Portal 2’s Cooperative Bots Investments

They're cooperating!

Further investment opportunities in Aperture Science have become available, in a second advert from the innovative corporation ahead of the release of their documentary video game Portal 2. This one offers a chance to invest in trustworthy robots.

Also, this one’s a lot funnier than the first one. Which is good news.


  1. Transfuse says:

    Oh Valve. Why do you tease us so?

  2. Longrat says:

    I used to root for atlas, but as time goes by, I start to like p-body more and more.

    • SuperNashwanPower says:

      Yeah man me too. I used to think he was a great guy. Then I hear he’s a drunk. And beats his kids.

  3. tomeoftom says:

    I know that voice actor! Urgghh. He was a… general? In some kind of movie?

    • Callum says:

      J.K. Simmons:

      link to imdb.com

    • tomeoftom says:

      Oh! Wow. And thanks.

    • Thirith says:

      We’ve been watching a lot of Oz lately, so I’m finding it difficult to see/hear J.K.Simmons and not think he’s a murderous though strangely affable white supremacist. Shudder.

    • Dominic White says:

      Well, he certainly has the ‘murderous though strangely affable’ thing going on here. And those robots look plenty white to me – notice that he fired the black stickmen?

    • westyfield says:

      He was the president in Red Alert 3.

    • FunkyBadger3 says:

      “Strangely affable”? You, sir, have a deeply odd value system.

    • Orvidos says:

      Find me a human being who doesn’t love the voice of J. K. Simmons and I will find you a baseball bat. Or something. (Seriously, I’ve gone from teetering on the brink to day-one perch because of him. I might be crazy.)

  4. Navagon says:

    How many Portal 2 trailers is that now?

  5. Tyheam says:

    Oh my god, the punchline is sooooo good!
    Wuv you Valve!

  6. Bodminzer says:

    Apture Sience!

  7. Zael says:

    Have Valve bought Pixar…or vice versa?

    • Man Raised by Puffins says:

      A couple of their animators are ex-Pixar (including Karen Prell, who has a rather fabulous CV).

    • Shakermaker says:

      Wow, that really is some resume. Even the Fraggles are on there!

    • Nick says:

      Wow! That person is my new hero.

    • Tssha says:

      Oh god she’s a part of my childhood.

    • bigtoeohno says:

      Fast fact: It’s Mr Apple himself Steve jobs who personally own Pixar, interestingly pixar only uses PC throughout their entire company

    • Delusibeta says:

      Used to. Pretty sure Jobs sold it wholesale to Disney.

    • Muzman says:

      What the heck? Karen Prell’s site is domain camped mere moments after I hear about it.

    • myca77 says:

      Yep Mr. Jobs sold Pixar to Disney for a massive amount of Disney shares, which never fails to amuse as Blu-Ray is a “Bag of Hurt” on the mac, and Disney have been pushing Blu-Ray like no one else, makes me cry as I love my Blu-Rays, but I know they’ll never work on my macs, and there is no way in hell I’m ever buying a movie of lesser quality through iTunes for more money than the Blu-Ray version.

      Also I cannot wait, PS3 version day one (I never buy games on release), then I’m gonna stick the box somewhere safe and play it on my Windows box :)

      All games should be truly cross platform.

  8. SuperNashwanPower says:

    Aww the little dance Robot #2 does at the end with her knees. I have decided that one is a girl and the short one is a boy. This video makes my wub cup floweth over.

    • skinlo says:

      Actually I believe thats the intention of Valve.

    • Wulf says:

      It’s funny how a different mind viewing something can make it completely… well, different. I never saw them that way at all, and still don’t (I have my own take), but I dig them both nonetheless.

      Go robots!

  9. kwyjibo says:

    Valve have packed more emotion into those two robots than exists in the rest of the games industry output. Something is wrong.

    I’m done here.

    • subedii says:

      It is surprising that Valve tend to pack more character into even their machines than entire other FPS’s often manage with their main characters over the course of a whole game.

      I mean when you meet D0G in HL2 he’s not just portrayed as an automaton, you can automatically see the relationship between him and Alyx, and that’s only reinforced as you see them interact more over the course of the series.

    • Wulf says:

      I said exactly the same thing at their last robot trailer. Exactly that! I’d even go on to say that one of those robots has more character in one of their lesser servos than the entire cast of Half-Life 2, Left 4 Dead, and Left 4 Dead 2 put together. Valve is learning!! Please don’t stop learning, Valve, and don’t ignore the lessons you’ve learned here.

      I’ll be picking this up almost entirely for the co-op, and I would buy a game with just these two robots alone. I think that even Valve recognises at this point that their major selling point with Portal 2 isn’t at all Chell any more, but rather those two little robots. And why not? I’m happy to see that we’re getting games now though with this level of charm, stuff like LEGO Star Wars: The Clone Wars (blimey that’s a long title), CreaVures, Jolly Rover, Magicka, and quite a bit more on the horizon, including Portal 2.

      The PC used to have loads of stuff like this, and then it all sort of died off when everyone got so serious and forgot how to enjoy this sort of thing, forgetting how to laugh, how to drop their jaw in awe and wonder, and how to succumb to endearing charm. That’s when it all sort of got a bit grey, and I’m not just talking about the colours, either. It’s like many gamers fell into a coma, and developers too, but more and more we’re beginning to realise that playing games like that all the time is a shallow, hollow experience.

