The inventor of Chess, Mr. Wilbert Chess, today announced to a room full of chess enthusiasts that the classic game has received its very first patch. The changelog is as follows:
* Pawns may now move diagonally backwards in order to capture pieces
Rumours abound that Mr. Chess implemented the patch mid-game, and in doing so was able to unexpectedly capture the queen of Russian chess master Sergey Urusov. Despite taking his opponent by surprise (spectators report that the move caused Urusov to stare silently at Mr. Chess for a full forty-two minutes), it is said that Mr. Chess yet went on to lose the game anyway. More on this controversial turn of events as we hear it.
It’s been a slow week for video games.