Presenting The CCP Chessboxing Rumble

RPS should take up chessboxing. Or perhaps RUSEwrestling.

Next week will see many hundreds of Eve Online pilots flocking to Iceland for the Eve Fanfest, which will feature drinking, lectures, tournaments, more drinking even more and – I’m thrilled to announce – a Chessboxing match.

Yes, 3D artists Björn “Left Rook” Jónsson and Daniel “Pretty Boy” Þórðarson are going to engage in that most noble of sports, which basically amounts to alternating 4 minute rounds of chess with 3 minute rounds of boxing. The promotional video they’ve put together for the match is quotable, eminently deadpan stuff. I can’t quite get over the following: “It would be a devastating tradgedy for this extremely ancient man to immediately fall down.”

It’s even more exciting for me because I’ll be attending the fanfest, and if there’s any way I can put money on this match you’d better believe Þórðarson’s getting my dollar. What do you reckon, readers?

46 Comments

  1. Jad says:

    I remember reading about chess boxing years ago, and the concept just makes me happy. The world would be a better place if there was more hilarious absurdity everywhere.

    • Quintin Smith says:

      What makes /me/ happy is that if you read that Wikipedia page, you find it was originally invented for a comic book.

    • karry says:

      Eh, chessboxing is kind of a retarded idea. No matter what – its clear that it is much easier and faster to beat someone up, than win by a checkmate. Well, unless the only ones competing are actual chess grandmasters. I’d like to see them keep keep their chess titles while fighting off brain hemorrages, blindness, and tremors.

      Something like the game in Sliders would work much better – a team sport of basketball mixed with quiz.

    • Kryopsis says:

      Enki Bilal is a visionary.

    • Bret says:

      Well, if we’re going to be discussing fictional violence brain game hybrids, there was a good one in Judge Dredd. Block Out.

      But Chess Boxing is cool. Definitely beats the sport in Sliders.

    • Jad says:

      @karry

      Well, I’m no expert on chessboxing, but that Wikipedia page has a summary of the past couple of world championships and it appears that the majority of them were won in the chess rounds, not the boxing ring.

    • Melipone says:

      I think actually most of the wins on chess were done on time, not checkmate.

    • mandrill says:

      You can checkmate someone in 5 moves IIRC, if they are terminally stupid and not paying attention that is.

    • MadMatty says:

      Quentin do yourself a favour and get that Comic book, just the first in the series will do- its by Enki Bilal, and the title is Immortal something i think- its been made into a PC game aswell, albeit i heard it wasnt the greatest.

  2. patricij says:

    I find your lack of tagging disturbing…

  3. tstapp1026 says:

    Left Rook wins by chest hair.

  4. zbillyboob says:

    RUSEjellywrestling you mean

  5. Hoaxfish says:

    CCP upgraded the chessboard. It can now handle up to 10,000 pieces moving simultaneously. However, over half the white pieces have switched to black in a political move designed steal extra squares on the board. The black white was locked by over 500 bishops meaning it was out of the match early.

    • President Weasel says:

      Unfortunately while you can have 10,000 pieces on the board, it does mean that individual moves can take up to 15 minutes to complete, and sometimes they rubberband back again afterwards. CCP claim the logs show nothing, but recommend you only touch the piece once rather than repeatedly trying to move it.
      However CCP are still rightly proud of the fact that over 20,000 people can play chess against each other on the same distributed board.

    • xfxian says:

      I see what you did there…

    • Flakfizer says:

      It’s all fun and games ’till a bunch of pawns suicide gank your Queen :/

  6. Spinoza says:

    I admire Pain’s conscience.

  7. Javier-de-Ass says:

    fantastic video

  8. BAshment says:

    Can you mix the rounds half way.

  9. Devenger says:

    Wonderfully, the chess grandmaster teaching Daniel appears to be pressing a button purchasable at Staples labelled ‘easy’, that normally plays a sound clip saying ‘That was easy!’ when pushed. Truly, the replacement of the sound byte with electric shock treatment is the highest form of innovation.

