Dungeon Siege 3 Advert Is What I Don’t Even

i mean maybe they were thinking that the no wait what

Dungeon Siege III has some of the noisiest visuals I’ve ever seen in an RPG. I’ve made fun them before. What, then, is a good solution when you want to advertise the game on a television?

Square Enix came up with a solution. A million thanks to RPS reader João “Mellow” Melo for sending this in.

People, let me tell you about my best friend. He’s a warm-hearted person who will love me till the end.


  1. Wizardry says:

    Goddamned LARPers.

    • Dreamhacker says:

      That’s LARPist!

    • Valvarexart says:

      All these TV ads (seen a few other similar ones) insult us. Really. I am serious LARPer, and it’s nothing like what the public view on it has become. There are, of course, LARPs for kids and for beginners, but serious LARPers don’t run about in the forest like maniacs and hit each other with rubber weaponry. I hope at least someone can agree with me.

    • Valvarexart says:

      Not if it is done properly. It should be more similar to theatre than gaming, and it usually is. Seriously.

    • Harlander says:

      Wait, you’re responding to “LARP is queer” as if it’s a legitimate point of debate?

      What’s next? “No, sir, I think you’ll find, on examination of the evidence, that allegations of my fellating goats are quite unfounded!”

    • TillEulenspiegel says:

      I’m more of an SCA person, myself.

      Nothing against any form of improv, though.

    • Valvarexart says:

      I shouldn’t have to, but it seems to be one of those things that everyone thinks they know but they don’t. Kinda like “you have to wear glasses and live in your moms basement to be a gamer”.

    • Bettymartin says:

      Wait a minute, you mean I can take these things off and move out?

    • dysphemism says:

      A good rule of thumb is that anyone who uses the word “queer” followed by the address “bro” should be disregarded.

    • The Hammer says:

      @Betty: Welll played!

    • Drake Sigar says:

      I never assumed this advertisement was trying to portray LARPing. At all.

    • CMaster says:

      I see LARPers most weeks around here.
      They’re not teens, but they are in the woods with rubber weapons (and some just plain ludicrous stuff, like triple-decker crossbows). I’ve never actually seen them acting out any combat despite all that however.

    • JB says:

      hear, hear dysphemism!

      I believe a comment or two were removed from another article today due to a “lazy homophobic slur”, yet undead dolphin hacker’s lovely thoughts are still sitting here. I’m sure the Hive Mind will cast its immense and terrifying gaze this way soon though…

    • JB says:

      @ BobsLawnService – If I thought for one moment that undead’s intention was for us to read “queer” as “strange”, I wouldn’t have bothered posting anything.
      Also I don’t find LARP particularly strange tbh. Worse things have happened at sea, as my granny used to say =)

    • The Innocent says:

      Well, the hivemind hammer has fallen. At least it saves us from a lengthy monologue on the difference between common and dictionary definitions, brought to you by a linguist who is definitely not me.

      In other news, I think LARPers — pardon me, LARPists — are a tad strange. Not bad-strange, just sort of fun-strange. I bought a plastic practice hand-and-a-half sword a while back, just because the kid in me loves that sort of stuff. I’ve been running around playing swords in my backyard for the last two weeks.

      I have met the LARPist, and he is me.

    • Premium User Badge

      Waltorious says:

      Am I the only person who didn’t even think this was a reference to LARPing and just thought it was funny?

      Seemed it was making fun of Dungeon Siege III more than anything else. “Look how ridiculous this jump-sword-move would be in real life!” “Who would ever actually swing their sword in a circle multiple times? It looks foolish, plus you’d fall over!”

      The point is that Dungeon Siege III is ridiculous.

    • BigJonno says:

      I didn’t get a particularly LARP-y vibe from it. However, I do resent the suggestion that having weapon-based combat and “serious LARP” are mutually exclusive. Maybe that’s just me being weird, having a wide range of RP tastes and not getting all snobby about particular aspects of the hobby.

    • anonymousity says:

      So instead of having fun doing something fun, silly and awesome, proper larpist find a way to suck all the joy from the experience and do that instead?

    • Ovno says:

      “Really. I am serious LARPer, and it’s nothing like what the public view on it has become. There are, of course, LARPs for kids and for beginners, but serious LARPers don’t run about in the forest like maniacs and hit each other with rubber weaponry. I hope at least someone can agree with me.

