes on celebrities and tracking their every movement, Perez Hilton-style. You’re okay with that, right? Here we go: “Cube-faced, pencil-armed pin-up Johnny Depp took a break from being automatically cast in any and all Tim Burton films today to stroll down the Champs-Élysées whilst wearing a fetching distressed double-denim combo…”

Ahahah. Just my little joke. RPS doesn’t fancy men. Or women. RPS is, in fact, entirely incapable of sexual attraction to anyone or anything. Though we do get a little emotional about toffee cheescake sometimes. In fact, this post is about LEGO Pirates Of The Caribbean. You may be able to see what I did there.

There’s not too much information to go on, but c’mon: it’s a Lego + license game. You know the drill. Reliably entertaining in terms of both puzzles and humour, though perhaps not super-hot on the old envelope-based forward-motion.

It’ll come out in tandem with Pirates 4, On Stranger Tides, next May. Obligiatory generalism: first Pirates was great fun, the other two were baggy, self-indulgent and incoherent. This new one is purportedly standalone and, mercifully, does not feature either Ikea Knightley or Borlando Gloom. (Yes, I listen to that Radio 5 show too).

Here’s the skinny:

LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean: The Video Game will be based in the world of the globally successful film franchise, incorporating storylines, locations and characters from the first three films (“Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl,” “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” and “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”) as well as the upcoming fourth film, “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.”

LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean: The Video Game will re-create the action, adventure and memorable moments of the Pirates of the Caribbean mythology in LEGO form, incorporating the humor of LEGO minifigures and fantastic worlds built from LEGO bricks and elements for players to explore.

Players can take on the roles of more than 70 characters and experience the pirate adventure, irreverent humor and amazing creatures of the Pirates of the Caribbean films, through action-adventure gameplay and hilariously quirky LEGO cut scenes. Throughout the game, players will also have the freedom to explore environments from the highly acclaimed movie series in more than 20 levels. The game features two-player cooperative mode, in which players each control a character to experience the story together, and freeplay mode, which lets players return to levels to discover new items.

HANG ON. 70! 70 characters! I can barely think of half a dozen from the film. Good grief. Mind you, will this be the first videogame in which you can play as Keith Richards? Ooops, sorry to interrupt you there, Dave Press Release.

“Pirates of the Caribbean is a globally successful franchise based in action, adventure and humor perfectly suited for a LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean: The Video Game adaptation,” said Graham Hopper, executive vice president and general manager, Disney Interactive Studios. “Combining the excitement of playing as Jack Sparrow and other recognizable characters from the franchise will make the game fun for players of all ages throughout the world.”

“The action-packed world of Pirates of the Caribbean is a perfect fit for LEGO video games,” said Tom Stone, Managing Director of TT Games Publishing. “With so many wonderful characters, in such amazing environments, our teams are having great fun – and we’re sure that players will, too.”

To date, the Pirates of the Caribbean movies have generated more than $2.5 billion at the global box office while the multiple Pirates of the Caribbean video games have sold more than 6 million units globally.

Also: there will be real-life LEGO Pirates toys, apparently. Magazines will be sent some, I’m sure. RPS probably won’t. /Me shakes fist.

Anyway: it’s a license that totally makes sense for TT’s Lego series, I think. Bombast, derring-do, humour, reluctance to actually kill anyone, bloody great boats. Could be a lot of yaar me hearties fun – especially if they include a full-on naval sub-game.


  1. Octacon100 says:

    I see what you did thar! ARR!

  2. Shakermaker says:

    “especially if they include a full-on naval sub-game.”

    *laments the downfall of the Silent Hunter series*

    • The Tupper says:

      All we need is a title for the game. In keeping with the tone of the original post, how about “Johnny Depp’s Seaman Adventure”?

    • Jhoosier says:

      I’d buy that!

      …what? >.>

  3. Unaco says:

    I’m not ashamed to admit that I’d go gay for Johnny Depp. As long as some spooning was involved. Lego Johnny Depp doesn’t appeal to me, however.

    • bob_d says:

      Really, who wouldn’t?

    • Premium User Badge

      phuzz says:

      I have to agree with you there, but also, you get the impression he’d fun to go for a drink with too.

  4. The Hammer says:

    I dunno, if anyone could make a Lego character sexy, it’s Depp.

    Cue thousands of people the world over wondering whether it’s OK to have the hots for a toy.

    EDIT: Er, I’m not one of them, no!

