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38

Johnny Depp Is A Stud

70 characters. christ

From now on, RPS will be exclusively dedicated to revealing hitherto unsuspected man-crushes on celebrities and tracking their every movement, Perez Hilton-style. You’re okay with that, right? Here we go: “Cube-faced, pencil-armed pin-up Johnny Depp took a break from being automatically cast in any and all Tim Burton films today to stroll down the Champs-Élysées whilst wearing a fetching distressed double-denim combo…”

Ahahah. Just my little joke. RPS doesn’t fancy men. Or women. RPS is, in fact, entirely incapable of sexual attraction to anyone or anything. Though we do get a little emotional about toffee cheescake sometimes. In fact, this post is about LEGO Pirates Of The Caribbean. You may be able to see what I did there.

There’s not too much information to go on, but c’mon: it’s a Lego + license game. You know the drill. Reliably entertaining in terms of both puzzles and humour, though perhaps not super-hot on the old envelope-based forward-motion.

It’ll come out in tandem with Pirates 4, On Stranger Tides, next May. Obligiatory generalism: first Pirates was great fun, the other two were baggy, self-indulgent and incoherent. This new one is purportedly standalone and, mercifully, does not feature either Ikea Knightley or Borlando Gloom. (Yes, I listen to that Radio 5 show too).

Here’s the skinny:

LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean: The Video Game will be based in the world of the globally successful film franchise, incorporating storylines, locations and characters from the first three films (“Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl,” “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” and “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”) as well as the upcoming fourth film, “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.”

LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean: The Video Game will re-create the action, adventure and memorable moments of the Pirates of the Caribbean mythology in LEGO form, incorporating the humor of LEGO minifigures and fantastic worlds built from LEGO bricks and elements for players to explore.

Players can take on the roles of more than 70 characters and experience the pirate adventure, irreverent humor and amazing creatures of the Pirates of the Caribbean films, through action-adventure gameplay and hilariously quirky LEGO cut scenes. Throughout the game, players will also have the freedom to explore environments from the highly acclaimed movie series in more than 20 levels. The game features two-player cooperative mode, in which players each control a character to experience the story together, and freeplay mode, which lets players return to levels to discover new items.

HANG ON. 70! 70 characters! I can barely think of half a dozen from the film. Good grief. Mind you, will this be the first videogame in which you can play as Keith Richards? Ooops, sorry to interrupt you there, Dave Press Release.

“Pirates of the Caribbean is a globally successful franchise based in action, adventure and humor perfectly suited for a LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean: The Video Game adaptation,” said Graham Hopper, executive vice president and general manager, Disney Interactive Studios. “Combining the excitement of playing as Jack Sparrow and other recognizable characters from the franchise will make the game fun for players of all ages throughout the world.”

“The action-packed world of Pirates of the Caribbean is a perfect fit for LEGO video games,” said Tom Stone, Managing Director of TT Games Publishing. “With so many wonderful characters, in such amazing environments, our teams are having great fun – and we’re sure that players will, too.”

To date, the Pirates of the Caribbean movies have generated more than $2.5 billion at the global box office while the multiple Pirates of the Caribbean video games have sold more than 6 million units globally.

Also: there will be real-life LEGO Pirates toys, apparently. Magazines will be sent some, I’m sure. RPS probably won’t. /Me shakes fist.

Anyway: it’s a license that totally makes sense for TT’s Lego series, I think. Bombast, derring-do, humour, reluctance to actually kill anyone, bloody great boats. Could be a lot of yaar me hearties fun – especially if they include a full-on naval sub-game.

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Alec Meer

Senior Editor

Co-founder of RPS. Dungeon Keeper & X-COM 4 Life.

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