      Not if it is done properly. It should be more similar to theatre than gaming, and it usually is. Seriously.”

      And this is what’s wrong with larp and why everyone laughs at it, its not because people are having fun in the woods with swords, its because people are dressing up as elves (and others its just always the elves who are the worst) and taking themselves far too seriously…

  2. CMaster says:

    Remember, killing people who look different from you is a cheerful wholesome activity!

    • Rinox says:

      Also, impaling them with swords and having their green blood splash around while you are sporting a room-wide grin is totally cool. When it’s red blood or there are -god forbid- boobies, it is extremely harmful to the children.

    • chokoladenudlen says:

      You almost made splutter coffee all over when I read this :)

    • DiamondDog says:

      To be fair, the first one was about to eat a kitten.

    • noom says:

      You don’t know that. Maybe he was performing CPR on it.

    • Rinox says:

      Yeah Diamonddog, you prejudiced speciesist

  3. Marijn says:

    Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Also: loved the Gladiator reference at 0:50.

  4. Hentzau says:

    Speaking as somebody who is going to buy Dungeon Siege III, if the game does not turn out to be exactly as advertised I’m going to be /very/ disappointed.

    • Spider Jerusalem says:

      It’s a terrible, terrible game.

      Not made for mouse + keyboard at all.

  5. Moni says:

    Maybe it would have been less weird if they made them a boy and girl. It might have been a bit more heart-warming and less creepy then.

    • Marijn says:

      Except “slighly unsettling” is clearly what they were going for. Also, I’m sure you weren’t trying to come across as a homophobe there, right sport?

    • jon_hill987 says:

      They were going to until one of the people on the team remembered the slating Bioware got for not including Male-Male relationships in Mass Effect.

    • LionsPhil says:

      Well that has to be the most effeminate “brofist” I’ve seen, so I’m guessing “co-op with benefits” is the target demographic or something.

    • noom says:

      “Co-op with benefits” almost made me choke on the hob-nob I’m eating. Good work.

      Also, how was that remotely creepy Moni? Are you one of those people that gets into awkward silence territory if you stand too close to your friends?

    • lurkalisk says:

      They were indeed acting strange (but it seemed obvious to me they were trying to make it cheesy that way), but I never once inferred anything even vaguely sexual in nature. Maybe I’m just ignorant to the latest in unique homosexual mating rituals…

  6. Burchard says:

    Oddly enough it has the same camera issues as the game.

    Also, dat bloom.

  7. Nallen says:

    I am 12 and what is this?

  8. RaytraceRat says:

    I was really amazed by this game. I really didn’t liked the DS1, but this one is so much fun in co-op.

  9. McDan says:

    At the beginning I thouhg this is just what a modern day take on a frodo-sam love story would look like. I disregarded that thought by the end, frodo would have just stood there and let sam do all the work whilst looking depressed.

    • jon_hill987 says:

      You try carrying a cursed ring capable of corrupting the mind of it’s bearer and see how you get on. Of course he was depressed and Sam had to do all the work.

  10. The Hammer says:

    Rofl, Square-Enix’s FMV quality has really come on leaps and bounds recently!

    (love the music)

  11. Jumwa says:

    Normally I’m into any co-op centric game, but seeing as this is by Obsidian, the makers of Neverwinter Nights 2? Nah. You’ve burned me too badly for words to express, Obsidian. In NWN2 you gave me the most ridiculously buggy and awful game experience I’ve had of my life. It took my partner and I TWO DAYS to straighten out the mess you made of the serial numbers on BOTH copies.

    You know a developer is awful when the bugs start hitting you before you even get the game installed.

    • Pidesco says:

      Aren’t serial keys and the like implemented by the publisher and have nothing to do with the developer?

      Do you complain about Radiohead if the mp3s you bought from, say, itunes don’t work due to the DRM?

    • Jumwa says:

      The serial key issue was just one of a massive list of problems from a developer I’ve had nothing but problems with in every single buggy mess of a game they’ve made.

      I highlighted that one because it was so ridiculous that before we could even get into the game that terrible mess of a piece of crap that dared called itself a video game was haunting us. And it wasn’t an isolated incident, my partner had the same exact issue, as did one of our friends in another country.

