Magicka Released Date Confirmed, Eek! Soon!

Aw, cute little murderers.

Release dates are not a natural source of comedy. There’s a limited number of jokes you can really get out of such a mundane piece of news. I mean, I even struggled below with the DNF announcement. Although believe me, if I ever get anyone pregnant I’ll be making “release date” jokes for nine solid months. Gosh, it will be so funny. “It’s due for Q3 2013.” “We’re pushing to meet the deadline, going into beta now.” “It’s gone gold!” “Oh, wait, it looks like the baby’s slipped into next week.” “OUT NOW!”

This is not helping in communicating the news to you that Magicka, the dungeon-crawling, spell-casting action RPG from Paradox will be out on the 25th January. Why, that’s in four days! Big Download bring us that news with their Exclusive Hat firmly wedged on their heads. We’ll have a review of the game pretty damned soon too, and I’ve put that funny video from last year below, because I’m nice like that.

40 Comments

  1. Alaric says:

    John, with jokes like this you’ll never get anyone pregnant. =)

    I kid, I kid, please don’t ban me from RPS! o.O

    • Lightbulb says:

      If it does happen just make sure you don’t take the approach of the publisher:

      “Well, the due date’s today. Lets get to the hospital and get this thing released on time!

      What do you mean you aren’t too sure when it should be ‘born’? You have to let go of your feelings about the product and release it. You can fix it up after its out.

      What do you mean no? You’re not 3D Realms you know. You can’t just keep going ‘until its ready’! Do you have any idea how many other products will be coming out between now and next week? Yours will not do well if its delayed for 2 weeks there’s some pretty major releases coming up soon! You can’t miss you slot!”

      :)

    • Vitruality says:

      They always release kids way too early these days, then you have to wait ages before they patch in basic features like voice-chat and motion controls. What’s the point in even releasing a person if they’re going to be totally unplayable until 18 years later?

  2. pakoito says:

    My friends and I beta’ed the game, it was pretty NDA APPLIED.

    • Andrige says:

      Aye I also got into the beta! The game so far is just a total NDA APPLIED.

    • Vague-rant says:

      … a total? A total pile of turd? A total blast? A total of numerically significant value?

      Looking forward to this, through it’ll probably be a good few months/weeks before I do actually get round to playing it.

    • HexagonalBolts says:

      ……… nuclear decommissioning authority….?

    • Doesntmeananything says:

      Well, OBVIOUSLY, this is Negative Dielectric Anisotropy. Yeah, absolutely.

  3. Jimbo says:

    “It’s gone gold!”

    Neonatal Jaundice is no laughing matter, Mr. Walker.

    • Zyrxil says:

      “Master sent for duplication!”

      Wait, that’s not right…

    • Shadowcat says:

      And what would the day-zero patch entail?

    • 12kill4 says:

      its all fun and games as long as the ‘project’ doesnt get cancelled…

    • RegisteredUser says:

      I heard that that if she doesn’t do proper post-release support, he might go to a different publisher next time.

  4. Meat Circus says:

    Emergent magical chain reaction-based lulz in a generic fantasy environment?

    DO WANT.

  5. Fumarole says:

    Good news everyone!

  6. HeavyStorm says:

    The game will go on a digital distribution of some kind? Steam, perhaps?

    • iniudan says:

      @HeavyStorm On steam no idea, but it is 99.9% sure to be on gamersgate (the 0.01% is just in case on improbability like a meteorite smashing directly on your head, since all paradox game always end up on gamersgate due to it been part of paradox at it beginning, think the CEO of gamersgate is the old CEO of paradox if I remember right)

    • theunshaven says:

      It’s been confirmed on the Magicka forums that the game will definitely be on Steam.

      No word on whether people buying the normal version will be able to unlock a Steam version if they want (since Steam matchmaking sounds easier than what the normal version offers) and also no word on non-Steam version DRM.

      A French site is offering to sell a preorder of Magicka+DLC for $10 Euro… except it’s a Steam preorder which isn’t on the Steam site, and thus which has confused the populace of the Magicka forums who think it looks a bit dodgy.

      Links here:

      Steam confirmation: link to forum.paradoxplaza.com
      Weird preorder: link to forum.paradoxplaza.com

  7. Blackseraph says:

    I like to prance around in a forest sometimes too.

  8. JohnnyMaverik says:

    Looking forward to this one…

  9. PJMendes says:

    This game has the best trailers ever. I want to see more from the person who does the trailers!

    • WombatDeath says:

      Any trailer containing the line “Become immersed in a generic fantasy world” is a trailer that I would be proud to see marry my sister.

  10. GHudston says:

    Amazing! What a brilliant (but late by two days…) birthday present! :D

  11. Menthol says:

    Time to put on my robe and wizard hat

  12. Spacewalk says:

    You RPS fellers sure are on fire today.

  13. theunshaven says:

    Aaand there’s an update on the forums that there won’t be a preorder as such, but instead people who order in the first week of release will get an early-bird bonus.

    link to forum.paradoxplaza.com!

  14. I3LiP says:

    There’s actually a (pre)release trailer that has already come out;

    • DuckSauce says:

      “I sense a great disturbance in my town! Take the helm!”
      Now what’s that hinting at? xD

  15. DOLBYdigital says:

    Does anyone know if this has or is planning to have mod support. I really love everything about this game and will probably get it either way. However, it will probably not be long enough and I would love to see what some modders could do with this game and the spell system. Also just having more custom levels to plow through is always a good idea. Anyone know off the top of their head?
    Thanks (I’ll do some google searching too)

  16. Cronstintein says:

    I love the sense of humor they’ve shown so far, I hope it’s in the game and not just the trailer :)

    I don’t think my awful integrated graphics card on this POS laptop is going to run it though :(

    Too bad they don’t have an XBL version, it looks like the type of game that might work there.

  17. Xercies says:

    Are you going to release this baby on Steam?

    • Droniac says:

      It’s listed under “Coming Soon” on Steam now, so I’m guessing that’s a yes.

      Strangely Steam seems to have a different opinion on when the game should be released though. It’s set to unlock on January 26th. And pre-orders are not available.

  18. RegisteredUser says:

    Wow!
    That means in just 6-12 months / 3-6 patch cycles it will be playable with a bearable amount of bugs!

    Haw yea, go Paradox!

  19. mda says:

    Looks great, love the humour :D

  20. ScubaMonster says:

    Looks pretty good, though I’m not sure if I’m a fan of wizards only. Hopefully you can specialize down different paths at least. Although it does make it fairly unique with the humor and wizards only aspect.