  10. corbain says:

    There is a BIG chessboxing night in london on the 26th March if anyone is interested

    link to londonchessboxing.com

    i’ve been to a few of their events, and they are fantastic fun. The boxing is brutal and the chess is played with some skill. The players wear headphones with music to block out the audience, and there is usually a very deadpan yet enlightening commentary from IM Malcom Pein. The moves are projected onto a big screen.

    An excellent night out.

  11. Tannhauser says:

    Enki Bilal, what would we have done without you?

    If you read Heavy Metal in the eighties, you might have come across his work.

  12. mandrill says:

    Hey Quinns, when do you hit Reykjavik? There’s a little pre-Fanfest get together I’m organising on Wednesday evening, ostensibly for those who partake in the #tweetfleet on twitter, but all are welcome to come along for chat and beer. Details here (link)

    • Quintin Smith says:

      11:30pm on Wednesday. :(

      Who knows, though! Maybe you guys will still be going by then, my hotel will be close and I’ll stop by.

    • mandrill says:

      oh yeah we will definitely still be on the go probably, although we may have moved on (depends on how many turn up and whether the Celtic can handle us all :D)

    • Quintin Smith says:

      Cool. I’ll monitor your twitter feed.

    • mandrill says:

      You’d be better off monitoring the #tweetfleet and #tweetfleetmeet hashtags as I don’t have a smartphone (but others there will have) :D

  13. PleasingFungus says:

    “Bjorn considers modesty one of his strong points.”

    This video is amazing.

  14. Chaz says:

    Isn’t that Scotish historian Neil Oliver on the left?

  15. Jae Armstrong says:

    So this is what they’re doing instead of fixing blasters.

    (do ho ho ho)

  16. Shadram says:

    I didn’t read the words at first, just looked at the picture, and thought that Alec and Quinns had come to blows.

  17. Schmung says:

    This is wonderful. Nice once CCP

  18. whitebrice says:

    Björn “Left Rook” Jónsson would be wise to implement toad style if he hopes to win.

    If I were he, I’d ask RZA to train me:
    *Lyrics NSFW*

  19. KFJ says:

    I visited CCP to do some interviews with the staff there once, I got to interview Hilmar Veigar, the CEO, a programmer and a concept artist. It was a really awesome experience. The employees were friendly and the humor was just excellent in general. In Hilmar’s office he had:
    About 3 swords
    Quite a bit of EVE online branded liquor
    A shelf full of folders containing EVE online CD-Keys.
    It was like a mecca for me, the Icelandic guy who’d dreamed of becoming a programmer for most of his life.
    I can’t wait to finish college and try for a job there.

    Addendum:

    When referencing Icelandic devs, it’s better to use their first names – In Iceland, we don’t have formalities like using the last name, or even adding “Sir” in front of names. I can call the president Ólafur if I want to, even! :)

  20. Gabbo says:

    So how much money do I have to give CCP to make a game out of chessboxing?
    Also, please tell me there will be footage of this afterwards or streamed live, as that promo was hilarious.

    • ChromeBallz says:

      Probably included in Incarna and WoD :>

      And probably Dust aswell i’m thinking. They’ll fit it in somehow.

    • Gabbo says:

      I was hoping it could exist outside of EveOnline if possible.

  21. Farsearcher says:

    Why is Kieron electrocuting that man?

  22. andrewdoull says:

    The only problem with Chess boxing is it doesn’t test your creative abilities enough, which is why I always recommend Freestyle chess boxing, which has a 2 minute freestyle rapping component prior to the Chess round.

    In a similar vein:
    Go UFC poetry slam
    Haiku baccarat judo
    RoPaS KiBo NaNoWriMo

  23. mod the world says:

    So why isn’t RPS doing a chess boxing tournament?

  24. ColOfNature says:

    PongJousting