      On top of that every single one of us experienced massive, game breaking bugs once we did get it working, and our friends gave up on their legally purchased copies to go the pirated route early on (though still gave up on it eventually because of what a mess it was). There is no shortage of crap in the pile of dung that is NWN2 to blame Obsidian for. And since every new game they release is done by a different publisher blaming it on the publishers sounds ridiculous.

    • Pidesco says:

      I’m sorry about your experiences, but the only problem I had with NWN2 out of the box was that the performance was rubbish. In fact, all of Obsidian’s games were playable and mostly bug free on release for me. Alpha Protocol probably had the most problems, I guess.

      And blaming on the publisher something that is handled entirely by the publisher isn’t ridiculous, it’s logical and expected.

    • Jumwa says:

      Okay then, you got me. That ONE problem is a publisher issue. But Obsidian has still been churning out awful messes of games that should be ashamed to go to launch. Even without the bugs NWN2 was just not a fun or interesting game to me, it controlled like guiding a giant hotdog cart down a hill using a wind sail and a metal pipe, and the story–or what I saw of it until my patience was fully exhausted–was nothing interesting, intriguing or enjoyable. Over all it was boring, uninteresting and played badly.

      I wish I had your luck, because I’ve REALLY wanted to like their games. REALLY wanted to. I was willing to overlook so much, and tamped down the bile they conjured up again and again. I kept buying their games with that naive hope that “It’s the publishers fault!” or that next time, those plucky lil’ guys will get it right, gosh darnnit! But no, they suck.

      I wont call games or developers bad because it’s such a subjective area, but Obsidian is just one area I have to make an exception. They’re bad. I’ve come to accept that and stop seeing them as what I WISH they were instead.

    • Marijn says:

      @Pidesco I’m sorry, but Jumwa is right – Obsidian is THE developer with the worst track record in the entire industry. Not ONE of their games has not suffered from widespread bug reports (KOTOR2, NWN2, Alpha Protocol and especially Fallout: NV (OMG Fallout: NV)). I’m glad that you were apparently spared the worst of it, but to say that their games are buggy is extremely uncontroversial.

    • Pidesco says:

      Honestly, among the big American RPG developers (Bethesda, Bioware, and Obsidian), not a single one releases games without a lot of backlash in term of bugs. In fact, I’d say Bethesda is the worst offender, not Obsidian. I never really understood why Obsidian has a worse reputation.

      In fact, regarding New Vegas, practically all of the bugs I’ve seen reported about it, were already in Fallout 3. And Oblivion. And Morrowind. Still, all over the web you could find people complaining that New Vegas had a lot more bugs than Fallout 3.

      Anyway, and back on topic, a lot of people have reported that Dungeon Siege 3 is the most polished Obsidian game to date.

    • Jumwa says:

      Comparing Bethesda to Obsidian just seems silly. I’m not defending Bethesda, they obviously release games with a fair number of bugs, but I have hardly heard anything about game-breaking bugs in Bethesda’s lineup of titles.

      And the fact that Fallout 3’s issues were still existing in New Vegas isn’t a slight against Bethesda, it’s a further slight against Obsidian for not taking note of that and dealing with it from the get-go. They acknowledged they were aware of fan mods for Fallout 3, and were taking what’s most popular to incorporate it (such as gun mods), but they didn’t think to address the bugs that were fixed in fan mods? Really?

      Bethesda makes massive games unlike anything else on the market, but they contain a fair share of bugs along with that, which they receive flak for. However, I don’t know of any reportings of widespread game-breaking bugs in their titles and have certainly never experienced any myself. Heck, New Vegas had save bugs that were eating peoples games from the get-go. It was such a wide spread problem they had to immediate hotfix in something to change the way the game was saving.

      My F:NV game got screwed up almost immediately, making the storyline unfinishable before I had even got close to seeing New Vegas itself. None of the bugs I experienced in my one playthrough of New Vegas were anything like what I or my partner experienced in our cumulative four playthroughs of Fallout 3. That’s anecdotal, but it’s also reflective of the general consensus from consumers: Fallout New Vegas WAS far more buggier than Fallout 3.

    • Pidesco says:

      Corrupt save games are common in all of Bethesda’s Gamebryo games. Also, expecting Obsidian to fix the bugs that Bethesda didn’t fix from Oblivion to Fallout 3 or from Morrowind to Oblivion is strange, especially considering that Bethesda had been working on that engine for the past 10 years.

      Oh, and guess who was responsible for Quality Assurance in New Vegas? Bethesda.

