Team Fortress 2: Meet The Medic

Hot on the heels of free: a comedy short. It’s Meet The Medic, which I’ve posted below. It’s the tender tale of the medical relationship between the medic and the heavy. It features pigeons doves, severed heads, dodgy accents, blood, blood, and a broken heart.

The details of the Medic update are here. He’s getting a new gun, a new Ubercharge, and an ability to see enemy health.


  1. Batolemaeus says:

    I’ve long stopped playing Tf2, but I have to admit, that Meet the Medic was great.

  2. Chuck84 says:

    They really aught to make a movie. These Meet the Teams are getting better and better.

  3. McDan says:

    Sweet. Pigeons! Always funny that there video series.

  4. kikito says:

    Now I want a gun that shoots pidgeons :(

    • lurkalisk says:

      Or a pigeon that shoots guns…?

    • kael13 says:

      I’m pretty sure most guns can shoot pigeons.

      … Oh.

    • Dozer says:

      Doves! Those are DOVES! Because the medic is a man of peace!

    • arienette says:


    • Wulf says:

      Columbidae is confusing. :| There are variants of columbidae which have been specifically named either pigeon (rock pigeon) or dove (common ground dove), but pigeon and dove are often used interchangeably to refer to all variations of columbidae.

  5. Stomatopodal Pride says:

    A nice touch that only active players could have noticed is that, for some time before the actual update was released, the exploding corpse of a scout would have “magically” produced a dove from within its gibs.

    • SaVi says:

      Damn, I can’t call myself a fan anymore for missing that :P Fun stuff xD

  6. Theoban says:

    ‘Theoban approves of this’

  7. MartinNr5 says:

    Haha, this was great.

  8. RaytraceRat says:

    – Kill me…
    – Later!

    • subedii says:

      Well medics are a prime target of spies…

      …He’s totally going to stay that way isn’t he?

      EDIT: Haha, just noticed he’s right next to an overflowing ashtry. At least the medic gave him that.

      Also, who’s that person standing in the window when Archimedes gets hit by a chunk of heart muscle? The Administrator?

    • alice says:

      The consensus is that it is Ms. Pauling, the Administrator’s assistant from the comics.

    • Jackablade says:

      A more fun/crazy theory is that it’s not a shorter, fatter Miss Pauling but in fact an unmasked Pyro.

    • LionsPhil says:

      Best part of the video.
      Waaaaait a second…is that the same fridge from Meet the Sandvich?

      As for the figure in the window, it’s got too much of an hourglass shape to be the dumpy in-game Pyro, but does look too dumpy to be Miss Pauling. Yet appears to share her hairstyle! Mysteriousssss.

  9. grossvogel says:

    What’s it with Valve and birds?

  10. ImperialCreed says:

    Worth the wait.

  11. soldant says:

    This is pretty much how I remember my last time in an operating theatre.

  12. Olivaw says:

    You know, if there’s one thing Meet the Medic proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, it’s that Valve hires excellent composers.

    That music was incredible.

    • Stevostin says:

      Indeed. Same can be thait about L4D, Portal… They really take this as seriously as the rest. Ah, damn, that’s a good developer/publisher.

    • Keymonk says:

      I’ve been running the video on repeat -just- for the music. So I’ll chime in and say ‘hell to the yes, that is good music’.

    • Wulf says:

      I thought that was pretty much agreed and common knowledge, though?

      For years the ears of this visually disabled one have appreciated the efforts of Valve. It’s not particularly my listening style, so it’s not something I could sit and listen to, but… it fits the visuals so perfectly that it comes off as a gestalt, wouldn’t be the same without one or the other, and the end result is a feast.

    • DarkNoghri says:

      There’s a good reason I have a bit of Valve’s Engineer theme as my ringtone right now.

      Specifically, from about 50 seconds to whenever in the song “More Gun.” The original, without all the trains and harmonicas.

  13. Schaulustiger says:

    This was every bit as good as I hoped it would be.

    Now give me an animated series, Valve, pleeeeaaase. I’m willing to give you obscene amounts of money to see 20 minute episodes of this.

    • subedii says:

      I don’t know about a series, but I’d definitely be up for paying for say, a 30 minute animated feature. I could totally see myself buying something like that.

      There’s very few devs that have this kind of command over cinematics and humour.

