The Sims Medieval Ye Olde Info Blowoute

The King cutting out the middleman and proposing directly to his bride's vagina, there.

Sire! EA has announced the pre-order bonuses for its strange & spongey interpretation of the Middle Ages, and they are as follows: pre-order the game in the next 90 days and you’ll get 3 bonus throne rooms (Barbarian, Dark Magic and Princess) plus 2 extra outfits. There are a load of new details on the game rattling around on the official site, too, including run-downs of quests, heroes and how your kingdom will work. Does sire not feel up to reading? I have the solution! EA has released a marvellous 20 minute presentation of the game, including a fun-sounding new addition to the Sims whereby you give your character a Fatal Flaw, like being Cruel or a Drunk. No option to be both, sadly, which will leave Monarch Quinns with a difficult choice.

The judgement pit! Sword collections! Neighbouring territories! Spells!


  1. AndrewC says:

    I really like that all the talking is gobbledigook, as all talking in fantasy games is gobbledigook anyway, and this seems honest.

    I also really hope that this is finally the RPG with good NPCs we’ve all been promised and never got. If it’s The Sims but with no toilets, then I guess i’m going to have to wait for the Time Machine Expansion that ties Sims 3 to Sims Medieval so i can make Bill & Ted. That would be awesome.

  2. Man Raised by Puffins says:

    Love the bald guy in the front row with the dinky Sims gem strapped to his head.

  3. Carra says:

    I’m sure we’ll get even more throne rooms in the fifth expansion.

  4. Dyst says:

    > back in time.
    > wizards.

  5. Om says:

    Why is the priest in the picture wearing a Papal tiara? Is he the Pope? If not, I’ll never buy such a historically inaccurate game in a hundred years! Otherwise I’ll jump at the chance to play the Pope in a Sims game

    • thebigJ_A says:

      Because historical accuracy is such an essential part of the Sims. Right.

      They said there are two fictional religions. What was the historically accurate headwear of the Jacobins? (Well, if we are going to nitpick, it would be pronounced JACobins, they’d wear red hats, and certainly wouldn’t be a religion.)

  6. SnallTrippin says:

    I like the idea but wish it wasn’t the Sims ppl doing it. More RPG…Conqueror 1046 or whatever redone.

  7. pakoito says:

    Firts real role playing game since…I don’t know…Daggerfall?

    I still have to watch the videos, though :p

  8. Pliqu3011 says:

    No hay+shit on castle floor = HISTORICALLY INACCURATE
    Oh yeah, and magic, that too…

    I think this will fail hard. For what market segment are they making this? The Sims is mostly played by teen girls. Young girls + middle ages = no fit. Unless you throw in some vampires of course…

    • Torgen says:

      Well, I thought the Goth chick in the first image *was* a vampire at first.

      Besides, “medieval fantasy = unicorns!”, so the tween girl market is assured.

      I was hoping for no magic/fantasy stuff, and have it be “a day in the life, medieval Sims-style,” personally.

  9. Muzman says:

    That heading picture looks strangely like the guy is actually running her through with a short lance (some ugly paternity/succession snafu no doubt), but they quickly photoshopped in a flower for sensitive (aka German) audiences.

    (maybe in the paternity thing they managed to trump up some witchcraft charges and found evidence of bedeviling thanks to her having Snoopy growing out of her hip. This is why it’s all happening in front of the clergy.)

    • DrazharLn says:

      Running her through with a short lance?

      Golly. I didn’t think that RPS allowed such smut on here!

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    phuzz says:

    Er, when I saw a preview for this the other day I was under the impression it was a spoof.
    now I’m confused :(

  11. kongming says:

    Dunno why people are complaining about the inclusion of magic, it fits in perfectly with the medieval worldview. Sure, we know that magic wasn’t real, but they sure didn’t.

  12. Kadayi says:

    Interesting, though I’d like to see a bit more of it yet in terms of the quest system.

