All Hail ‘Hitman: Subtitle’

Because 'Hitman: Another One' would have been going too far

Morning, giggles. How’s every little thing? To start you off for the new week, let’s have a good old belly-laugh at leaked marketing materials for the mysterious Hitman: Absolution. Or, as these presumably work in progress box covers (via Kotaku) claim it’s called, “Hitman: Subtitle.” Y’know what, I’d have bought extra copies if it really was called that. There’s an honesty to it. “The bit after the colon doesn’t mean anything but people expect it – just put any old melodramatic guff in there.” So Hitman: Subtitle it must officially remain on RPS, forever. Coming up next – Red Faction: Sequel.


  1. Hoaxfish says:

    Call of Duty: Dead Horse

  2. Kaira- says:

    Video Game: X of Y

  3. Lewie Procter says:

    Mirror’s Edge: Never Gonna Happen


    • Mike says:

      It’s not even funny any more, is it? :(

    • Perjoss says:

      after getting into mirrors edge again recently, i find your little sad fad with a tear very appropriate.

  4. jon_hill987 says:

    I was expecting it to be “Hitman: 5ubtitle”.

  5. Matt says:

    Hitman: Subtle

  6. Bungle says:

    Fantastic paragraph. You made me smile, then laugh.

    And please tell the good folks at World of Tanks that we Opera browser users support their game and its non-browser-crashing advertisement. It’s good to be back.

  7. Stranglove says:

    Medal of Honor: War Men Fighting

  8. Olero says:

    – Modern Warfare 3: Getting really old
    – Uncharted 4: New map

  9. Nighthood says:

    Thi4f: Misplaced number

  10. Icarus says:

    Deus Ex: Please oh god let it be good oh please

  11. DanPryce says:

    The Sims: Life Thing Expansion Pack

  12. ordteapot says:

    RPS: Post Pun Postponed?

  13. cqdemal says:

    Seriously though, those covers aren’t half bad at all.

  14. Corrupt_Tiki says:

    The Sims: Paying bills is fun!
    Silent Hunter: Number
    Call of Duty: Mediocre warfare

  15. Nighthood says:

    Football Manager: Just slap a new year on it, people’ll buy millions of copies anyway.

  16. chakraist says:

    Guys: Stop It Now

  17. sonofsanta says:

    The Witcher 2: Just Better Than Everything

    (sorry, just didn’t feel like a comments thread without it being mentioned. Only one more day!)

  18. Teronfel says:

    2 Shotguns: Total War

  19. Stranglove says:

    Iron Fists: raising the fighty flag

  20. DanPryce says:

    Leisure Suit Larry: In-YOUR-Endo

  21. JohnnyMaverik says:

    Deus Ex: Just pretend the second game never happened.

  22. Dubbill says:

    Reminds me of the excellent “A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever”: link to

    • Stephen Roberts says:

      I go to the cinema pretty regularly and I suspect that if they made that into a feature length film it would stand above a lot of what I see.

  23. Pop says:

    Still not a patch on Ubisoft:

    link to

  24. ChrisP says:

    Title: Subtitle

  25. PetitPrince says:

    “Sport Federation Year” if you have the license or
    “Sport Jargon Term Year” if you don’t (or if you don’t want to use it).

  26. yurusei says:

    Red Alert : Same shit with different salad dressing.

  27. Felixader says:

    I personally would be head and heels for Metroid : Silence. X-P

  28. ZIGS says:

    Deus Ex Invisible War: What a Shame

  29. ran93r says:

    Unreal Tournament: We totally dropped the ball and sold out, sorry!

  30. Araxiel says:

    Will we be able to turn off the subtitles?

    *badum tsch*

  31. Kent says:

    Vampires – The Masquerade: Not finished yet!

  32. alexdulcianu says:

    Videogame Online.

  33. rebb says:

    Game : Accidental Comment Meme

  34. twosai says:

    The Sims 4: Another game where we will make thousands of expansions with things we could have put in the game from the beginning, but we didn’t, because we wanted to make more money. Its not like we don’t have money, cause we got alot, but we are just being greedy.

    Wow! That is one long title.

  35. twosai says:

    “World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria.”

    Lol. That would be one sucking game.

    Wait a minute….