Not-Quite-LiveBlog: The Microsoft Conference

EDIT: FINISHED! EA liveblogging – actually live from LA – from 8, tune in then.

H! I’m not in LA. I’m in Brighton. It’s much nicer here. I have a glass of beer in my hand and a cat sat next to me. Aw. It also means I have a much better view of the Microsoft press conference than anyone at the Microsoft press conference, because I’m watching a live-streaming video of it from the comfort of my own home. Granted, it’s primarily an Xbox-centric conference, but stuff like Skyrim, Bioshock Infinite and Mass Effect 3 should be showing up in it, so I shall watch them then say things about them RIGHT HERE. Yes!
Edit – now with proper liveblogging software. Simply watch below to see what I say LIVEish – no refreshing required. Editedit – It’s over. See the whole horrorshow below.


17.30: I’m watching a video on GameTrailers. Men keep talking, but I’ve not see any games yet.

17.32: It’s Modern Warfare 3! Some soldiers are muttering at each other. Now there’s diving. And the word FOLLOW in big letters. Does that mean the player has to follow the other man? In a Call of Duty game? Never!

17.34: Still diving. Still dark. Still muttering. Still following. THIS IS THE WORST COD EVER!

17:35: Oh, we’re above water at last. There’s a bloody big city out there -New York, presumably. Looks immense and devastated, very impressive but then that might just be the low bitrate talking. Now there is shooting. The shooting of men, by other men.

17.37: Corridors! How I’ve waited for the day that a highly-anticipated first-person shooter featured corridors.

17.38: Lots of scripting and incidental animation. Does seem a little more lavish than earlier CoDs, even if it’s quite obviously a pretty similar experience.

17.39: The waters outside New York are a mess of flaming metal. Looks like it’s basically doing 21st century Pearl Harbour, with you in a speedboat darting around the devastation and picking off Bad Men in Bad Speedboats.

17.40: Developers are on-stage now, and that TwoFourSixEightZero guy or whatever he’s called. They are truly humbled by how much you like/buy Call of Duty, apparently.

17.42: Ok, it’s going to be loads of stuff about how many Xboxes they’ve sold now. Expect radio silence here for a little bit, unless I hear some marketing speak so insidious that I just can’t help but post it.

17.43: Oops, my mistake -they’re onto Tomb Raider now. A British man in an upsettingly salmon-coloured shirt is introducing it.

17.43: Lara’s held captive, strung upside down and making what are either gasping or sex noises. The player seems to need to sway her left and right, until she moves into some fire so her ropes burn away and she falls to the ground, into a puddle full of water and bones. One of these bones jams into her thigh, and she rips it out with a frankly horrible sound.

17.45: Can’t tell what the enemies she’s fighting are. Appears to be topless shouting men. Is she on a British beach holiday? Anyway: weaponless, she manages to kick him in the teeth and escape.

17:46: Lots of use of fire – she makes her own torch from a handy brazier and uses it to see in this dark, watery grotto thing. It’s full of huge contraptions and raddled walkways that look like the towns in Fallout 3.

17.49: And she’s outside. There’s some sort of heartbreaking piano music, and huge views of a crashed galleon as she climbs a hill. The dev’s promising open environments and survival mechanics. Interesting and lavish stuff, definitely a true departure from previous TRs.



  1. skinlo says:

    I’m in Brighton too! Where abouts are you in Brighton??

  2. skinlo says:

    I swear this level was in CoD4.

  3. Linfosoma says:

    But will team mates open doors for you? I think that kind cordiality is really important in shooter games.

  4. soundofvictory says:

    lol @ “the world’s greatest story tellers” in reference to IW.

  5. Doomsayer says:

    STUDIOHEAD! meh.

    Laura Croft has quicktime events. This game is clearly RUINED FOREVER!!!!1

    • UnravThreads says:

      Who’s Laura Croft? Lara’s less sexy sister?

    • ResonanceCascade says:

      First Duke Nukem Forever, now Tomb Raider. WHO ACTUALLY THINKS THAT SHIT IS A GOOD IDEA?!
      It’s such a lazy game design choice.

  6. Eukatheude says:

    What the hell is happening in that TR?

  7. AndrewC says:

    Into her WHAT?

  8. Eukatheude says:


  9. TimA says:

    She certainly makes a lot of noises.

  10. Teddy Leach says:

    At least 7 of the developers and journalists I’m following on Twitter are live tweeting it. It’s like being there.

    EDIT: Now I’m live-tweeting it too.

  11. Doomsayer says:

    I have an intense urge to live-comment, which is probably a bad idea……

    • jonfitt says:

      It seems like we should be able to Live comment.
      Have you seen an Ars Technica live blog? They have a peanut gallery comment system in place so people can comment as we go.

  12. Okami says:

    I thought the guys in the other room were watching porn, but it turned out it was the Tomb Raider presentation from the MS Press Conference

  13. jonfitt says:

    Anyone want to take bets on whether Microsoft’s’ big push on PC gaming will include publishing any PC games?



    • jonfitt says:

      Recently leaked Halo 4 to include PC release?

    • UnravThreads says:

      Well, considering how we weren’t deemed important after giving us a restricted-to-Vista-and-7-for-no-reason port of Halo 2, and then neglected to give us Halo 3, ODST, Reach and Halo Wars, I doubt we’ll see Halo on PC again.

    • ResonanceCascade says:

      Not to mention that the Halo 2 port was one of the worst console ports I’ve ever played. Gearbox took their time and did the first one right. Halo 2 on PC was all kinds of broken. I think that franchise has probably seen the last of its PC days.