      Also, in the same way that my positive experiences with Obsidian’s games don’t invalidate your negative experiences, the fact that you had stable experiences with Bethesda’s games doesn’t negate that plenty of people suffered from game breaking bugs with Fallout 3, Oblivion and Morrowind.

      You can do a search for Fallout 3 bugs on the net for the fun of it, if you wish.

    • Jumwa says:

      Why would I need to look it up when you yourself established that Obsidian gets more complaints about bugs than Bethesda?

      Also you’re comparing totally different scales of bugs. Corrupted save problems with some people vs. almost everyone who ran the PC version on launch day having their saves vanish are hardly comparable.

      As Marijin laid it out, this is not a controversial stance. Obsidian is well known as the developer creating the buggiest games out there. Even the head of the company finally came out and admitted it after New Vegas. And never do they launch a game with the same publisher twice, that says plenty right there. How many games must they botch horribly before fans stop blaming the publishers? I know it took me stupidly long to acknowledge it, but c’mon.

      Never will an Obsidian title get a dollar from me again unless it gets lauded for its amazing and flawless performance.

    • Lars Westergren says:

      You are dodging the issue that many of the bugs are in the engine, and Obsidians task wasn’t to fix the engine. As for not having same publisher twice: they got contracted to do expansions to NWN2, and Mask of the Betrayer is rated by many to be one of the best RPGs since Planescape:Torment.

      They said FNV was buggier than they were happy with, they did not say anything about being the buggiest developer in the industry.

      Anyway, early rumors about this games says it is very polished and fun. I liked the demo.

    • Wulf says:

      All I get from this is that some people think it’s cool to hate on Obsidian, and then they’re surprised when that actually isn’t the prevailing opinion (check out the Fallout: New Vegas review here on RPS for funsies). I’m sick of people hating on Obsidian for utter bullshit reasons, to be honest.

      I’ve never had a problem with them, either. My only problem with NWN2 was performance too, but that’s because they went kind of Crysis-insane with it and decided to include high-end shit like per-pixel shaded shadows, which very few games even today do. So some of these really high-end options had to be turned off/down, then it was fine.

      Not to mention that Mask of the Betrayer was one of the most powerful dark fantasy experiences (and I mean dark fantasy, not gritty ‘yo yo hey dawgs we cuss some in our dirty armour yo’ fantasy) I’ve ever had, and possibly one of the most emotionally impacting storylines I’ve ever encountered in a game. I’ve never been presented with the things that Mask did. The Wall of the Faithless, somewhere your soul goes if you don’t choose a god to believe in, to be picked apart for all eternity. Time to do something about that? And then the whole thing about whether you’d offer your own memories and experiences, your very identity, to a being consuming you in order to save those around you. The most completely selfless act that I’ve ever had a character perform in a game.

      Obsidian at their best are genius story-tellers and present you with choices that will remain with you forever. But hey, IT HAZ BUGZ, RIGHT? Yeah. Like Obsidian are the first developer to release buggy products. Of course, it’s not like Dragon Age: Origins and Fallout 3 didn’t have some game breaking bugs in them at launch–oh wait.

    • Wizardry says:

      Mask of the Betrayer is rated by many to be one of the best RPGs since Planescape:Torment.

      I laughed.

      Obsidian games are terrible, but so are the games made by the rest of the “big three” (as someone here called them). Knights of the Old Republic 2 was just as bad as the first. All of the Neverwinter Nights 2 games had absolutely terrible combat compared to proper D&D video games. Alpha Protocol wasn’t even a proper RPG. New Vegas was just like Fallout 3 but with a better story/setting.

      Mask of the Betrayer best RPG since Torment? Best book since Torment more like.

    • ResonanceCascade says:

      @ Wizardry

      I’m sorry, but do you not like modern RPGs? Please, tell us more, we’d love to know. Humble us with your ultra-super-awesome RPG elitist powers, we beg of you.

    • JackShandy says:

      Wizadry, the phrase “Rated by many” pretty clearly sets that up as a “Many people seem to think this” statement, which makes a “No, this is objectively correct in every universe” style reply unfitting and inflammatory.

  12. ZIGS says:

    Great commercial, shame that the game itself is pretty lousy (don’t ask how I know it)

    • Zarunil says:

      Confirmed. It’s shit, which is a shame since I enjoyed both DS1 and DS2.

