Your Tuesday Night Stupid: Toast

I'm really quite indifferent to toast.

I have no idea what to make of this, other than happiness. With confusion. Someone has taken Heywood Banks‘ song Toast, clearly performed live on an American radio programme, and animated it in TF2, and stuck it on It’s a year old, millions of people have already watched it. It’s old. Thing is, it’s funny. Thus: post.

It’s the head movements that really do it for me. A great deal of the timing here is excellent. I’ve no real idea what’s going on with the in-studio laughter. It sounds as though it’s been remixed into the track – I know that the standard format for such shows (in this case nationally syndicated The Bob & Tom Show) is for the hosts to reassure their listeners they’ve not gone anywhere by hooting and guffawing as loudly as is humanly possible throughout. But here it is surely exaggerated. Anyhow:

Big thanks to JT for the tip.


  1. The Army of None says:


    • Wozzle says:

      My god. First my guild, then my Facebook, and now here. There is no escaping you, Army.

    • The Army of None says:

      I am as omnipresent as Horace the Endless Bear

    • Dhatz says:

      what the frak is horace endless bear?

    • The Army of None says:

      He’s a bear! That’s endless! What more do you need? Are you suggesting… The Horace Heresy?

      Still here? Fine. link to was the first instance I encountered Horace, but as he is endless, I’m sure he was around before this.

    • simonh says:

      Lunch included the inevitable portion of Mocking John for Being a Christian. This is all done within the realms of friendly banter… I tell myself. I am an object of curiosity, for that at least. Anyway, this lead on to Jim’s formation of an entirely new religion and deity, Horace the Endless Bear. In an act that may possibly conflict with my current faith, I have found myself pledging, in the event of surviving a nuclear holocaust, to promote this religion alone to the few that still live.

      John walker. May 19th 2004

  2. omicron1 says:

    I remember this!

    ,…from about two years ago…

    It’s changed a bit, though – sort of a “remastered” version of the original bit.

  3. kregg says:

    I saw this video and I JIZZED IN MY PANTS.

    What a shame.

    • Squirrelfanatic says:

      Dear Sir, the correct term for such an event around here is “I found a bag of Milky Ways”. Please consider adapting your language to the local characteristics.

    • McDan says:

      I am dissapoint in you kregg. More people need to realise the joy in finding a bag of milky ways.

    • Madlukelcm says:

      Why Milky Ways?! Explain yerself!

    • VelvetFistIronGlove says:

      @Squirrelfanatic I fear I must correct you. Finding a bag of milky ways refers to shitting your pants, not jizzing in them.

  4. Seniath says:

    I sing this to myself whenever I make toast.
    And, equally, whenever I hear this I want to make toast. But right now I have no bread. DAMN YOU WALKER.

  5. Kaira- says:

    Man, I had already forgotten this video exists. Oh well.

    Also, if I’m not mistaken, this song is originally by Heywood Banks.
    Edit: Stupid me for not reading the actual text.

  6. Marshall Stele says:

    Yeah Toast is one of the greatest songs of all time.


    Dissent will not be tolerated.

  7. ReV_VAdAUL says:

    Bah you’ll feature this but not the true work of art that is Gaben Stan:

    • dsi1 says:

      Whoa whoa whoa, when did /v/ get off its ass and do something?

      That needs a news story!

    • BooleanBob says:

      Sweet mercy, that’s incredible.

  8. toastmodernist says:


  9. DrugCrazed says:

    Bob & Tom are a pain sometimes. The Da Vinci Notebook/Paul & Storm vids with them have them laughing throughout and you’ll miss the clever wordplay that Paul and Storm do so well.

  10. ChampionHyena says:

    Aw, man. Bob & Tom are local to my town, and I have warm recollections of this song when Heywood Banks first did it.

    • Jhoosier says:

      Yay! Fellow Hoosier RPSers!

      Can’t say Bob & Tom are my favorite comedy duo, some of their schtick wore off when I was 12. However, “Toast” is a masterpiece that can never be replicated. I still remember where each of the giggle fits come in on that song.

      Wow, “Toast” and TF2. I’m happy now.

  11. Masem says:

    Also coming to RBN2.0 in the near future.

  12. Daniel Klein says:

    I love the bizarre underworld of Team Fortress 2 videos and the rich fauna of memes living in it. From Painis Cupcake to the You’re making me X videos to the Vagineer. There is so much bizarre surreal stuff to get lost in.