    • Monchberter says:

      If you watch all the ‘meet the team…’ vids end to end, you’ve pretty much got a half hour featurette. ;)

    • Wulf says:

      I agree wholeheartedly, an animated series would be the best way to go. And hell, they could sell it per episode on Steam. I’d buy it. Even if every episode took eight months to finally arrive on a schedule that was supposed to be weekly.

      (Sorry Valve.)

  14. yurusei says:


    Oh hi there Miss Pauling.

  15. rocketman71 says:

    The only good thing about this update.

    Since Valve broke the game definitively with this update, I hope they at least give us Meet the Pyro soon (Valve Time, of course).

  16. The Dark One says:

    Pigeons are doves, Jim!

  17. Ralphomon says:

    Why can’t the Medic heal the Demoman’s eye?

  18. Kieron Gillen says:

    This has caused me to go and watch a load of the TF2 videos, and fuck me, “UNLESS IT’S A FARM” still makes me laugh too much.


    • Tomm says:

      The timing of that just cracks me up every time I watch it. One of my favourite Meet The Team videos.

    • CMaster says:

      That line is an all time great, in an excellently hilarious video.

    • Groove says:

      I tried to think of a better line, but there really isn’t one. It’s part of their cleverest joke, and the loudest and most ridiculous video.

    • DarkFenix says:

      “I’m not a crazy gunman dad, I’m an assassin”
      “Well the difference being one is a job and the other’s mental sickness”

      That one still gets me every time.

    • LionsPhil says:

      I noticed yesterday that the Steam “most watched” section of the Videos page was almost entirely “Meet The”s.

      “Meet the Medic” is climbing fast but has yet to dislodge “Meet the Spy” at the time of writing.

  19. HermitUK says:

    I don’t really play TF2 any more, as it’s a completionist’s nightmare. I’m sick of trying to keep on top of all the new weapons, and it annoys me too much if I don’t have access to them. Meet the Medic was excellent, though.

    • Tomm says:

      I can see how if you’re a completionist it’s a problem, but most people don’t play every single class, and Valve never intended for you to have every hat.

      In my case I play Pyro, Solider and Medic the most, so I only really care about their unlocks, which after each update I tend to get most of from drops pretty rapidly. In any case, if I don’t get them as drops it just adds to the longevity of the game with me working towards crafting them.

      Does it annoy you when you start every FPS and you don’t have instant access to all the weapons?

    • Walsh says:

      Here’s the difference, in just about every other FPS, it’s possible to unlock everything in a reasonable amount of time and effort. This game most of your non aesthetic unlocks are now basically random and arbitrary bullshit, which is maddening to a completionist. The few you get as part of class achievements take far too long imo.

    • MultiVaC says:

      I don’t know why someone would try to “complete” a multiplayer shooter. They are meant to be played indefinitely, and the amount of TF2 items that exist reflects that. You can never get everything in the game; that’s kind of the point.

    • HermitUK says:

      Hats I have no issue with, since they’re purely cosmetic (The odd silly hat-based set bonus aside).

      My issue with the weapons as opposed to, say, CoD or BC2, is that there’s no guarantee of getting the weapon you’re after. If it’s locked by some level up system, then simply playing the game brings you closer to it. With the random drop system, you’re waiting on a random dice roll every 20 minutes. The crafting system is also excruciatingly slow, given the sheer volume of weapons out there. Even just being able to break down one item to scrap (Instead of needing two similar items) would help. The old system of unlocking via achievements at least felt like a reward for some effort and skill.

      I like new weapons. I like having the extra tactical options available (though I also lament the loss of the somewhat less chaotic days of single loadouts for each class). I tend to flit around classes quite a bit while playing, as well. Just a casual glance over the new weapons from this update and I can see at least a half dozen unlocks for classes I play regularly that I’d be very interested in trying out, not to mention the rest that I wouldn’t mind getting hold of.

      TF2’s system is basically designed to drive people to the store, and it works, since I’ve shelled out for weapon packs in the past. But I don’t play the game enough to make buying them worthwhile, which also means I don’t play the game enough to unlock them for free. And the less I play, the further behind the times I get. Which rather drives me away from the game altogether.