      Sometimes it’s awesome to just have silly, adorable, endearing characters just for the fun of it.

    • FunkyBadger3 says:

      The robots have more empathy than the entire cast of Half-Life 2. Fact.

    • subedii says:

      Whilst the robots have character in the trailers however, they’re going to be human controlled in the game.

      Basically I don’t think you should expect much character from them in-game. To me this is like the TF2 films, a way of giving a greater texture to the characters involved and the setting in general.

      Ultimately they’re still going to be embodiments for the players, just like the TF2 and the Left 4 Dead characters. Although IIRC you will be able to hi-5 your robot team mate and possibly some other gestures, so that’s something.


      EDIT: I’m also going to disagree that the characters in Half-Life 2 were lacking in character, but I know you’re really vehement on that point so I’ll just leave it at that. :P

      EDIT 2: And seriously, what is a decent synonym for “character” in this context? Thesaurus.com isn’t giving me much to work with. I suppose “protagonist(s)” could be one if we’re talking about the individuals themselves, but when referencing their behavioural aspects and how people perceive and relate to them…

    • FunkyBadger3 says:


    • subedii says:

      That’ll work.

    • Jahkaivah says:

      “Whilst the robots have character in the trailers however, they’re going to be human controlled in the game.

      Basically I don’t think you should expect much character from them in-game. To me this is like the TF2 films, a way of giving a greater texture to the characters involved and the setting in general.

      Ultimately they’re still going to be embodiments for the players, just like the TF2 and the Left 4 Dead characters. Although IIRC you will be able to hi-5 your robot team mate and possibly some other gestures, so that’s something.”

      It also seems there might be a bit of personality in their death animations by the look of some of the screenshots.

      But none the less it is potential issue since Left 4 Dead and TF2 relied alot on dialogue and facial expressions for this to work which with these bots is going to be fairly limited in.

      Wulf, I’m sorry, I know you’re excited about Portal 2, alot of us are. And I agree these two look marvelous, but it is getting tiring seeing you post on every Portal 2 article about how you think the two best characters Valve and the rest of the industry have produced recently are found in a game you have not played yet.

  10. alice says:

    Am I odd in that I refuse to watch anything related to Portal 2 until after its release and I play it for myself? I know I am going to buy it, I assume it is going to be good so I feel why should I build up any unfair expectations early?

    • skinlo says:

      I can see your point of view, but there is nothing better than having high expectations, but having them met and even exceeded, something that if any developer can do, it will be Valve.

    • subedii says:

      @ Alice: Nah, media blackouts are usually a good idea.

      I pretty much kept myself on a media blackout for both Bioshock and Mass Effect 2. Found it was well worth it to do so (especially when I saw some of the stuff they revealed in the ME2 trailers. Pretty ridiculous how much of the good stuff they spoiled).

      Fortunately these marketing shorts aren’t really about anything in the game itself, unless you’re unfamiliar with certain characters that are in this one.

    • The_B says:

      Are you supposed to be familiar with any characters yet, Subedii? To be fair, other than the fact that these two are robots and Aperture Science is a science company (although in that case, clue is in the name :P ) I don’t see much that required any prior knowledge, personally.

    • subedii says:

      Just the fact that the narrator is someone who wasn’t in the previous game and is IIRC, playing a big part in the new game. Especially with all the little bits they put out during the whole Portal 2 ARG.

    • westyfield says:

      The trailers seem to have been avoiding the singleplayer story, and focussing on the co-op bots. There have been a few gameplay videos of the first part of the singleplayer, though, which I’ve been avoiding. I’ve been watching the co-op trailers because I don’t expect there’s much to spoil, and they’re too cute to not watch.

  11. Njordsk says:

    That robot is a bastard, I’m warning you !

  12. skinlo says:

    If anyone didn’t notice, this was a subtle attack on Gamestop as well, the failed robots you see all have the exclusive Gamestop rollcage skin thing on them.

  13. heretic says:

    If you live in London you can play Portal 2 at Westfield shopping centre.

    Is a demo out for this at all? If so this is probably it. It seems to run on the xbox though, but as some of you are heretics in that area you’d probably be interested.

    • Radiant says:

      Westfield shopping centre makes me feel like I’m in an Aperture Science style experiment as it is.

    • heretic says:

      The superdrug shop has good offers sometimes, if you live close by (like me) its quite handy.

      Recommend headphones and good music when going though, the amount of crap blaring from each shop can be distressing.

  14. passingstranger says:

    These trailers have cemented just how badly I want Valve to make a movie.

  15. Flint says:

    I love these trailers (and the bots) beyond belief and the marketing in general has been brilliant, and the news about The National song is making me shiver with anticipation. Now if only I could get interested of the game itself.

  16. dlr2 says:

    What is the significance of the author of the story shown under the title: CrysisTU2 ?

  17. Mr_Day says:

    Aww, the robots have names now.

    I don’t care. They’ll always be Squat-bot and Spindly to me.

  18. Muzman says:

    This speaks truth.

    Robots are not to be trusted.

  19. MajorManiac says:

    I really like this trailer. Even better than the 1st.

  20. Jahkaivah says: