WIN: Mount & Blade: With Fire & Sword

They can't actually fly.
But only if you live in the UK or Europe. NO REST-OF-WORLDERS ALLOWED! Sorry, we will have a competition for everyone later today.

Anyway, do you want a copy of Mount & Blade: With Fire & Sword? Do you? You know, the epic sandbox melee game made famous by the amazing diaries of Captain Smith? If so then email us at this address with a good name for a horse. The best horse names – as judged by us – will win copies of the game. Easy, eh? OR IS IT.

Usual rules ‘n stuff apply.


  1. President Weasel says:

    On my trusty steed ‘Warband is probably slightly better, but Mount and Blade is pretty good”.

  2. Baboonanza says:

    Fred Wester, CEO of Paradox Interactive!

    • adonf says:

      “When I’m rich I shall buy a horse and call him Notch.” (Can’t find who came up with this in the RPS comments. Some developer I think.)

  3. tomeoftom says:


  4. KauhuK says:

    I have the game already so I’ll withdraw my little pony name from this.

  5. Valvarexart says:

    I have the bestest name, but I am not going to post it here in case of copyright infringement.

  6. Teddy Leach says:

    Likewise, “A VD-Ridden Dong.”

    The sad thing is that horse names are sillier than that.

  7. gwathdring says:

    Thoroughbred of Sin

  8. gwathdring says:

    Anything other than Comet. You don’t want to give the horse ideas.

  9. Icarus says:


    (not really)

  10. gwathdring says:

    Why ride a horse?

    link to

  11. Shatners Bassoon says:

    Can I win the chance to get rid of my copy? Please, somebody take it!

  12. Freud says:

    Glue Maximus

  13. amandachen says:

    Run, Fucker.

  14. RedNick says:

    Vaseline Dream

  15. identiti_crisis says:

    Is Castle Shotgun harbouring zombie Bill Owen?

  16. mlaskus says:

    Ah, I would follow the same reasoning I used when I named my pet rabbit.
    I called him Pasztet – it is a Polish name for ground meat.
    My hourse would then be named Kabanos, it’s a kind of dry sausage sometimes made from horses.

  17. yhancik says:

    The best name ever for a horse is of course “Trust me, I’m a stomach”.

    I’m not sure I can come up with something better.

  18. Rossi says:

    Bostick the Incredible Adhesive Horse!

  19. Lolsmurf says:

    Easy as shit and probably the best name for actually everything:


  20. BathroomCitizen says:

    In Ultima Online I always named my horses “Oscar”.

    When one died the next one became “Oscar II”, “Oscar III”, and so on.

  21. Mr_Day says:

    I sent my entry in, and decided to repeat the name as I felt it was so good.

    Just realised that I changed the name slightly, so I say the name, then give an example of a warcry with a slightly different name.

    Thus the horse couldn’t possibly know I was talking about him.

  22. iniudan says:

    I got Queen Elizabeth face on my money does that count has been in UK ? (Canada) =p

    Got the game already anyway. =)

  23. Garret says:

    I demand more Captain Smith!

  24. gwathdring says:

    Pink Pheremone

  25. Chauvigny says:

    Her Highness Eleanor Feaslewut the third!

  26. aperson4321 says:

    Mobarak Qaddafi Assad

    (It might not be the nicest horse but Mount & Blade: With Fire & Sword multiplayer is not the nicest place)


  27. aperson4321 says:

    I take it back a better name is:

    NyanNyan HORSE, The rainbow shitting horse!

  28. Aankhen says:

    Question: since Warband and Fire & Sword are “expandalones”, that means you can’t combine the two, right? I’d like to try F&S but I love Warband.

    • Aankhen says:

      Welp, I tried it out and went running back to Warband with my tail between my legs. Those firearms are lethal in anyone’s hands but yours.

  29. FRIENDLYUNIT says:

    Only UK and Europe? What! Outrage.

    Well your loss, RPS. I had a fantastic entry.

  30. Psico_Payaso says:

    When is RPS gonna announce the Winners? Or were they already contacted and i lost the game? :D
    edit: BTW does anyone know what the hell one’s supposed to do with cattle in the game? Cause I remember looting some cattle in the demo and I was clueless. Since they followed you around you couldnt just sell them, right?