RPS Says “Sorry” For Phone Hacking

We're just so very, very sorry we got caught.

Rock, Paper, Shotgun would like to address some of the serious issues raised with regard to phone hacking allegations made in recent days. We would like to wholeheartedly apologise for any wrongdoings that may or may not have taken place in the past by people who weren’t us. It is with the deepest regret that we recognise that a number of our stories may have involved the use of illegal phone hacking to gain information about pretend people’s lives, which none of us did. As a result Rock, Paper, Shotgun Ltd. has decided it is only appropriate to shut down The Sunday Papers, after 138 extraordinary years as the internet’s most popular round-up of games-related stories. While we were once proud and upstanding, we recognise that we have flopped and lost our way.

We would especially like to apologise to those affected by the stories obtained through what we now suspect were illegal means. Everyone at Rock, Paper, Shotgun is horrified to learn of the practises of former employees, and you may have noticed we recently let go Quintin Smith after his connection to the scandal was revealed.

We have learned that Mr Smith was responsible for stories such as our – shocking at the time – exposé of Max Payne’s drug problems, and his subsequent collapse into bearded misery.

It also seems illegal hacking was involved in our coverage of the affair between Gordon Freeman and Alyx, and we would like to apologise to both, who have not been seen since the story first ran in 2009.

However, the problem goes much further back. It is with the utmost regret that we confirm that people within the organisation were in fact responsible for commissioning the hacking of Modern Warfare soldiers’ communications with families, which led to our Pulitzer Prize winning coverage of the conflict. We have promised to give back what’s left of the prize.

Rock, Paper, Shotgun CEO Horace TEB gave a statement to press just a few minutes ago in which he made clear the severity with which this matter is being taken.

“That anything like this could go on in one of the companies within my organisation is just beyond belief, and I say that as someone for whom “beyond” is a complex concept. As a result of this, and in no way connected to my plans to purchase a controlling interest in G4TV, I am announcing that the world’s most popular round-up of games news, The Sunday Papers, is to close. This historic section was once one of the most revered and respected link round-ups in the world, at the front of great journalism and pioneering entertainment. But sadly it lost its way. I would like, at this stage, to express my support for Kieron Gillen, who despite being editor at the time of all the alleged offences, is in no way responsible for anything that happened, and I am proud to have him as the Chief Executive of my comics division. I stand by him absolutely, as strange as that may definitely appear since he obviously was involved. Thank you for your time.”

This Sunday’s The Sunday Papers will be the last ever, and all proceeds for the post will be given to a charity or similar. We will ensure that plenty of extra copies of the post will be available to meet what we expect to be extremely high demand for this historic occasion. Rumours of a new section coming to RPS called The Papers On Sunday are not confirmed.

Again, Rock, Paper, Shotgun would like to sincerely apologise for what Quintin did that none of the rest of us were a part of, especially to those affected by what were definitely only his actions.


  1. terry says:

    I see what you didn’t do there.

  2. Starky says:

    I demand public flogging!

  3. The_B says:

    You know the reason a Metal Gear Solid game hasn’t been seen on PC since MGS2? Because of people like you hacking his phone. Even if the main things they got was “SNAKE? SNAAAAAKE? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKEE!”

    • HermitUK says:

      They’re still sitting on about 400 messages they swiped from Mr N. Bellic’s phone, too. They almost ran a story about eastern Europeans coming over here and taking over our bowling alleys, but it got bumped off the front page by a picture of a cat playing chess.

    • Det says:

      Incidentally, the cat won the game after his opponent knocked over his own king while attempting to pet him.

  4. Daniel Klein says:

    To be fair, he lived in Ireland at the time, where crime isn’t illegal.

    • Brendy_C says:

      I resent this remark. Mainly because it is true.

    • TsunamiWombat says:

      In Ireland all criminals are forced to drink imported Irn-Bru until their teeth fall out.

      Usually takes about one bottle.

    • Web Cole says:

      What?! How dare you spread such slanderous lies about our national drink- er, our 2nd national drink!


    • cairbre says:

      We have laws in Ireland we just sometimes choose to ingnore them!

    • Inglourious Badger says:

      Especially spelling rules, I see

    • runtheplacered says:

      @ Inglourious Badger,
      Where are you at where it’s OK to ignore punctuation rules?

    • Kent says:

      You need to put a comma between “at” and “where”.

    • The Colonel says:

      And in any case, “where are you at” is really poor english

    • Malawi Frontier Guard says:

      Yeah, you need to drop that “are”. Really poor style.

    • Brendy_C says:

      In Ireland, we hang pedants.

  5. Raziel_aXd says:

    No more Sunday Papers? Are you fuuuu kidding me? Thank heavens it’s only being renamed.

    • McDan says:

      Same here, I was truly worried it was being cancelled then, but as long as that evil mastermind quinns got what he deserved then it should stay.

    • Deston says:

      RIP The Sunday Papers…. Long live The Papers on Sunday!

      I am fully expecting a ridiculously over the top TSP this week with a montage gazing back with rose tinted glasses at past work.

      And some tits. We’ll need some tits.

    • Dances to Podcasts says:

      I’m sure you’ll find some in the comments. Perhaps even on the third page.

  6. Mr_Day says:

    Kieren Gillen still claims to have been on holiday when the hackings occurred, but later changed his statement to read “I was dead at the time”.

