Angry Internet Birds

Angry internet birds. Like angry internet men, but birds.

I know how this works. I’m going to mention Angry Birds and you’re going to say how much you despise it and how games x, y, z and xyz are much better. Fine, got it, understand, you don’t need to tell me after all. I’m going to mention it anyway, because it’s vaguely surprisingly to hear that the weirdly sterile iOS catapult game has turned up on PC.

It’s via Intel’s AppUp Center wotsit, which is basically the iPhone App Store but for PCs (it’ll work on any Windows machine but is really geared towards netbooks and lower-end hardware). And with far more frightening prices, it appears. Angry Birds, for example: free on Android, 99 cents on iPhone, $5 on PC? Pfft. This is a little like saying this nice green hat costs $7, but if you want it in orange it’s $28.

I’m not prepared to pay that, so clearly I haven’t tried the PC version of the game, but its mobile ubiquity means I’ve got a pretty damned good idea of what it’s like.

Curious to see AppUp stepping up to high profile titles, though. I remain convinced we’re due to see a whole glut of such stores – there’s Google’s take on the digital games store too, though apparently customer numbers aren’t exactly sky-high there.

Anyway, Angry Birds. It’s not to my taste – give me Crush The Castle instead any day – but there’s probably a reason it’s been such a frightening success in phoneland. If you want to lure your significant other/dubious relative into PC gaming, perhaps this could be an effective start.

It’s still the blandest game in the whole wide world, though. Oh God, I’ve joined in, haven’t I?


  1. Malawi Frontier Guard says:

    I heard of this. Can you post a screenshot?

  2. pakoito says:

    Why Crush The Castle and not that funny Monty Python version :p

    • omicron1 says:

      Probably ’cause Crush the Castle did it first.

    • Casimir's Blake says:

      And the Python version seems to be a shoddy mess with tremendously poor visuals and audio.

    • dadioflex says:

      Hmmm. People LIKE Crush the Castle? Hmmm.

      I like Angry Birds. That’s normal.

    • Wulf says:

      “I like Angry Birds. That’s normal.”

      I’m so sorry! But I hear there’s an ointment for that, now.

  3. Tei says:

    I have it on the iPad, …and… is not the most fun game on the iPad, really*…
    But a lot of peple seems to like it, even government people, so probably is one of these games that will be more influencial than the whole Steam catalog.

    And heres a nice video:
    Angry Bird pact theaty

    *one of the most fun is fruit ninja.

  4. Demiath says:

    Angry Birds on a computer? Given the intrinsic nature of PC gamers, shouldn’t that be Grumpy Birds?

    • Wulf says:

      I prefer curmudgeonly.

    • Kadayi says:

      True enough, but what about irascible? Or slightly peeved?

    • Starky says:

      No, no… for PC I demand


      In which angry birds throw insults, threats and ultimatums at a Developer/Publisher castle.

      Then ultimately fail to do any damage what so ever and just slink away in a huff.

  5. Down Rodeo says:

    The thing about crush the castle is that it’s a little slow on phones, you have to be really careful about where you press on the screen (for example selecting a different ammunition type) and, I dunno, some other phone-based issue.

    Angry Birds just gets annoying for me, I always feel that even if I use the perfect “tactics”, which is to say fling the birds in the right places in the right order, there’s still a considerable element of luck. That and what ought to be several tons of wood and brickwork doesn’t crush your enemies; it has to hit them with some (often small) velocity.

  6. Schaulustiger says:

    Angry Birds isn’t half as bad as everyone makes it sound.

    The major selling point was lots of updates with new levels, bird types, etc., so you drop 99 cents once and get regular updates for free. Plus, it’s a fun, little just-a-minute-type of game.

    • Jad says:

      Agreed. The constant stream of updates is the impressive thing about the game, and many other iPhone games. If you have consoles on one side, with extended delays for patches and paid DLC, PC games in the middle-ish with frequent, easy patching, free content, and further along you have PC indies like Minecraft with strong connection to a community and very frequent updates, at the end of that spectrum you’ll find stuff like Angry Birds, with a seemingly constant stream of updates and new levels and tweaks. It’s a pretty interesting and wild game platform, those iDevices.

  7. Halibut Barn says:

    I kind of like it as an occasional mindless time-killer, but I’m baffled by the scoring system. I can pull off an amazing kill-everything-in-one throw, but only get one star for it? And it feels like pure random luck to do so in the first place, so there’s no real feeling of accomplishment or that you really need to bother trying too hard.

  8. Decimae says:

    Ah, RPS is clicking it’s own ads. Funny

    • KauhuK says:

      And now the adfirm freeze the RPS admoneys account because of your comment.

  9. Smi says:

    It isn’t s bad game, in and of itself, but I can’t help but wonder at the popularity. It’s nice and free on Android though, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have got it. Seems a bit rapid at that price though…it’s too much!

  10. Baboonanza says:

    Angry Buirds is NOTHING compared to Starcraft II!

  11. Devenger says:

    I didn’t expect RPS to be the people telling me that Angry Birds is free on Android, but hey ho, it’s good to know. I always assumed it was just an iPhone thing. Time to fire my birds. Your birds? My birds. Your birds? My birds. etc.

    • Dervish says:

      You’ve got some handsome volcano rocks to make that reference.

  12. Casimir's Blake says:

    $4.99 for Angry Birds? Yes, perhaps, but only if it is advertisement free. Android users may have had a free version, but it is lumbered with adverts.

  13. terry says:

    Angry Birds is Salman Rushdie’s favourite game. True story.

  14. 8-bit says:

    So now that its on the pc we are allowed to like it? Or is this one of those situations where a mobile game tries to gain acceptance by coming to pc and we all turn our noses up at it, like when an indie game goes to the consoles and we all have to snub it. I know its bad form to ask but I never know the proper way to react to these sorts of things.

    • Casimir's Blake says:

      Decide for yourself? Myself and my partner had many hours of fun taking turns at the Android version (plodding along on a Wildfire, it’s still fun somehow).

      Mobile gaming and indie gaming have been mixing up for a while now, there’s lots to like about both. Don’t be put off by elitists…

  15. dragonhunter21 says:

    Can’t believe Android got it free. Not saying it’s problematic, just weird.

    *walks away playing Angry Birds on his Droid*

    • Initialised says:

      It’s Google’s way of saying you’re using the right platform.

    • bookwormat says:

      It is not free, you are paying by allowing them to show you advertisement.
      And it works great for Rovio by the way: The are making a million dollars each month through advertising on the android version.

  16. Tei says:

    I am going to rot in hell for posting this
    link to

  17. Flappybat says:

    It’s simple and fairly well made but I didnt understand how it became so popular, its no better than thousands of catapult flash games that have been on the net for the last ten years.

  18. Navagon says:

    Wait! Intel? Just what the hell would this thing do to my computer if I installed it? What’s the average ransom for getting your cores back?

  19. stone says:

    You? Again!? Careful, or we’ll send the Birds after ya…

  20. bookwormat says:

    What are good sites that cover Android games? RPS appearently do not consider them within their realm.

  21. kregg says:

    Angry Birds? I despite it! Games A,B, and C are much more better because X, Y, Z.

  22. RegisteredUser says:

    Quoth Intel: all ur birdz are b-long 2 us.