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FIFA 12: Foot-To-Ball Is Real

In years gone by our top scientists, professional experts, and visionary cosmologists believed that games could only be used to model and simulate men getting shot. At a stretch the technology could be applied to zombies getting shot, or even man-like robots, but the basic laws of nature suggested that ultimately it was the fate of computer game systems to help us see men being machinegunned dead in their thousands of millions. In 2011, of course, science has vindicated our hope that one day it might also portray men getting stabbed and – in rare, exquisite instances of intense joy – men playing together on a field. Yes. Look at them play. Beautiful, beautiful. It gives me a sense of peace.

Foot-to-ball in videogames is a reality, people. And the world is more wonderful for it. Get used to it. And watch the new Electronic Artball Number 12 video, which I’ve posted below.

Look at those men! They’re not getting shot, no sir, they’re doing some sharing the ball. Oh that guy is teasing – he’s keeping the ball! – ah no he shares it in the end. Lovely, lovely sharing there. Well done, footmen. Ball.

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Jim Rossignol


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