  13. Sagan says:

    I love how she completely ignores all the AI going on. Chamber maidens snickering about something in the king’s bedroom? No big deal. We can do that easily.
    Every other RPG would love to have AI like that. In Dragon Age you are lucky if the maids aren’t just standing around, playing the same cleaning animation over and over again. NPCs walking around or actually talking? “Impossible!” says Bioware. Trivial and not even worth mentioning says Maxis.

    • ScubaMonster says:

      Ooh! But SW:TOR will have fully voiced NPC’s! Who will all stand their statically and not speaking a word til you choose to talk to them. I’m guessing anyway. But it’s a MMO game so I guess it gets some slack perhaps. Adding a ton of detail into a huge universe might be a bit daunting, though not impossible.

    • RQH says:

      To be fair, I don’t think Bioware says “Impossible” so much as “Impossible given where we want to spend our time and resources.” Bioware’s aim is to make tailored, content-driven, Player-centric experiences with an element of interactivity, so it makes sense for them to spend more time on the presentation and development of that content than on the AI of random NPCs. For Maxis, and particularly for a Sims game, it would be an absolute failure for them not to include AI of that sort, since the entire game is built on these sorts of emergent interactions. Would Bioware’s games be better if they had Sims-style living worlds and Bioware storytelling? Maybe, but we don’t know what the trade-off in quality of content is. Should they ditch their content-driven approach entirely? Well, as someone who very much enjoys a hand-crafted story sprinkled with role-playing elements and the occasional impactful decision, I certainly hope they don’t. It’s not really a fair comparison, since Bioware flatly isn’t trying to make the same sort of games that Maxis is. Now, if Bethesda was to take Sims-style AI and interactions, that would be make more sense, I think, given their open world focus.

    • squidlarkin says:

      Oh man, I would be all over an Elder Sims game.

    • Kadayi says:


      What is great about sims AI is that because they are autonomous and possess both memories & motivations it adds a sense of life to the environments you just don’t see in other titles. Personally much as I enjoy Biowares games, the fact that pretty much everyone stands around waiting for you to come a quest knocking really detracts from immersion. I recall Beth made big claims about Radiant AI with Oblivion, which looked promising, but ultimately seemed shallow in comparison.

      If there’s enough depth to the game play and a lot of customization to this Sims Medieval, it could turn out to be a very interesting title in the long term. It’s kind of hitting on Fable territory for starters. My concern is that (judging by the territory map) that it might be a tad limited in terms of scope & adaptability.

    • RQH says:

      @Kadayi: Oh, no doubt. I’ve played the Sims, I like the Sims AI, and in a perfect world where we have infinite time and resources, a Bioware game could certainly be improved by having that sense of a living world. It couldn’t be quite the same, because Sims AI depends less on specific story events than on a collection of general events and statuses (in love, in a relationship, friendly, etc.), and it covers over its inability to deal with specific events and stories by using Simlish and basic icons. You would want such NPCs in a BioWare game to be specific in their discussions, while at the same time not being super repetitive, like the AI gossips in Oblivion. This creates an additional content burden in addition to an AI one. Given that we don’t have a perfect world, I would rather have on the one hand, a Bioware game, with their level of crafted story, and on the other the Sims, both playing to their particular strengths, rather than a mishmash of the two, in which neither gets the time or attention it deserves.

  14. laikapants says:

    They’ve breached the walls, fall back! Fall back!

  15. DigitalSignalX says:

    They did mention the Kings chamber pot and wash tub, so I’m sure there will be little cross your legs pee-pee dance animations and fly laden stink odors if your king spends too much time out of the castle.

    *ding* New Quest!
    Grab a handmaiden and take a bath! Happy ending optional.

  16. Grey_Ghost says:

    LOL at the alt text! I actually burst out laughing.

  17. Moonracer says:

    I get the impression this will be much like Spore. The concept is promising and has lots of potential, but the actual execution of content will leave players disappointed. But there could be a lot more to the game yet to be revealed. I’m very curious to see how war and diplomacy will play out between different regions.

  18. the_fanciest_of_pants says:

    Sadly no mention of being able to customize your own buildings.

    This + Stronghold levels of castle customization would make me a very happy camper indeed.