Duke Nukem Is Also A First-Person Shooter

The “Shrinkage” trailer, embedded below, made me laugh. But it made me laugh in that way where the end of the laugh ends up being a sigh. And maybe I wasn’t really smiling at all.


  1. Scatterbrainpaul says:

    I’m starting to think this looks quite good

    • kirkbjerk says:

      Almost like a finely aged porter.

    • Man Raised by Puffins says:


    • Mr_Initials says:

      I’m sure the alcohol he drinks makes him stand to and not stand to.

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    • manveruppd says:

      Nuke the spambot above me please.

  2. mod the world says:

    DNF could be a surprisingly good shooter.

  3. magnus says:

    ‘The “Shrinkage” trailer, embedded below, made me laugh. But it made me laugh in that way where the end of the laugh ends up being a sigh. And maybe I wasn’t really smiling at all.’

    Was that your inner Guardian reader speaking? I shut mine up years ago!

  4. gingerpembers says:

    RPS, I love you.

    But please just stop being too insecure about the perception of your own intelligence to recommend anything you perceive as “low” humor.

    You know what’s funny and awesome? Gore and byewbs baby, now go enjoy it.

    • PleasingFungus says:

      They’re perfectly willing to recommend low humor when they actually enjoy it. But sometimes they don’t. And that’s okay.

      Not everything’s about your poorly-sublimated inadequacies, gingerpembers.

    • stahlwerk says:

      A shooter with “low” humor?
      Not a shooter for me,

    • OTD Razor says:

      The voice alone made my LOL. That and “porkchop sandwiches” =D

    • Tyshalle says:

      I’ll agree. There does seem to be a certain level of pretentiousness with the Collective Consciousness on DNF. Or at the very least a lot of uptightedness.

    • Bhazor says:

      Reply to Tyshalle
      No. It’s just not funny. Go play Conker or the early Larry Laffer games to see juvenile humour worth laughing at and games worth playing.

      For a game relying so heavily on humour the jokes I’ve seen are just *awful*. I mean it’s bad at a Wayan brothers level. Hell it’s bad at a Confessions of a Window Cleaner level.

    • SirKicksalot says:

      What was SO BAD! in this trailer?

    • Bhazor says:

      The animation, the utter lack of impact from the weapons, the awful gibbing that actually looks worse than the one used in Unreal Tournament, the voice acting, the ultra low poly textures, the fact it seems to think “Porkchop Sandwich” is a witty one liner, the fact that it features the Olsen Twins as characters (from the time they were playing 15 year old schoolgirls), the sound direction which makes it sound like all the lines were recorded on a boombox microphone, the weapon limit (you can see him drop a weapon to pick up the shrink ray).

      Now what about the trailer looks so good?

      Play Serious Sam, Bulletstorm or Vanquish if you want a super fun low brow shooter. Play Conker’s if you want purile humour that is actually funny. I really can’t see what people are defending here.

    • Tyshalle says:

      Bhazor, I was less commenting on taste in humor (I haven’t seen a single trailer from this game yet and so I have no idea how funny it is or isn’t), and more on how every gaming journalist in the world seems to be going out of their way to feign offense (or worse, genuinely be offended) at ridiculously over the top crap like this. Oh, killing hookers in GTA IV is fine, but a little buttslapping and clearly-not-serious objectifying of women and it’s time to join Mothers Against Canada? I’m all for opinions being diverse and things not rubbing people in all the same ways, but there’s a level to a lot of reporting on this game (including on this site) that just seems to be insecure handwaving, and in a lot of cases disingenuous outrage at something that, if it’s not funny, it’s not because it’s morally reprehensible, but because it’s just lame. And so far everything I’ve read to the contrary has just made me think that the writers are a bunch of tightwads confusing the kind of PC they’re supposed to be writing about.

    • Jim Rossignol says:

      YOUR MUM is insecure about the perception of her own intelligence.

    • Tyshalle says:


      Don’t get me wrong, I love you guys. I just think we ought to be mature enough to be able to handle the grossly immature without sitting down in our leather armchairs with a cup of Grey Poupon, smoking a pipe and talking about how superior our sensibilities are to such lowly filth.

      EDIT: Also, having just watched the above trailer, that was pretty terrible.

    • Chris D says:

      Wait, I had to google Grey Poupon. It appears to be mustard. Why would I sit in an armchair with a cup of mustard? Trying to answer that question has lead to the kind of mental images that I suspect would even make Duke Nukem blush/wince. Thanks for nothing.