    • Outsider says:

      My opinion of it based on the demo is terrible. I downloaded the demo and put 10 minutes into it, quit and uninstalled it.

      I don’t usually go on about this sort of thing, but the game really, really does feel like it was made for a console in every way. The graphics are really quite lackluster and slathered with blur and bloom post effects to cover up that fact. The UI is clumsy, counterintuitive, frustratingly imprecise and the whole production seems about a fingernail deep. Defintiely 100% a skip for me.

      Interesting commerical concept though.

    • ResonanceCascade says:

      Aw dang, don’t tell me that, guys. I’d heard it was a non-buggy, super fun Obsidian game! Granted, the guy who wrote the article that made those claims liked Homefront, so…

    • Outsider says:

      Definitely grab hold of the demo, Resonance. As damning as my micro-review above is, it’s really just my opinion. You might find some worth or merit where I managed to miss it.

    • meatshit says:

      On the other hand, I found it to be a fun console style ARPG in the vein of Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance. If you go in expecting Dungeon Siege 1/2 or Diablo, you will be disappointed. However, if you judge it on what it is instead of what you want it to be, it’s actually a pretty entertaining little game. Haven’t experienced a single bug either.

      Also the demo is crap and doesn’t do a good job of showing off the game. The game starts slow and just about everything, including the abilities, enemies, setting and story, improves drastically by act 2.

  13. googoogjoob says:

    holy shit did they actually use harry nilsson in a commercial

  14. cjlr says:

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    • MonkeyMonster says:

      and in real life, and in the game (when it comes out)

  15. misterk says:

    Their jolly smiles as they stab orcs is genuinely disturbing. If I was an orc I’d pretty much be heading for the hills when I saw the loopy faces they were pulling.

  16. PatrickSwayze says:

    Total Bromance Trailer! I just sent this to my best friend on Facebook :)

    Best game advert I’ve seen for ages.

    I hope Square Enix do something similar for the new Deus Ex I really do, but that game has one the most po-faced fan bases ever that would probably call a boycott…

  17. Bureaucrat says:

    I don’t really get the premise of the commercial– “couch co-op” needs to be “welcomed back”? As anyone who isn’t too elitist to play games with “Lego” in the title knows, it hasn’t gone anywhere.

    • Pidesco says:

      Games like Dark Alliance or Champions of Norrath have been missing, though.

      Additionally, I think DS3 is the first ARPG of this sort ever released on the PC. All the ARPGs the PC seems to get are Diablo clones and first person games.

  18. Petethegoat says:

    Those fucking revolver sounds are the same in every goddamn game there is.

    • Oozo says:

      Let me express my shock upon that discovery with the only possible reaction:

  19. DuckSauce says:

    Wut Wut in the Sauce bottle?

  20. DoveBrown says:

    Fist Bump!

  21. dee says:


  22. Anthile says:

    I don’t know why, but I somehow thought this would take a dark turn and they get horribly murdered in the end. I think I’d enjoy that more.

    • Marijn says:

      I know, right? Totally had the same idea. Followed by “Dungeon Siege 3. Only try it at home.”

  23. PudgeTheButcher says:

    needs more dinosaurs

  24. Orvidos says:

    Has the jury reached a verdict?

    We have your honor.

    And that is?

    What the fuck.

  25. Tei says:

    I demand a movie lenght version of this trailer, filmed by Terrence Malik.

    Imagine it, the poetry of Terrence Malik, combined with the epic of medieval fantasy. Yep, the resulting movie would be longer than “The Return of The King”, but It will pure poetry.

  26. neems says:

    I wish they’d just left it out in the woods, instead of cutting back to the front room / sofa. ‘Oh I see, it’s a game… I thought they were actually killing (goblins? orcs?)’

    I suppose people might think it’s a new tv show or something.

  27. _Jackalope_ says:

    I think it’s a great ad, much better than most TV game ads. Really sells the fun of playing co-op.

  28. aDemandingPersona says:

    Awesome advert… the kitten was a nice touch.

  29. WJonathan says:

    I see no evidence of Mild Suggestive Themes. Maybe in the extended cut of the commercial they play together in the bottom bunk bed.

  30. pupsikaso says:

    Any reposts of this anywhere? Looks like the video currently linked was taken down.

  31. luckystriker says:

    I don’t know whether to laugh or demand my 1:35 back -_-