Tanks For Nothing: World Of Tanks Tutorials

Tanks: like more effectively designed Daleks.

I could lie to you. I could claim that I’m posting the four tutorial trailers for World Of Tanks because I decided it was about time we updated you on the state of the game (still in open beta – you can sign up here in the US, here in the EU, and here in RU). I could claim that the tutorial video run is now complete, but I don’t know if there’s a part five to come. But I never want to lie to you. I’m posting this because I thought of the headline pun for the free-to-play tank-based MMO last night, and realised I was compelled to use it. Sure, I could have saved it up and given it to Jim for when the game is officially launched. But no, I wanted it, and I wanted it NOW. So there’s the four tutorial videos below.


  1. Telke says:

    I think that title tanked.

  2. President Weasel says:

    Might I suggest “Tanks for the Memory” for when you come to do a retrospective?

    • McDan says:

      They really should, excellent thinking there. But when it comes out what tank based pun will Jim use now John! What a shame.

    • Sarlix says:

      What a sherman…

      Making tracks: World of Tanks reviewed

      Wot I think of WoT

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      Wot I tank?

  3. frozenbyte says:

    I tank I could have come up with a better title.

    • Peter Radiator Full Pig says:

      Sherman, of course you could.
      Why dont you tell us some, and keep us on track?

    • Torgen says:

      It would take a Priest to save this thread. Good Luchs with that.

    • Scandalon says:

      I just hope the expansion pack is titled “World of You’re Welcome.”

  4. Anonymous Coward says:

    I like the idea of the game but im not interested in tanks. but i’d play a game like this if it featured combat droids in the style of the first two mech warrior games. anyone know of such a game?

    also is there any infantry in this game? im not asking if you can controll infantry and other units like planes but are they in the game at all? a ww2 battle with only tanks fighting each other seems a little odd (and maybe boring). In other wargames where you could drive a tank, an enemy hidden in a house shooting rpg’s at you always seemed like a great threat to your vehicle….

    • WJonathan says:

      I’ve been reading some of your posts. They’re really great. They are supposed to be funny, right?

  5. Stuart Walton says:

    You need to tread lightly with these puns, or I may rant as if I have turrets.

    I’ve been playing WoT a fair bit but I still learned stuff I’d missed from these vids.

    • Madlukelcm says:

      Are you sure you meant turrets, that might get dangerous. :p

  6. dragon says:

    Can I get hats through random drops, or do I have to craft them?

  7. DarkFenix says:

    Still a service posting these tutorials regardless of motive, because fuck me most people still suck royally at the game. You’d think as people progressed higher and higher up the tiers they’d learn, but apparently not in most cases (seeing a tier 10 making rookie mistakes I’ve not made since tier 3 is frankly depressing).

  8. Madlukelcm says:

    I remember playing a few tank games on ye old Playstation 1 which I absolutely loved. Being able to blow other people to smitherines could be even more awesome.

  9. cupogoodness says:

    Bonus points if the title is directly quoting the less attractive female interest in Caddyshack, just standard points otherwise.

  10. Koozer says:

    Please just release the bloody thing, I’ve lost the will to play knowing everything will be for naught come release.

    • Josh Brandt says:

      Pfft. I’m using the time to explore all kinds of stuff I am not necessarily into because gold is free (if limited) and I know my crappy stats from playing with crap tanks will be nuked in a few weeks. Don’t think of it as discouragement– think of it as freedom!

  11. Skusey says:

    If they ever make World of Planes, try using Planes to See for the title for the tutorial videos.

  12. westyfield says:

    Daleks can fly: discuss.

  13. wrath says:

    I always thought this game was silly.

    The tank combat in Men of War always seemed a million times more advanced, and Red Orchestra: Hereos of Stalingrad looks set to blow this out of the water. Not to mention the absolute grind and beating you have to take in the early game just to get anywhere.

    Also I’m quite concerned that the heavier German and Russian tanks, with their sloped armor and the Tank Destroyer class wouldn’t be broken as all hell in the late game. A lot of WW2 era tanks weren’t specifically designed to be particularly effective in tank to tank combat, or were engineered to be reliably mass produced at the sacrifice of quality (i.e. Sherman vs Tiger/Panther.) Keep in mind that there are no infantry or anti-tank guns to balance it out. (Who the hell sends a big, loud and noisy tank out to scout anyway?)

    Basiccally what I’m saying is that the fantasy football esque minigame inbetween the action doesn’t seem compelling enough to sell me on an otherwise highly limited and mediocre FPS (with auto aim as a feature no less). Wake me up when Red Orchestra comes out yeah?

    I tank this game will tank(?).