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E3 2011 Secret Diary: Monday

I think IGN are using this same image.

Tuesday 7th June, 11am:

So Monday contained the first proper bit of E3ing – the EA conference. This took place in a theatre in central LA, with quite the embarrassing typo on the outside. They’ve called it a “theater”! Everyone seemed too polite to point it out, so I didn’t say anything.

So 800,000 games journalists crammed themselves in and everyone attempted to set up their wifi/3G/4G connection at once, causing a crack to open up in the sky and purple light to rain down, killing at least a third of the attendees. Which was a relief, as it meant I was able to get a fraction of a connection in order to be able to liveblog the events.

It’s a strange business. Everyone attending, apart from all the EA bods, is a games journalist. Which makes the excited whooping and cheering as game names appeared on the vast screen a little unsettling. Sure, when they brought out some American foot-to-ballers that the locals have heard of, I get that there might be some thrill. I mean, if they’d brought out a champion lawn green bowls player or whatever sport it is that English people play, I’d have been on my feet with my shirt off. But I’d prefer to see some more decorum about that which we’re supposed to at least demonstrate a level head on. I’m very excited to play Mass Effect 3, since the first two have been so good. But I don’t think I should be waving a Mass Effect scarf above my head and hooting with excitement at its logo.

It was a very excitable hour, the top bods of EA trotting out one after another and pretending they weren’t reading off a monitor near their feet. Either that or they’d all written their scripts on their shoes. Speak from the heart, EA! It shouldn’t be platitudes you’ve hurriedly memorised before scampering on stage. It should be the love in your hearts bubbling out for all to see!

But that’s enough stupid gaming news. What you want to know is whether I managed to get any more clothes for my wedding. I did! A jacket. I will now be getting married in a shirt and jacket. I may wear underpants – I will see how the mood takes me.

E3 proper starts today, at long last. I’ve been here so long I think I have ancestry. Today I am mostly seeing everything EA has to offer, which is an impressive looking selection. Then it’s off to chat to CCP about what on Earth is going on with DUST Quarter Past Five, and finally to finally get my hands on Dead Island. We’ll at last be able to let you know if the game lives up to the trailers. I hope. These hands on appointments have a way of morphing into watching someone who made the game put their hands on it.

So, I’ve strapped on my strongest shoes (my only shoes – the one I bought in 2009 to replace those that fell apart the last time I was here), got my mifi in my pocket to get those 3 second glimpses of internet, and a flask of ghastly hotel room coffee to keep me alive on the bus journey from my hotel in Vancouver. I’m going to make you so proud. And take photos of weird looking people.

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John Walker

Senior Editor

One of the original co-founders of Rock, Paper, Shotgun, I'm now a senior editor and hero of humanity. Old and special.

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