A Date With A Space Marine

Nobody ever thinks about the friends and family of a Madboy

Do Space Marines go on dates? “You have the most gorgeous geneseed.” “If I said you have a beautiful flamer, would you let me burn the heretic with it?” “In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium there is only war, and your eyes.”

Anyway! Relic’s upcoming orkshooter Space Marine has finally been granted something like a release date. It’s been on the horizon for about 40,000 years already, but now all of a sudden it’s turning up in August. This August, that is. So just five months until the Ultramarine’s Captain Titus sticks his Power Fist into the maw of various non-human scum (which were earlier this week confirmed to include the forces of Chaos). 2011 sure is a busy year for expensive-looking video games.

Space Marine trailer (albeit an old one) below to aid with your remembrance.

I AM VERY MACHO. Also, that music so wants to segue into the Requiem for a Dream soundtrack.


  1. GT3000 says:

    I am…Excited for this release.

  2. Stevostin says:

    Is that a FPS, or won’t I play it ?

  3. Jonathan says:

    Poor orks :(

  4. Bhazor says:

    Cuddles for the Cuddle God!

  5. Kirioth says:

    I need this game in my life. Even if it’s terrible, it’ll still be fun just because you can carve hordes of enemies to pieces with a chainsaw. Sorry, sorry, chainSWORD.

  6. Makariel says:

    “Baby, somebody better call the emperor, since he’s missing a blood angel!”

    • Bhazor says:

      Slaanesh must be missing one of his whores. Now move your big ass ’round this way so I can weld through that armour, baby,

  7. Inigo says:

    I’m still holding out for a Deff Skwadron flight sim.

  8. poop says:

    dont you love it when a year appears to have a nice healthy spacing of titles only to have everything get delayed or released in q3/4 anyway

    • Ultra Superior says:

      Xactly. I hate them delaying people.

      DEUS EX – love of my life

      SPACE MARINE – love of my life

      and now these bitches wanna be dated at the same time !!!!

  9. Calchas says:

    “For 200 years i have served the imperium”
    Where are his service studs? Shouldnt he have 2 in his brow?

    • Inigo says:

      Keep watching.

    • GT3000 says:

      Check the last 15 or so seconds when he gets all introspective.

    • Bhazor says:

      So that’s what those are… I kind of assumed they were just bullets wedged in his head and he’s too butch to care.

    • Cradok says:

      I was thinking that, and why he looked a bit too pretty to be a 200-year veteran.

    • Rond says:

      AFAIK there’s no imperium-wide standard on long service studs. Different chapters can give out long service studs for different service time, and maybe use several kinds of studs, varying in material and shape.

    • iniudan says:

      @Rond Yes, but this guy is an Ultramarine, they do everything by the book, and by that I mean the Codex Astartes, which was written by their Primarch. So deviation from standard space marine procedure for them is extremely rare, actually I would even say quite unique event.

    • Rond says:

      This Titus fella better watch out for the black ships then.

    • Rond says:

      Oh, by the way, he has the studs by the end of the video. Apparently when he says “For 200 years i have served the imperium” he hasn’t yet.

  10. Moni says:

    Is Ultra Marine the awesomest colour of them all?

  11. Sunjammer says:

    Somehow, making the primary antagonist the comic relief orks sort of makes the poignancy and weight of the subject a little naff.

    I love the Orks. But there best be some eldars mans and some chaos mans. Slaanesh motherfuckers be trippin’

    • drewski says:

      Poignancy? Weight? Think you’ve got the wrong universe.

    • TsunamiWombat says:

      Chaos has been announced as an enemy yes. Orks are there to show how badass a space marine is, scything through hundreds single handedly like it was a Dynasty Warriors game.

    • misterk says:

      Man I’d LOVE this to be like dynasty warriors, whole bunch of guard getting killed until you turn up, plunging through orks until you finally meet a squad of nobz or something worth killing.

    • kikito says:

      “… eldar mans …”

      Eldars are a women-only race. They reproduce by making love to trees.

    • Nick says:

      No they aren’t.

    • Starky says:

      Yes they are, they are namby pamby girly girls.

      Played by girly girls.

    • Highstorm says:

      I foresaw this comment thousands of years before your pathetic civilization even pondered the stars.

    • Temple to Tei says:

      And yet you did nothing about it

    • Selifator says:

      Because that comment will soon fight itself, we need only watch it’s suicidal rage.

  12. skyturnedred says:

    In this age of hundreds of games revolving around space marines, I love that they’re ballsy enough to just simply call it Space Marine.

    • Optimaximal says:

      I think Games Workshop actually has the trademark on ‘Space Marine’, which sort of helps…

    • Ultra Superior says:

      They were the firstest* and are the bestest.

      *they weren’t, but before them it was just starship troopers books and alien. Then Blizzard copystole their IP and produced warcraft-starcraft.

  13. Zephro says:

    How come they look so cartoony? :(

    Also Ultramarines? Really? Could you pick a blander protagonist?

    • Ultra Superior says:

      Marcus Phoenix, Nathan Drake, any Jedi that’s not from movies etc.

      Grow up.

