Bare Bones: Surgery Simulator Out 25th Feb

Excalibur Publishing are diversifying a bit from their line of transport and utility-vehicle simulators to bring us, uh, Surgery Simulator. The announcement blurb explains that that the game features the following operations – see if you can spot the odd one out: “Cataract, Varicose veins (varicosis), Gall bladder removal (laparoscopic cholecystectomy), Hernia (herniotomy), Treatment of a lower leg fracture, Tonsil removal (tonsillectomy), Appendix removal (appendectomy), Traffic accident.”

Hmm. Also of relevance: “Attention! This product is a computer game and not for training or tuition purposes!!! The product is NOT suitable for conveying specialist knowledge in medicine or surgery.” Aww.


  1. Gundato says:

    I remember playing a surgery game on my old XP rig way back when. I got SO many points off due to malpractice.

  2. Quintin Smith says:

    “What are we doing today, doctor?”
    “Traffic accident.”
    “OK. I’ll bring around your Ford Mondeo.”

    • Brumisator says:

      -Actually, we call them traffic collisions.
      -Why can’t we say “accident,” again?
      -Because “accident” implies there’s nobody to blame.

    • UncleSmoothie says:

      I need you to make a tincture of Ford Mondeo.

    • The_B says:

      I tell you what, performing heart surgery on a car would be no mean Fiat. But to see a car with a heart? Well, that’d be the Daewoo. I just hope I can aFord this title.

    • mrpier says:

      I can do traffic accidents in my sleep.

    • Martha Stuart says:

      I need 20,000 CCs of gasoline STAT!!!! This guy is red lining on me!!!!!

  3. Nero says:

    What, no boob jobs? :(

    • Martha Stuart says:

      Dear god, just imagine what we could do with this game if they ever released an SDK!!!

  4. Lambchops says:

    I’m pretty sure i don’t need a simulator to recreate a traffic accident!

  5. MtotheThird says:

    oh my. This looks super fun. RPS Review? :)

    One of my absolute FAVORITE games when I was a kid was Life & Death. The fun part was that they didn’t really teach you how to perform the surgery before plopping you in a room with a patient, so you had to learn by trial and error. :D

    Seriously though, the neat part of that game was that it also featured diagnosis and followup. So you might wind up misdiagnosing a patient, start the operation — only to discover a perfectly healthy appendix and a massive malpractice lawsuit.

    • RLacey says:

      I remember playing that.

      The medical student part of me is tempted to give this a go. If only to see what “Traffic accident” involves…

    • djbriandamage says:

      This series was equally fun to succeed at as it was to fail. I have wonderful memories of attending virtual classes, delivering diagnoses (“Alice!”), signing my name on charts, signing my name on a patient’s thorax with my scalpel…

      I’d hoped to get the same kick from.. whatever that anime surgery game on the Wii was.. but was sorely disappointed. I hope Surgery Simulator is as respectful of the subject matter as is deserved.

    • Werthead says:

      I remember that on the Amiga. The game actually came with latex gloves and a face mask, for that added air of authenticity. Or for making your parents think you’d gone completely mental.

    • apa says:

      I was pretty good in L&D2 with subdural hematomas or something like it. We used to time how fast we’d get to the skull drilling part. My L&D 1 had only CGA graphics so it was a bit challenging to make out what’s what :D

      I like the fact that a surgery “simulator” was called Life & DEATH :D

  6. harmen says:

    Dr Bibber?

  7. Koozer says:

    I hope the organs and bodily fluids start flying when it all goes inevitably pear-shaped mid-procedure. ragdoll physics for the lungs please!

    • noom says:

      I would like to see some procedurally generated organs. I imagine playing the game in the same “level” every time would get dull.

  8. Linfosoma says:

    Can I play as a psychopath that performs experiments on his patients? That would rock.

  9. Ian says:

    That green ninja looks petrified.

  10. Gepetto says:

    I can just imagine the Daily Mail headlines when they get a hold of this:


    Seriously, though, this does look *potentially* fantastic.

  11. pipman3000 says:

    i will buy this and spend all week committing malpractice then i’ll shelve it and never play it again.

  12. Mr_Hands says:

    I think I’m going to wait for Surgery Simulator Extremes.

  13. BobbleHat says:

    If you could build your own Monster out of the amputated and dissected parts then I’d be sold.

  14. The_B says:

    Jim! You’re not supposed to TELL Quintin it can’t really be used for real surgery. Just go right ahead and tell him everything’s fine when you try and graft on that robot appendage.

  15. Jimbo says:

    So this is just a blatant rip-off of Operation?

  16. Cooper says:

    What. No paperwork and admin tasks that clinicians have to increasingly do as ‘excess’ administrative staff are cut? No extra time increasingly spent having managerial decisions forced upon them when they would rather just get on with their clinical work?


  17. Optimaximal says:

    “OPERATION!!! You’re the doctor, it’s so much fun to play!”

  18. idiotapocs says:

    Reading this, came to my mind the sweet(cursed) memory of Robinson’s Requiem, where you could amputate your injured limbs. Yeah, and you caught cold in the rain. How cool that would be in Mass Effect? :)

  19. Oak says:

    All right! Now I can stop practicing on the cat.

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    Hodge says:

    I like that the nurse looks to be absolutely horrified by what’s being done to the patient.

  21. Chunga says:

    Can you do stealth operations in this game?

    • The_B says:

      That’s why surgeons wear masks, y’see. They’re the secret cabal of ninjas who exclusively dress in blue in order to hide from their black-clothed brethren. The war between the two factions has raged for centuries.

    • Chunga says:

      Wow. Let’s hope I’ll never need an operation! Ninja wars – oh no, not an option. Bet they all have sharp kni- scalpels and know how to use them double-handed.

  22. Tetragrammaton says:

    “Age Rating: 7, Fear Warning”
    Ominous, we can only hope this isn’t some sinister training tool for a new generation of Harold Shipmans….

    • Navagon says:

      If the blurb is anything to go by then there is no “giving a lethal overdose to the elderly” option.

      What a shame.

  23. Navagon says:

    Adding my weight to the demand for a Wot I Think on this one. It may prove even better than the farming simulator with all those poor drivers set up to their neck in concrete.

  24. Hatsworth says:

    I just want a wholly unrealistic, yet fast paced and hard as nails Trauma Center clone. Something tells me this isn’t it.

  25. Chunga says:

    Could prove to be a hack’n’slash classic.

  26. laikapants says:

    Now this has me wanting GoG to get on the acquisition of the Life & Death series. I performed so many unnecessary procedures (namely poking people in the eye when they had a headache).

  27. Eukatheude says:

    I’ve been waiting for something like Trauma Center on my pc: exploding pustules AND stupid mangalike storytelling, all in one game! Wooooo!

    EDIT: Also, check out the cover: link to
    That just makes you want to play it, doesn’t it?

  28. Maxheadroom says:

    Reminds me of this from my Amiga days link to

    Never had the patience (ho ho?) to play it properly, I’d always just slice them open from neck to navel and fill him full of cotton swabs. Good job games dont make you violent eh? :-)