Hey! Let’s All Play Steamlands

As previously mentioned, Steamlands looks pretty perfect. So it’s excellent news that it is now available to play on Nitrome. The game puts you in charge of a giant steam-tank which must be customised to overcome the various enemies you face. In this way, your enemies are crushed. If only all things in life were so.


  1. Heliocentric says:

    I poured a few minutes
    A Hour
    A Few hours
    All night
    until the sun came up but I can’t actually say it was fun.

    Dependance on old school rts puzzle maps against, swinging the camera about shooting at people who will aim at you as soon as you are in range.

    • CMaster says:

      Got to say the first few levels (up to the first split, then 2 stops past that in both directions left me thoroughly underwhelmed. Especially as there is no persistence between levels – never feels like you are controlling your tank.

    • Groove says:

      Exactly my thought. The whole draw was upgrading your tank, so a lack of persistance makes it all pretty pointless.

  2. GreatUncleBaal says:

    Good little game, I like the repositionable armour etc, and it has a nice art style. I would love to see this idea developed into a game where you had a whole city on wheels, resource gathering, expanding to fit a growing population etc.
    And now I’ve just started wondering what a game based on Christopher Priest’s “Inverted World” could be like – that is something I would like to see.

    • man-eater chimp says:

      Say like a Mortal Engines kind of game?

    • MonkeyMonster says:

      Ahh so I wasn’t the only one who saw it and went oh – that sounds like a book i’ve read… :D

  3. Corrupt_Tiki says:

    Just quietly that was pretty good.

  4. idiotapocs says:

    Reminds me of Stratosphere: Conquest of the Skies. It was a neat little 3D game back in 1998, you had to build towers, shields and stuff on a huge flying platform. Then other huge flying platforms came, and you had to crush ’em. FUN

    • Hypocee says:

      Oh mannnn. Thanks so much for mentioning Stratosphere. I loved that game, played it for months but until you brought it back I had absolutely forgotten that it ever even existed. Now I’m worried about what other awesome things I’ve forgotten, but on the upside I remember Stratosphere again. Ramming speed!

  5. Scatterbrainpaul says:

    Just played it for about 15 minutes, was pretty fun. Then I remembered I was at work and would probably get sacked if I carried on playing it so stopped and went and looked at porn instead

  6. Yosharian says:

    Can we get an actual verdict on this game because it’s hard to tell if it’s actually any good from the limited stuff I’ve seen.

  7. Koojav says:

    Meh. Boring.

  8. JiminyJickers says:

    I must just be retarted, but I cannot even start the game. I click accept on the first mission and nothing happens, just goes straight back to the map. Screw this game.

    Edit: Oh, I see on their Facebook page that there are a bunch of bugs, which is causing the game to be unplayable. Yay, I’m not dumb.

  9. DJ Phantoon says:

    I’m disappointed that the steammachine you make doesn’t carry on to the next level.

  10. evilhayama says:

    This is typical Nitrome, a good concept with nice pixel art, executing in the most boring way possible. If you want something with bad art but great execution try this thingo I got from the last Steamlands post:
    link to suznooto.com
    Top link is the main game, arrange dudes then click bottom-right button twice to fight the other guy. Wasted way too much time this week trying to puzzle out all the levels

  11. Psychopomp says:

    I totally heard the Sonic bumper sound in there.

  12. JuJuCam says:

    Yeah, this seemed like a better game in my imagination.

    • Napalm Sushi says:

      It pains me to say it, but that sums up my own thoughts to the letter.

      I was expecting my giant steam belching death engine to be mine, built from the ground up over the course of the game. In retrospect, I understand that would require a difficulty auto-balancing system that would be a bitch to get right (just ask the Revenge Of the Titans devs), but the total lack of persistance between levels was nevertheless a big surprise, and not of the good variety.

      This is a gigantic shame, because the art, animation, music and basic idea are all fantastic.

  13. Heartborne says:

    I would love to also see it on mobile stores :=)

  14. Christian says:

    Too bad this is designed to only work nicely with a QWERTY-layout (as the move right/left are bound to x and z). If you (like me) have a different keyboard, it’s quite difficult to maneuver.

    Or is there a way to change key-bindings and I just haven’t found it?

    • Corrupt_Tiki says:

      I used the arrow keys?

    • eldwl says:

      Didn’t occur to me to use the keyboard, I dragged the “stick” with the mouse…

    • Christian says:

      Funny this. For one that it shows the different approach people take to controlling games (I just wasn’t creative enough to try using the mouse).
      On the other hand: I tried the arrow-keys. They didn’t work for me (they were the obvious choice, just: nothing happened..). What I didn’t try was using the mouse to control the speed. I guess I’m getting old.
      But using the mouse for both speed and moving the blocks seems a bit hectic..so I guess using the keyboard will be necessary at some point in the game?

    • eldwl says:

      Dunno about being creative, I think I just couldn’t be bothered to use my left hand and assumed it would be with the mouse. It seemed like it was going to get pretty frantic, although I didn’t play past the third level – like others have said, the lack of persistence made it feel like hoovering up all the armour was pointless. Got bored, moved on.

  15. Post-Internet Syndrome says:

    I found the controls quite frustrating, and was too disappointed by the lack of tank persistance.

  16. dethtoll says:

    It won’t even load for me. :(

  17. geldonyetich says:

    In my mind, it was going to be a game where you’re perpertually rolling to the right, upgrading your machine with the fallen parts of your foes, occasionally stopping by a city to rest, rearm, upgrade, and when you reach the point where your tank has sustained such damage that it cannot continue then it’s game over.

    Instead, the developers decided a scenario-based approach would be better, which I suppose makes sense from a sheer balance perspective and probably is a bit less technically demanding, but is nonetheless a bit of a let down in that they ditched the freeform feel.

    Generally, a thoroughly entertaining device of a game, although I do have to say that it gets a bit monotonous to have to access blocks that have fallen behind my tank to reassemble them (yes, I’m aware of the magnet function). For what reason could the blocks not fall in *front* of the tank? Even if they block your construction, at least they’d be quickly accessible to move out of the way.