      Note to self: Remember to buy more mustard.

    • Vinraith says:

      @Chris D

      Pop over to youtube and dig up some of the old advertisements. Grey Poupon has always marketed itself as “upscale” in an (initially unintentionally) hilariously oblivious way. In the US, it connotes clueless pretension.

    • stahlwerk says:

      Thing is, Duke Nukem (the character) is very much like the proverbial one trick pony in a circus show. When you go there once, you kinda get your money’s worth, and in hindsight you remember your inner child gleeing at what the pony did, because yay ponies! But then you visit the show some years later and you notice there’s still the same tired old beast doing its trick, but it’s shakier than you remember and the trainer seems to need rougher methods to lead pony around, and you begin to feel bad for the animal, for yourself for supporting such a crappy show in the first place, and for the rest of the audience who seem to be in childish ignorance about the farce that’s going down before their very eyes.

    • Chris D says:


      Aha. I understand now. Well, sort of.

    • Ragabhava says:

      Never heard about Grey Poupon, but this little nugget makes my day…it sounds to my ears like a gallicised version of Grey Poop, after watching the commercials it is hilariously fitting !

    • manveruppd says:

      I’m with Tyshalle, you guys are trying much too hard to be grown up and stuff. But all you’re accomplishing is look like you’re trying to guilt-trip people into not enjoying this!

  5. El_MUERkO says:

    I’ve played a demo of it, and while I played it I laughed out loud several time. It is fun.

    I will buy it and then I will play it to completion and I wont care who is outraged by it or why.

  6. Daniel Rivas says:

    This also seems to be a cart racing game.


    • BunnyPuncher says:

      It looks like a badcart racing game :(

    • Daniel Rivas says:

      It seems every first person shooter now has a mariokart segment. Only a good thing.

    • stahlwerk says:

      Well… “At one point Duke is shrunk, because the game wants to make him small, and you drive a remote-controlled car around the levels. You’ll see enemies you can only somewhat interact with, and a few times I hit the boost to use ramps to go places I assumed I could explore, only to have the screen go white while the game re-placed the car where it wanted it to be. When I can obviously use the game’s physics to go somewhere, but I’m kept from my goal via artificial, immersion-breaking means, that’s bad design.”
      — Ben Kuchera, link to arstechnica.com

      Edit: so yeah, pretty much mario kart.

    • Buttless Boy says:


      That’s funny, the same thing happened to me in Portal 2. Awesome places to explore all over the place, but Valve WON’T LET ME.

      I think the point I’d like to make is that nobody was dissing Portal 2 for doing that kinda crap. It’s okay if it’s Duke though, because that’s an uncool game instead of a trendy one.

      (in all seriousness, if DNF manages to be 1/10 as good as Portal 2 I will be shocked)

  7. Flint says:

    This was the first trailer that reminded me some of the fun level design of the old game. Great!

    Sadly the trailer then went to ruin the good mood with the bit where he picks up the shrink gun, reminding of the terrible two-weapon limit.

    • Urthman says:

      Yeah, so rather than giving you the shrink gun and letting you pull it out at various points in the game when you think, “hey the shrink ray would be fun right now,” they’ve probably got one level that’s the “shrink ray level” and you spend the first half of it being tiny and the second half of it shrinking every monster in the level and stepping on it until it gets boring.

      Then you go to the next level and it’s back to the semi-automatic rifle and/or shotgun until you get to the part where the game gives you a rocket launcher in the room before the big thing that you have to shoot a rocket at.

      It’ll be almost 11% more fun than just watching a video of someone else playing the game!

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Honestly, you don’t know that. Have you played the game, hmmm?

    • Bhazor says:

      Well thats exactly what the story board said. IIRC (can’t find it now) the shrink ray is available on two missions.

    • Kolchak says:

      Well maybe the modders can fix that problem. Having Duke hold a bunch of weapons couldn’t be too hard could it?

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Um… Uh… Fair enough.

    • aerozol says:

      It seems kind of appropriate to have levels made for this gun, considering it would get old in about… 2 levels. The kitchen/ toy car scenes look fun though, because they’re designed specifically for it I assume.

  8. Spliter says:

    I’m hoping for a sequence where a big girl carries you around between her bosoms.
    yes, tits are funny, LAUGH AT THEM!

  9. alexmasterson says:

    Hah! Bad guys throwing canned food at you? Like all the Duke trailers so far, I was grinning all the way through. Can’t wait.

  10. stahlwerk says:

    We had this discussion in the Sunday Papers comments on first vs. third person perspective and characterization via story vs. “embodiment” of the main protagonist by the player… anyway, I feel like this is a game that demonstrates the benefits of the “blank slate” type of protagonist: here the main character is fleshed out in such an off-putting way (to me) that I will not want to walk in his shoes, figuratively.

  11. Pop says:

    Man, it’s going to be like Duke Nukem vs. iD. It’s like my teenage years all over again! Next Oasis and Blur will be battling it out in the charts only to be stomped all over by a rejuvenated Spice Girls and I’ll be right back there!

  12. Acorino says:

    Still think the 2001 Duke looks better than all the recent stuff I’ve seen. Seemed more…open to the imagination, maybe?

    • Bhazor says:

      Maybe because this one looks like a ten year old game maybe?

  13. Paul says:

    That was seriously some funny shit. I might buy this game after all.

  14. Rii says:

    I think I would enjoy playing this game drunk.

  15. Jim9137 says:

    It’s not a tit simulator?

  16. frenz0rz says:

    Anyone else think tiny Duke sounds uncannily like Conker the Squirrel?

    • Squirrelfanatic says:


    • Bhazor says:

      Don’t you dare compare this to Conker. Thems fighting words.

    • lurkalisk says:

      I do feel this is like Conker but better by a significant margin! Wouldn’t you agree, chaps? I thought so!

  17. Paul says:

    “Duke! Thank god no one stepped on you!”

    Day one.

  18. Teddy Leach says:

    Oh look, it seems people are actually looking forward to it now.

    I was looking forward to it before this trend.

  19. TotalBiscuit says:

    No, no I have not grown up to the point where I cannot enjoy Duke Nukem. Thank god for that.

    • patricij says:

      I’ll probably never grow up by now…which is good, as I can also enjoy the sequel in 20 years time :)))

    • Antsy says:

      It’d be like no longer being able to enjoy a Carry On film! Columbus not withstanding…

  20. Bhazor says:

    Ok. I give up.
    Why are people excited about this? I’m being honest here. Is it purely nostalgia? Is it because it looks a bit different to most shooters? I honestly can’t understand it.

    To me it just looks like a ten year old shooter with some of the dullest, most toothless and most predictable gross out comedy I’ve seen since Epic Movie.

    • Zarunil says:

      For me, mostly nostalgia. If I hadn’t played Duke Nukem 3D, I doubt I’d be interested in this title at all.

    • Daniel Rivas says:

      I quite liked the shrinking, but yeah, it just looks a bit cheap. Can’t say I’m offended by the look-it’s-wank-material-but-not-really female characters, but I don’t think I could sit and listen to them for very long because they’re just so rubbish sounding. Like they only took one reading of every line and called it a day. And the animation is awful.

      I’ve never played a Duke Nukem game, and maybe it’ll be fun, but it just looks uninteresting.

      Maybe if it were a mod.

    • patricij says:

      because…Duke Nukem, it’s an unexplainable phenomenon…

    • KingMudkip says:

      Here’s what the Magic Oracle sez: this game will tank. There. I said it. I just can’t imagine that a mindless shooter with women of negotiable affection will sell well when there’s things like… well, nearly any other FPS out there, out there.

    • Bhazor says:

      No theres room for all types of games out there. Bulletstorm shows theres a definite market (279,000 in two weeks) for mindless shooters. Good mindless shooters.

      DNF will definitely sell well purely based on the hype and the fans. It still looks like it’ll be a terrible game, mind.

    • magnus says:

      I get it now it’s, ‘If I say it’s bad I can torrent it and not feel guilty’ that’s what this is about,right?

    • Daniel Rivas says:

      If I’m going to torrent a game, I don’t tend to find I need moral justification.

      That said, I can’t remember the last time I downloaded a game I hadn’t paid for. Apart from free ones, obviously.

    • alm says:

      I think from what I’ve seen it looks genuinely fun, and has better humour than bulletstorm (though that’s not saying much). True, I’d mainly be buying it for nostalgia’s sake, and now that I’m older I’m not so attached to the DN peurile attitude. But it l enjoyed the first immensely and expect that I’ll get my money’s worth from this one.

  21. Frikkinold says:

    I am old. I smiled through all of this, then afterwards, I was surprised to find myself in a low state. And baffle of baffles, I also found that I kind of like being there from time to time in between all the serious shit like religion and dead Bin Ladens.

  22. Metonymy says:

    You guys should ask a woman’s permission to feel confident, so you can enjoy these trailers without discussing your insecurities.

    • Bhazor says:

      Who are you talking about exactly?

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      It’s one of those psychological things where the statement says more about the speaker than anyone he could be addressing.

  23. georgej says:

    Hail to the king baby !

  24. SquareWheel says:

    Why is there sound after the video is over?

  25. MiniTrue says:

    I am going to disparage this trailer, for I feel sure that many grateful women will indubitably reward my saving them from misogyny with coitus.

    I am an internet white knight, and we’re done here.

    • Doesntmeananything says:

      Oh, get out of here! Not a soul in this section of the comments is saying that he or she is offended or perturbed by this trailer. The general feeling is that of tired indifference.
      There are the fans, of course, and many people are indeed lured by the, ahem, style of the game, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised to discover that quite a lot of people don’t really care about this game, and at this point, I believe, nothing is gained by mocking the most prudish among us gamers.
      Also, all those remarks about RPS’s ostensibly sanctimonious behaviour towards the game are very amusing. Aren’t those three minuscule sentences in this article really not saying anything?

    • stahlwerk says:

      What a fitting name… you seem to have this “internet” thing down pat. Right on, you shining diamond!

      Edit, sorry, that was needlessly ad-hominish. I’m just baffled about some assumptions you seem to be making about people expressing their, yes, tired indifference. We’re not hatin’, we just calls’em how we sees em, and I for one see a PR campaign that begins its videos with fart noises. Just saying.

    • MiniTrue says:

      On the contrary, there is much fun to be gained from mocking the prudish amongst gamers, due to how easily offended they are.
      Quod Erat Demonstrandum. :)

    • Tristram Shandy says:

      Minitrue: RPS commenters leap to the defense of Duke Nukem bashing!
      RPS Commenters: We will disprove that notion by leaping to the defense of Duke Nukem bashing!

    • MiniTrue says:

      So if I were to leap to the defence of those fighting against those leaping to the defence of those leaping to the defence of Duke Nukem Bashers….I can has sex?

    • Thants says:

      Mocking people getting offended here would be a lot more effective if there were people getting offended here.

    • TillEulenspiegel says:

      Mm. Duke Nukem is like a little kid screaming curse words. Or like South Park.

      They try oh so hard to offend (take THAT, librul PC brigade! betcha didn’t like it! aren’t you SO OFFENDED???? please pay attention to me). Which is occasionally amusing, but usually just tiresome.

  26. robitii says:

    this game will be epic

    • stahlwerk says:

      it better be, I sincerely hope Gearbox can edit 14 years of content generation into something resembling a seamless >5h experience.

  27. MiniTrue says:

    I wonder how many people who cry foul at Duke Nukem have ever watched TRON? Or any Michael Bay or James Cameron film? Yes? It’s perfectly alright for films to be about simple fun, yet when a game does that, of course, it’s not “srs bsns” enough…

    …when gaming gets over its inferiority complex with every other medium, then more good games will be made. The push towards genre homogeneity is, ironically, one of the things that is killing gaming at the moment. Just because something is different and you don’t approve, you don’t need to announce to the world your belief that it will “regress the genre”, “corrupt the children”, or whatever other fatuous and unsubstantiated crap people ascribe to a mindless bit of fun, that is no more or less mindless than one of these much-vaunted Mass Effects or Dragon Ages of our world. If you want to fight misogyny in gaming, fight it in games that stereotype women whilst pretending to be serious, much like the two games aforementioned. Don’t go on a moral crusade on a game that has written “the content of this game is tasteless and offensive, if you don’t like it lump it” in massive letters over every conceivable orifice.

    • Multidirectional says:

      I’ll always respect stupid games that embrace their stupidity more than childish stuff like Dragon Age pretending to be “mature”.
      Insecurity of most gamers is truly comical sometimes, I think it’s part of the reason why the rest of the world can’t take gaming or gamers seriously. They are like little kids desperately trying to act like grown ups and ending up looking even more childish in the process.
      So go ahead RPS, tell us some more how you didn’t laugh very much at a new DNF trailer. It’s pretty adorable.

    • poop says:

      this is stupid in a bad way that hurts games as a whole, next.

  28. Nim says:

    While reading through these comments I noticed something peculiar. There seems to be a set of readers / commenters who post not once, not twice,not even trice but multiple times all over the page, condescending upon the humour of the game, overall game quality, describing how offended their sensibilities are, complaining about graphics, etc.

