So Long & Thanks For All The Words, Quinns

caption competition!

Indeed yes, the herald spoketh true: The Boy is today leaving the company of the RPS elders in search of adventures new (and which don’t involve daily posting about PC games), hence our advertising for New!New!New! last week. It’s a sad day for sure and obviously his decision to depart the dank but loving walls of Castle Shotgun is a ferociously silly one, but who are we to deny a young man his wanderlust? So, we wish him all the very best and hope to see him offering occasional revisits to his singular blend of oddball comic analogy, passionate argument for a little-known gaming cause and panicked, determined diarising of disaster on RPS again sometime.

Quinns has already listed his greatest hits – the Quits, if you rather appropriately will – but you can browse the complete Smithsonian archive here. Sniff.

Farewell for now, young Quintin. Let your travels take you to grand places of merriment and fascination, and no doubt we shall see your fine words grace these pixel-pages again soon.


  1. clownst0pper says:

    Will he forever be known for his WOT I THINK of Fallout: New Vegas? :D

    • MontyTexas says:

      Ha! And for a day, RPS was like the rest of the internet. BURNING RAGE!

      Miss you Quinns! Sure wish you would stay.

    • WaveOfMutilation says:

      From the @planet_fallout twitter feed
      “@rockpapershot Quinns leaving? YES; YES; YES thank you!”

    • StingingVelvet says:

      It’s certainly what came first to my mind when I read his goodbye.

  2. Tei says:

    * removes hat *

    I remember he liking Bullestorm and somewhat disliking New Vegas, but the better was understanding why. Quinns represent a type of gamer. He is a cool cat.

  3. VelvetFistIronGlove says:

    So sorry to see you go, Quinns. May you find more iron in your new pastures!

    • Gpig says:

      While enjoyable, I did always find his writing to be a little anemic.

      edit: hm, anemia isn’t actually caused by lacking iron like I always thought. who knew?

    • MD says:

      It can be! I too had thought that anemia was by definition a lack of iron, which is incorrect. But there is a common form of anemia which is caused by a lack of iron.

  4. Turin Turambar says:

    I prefer to remember him as the writer of the Pathologic articles.

    • Ralphomon says:

      Me too. Excellent analysis of game I am never going to play.

  5. Vague-rant says:

    Qui(n)tin so soon? That’s the best I’ve got.


    Best of luck for the future.

  6. McDan says:

    I think I speak for everyone when I say: What a shame.

    You’ll be missed quinns.

  7. amandachen says:

    I thought Quinns was just a joke, not a real person.

  8. FKD says:

    Noooooooooooooo!! :(

    As much as I love this site (so glad I found it..) and prefer it above all others, I have to admit a big part of it was honestly hoping each day would bring another masterpiece like the Captain Smith articles. I always found that you wrote them in a similar way to how I look at/play games and it was not something I had ever seen done before, and I found they really drew me in.

    Best of luck to you! :D

    • edgeblend says:

      I concur, Captain Smith was sublime. You will be sorely missed Quinns.

    • Aankhen says:

      Awww, you made me sadface at the idea of losing that. :-(

  9. frenz0rz says:

    Oh dear. Sad news for us RPSers, but best of luck to you Quinns.

    At least now we can look forward to reading the next “Not Not Cardboard Children”.

  10. Schaulustiger says:

    This… wait… what? That came pretty unexpected :(

    Good luck in all your future endeavours, Mr Smith and may you write more than just a few pieces for RPS as a freelancer.

    Now I’m really curious who might be the new fourth writer.

    • edgeblend says:

      Dean Takahashi

    • Dreamhacker says:

      Roger Ebert

    • Ikkusei says:

      Peter Molyneux

      “Alright, that last article I wrote was shit, but the next one will be the greatest piece of games journalism you’ve ever seen!”

  11. Vinraith says:

    Best of luck in your future endeavors, Quinns. We hardly knew ye.

  12. ShadyGuy says:

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Captain Smith’s diary was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read on RPS. And now we’ll have no more diaries like that. :(

  13. Car to Pol says:

    I dedicate my first post to you. May you always point out the iron in our ways. I trust sunday’s papers will forevermore link to your work, wherever it should spring up.

  14. mlaskus says:

    Noooo! You were my favourite member of the Hivemind Quinns. Shame to see you go.

  15. Mr. Camel says:

    I’ll miss your writings. Best of luck for the future. :)

  16. Leyths says:

    Nooo! You will be missed, and best of luck in future :).

  17. Protagoras says:

    link to

    My exact feeling.

  18. noclip says:

    “the Quits, if you rather appropriately will”

    This is Shakespeare.

  19. Chris D says:

    Sad news. After reading his blog I always figured Quinns’ destiny was to one day leave RPS and become the new Michael Palin. I just didn’t figure it would be quite so soon.

    Bon Voyage Quintin, may your iron stocks always be plentiful.

  20. Zaboomafoozarg says:

    What a shame.

  21. Alethron says:

    Sorry to see you’re leaving, Quinns – good luck with all your future work, looking forward to reading more of your stuffs.

  22. Clockwork Peanut says:

    Will miss you quintin! Loved reading your stuff x

  23. dhrstoff says:

    Fare thee well! Hope to see you on the horizon now and again Mr. Quinns

  24. Unaco says:

    You know… I’m still waiting for the final part of the Song of Onionbog Dwarf Fortress diary. You shouldn’t be allowed to leave until that’s complete. We need closure!

