A Little Help Here: Tiny Barbarian

I want a platformer where whenever your character jumps they scream like a female tennis player.

There are so many excellent freeware indie games out there. How can we possibly post them all? The answer: We post them one at a time, lad. One at a time.

Tiny Barbarian is a short, tricky platformer inspired by Conan story The Frost Giant’s Daughter. I’ve actually read the comic, but I’m a little shocked to now discover that it was originally published in 1932, back when Hitler was simply a presidential candidate and Rock Paper Shotgun was a mere fraction of the size it is today (a coincidence, I assure you). Anyway, Tiny Barbarian is good. Go play! There are 9 hidden diamonds to collect and developer StarQuail’s posted a guide to the boss in a completely awesome 90s videogame magzine style. Top marks.


  1. Mungrul says:

    Heh, one of the first books I read all by myself was Conan of Cimmeria, which opened with The Frost Giant’s Daughter, and had a fantastic cover illustrating Conan fighting the two giants. Conan has been a literary constant in my life ever since.
    The Dark Horse graphic novel is a pretty damn faithful interpretation; that whole run is pretty cool actually. I take it that’s the one you read Quintin?

  2. wisnoskij says:

    Personally I did not like those hints, but they were done is a very nice style. So I created my own, as part of my review of the game.

    Check it out here.

  3. BooleanBob says:

    This is par-boiled by the Dawn of Time guy, right? That deserves a little love for its time-travelling dinosaurs alone (it has, of course, many other fine qualities besides).

    • pongopongo says:

      I knew I remembered the concept from somewhere. I must have read it in one of his blog posts :)

  4. Coriform says:

    That was fun-ish. Reminded me of the b-games from the NES era.

  5. fuggles says:

    Didn’t enjoy that – it was a bit too fiddly and I didn’t really get why sometimes zombies died with 1 point and came back and other times 50pts and died flat out. Gave up on the boss as I just wasn’t interested by that point. Sound effects were amazinly annoying too. All in – not my thing.

  6. Axez D. Nyde says:

    Good old times!

    NES era that is, not 1932. Greetings from Germany anyway.

  7. Malawi Frontier Guard says:

    There is a new ring in hell reserved for game designers who make games easier when you die.
    You just get put back to the beginning of the stage with full health as if nothing happened, enemies and all still dead, blocks still destroyed. This is stupid.

  8. Brumisator says:

    Is this inspired by that dude from scientology?

    Oh wait, wrong Hubbard.

    • Chunga says:

      If by Hubbard, you mean L Ron Hubbard, then he wrote a lot of sci-fi stories under various pen-names (looked at wikipedia) and yes, it is the same guy who figured out Dianetics and Scientology.

      I’ve been meaning to read Howards’ Conan a long time. About time to do that, I think.

    • Phasma Felis says:

      “Figured out.”

      Uh huh.

  9. trjp says:

    One of the few upsides to Age of Conan is that it got me into reading the Conan books – which are astonishingly good (and a better place for your cash than AOC, frankly).

    I’ve not resorted to ‘comics’ (I know, I know) as yet tho :)

    • Mungrul says:

      Solomon Kane is pretty damn good too.
      Howard was an incredibly under-rated writer, and as far as I’m concerned, you’ll be hard pushed to find a better author of classic swords and sorcery heroic fantasy.
      Also, if you look around, he was a correspondent of H. P. Lovecraft and actually wrote some Cthulhu mythos shorts.
      And the Sailor Steve Costigan boxing stories are pretty great too; very visceral, with a deft comic turn and a disarming first-person style.
      All this and tragically dead by 30.

  10. Balm says:

    Six health points is way to much, and why the hell chicken restores more then one point and not guarded by some trolls to take that point off?

  11. Alexander Norris says:

    I am glad Quinns has finally come clean about Hitler’s patronage of RPS and its involvement with Nazi gold.

    • JFS says:

      We all knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. You can’t run from your past.

  12. Chaz says:

    I read the complete Robert E. Howard collection of Conan a little while back, link to amazon.co.uk. Fantastic read, the stories have hardly aged a bit for saying they were mostly written in the 1930’s. Some of them have a very dark brooding Lovecraftian feel to them, which is hardly surprising as both Howard and Lovecraft wrote stories for the same magazine.

    Haven’t tried the comics/graphic novels, but I don’t really see how they can compete with the images conjured in my head by the written word anyway.

    • Bureaucrat says:

      I take “dark brooding Lovecraftian” in this context to mean “really really didn’t like people with dark skin.”

      (Seriously, there’s some good stuff in there, but it’s tough for me to read Lovecraft or Howard without being struck by the level of overt racism, even when viewed in the context of contemporaneous authors. They’re not for everyone.)

    • Chaz says:

      Erm no I meant “dark brooding Lovecraftian” in the sense that some of the settings were genuinely creeply places with the forboding sense of alien horrors lurking in the darkness and other dimensions.

      I personally never got the sense of anything overtly racist in there, it certainly never came across to me in that way. But when I read stuff like that I take it at its face value, i.e. fantasy stories about made up civilisations and just enjoy them for the ripping yarns they are, rather try to read between the lines too much.

    • Baf says:

      An acquaintance of mine, who was more familiar with Lovecraft than with Howard, once had the idea to write some Conan/Cthulhu Mythos crossover fic. He thought it would be clever, working together these two disparate visions of Earth’s forgotten past. So as a first step, he sat down and read a few Conan stories and realized that they already were more or less Cthulhu Mythos stories.

    • Phasma Felis says:

      Yeah, you don’t have to “read between the lines” to find Howard’s racism. Ever read “Vale of the Lost Women?”

      I am Conan, a Cimmerian, and I live by the sword’s edge. But I am not such a dog as to leave a white woman in the clutches of a black man!

  13. sbs says:

    still can’t beat the single giant, don’t know how to come near him let laone deal enough damage without dying first

  14. Chunga says:

    Well, I am no twitch gamer, that’s for sure! Got to the third screen (Room 2) with the bl**dy rope and I can’t figure out how to climb it or get onto to it. It seems like I have to jump and in midjump time it with the slashing movement?

    EDIT: Mr Naff Gamer eventually found out by reading the instructions and thinking a bit. Note to self: there are four arrow keys on a keyboard.

  15. sieni says:

    Nice little play-through. Way too short, but enjoyed the concept a lot!

  16. Carra says:

    Howards books aren’t comics. Got the collected tales and they’re still a good read, even 80 years after they’ve been written.