    I’m calling you out!
    We get it, you don’t like it (if it indeed is your genuine opinion). Stop shitting up the page with your trolling and get on with your lives! I don’t like “Gaming made me” articles, so I don’t read them and I don’t go dirtying up their comment sections out of respect for those that do like them.

    • MiniTrue says:

      Very well said. Their opinion may be valid, but the poisonous logic that DNF somehow “hurts gaming” is just ludicrous.

    • Thants says:

      I see far more comments complaining about people getting offended than people actually getting offended.

    • Nim says:

      Thants, I’m not talking about the majority here, I’m targeting a select group.

    • roryok says:

      trolling bhazturds

    • stahlwerk says:

      @Nim you could always just address those people (ha) directly, via the reply function for example. Baiting is really not conducive to a good discussion.

      So, for me now it’s back to acting all grown up and dead serious about fart jokes. AND LETTING YOU KNOW ABOUT IT.

  29. Aedrill says:

    I just love how eager DN fans are to call me too serious or prudent just because I didn’t like “jokes” in DNF. I find them boring, predictable and unfunny, get over it.

    PS. This is my first post in whole DNF discussion.

    • Corrupt_Tiki says:

      Hmm that’s funny because DNF hasn’t been released yet.

    • Aedrill says:

      And I obviously didn’t have a chance to hear/see any jokes from this game. What sort of argument is that? I didn’t say I dislike gameplay or find ending disappointing. Did you already manage to forget about throwing shit in this game? Well this type of “humour” is something I find dull and stupid.

    • Corrupt_Tiki says:

      It’s not an argument, more of an observation of the multiple people slagging the game off, when It has not been released yet.

      And also, why comment really if you have zero interest? Go dirty up another thread.

  30. dethtoll says:

    This entire thread made me sad. You horrible, soulless bastards.

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      Are you saying Duke has soul? But he’s a soldier!

  31. jack4cc says:

    My inner man-child is satisfied.

  32. Corrupt_Tiki says:

    Why comment on a thread if you really have no interest in the subject or game being discussed? Go spew your shit elsewhere please -__-

    Being shrunk looks fun, although I think the driving scenes look a bit shit, and I hope the guns have a nice thumpy feel.

  33. DCCTV says:

    It’s probably just me, but is anyone else looking forward to more of the sci-fi story?

    I seem to be the only person that really likes it, and likes it more than the stories set in the past.

  34. Mario Figueiredo says:

    I’m probably going to buy this piece of crap for historical reasons. Duke Nukem was kind of the cool uncle of 1st person shooters, then DNF became quite the cultural icon for never having been finished. Seems fitting to get an hold on this. I’ve bought worse crap.

    Then I’m probably going to play it. Enjoy some of it. Try to get past the cretin speech and childish attire by reminding myself constantly “It’s Ok, I’m an adult” (possibly forcing myself to watch stock market channels as way to attone). And with any bit of luck, I’ll put it aside — another one for my collection — that I will soon forget all about.

    But no one can ever claim I don’t own DNF. After what we’ve been through with that, that would be the real sin.

  35. Chiller says:

    So, this trailer spoils what could have been one of the more fun surprises of the game. You’d think people have learned from Quake 4.

  36. bill says:

    Duke had a hugely entertaining selection of weapons, of which the shrink ray was a big favorite. The first part (and the multiplayer) also had some awesomely varied levels.

    But I can’t help but worry that having a 2 gun limit will work against using that fun. And having modern flat levels will also limit the fun.
    (Please god let the 2 weapon limit not include pipe bombs and trip mines, because that would be terrible).

    Duke might have been dumb and over-rated in many ways, but when it all came together it was great.

  37. Dances to Podcasts says:

    You know how sometimes you watch tv and there’s a rerun of some old series you used to watch and you wonder why you did? Was it really that crap back then as well? And then you realise it’s a different time. The world has moved on. You moved on. You’re a different person now. Some things stand the test of time and become classics. Other things don’t and become… curiousities and are best left behind. Just the memories will do.

  38. Tristram Shandy says:

    I’d just like to remind everyone here that even though I’m a fan of a medium seen as childish by the people I’ve never met but am desperate not to be judged by, I renounce this game and all its despicable immaturity. I would also like to make sure that everybody knows that jokes pertaining to human sexuality disgust every fibre of my being, making it obvious I’m surely an incredibly sophisticated grown up, and an afficianado of the high-culture art form that is electric toys where you pretend to shoot baddies.