    • FRIENDLYUNIT says:

      Wow those are great – I knew it was a genre unto itself but hadn’t seen those.

      But yeah. This toast thing is as old as teh hills.

    • Davie says:

      It’s a bit mindblowing, isn’t it? There are probably thousands of those videos, and every last goddamn one of them is batshit insane. This is my personal favorite.

    • FRIENDLYUNIT says:

      I have a confession. I watched a heap of Painis Cupcake videos then played some TF2 until late then had nightmares.

  13. Jason Moyer says:

    Heywood Banks performance on one of those 80’s HBO Young Comedians specials was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Didn’t realize so many people knew this song.

  14. Gabe McGrath says:

    (quote from John W)
    “I know that the standard format for such shows is for the hosts to reassure their listeners they’ve not gone anywhere by hooting and guffawing as loudly as is humanly possible throughout.”

    I know nothing about the radio show in question – I don’t live in the USA.

    But here in Australia, we have the same thing on TV ‘current affairs’ shows (which are all about AMAZING DIETS, DODGY BUILDERS and NEIGHBOURLY DISPUTES). If they actually manage to interview somebody, they constantly cut the vision away from the guest, and back to the interviewer “nodding”. Despite that person being less interesting/talented than the guest, it’s done to “show they’re there” every 2 seconds.

    Stupid, relentless laughing over a guest comedy track like ‘toast’ performs the same function.

    • dadioflex says:

      That’s also how you get an intern to conduct your interview with whoever and then edit it afterwards to make it look like the “celeb” was on-site doing it.

      This toast song? No idea why people like it. Humour is a funny thing. Some people like Friday Night Dinner. Honest to God.

  15. Dominic White says:

    My favourite bit of TF2-related stupidity/funny lately was Heavy’s Birthday:

    link to

    Featuring the best use of Saxton Hale in an unofficial machinima!

    • saturnine says:

      That was simply exquisite, one of the best TF2 machinimas (machinimae?) that I’ve seen so far, up there with Painis Cupcake and Christian Brutal Sniper. Thanks!

  16. geldonyetich says:

    Yes, indeed, quite ancient, but still awesome.

    One thing that surprised me about this video is how much of a one-hit wonder “Radioactive Caffeine” turned out to be. The only other thing in their channel is a rather poor Assassin’s Creed video. They haven’t even been on YouTube in 4 months.

    I’m guessing this whole thing was a guy screwing around with Gary’s Mod and just happening to have the perfect sound file around for it. For all the apparent painstaking effort that went into perfecting that video, it bears all the post-release earmarks of a work of incredible serendipity.

  17. x25killa says:

    Gosh darnit, I want some toast now.

  18. Nesetalis says:

    sadly, that guffawing and laughter is standard for all of those goofy morning radio shows :| and i hate it to no end.. half the time i cant hear what is so funny over their fucking monkey hooting.

    however, haywood banks is hilarious none the less :p

  19. Crescend says:

    How appropriate, I just made myself toasts and omelette before coming here to read the news while eating :D

  20. Angryinternetman says:

    When I first saw this, I made toast for a week. And I dont generally even eat bread. AND I DID SING THIS SONG WHILE TOASTING.
    Yeah… toast ._.

  21. Grubblik says:

    Good stuff, I must admit though I was expecting this as the soundtrack

    • MiniMatt says:

      Was also expecting the Streetband version, as I was rubbing my eggy soldier in my head. Still, chuckles were indeed had, no harm no foul.

  22. Chaz says:

    Didn’t Paul Young do a song called Toast? I’m guessing these aren’t related.

  23. Memph says:

    I must be missing something here, ‘cos that was just plain bloody awful :(

  24. cytokindness says:

    The single best TF2 video is probably “Hot Girl Backstabbing”:

    Closely followed by much of EvilDaedalus’s work:
    link to
    (I’d recommend link to and link to to start with)

    Forgot about Team ROOMBA’s vids, these are great

    link to

  25. Koozer says:

    Aw, I was hoping it was this.

  26. vimster says:

    Anyone mentioned Law-abiding Engineer yet? – link to

  27. V. Profane says:

    I thought it was going to be this song: link to

  28. Carda39 says:

    For what it’s worth, the reason all that laughter is in there is because the song was recorded live in the same studio as the show’s hosts. Heywood Banks has done that several times (Wiper Blades and 18 Wheels on a Big Rig are also worth looking up, if you’re interested) and the hosts will occasionally participate in the song itself. It’s not canned laughter.