    • Zephro says:

      All protagonists I can’t stand. But thanks for the patronising.

      I seem to remember 40K was set in a grim dark future where there was only war, not kaleidoscope cartoon characters done with basic crayon sets. Nostalgia I guess.

    • Inigo says:

      Go back and look at first and second edition Orks.
      Goofy as fuck.

    • Zephro says:

      True, though it was at least an actual joke. They had squig wigs and goff rockers and young orks were really organised as stormboyz. It was less bland anyway.

    • Ultra Superior says:

      There used to be a leaked video footage from the SPACE MARINE
      with grim gothic art direction – I can’t find it, but at least found some screenshots from it:

      link to games.tiscali.cz

    • bill says:

      The “grim dark” future of 40k has never been very grim or dark – that’s what comes of letting people paint their own figures.

      The orks and eldar were always super colorful.

    • Bhazor says:

      link to dragonrealm.com

      Fear the Hello Kitty army.

    • Ultra Superior says:

      Be proud of your color and glitter sister!

      Camouflage is the color of fear!

    • Stompywitch says:

      Wasn’t that shot from the other Space Marine game, which got subtly killed for Relic’s one?

    • Zephro says:

      Those pictures do look much better.

      Well 40K always had the hobby and the background a wee bit separate. As obviously like D&D once you hand over the tools to craft your own adventures/stories people will dick around.

      Anyway in my head 40K will always look like the black and white work of John Blanche or something more like HR Giger. Even if it is clearly gross caricature rather than amazing cutting edge art, he did more interesting things than just illustrating catalogues for miniatures.
      link to t3.gstatic.com
      link to images.dakkadakka.com
      link to dakkadakka.com
      link to wh40k.lexicanum.com

      And yes there was always a level of tongue in cheekness about it and dicking around, like Ork Goff Rockers. But it had some personality damn it!

    • SlayerCake says:

      I’m preeeeetty sure that 40K started out as a parody anyway.

    • Damien Stark says:

      I’ll see your link and raise you a link to onastick.net

  14. Kevin says:

    If Relic made a Devil May Cry-esque action game where you play as a Harlequin, then we’d be talking

    Plus, if the heroine was a Solitaire, you’d have an in-universe explanation as to why the protagonist is completely mute!

    • P4p3Rc1iP says:


    • Ultra Superior says:

      Hey People!

      Who wanna play a mute Eldar?

      “Me! Me! ….and Me!”

      And now people, who wanna play Space Marine?

      Me!Me!Me!Me!Me too!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me too!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me too!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me too!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me too!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me!Me too!Me!Me!…x40000000″

    • Stephen Roberts says:

      All I want to do is play an ork.

      Substitute play for be.

    • Starky says:

      Second the Ork – It would be bloody awesome to play a game where you are an Ork as the protagonist.

    • Kevin says:

      @Ultra Superior
      Not just any mute Eldar.
      A mute Eldar who has no soul (doomed to be “She-who-thrists'” plaything), can make Cirque du Soleil look like a band of uncoordinated, bumbling morons, uses weapons so horrific even the Dark Eldar would be shocked, and has the martial prowess to make even the Grey Knights shit their pants in fear.

  15. HermitUK says:

    Hope we hear some more about the Co-op and multiplayer stuff soon. Co-op especially.

  16. bascule42 says:

    I dont mean to be a stick in the mud, but if in 40,000 years time from now, the term “non human scum” is socially acceptable then that’s all fine and dandy. But here, just shortly after the dawn of the 21st Century, around brunch time of the 2100’s, the more enlightned of us set out to embrace all races and creeds. So, I say this to you Sir. Love the Ork, embrace the cultural diversity of Choas, get to know and understand better the way of the Tau, and try to get a date with that saucy looking chick from the Eldar.

    • iniudan says:

      You have been found lacking toward the Emperor of Mankind and guilty of complaisance with the Xenos.

      Repent now and you should be given the quick and painless embrace of the Emperor or purification by the flame will be your only salute.

    • Starky says:

      Com ere’ oomie and I will sho ya luv… Me squigs ‘il giv ya a nice cuddle.

  17. TheFlyingWooly says:

    After playing the Ork campaign in retribution there needs to be a game focused on the exploits of Kaptin Bluddflagg and his Freebooterz. Fartin about space, stompin poncy eldar an takin hats!

    Oh aye, I’m also looking forward to this.

    • Stompywitch says:

      Mob Forktres’.

      Actually, an Ork Elite-a-like would be tons of fun. You only need to trade in one commodity: Violence.

    • mcnostril says:

      This is not an idea.
      This is prophecy.


      I don’t need plot beyond looking for shiny bitz, fancy hats and stompin so long as everything is orky.

  18. JohnnyMaverik says:

    I hate this trailer, not completely sure why but it just gets to me. Game looks cool though.

  19. Teddy Leach says:


  20. Selifator says:

    Curious as to whether or not the bolters will actually sound as bolters should. I’d rather not be firing a submachine gun again.

    • Zombat says:

      If the trailers anything to go by the bolters sound like an MP40.

      Which is retarded, its a handheld rocket propelled grenade gun. It should sound like its firing rockets