    • P7uen says:

      Precisely, you’re not allowed to leave the RPS table until you’ve finished your onionbog vegetables.

      It’s like a nuclear submarine, all the RPS commenters have to turn their keys.

  25. corbain says:

    Very sad news, you were a writer who could deliver both quality and quantity. The site will be less good, yours have quickly become very big shoes to fill.

    All the best.

  26. Darwin says:

    And then…there were three
    Farewell ….

  27. Maldomel says:

    “I’ll jump in this underground river, and it’ll take me straight into a hole where I will not be able to breathe, and my asphixiated corpse will be carried down into the breeding chamber of Achk Kchk, King Of The Spiders, and he will use me as a condom.”
    – Quinns, Mine The Gap Day 5.

    That’s why I loved your writing style, for those moments when I was not reading an article about video games, but a real story with pure bits of random madness.
    You will be missed here.

  28. VelvetFistIronGlove says:

    I fear now that the position of fourth writer in RPS is like that of drummer in Spin̈al Tap.

    • Outright Villainy says:

      Or a drummer in Pearl jam.

      *ba dum tssh*


      Anyways, goodbye Quinns, we hardly knew ye.

  29. The Hammer says:

    In the words of Fansy the Famous Bard: THIS IS A SAD DAY INDEED. :(

    Quinns: The Cassanova of RPS.

  30. Pijama says:

    WHAT A DISGRACE. First the Once-Was-Kieron-of-RPS, now the Once-Was-Quintin-of-RPS.

    It is becoming clear that four are no longer enough. We need a veritable WARBAND of writers, for every loss is a dear, dear blow in our pc-gaming hearts. :(

    Honestly though, good luck mate. Farewell. \o

  31. Antsy says:

    Any old iron?

    Happy travels and good luck in the future Quinns.

  32. Conor says:

    I…the words…can’t…
    Iron Quinns is leaving? How can this be?
    This is a sad day. Best of luck in your future endeavours. Don’t forget about us :P

    And is it just me, or is there a bit of Bowie being evoked in that picture?

    In any case, so long, and thanks for all the fish.

  33. zipdrive says:

    Sorry to see you go, Quinns. Again those big pair of clown shoes, with soles scratched K.G, taped over and marked with Q.S., stand empty.

  34. Nameless1 says:

    No. :(

  35. Jerricho says:

    I feel a Blade Runner quote lurking, working its way through my forearms. I shall not let it past my wrists.
    Quinns, I love your writing and will miss it greatly. Good luck in them pastures new. *tips hat*

  36. ManaTree says:


    Sorry to see you go, Quinns. I’ll certainly be following your next exploits into the forays of the jungle that is video games. And in the game.

    Here’s to you.

  37. trooperdx3117 says:

    Why Quinns why?! How else am i going to get my daily fill of iron related writing!

  38. alexmasterson says:

    It has been a pleasure reading your words, Mr. Smith. Fare thee well on the open seas!

  39. Stupoider says:

    The QUINTESSENTIAL punny guy, you’re gonna be missed, Quinns.

  40. kyrieee says:

    Whyy? =(
    First Kieron and now you and I still need to play Pathologic

  41. Temple says:

    Well, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhure just about round about the time about I decided I quite like the chap -he leaves!
    This is just like my mother.

  42. rasputinsownbear says:

    It was Quinns’ Pathologic piece that brought me to RPS ages ago. Good luck, Quinns, we’ll miss you!

  43. Jake says:

    So long Quinns, I will always remember the Pathalogic article and the fact that you were only the second person called Quinn I had ever heard of, along with that medicine woman.

  44. LionsPhil says:


  45. Sinomatic says:

    I have a proposal. It involves glue, computer chairs and the remaining (and new) RPS writers. We need not suffer the same fate again.

    Who’s with me?

    • LionsPhil says:

      I approve of this plan.

    • Mr_Initials says:

      I agree but i also think this plan needs more rope. And see if we can trap Quinn before he leaves the country.

  46. Peter Radiator Full Pig says:

    Hear hear. Im was just getting used to him.
    I suppose its time he went out into the world, and put some Iron in his spine.

  47. Durkonkell says:

    Nooooooooooooo! The Quinns! IT CANNOT BE!!

    Captain Smith, Mine the Gap and various other contributions from you rank as some of the definitive best games journalism I have read. Man! And Not Cardboard Children! Who can possibly get me to buy things that aren’t computerised and take up far too much room now?

    Whoever they assimilate and stick into your alcove will have to be really bloody good!

  48. sinister agent says:

    I’m trying to do a caption, but honestly. The best I can think of is “You’ll need fresher material, Quinns. Tommy Cooper’s been dead for 27 years.”

  49. Edgar the Peaceful says:

    That’s a shame. I enjoyed Quinns.

    Now you’ve got to go all out for Tom Frances.

  50. sonofsanta says:

    This is why the job description t’other week had “must want to write for RPS as a dream job and not have an eye on what it can lead to”, then? As Quinns has used us all like the crusty Kleenex at the side of his monitor then left us when a new fancy lady (with a teapot) comes along.