Hey, Let’s All Play Snailiad

I’m a bit of a sucker for 8-bit inspired Metroidvanias. This one has snails in it too, so I was helpless to avoid clicking on “Play”. Snailiad is the name of the game, and you play as brave Snaily Snail, the hero of Snail Town, on a quest to rescue the missing snails. Sound snaily, no? But are you snail enough? I think I have said “snail” too many times.

Snailiad doesn’t really deviate too much from the backtracking, power-up hunting, formula of the giant’s whose shoulders it’s standing on, but it does have a couple of tricks up it’s sleeve. Being a snail, you get to climb up walls and ceilings, so you’ll have to explore both horizontally and vertically. The menus and HUD are all appropriately pixelated, but bits of it are very nicely animated too (the map screen in particular). The dialogue between the inhabitants of Snail Town isn’t quite laugh out loud funny (snails have a reputation for taking things a bit too seriously) but I definitely tittered more than once.

The music matches the 8-bit aesthetic, with lovely bleepy bloops that somewhat remind me of sounds from planet Funkotron. The OST is available as a free download here, isn’t that kind?

It’s a nice bit of fun. Simple enough, but with enough charm sprinkled throughout that it’s worth your time on a lazy Wednesday afternoon.

If you get stuck, there is a map/upgrade guide here.


  1. poop says:

    i cant think of any snail puns help

  2. Gotem says:

    Don’t worry, I think you’ve (s)nailed it

  3. identiti_crisis says:

    What a load of mollusc! We’d better all put our best (only) foot forward and mantle out of this hole we’ve dug for ourselves…
    EDIT: Ooh, double fail.

  4. Coffeespoons says:

    Ooh, an excuse for this one?

    A man goes to his mate’s fancy dress party with nothing but a naked girl on his back. “So what on earth are you supposed to be?” the host asks. “I’m a snail.” The man replies. “What a load of rubbish!” spits his host. “How can you be a snail when all you’ve got is that naked girl on your back?” “That’s not any naked girl, mate,” the bloke replies, “that’s Michelle.”

    • somini says:

      Incredibly Lame Pun. I loved it.
      What kind of accent do you need to read it correctly as My Shell?

    • Nighthood says:

      Non-southerners would say “my shell” as “me shell”.

    • itsallcrap says:

      In a sort of “working class” English accent, the word ‘my’ is often substituted with ‘me’.

    • Jake says:

      Would work well in an Aussie accent too.

  5. itsallcrap says:


    Am I still saying that right?

    It seems to have lost all meaning…

  6. drewski says:

    I kind of wanted this to be The IIiad with snails.

  7. Tom De Roeck says:

    ..is lewie the new quinns now then?

  8. Ian says:

    Shoulda called it Snail’d.

  9. amishmonster says:

    This game is about physics-bending quad-bike racing, right?

    • amishmonster says:

      Drat, Ian beat me to it. Always remember to reload and check for new comments…

  10. MrBeats says:

    These comments are just oozing with personality!

  11. Lewie Procter says:

    So no one played the game huh?

    • lurkalisk says:

      Actually played it on kong before reading about it here. Thoroughly amusing game, this one.

      That’s really all I have to say about it. Thoroughly amusing.

    • Berzee says:

      I didn’t play it, but that’s just because I rarely enjoy these “metroidvania” games very much. Usually I stop reading about a game as soon as that term comes up =)
      I like my *worlds* to be open but my *dungeons* (and platforming levels are basically a kind of dungeon) to be linear.

  12. SackManDoo says:

    The music is very nice indeed… and I was having decent fun until the birds of prey came in. They can chomp right on my dick.

    (yes i just suck)