      That said, it’s pretty clear this direction is working out rather nicely for Valve. And I can’t fault them for it – it may not have the same appeal to me any more, but for the game still to be lucrative in the microtransaction market four years after release is quite the achievement.

  20. Davie says:

    I love how the last two have been self-contained stories. They’re so brilliant.

    I love how casual the medic sounds when he’s not screeching things in-game. “Oooh, don’t be such a baby…ribs grow back. No zey don’t.” The voice actors deserve medals.

    • Groove says:

      They are credit to team!

    • Tomm says:

      Unfortunately about halfway through he started to sound a bit posh-British, but the video’s so good I can forgive it :D

    • Wulf says:


      He still sounded German to me, but I can see why you mixed it up. There’s a reason that there are strong similarities between the posh English and German accents. History, my good man! It is important. Casual posh German and casual posh English never sounded that far apart to me.

  21. CMaster says:

    Honestly, didn’t think it was as good as meet the Spy, or as funny as some of the others. That said, the easiest ones to do were always the funniest characters – Soldier, Spy, heavy. Great to see it anyway, and the free to play is no suprise or big deal.

    • Wulf says:

      I thought it was better than Meet the Spy personally for the same reason you mentioned. With this they had to put a lot more effort into it, it shows, and I enjoyed it much more. Meet the Spy I found to be incredibly predictable (though still funny, it was predictable). This? Not so much.

  22. int says:


  23. JFS says:

    Been waiting a long time for this. It’s, however, quite eerie. I hadn’t imagined the medic as some sort of psycho Frankenstein…

    • LionsPhil says:

      I’m wondering if the failure fo the blood to transfer to his forhead when he rubs it with his fingers is a tech limitation/goof or a deliberate attempt to hold the gore back to juuust within cartoon levels.

    • Wulf says:

      I always thought that the tesla-coil and Mad Scientist stylings give that away a bit. I was expecting him to be some sort of insane physician but… this caught me off guard. I didn’t expect them to go that far. But I man that in a good way.

  24. Optimaximal says:

    That was unreservedly epic. The music during the √úbercharge was immense!

  25. LionsPhil says:

    So, them actual updates, eh?

    Quick-fix: Can’t wait to try it out on some ubered scouts. Glad to see this moving out of the beta.
    Other two: Yawn?

  26. Tubby McChubbles says:

    I like how he wears gloves to fight, but not to dig around in chest cavities.

    • Daiv says:

      It’s… filssy in zere.

    • Wulf says:

      I think that was supposed to be some kind of metaphor, actually, considering that the gloves are red-ish too.

  27. jack4cc says:

    Here it is – the death of tf2, with unlimited retries after you get banned, and absolutely no reason not to cheat just because you can.

    • Monchberter says:

      Valve have admitted (as they always do) that everything is basically a test. If it doesn’t work, then they’ll change things to reduce griefers. It’s not much effort anyway for a competent admin on a reputable server to get the banhammer out. I imagine that to some extent this will be policed by the community. The idiots will still be out there, but Valve have said they will be keeping an eye on this.

      Anyway, who would want to lose their account after receiving a sweet, sweet random hat drop?

    • TillEulenspiegel says:

      Can VAC not ban by hardware ID?

      Alternate solution: make TF2 free to any account that has made at least one purchase.

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      That’s what I was thinking. You know how Steam remembers which pc you’re logging in from these days? Link that to VAC and cheating gets a lot less attractive. Not saying there’s no way around it, just that it would be a bit more trouble than it’s worth.

  28. Daiv says:

    “Are you SURE this will work?”
    “I have… *grins* NO IDEA!”

    Possibly the single best thing ever. Valve, you bow to no-one.

    • Wulf says:

      Yep. That, jazz and harps, and a few other things make this by far the best Meet the… for me.

  29. A-Scale says:

    Great video, but I was so sure they were going to introduce a gun that could bring people back from the dead.

  30. Starky says:

    The best bit of this whole movie is the title screen

    “copyright LOLOLOL
    A valve Picture”

    • DarkNoghri says:

      I love that. They’ve been doing it at least since the early vids, and it cracks me up every time.

  31. Tams80 says:

    Worth the wait. A lack of Pyro until the very end though…

  32. fifthdimensional says:

    “doves, severed heads, dodgy accents, blood, blood, and a broken heart”

    So basically it’s Hatoful Boyfriend.