    • jonfitt says:

      I guess the old pun still stands that doubling down on nothing is still nothing!

  14. jonfitt says:

    Woooooah. A “live” “blog” you say. Do we still need to hit F5?

    Yes it is working.

  15. Doomsayer says:

    “Right, actual liveblogging. Is this working?”

    Nope. It never will!!!!111…It’s working.

  16. Rabbitsoup says:

    Tomb raider 7: the lost cutscene.

    Hope it gets better than that

  17. McDan says:

    Oooo, mass effect 3! Mordin! Where’s the singing?
    Edit: I’ll never speak in a headphone like that! Preposterous!
    Edit edit: Liara! Yay!

  18. Fazer says:

    “Right, actual liveblogging. Is this working?”
    Yes, yes it is!

    • AndrewC says:

      Maybe it is not now – no update for nearly five minutes. Could be down to laziness mind….
      Or down to the presentation just being too good to tear his attention awway from. Or death.

    • jonfitt says:

      Perhaps Alec should fill the live blog silence with some singing?

    • Rabbitsoup says:

      Maybe he’s just live bloging pc stuff. Also when did we start having voice rec in games? I remember there being a pokemon game with voice rec years ago.

  19. Ginger Yellow says:

    One of these bones jams into her thing, and she rips it out with a frankly horrible sound.


  20. Linfosoma says:

    The comment box is gone now, am I banned? Why wont you love me?

  21. Velvetmeds says:

    Awful. Kinect everywhere. I can’t. Bear. To. Watch!

  22. skinlo says:

    I’ve lost the ability to enter my own comments in the feed.

  23. Kerbobotat says:

    How are you guys replying to the liveblog?

  24. Doomsayer says:

    Kinect is magic, but liveblogging is iffy…..
    Actually, that statement makes no sense, but I’m checking because I think everything is broken suddenly. No comments on ghost-recon’s crazy gun shenanagins? Youtube and Bing (which sucks) on X-squared?

    Waitwaitwait: X-BOXED: PORN.

    Now I am hilarious.

  25. NR says:

    Is anyone able to comment on the liveblog?

  26. Durkonkell says:

    I could see the comment form on the liveblog thing, but I went and looked at something else and reloaded the page and it seems to be gone. Hm.

  27. Eukatheude says:

    “Xbox music, Sunn O)))”
    I dare you. I double fucking dare you.

    • ResonanceCascade says:

      Wait, what about Sunn 0)))?

      On that thought, Activision should reboot the Guitar Hero franchise with Sunn 0))). It’d be the longest, easiest game ever.

    • Eukatheude says:

      What i mean is “try to pronounce that”. It’s sunn O))), not 0))) anyway

    • ResonanceCascade says:

      While we’re in the business of correcting inconsequential mistakes, the band’s name is pronounced “Sun” so your theory is a little flawed, homeslice.

  28. Temple says:

    Best Kinect conversion for pc game that anyone knows about?
    (Really would like the future to get here to help my RSI)

  29. Man Raised by Puffins says:


  30. TimA says:

    I know this is redundant and been said so many times before, but pressing buttons with fingers will always seem so much more intuitive to me than this kinect nonsense.

    It reminds me of something I vaguely remember from HHGG: a gesture operated radio tuner, that you could never use because you had to constantly hover your hand in the exact right position to listen to whichever radio station you wanted.

  31. Eukatheude says:

    A Halo remake. Let’s hope they put some actual level design in the second part of the game, rather than backtracking the first part.

  32. Torgen says:

    Sent a few comments, t’ain’t working, McGee.

  33. NR says:

    Microsoft: “doubling down” on PC. Yeah…

  34. McDan says:

    Love it how he just says: “dmitri, show us the demo” then walks off the stage.

  35. Doomsayer says:

    Ok, this is a few minutes late, but I have to say this right: “Ten years ago,, HALO changed the way we play video games.” PC says FUCK YOU.

  36. Eukatheude says:

    Fable looks cheap.

  37. Linfosoma says:

    Notch will not stop until all the money in the world belongs to him it seems.

  38. kuran says:

    So THATS where the Minecraft development time I paid for has gone, thanks Notch!

  39. Eukatheude says:

    Disneyland kinect.

  40. Conor says:

    I find the lack of comment functionality working…disturbing.

  41. somini says:

    Kinect Star Wars looks like a poor man’s Lego Star Wars…

  42. Stochastic says:

    “I learned to take care of my body from the Cookie monster”!!!

  43. Man Raised by Puffins says:

    Tim Schafer!

  44. trooperdx3117 says:

    Tim Schafer what have they done to you?!

  45. DeepSleeper says:

    Oh, the false-entitlement rage of the PC gamer will be glorious to behold after THIS E3.

  46. McDan says:

    Oh, they did announce halo 4,5 and 6 as well, but no one cares…

  47. Ephaelon says:

    Thanks for taking the time, RPS. Helped me tune in for just what interested me. Which wasn’t much. Still, thanks!

  48. Po0py says:

    Well for the first time in my life I can truly say that I have never felt as glad that I own a decent PC than I do in 2011. Microsoft has completely run the fuck out of ideas. What a shambles. They have turned their Xbox machine into a fisher price toy. Not complaining. This can only be a truly great thing for PC gaming. Welcome back hard-core gamers. Where y’all been?

  49. Stranglove says:

    Hey, I heard that Bing was coming to Xbox! Bing, imagine that…

  50. McDan says:

    SKYRIM! My word that looks so good.