  5. Ridiculous Human says:

    In a fun twist, the game’s title is so long, it nearly has 70 characters too.

    • Devan says:

      Nicely put.
      Maybe all they mean is they only have 70 face textures?

  6. michaelar says:

    Profoundly excited that the new film we be at least mostly based on “On Stranger Tides” by Tim Powers. If you read only one pirate-themed words-on-paper object this year, you owe it to yourself. And Tim Powers. And me.

    • ACS says:

      Absolutely. Read On Stranger Tides. It was a terrific, terrific, terrific book, and I’m excited to see it coming out on film.

  7. Masked Dave says:

    Hello to Rock, Paper, Shotgun.

  8. Vaughn says:

    I’m still waiting to see the press release about “LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean: The Video Game: The Movie”.

  9. Dr. Evanzan says:

    I think this post is failing to answer what is obviously the most pressing question from this press release.
    Namely, is Tom Stone some relation to RPS’s own Tim Stone?
    Perhaps his evil goatee wearing double from an alternate universe?

  10. Jimbo says:

    “To date, the Pirates of the Caribbean movies have generated more than $2.5 billion at the global box office while the multiple Pirates of the Caribbean video games have sold more than 6 million units globally.”

    And yet they cancelled POTC: Armada of the Damned, which looked ace. There is no justice.

  11. Chris D says:

    If you can play as Captain Jack Sparrow surely the other 69 characters are irrelevant?

    • jonfitt says:

      But can he double jump?

    • Lambchops says:

      But surely you need a menail labour pirate to dig for treasure whilst you are busy necking rum.

      There will be a necking rum mini game I assume!

  12. The_B says:

    First person to make a piracy joke will make me cry. You don’t want to make me cry. :'(

    • Gap Gen says:

      I think the phrase “piracy” referring to copying someone’s work for profit was coined by Daniel Defoe, and probably predates copyright laws. So I guess he got there first?

  13. DevilSShadoW says:

    damn it that title got me excited

  14. Gap Gen says:

    Can we expect RPS to do an After Action Report for this?

  15. Army of None says:

    “there will be real-life LEGO Pirates toys, apparently”

    I am most excited about this.

    • Devan says:

      I think if I go to my parents’ place and search their storage space I should be able to find my old collection of Lego, including the old pirate models they made when I was a kid. Will they be recycling those moulds, or making brand new ones? Maybe all they need is some Disney branding and they’re good to go.

  16. KillahMate says:

    Obligatory response to generalism: the latter two movies, though not as surprisingly good as the first one, had plenty of positive qualities and are not nearly as bad as one might assume from the backlash. I would rather be with than without them.

    (I’d say their two main problems were bloat, which is a fair accusation, and straying a bit in story and style from where people expected them to go, which is merely failed expectations and not a fault in the films themselves.)

  17. Vodka & Cookies says:

    On Stranger Tides the book was actually the main inspiration for The Secret of Monkey Island, Ron Gilbert himself said so.

    Will be interesting to see the movies take on the book and even a lego game though thats pretty predictable.

  18. Daniel Rivas says:

    I’ve seen Johnny Depp in loads of films, but I honestly couldn’t tell you what he looks like. I forget his face the moment I stop looking at it.

  19. Gabe McGrath says:

    Alec, I am sad that you have besmirched the name of the delicious Keira Knightly.

    Sure – she’s been in too many of these PotC films.
    But anyway, mmmmmm……

    Oh, and she was quite delectable in Love Actually*.

    (*Steps into flamesuit after possibly mentioning ‘that film’ on RPS for the first time ever.)

    • CMaster says:

      I’m sorry, but skin and bone alone do not make “delicious”. You might find her attractive, but delicious is entirely the wrong term for someone that lacking in meat.

  20. utharda says:

    So…. if I want to play Keith Richards, I have to assume there is also lego cocaine? RIght?

  21. Danda says:

    Disney, you cancel a real game that was already done (Armada of the Damned) and you offer us this fluff instead?


  22. Thermal Ions says:

    Can’t wait to play as: Male Pirate Extra #1, Male Pirate Extra #2, Female Native # 1, etc, etc.

    Fun little diversion these Lego games. Definitely a pick up at some stage.

  23. barbex says:

    This is probably the closest we will ever be to a Lego Monkey Island game.


  24. anna says:

    So looking forward to The Tourist with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. New clip @IAMROGUE link to