    • TsunamiWombat says:

      This is of course a useless defense as he is dead all the time, his descessitated souless corpse being driven by fel eldritch sorcerys called from the Bounding Tome of Taliesin, the sealed texts of the wayward nigromancer-druid that served the Pendragon in ages past

    • Premium User Badge

      phuzz says:

      Mr Gillan would like to refute these allegations and stress that the only deity he has pledged his soul to is The Horned Rat

    • Bret says:

      Well, he was eaten by a monster for a couple weeks. Obviously, the monster was in on it.

    • Lord Byte says:

      Said monster may or may not have been a grue…

  7. Teddy Leach says:

    Hang the bastard.

  8. oatish says:

    They’re just closing the Sunday Papers to save their advertiser’s face.

    Watch them all flock right on over to the renamed Sunday bit where the same shit practices will continue…

  9. Kaira- says:

    The who did what now.

    No, seriously, I know this is probably a parody of something, but I have no idea what it could be. Anyone? Help?

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Google ‘News of the World’.

    • Askeladd says:

      Ah, now I see what you did there!

    • Lifebleeder says:

      Thanks for clearing that up John, I’m sure some of us on the other side o’ the Atlantic were all going “What the Eff?”

    • Jahandar says:

      Don’t feel bad, it went over my head too until I googled it (crazy BBC hiding pages from Americans). Anyway, my excuse is that I’m not from the UK, but I’ll try harder next time.

    • Matzerath says:


    • Daniel Rivas says:

      It was on the front page of several noo yawk timeses!

    • Andy says:

      Complete media blindness – an example of the very real side-effects of the Steam summer sale.

    • Carra says:

      It’s front page news even on the other side of the channel.

    • Kaira- says:

      Not in Finland, which is why I had to ask. :(

    • Devan says:

      Thanks for the clarification John.

      Wow, so using default passwords is considered hacking now? I’d think it falls under spying, but calling it “hacking” just adds to the general misunderstanding of computer security.

      Absolutely despicable thing to do; although I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that worse practices are common in the media. Still, any of those “victims” who intentionally left their voice mail password at the default setting are also at fault for being careless.

    • alantwelve says:

      “Still, any of those “victims” who intentionally left their voice mail password at the default setting are also at fault for being careless.”

      Indeed. And did you see the length of her skirt? She was clearly asking for it, m’lud.

    • lurkalisk says:

      I feel a strange pride having heard of this already, being from not there.

    • Jhoosier says:

      If I hadn’t spent the weekend with British friends who constantly brought this up, I would’ve been just as clueless.

    • Milky1985 says:

      Hacking is considered to be gaining access to a system your not ment to gain access to. Even if it is just typing in a default password you are not meant to be there (its quite obvious you are not meant to be there, its not your voicemail) and as such is hacking.

      its not really the method is the actions

      And yes before the purists kick up, hacking can also be basically fiddling with hardware and software to do extra things i.e “hacking in a new feature” and what i called hacking used to be known more as “cracking”, but our laungauge evolves over time and this is one of hte evolutiojns based on current usage of the word.

      BTW DDOS attacks are not hacking until someone gains access tot he system, this is something the media needs to learn as currently they claim everything as hacking which is what confuses matters.

    • tKe says:

      DDOS as an attack may not be hacking, but the means to cause a DDOS usually involves hacking. Considering a DDOS requires a large number of compromised “nodes” to achieve – how do you think those “nodes” are compromised?

    • mejoff says:

      “Still, any of those “victims” who intentionally left their voice mail password at the default setting are also at fault for being careless.”
      Even the murdered teenaged girl?

    • Devan says:

      “Indeed. And did you see the length of her skirt? She was clearly asking for it, m’lud.”
      “Even the murdered teenaged girl? ok”
      Rape and murder have nothing to do with voice mail security. Those are separate crimes which passwords don’t protect you from. Also, I made sure to say “intentionally” because I’m sure there are people who just didn’t know any better or didn’t know the feature existed. If you leave your car unlocked then you’re being careless. If you leave your receipt in the ATM you’re being careless. If you write your password on a sticky note on your monitor you’re being careless. Clearly the criminal is at fault for doing the crime, but there is also responsibility on those who intentionally neglect to use the available security measures which prevent those crimes.

      I’m sure the voicemail service came with instructions to change the password. Anyone who ignored those instructions has to accept that they put their information at risk.

    • j3w3l says:

      Considering he owns most of the American media its not surprising you didn’t hear about it since i doubt he would want such scandal displayed on his own tv networks/print

  10. Jimbo says:

    Karen Gollum was with me the whole time, m’lud.

  11. Darkelp says:

    As a consumer of this information I feel it is our fault that this hacking happened in the first place. If we didn’t constantly demand deeper and more informative news articles then Mr Smith wouldn’t of had to go to such lengths such as phone hacking.
    I feel it is not Rock Paper Shotgun who is to blame, nor is it the poor Mr Smith.
    It is us, the public, who is to blame, and for that we should all feel shame.

  12. colinmarc says:

    how does one phone-hack?

    • Dozer says:

      You need to purchase the Voice Analyser program, then find the company’s site using InterNIC, get the phone number of the system administrator, then phone him up (it’s always a bloke) while Voice Analyser is running.

    • President Weasel says:

      you wait until the phone runs past you then you take a savage kick at its ankles. Then you try to look innocent and surreptitiously check if the ref is watching.

    • Flint says:

      Through a minigame.

    • Premium User Badge

      phuzz says:

      (Ring up $mobilecompany’s voicemail, whilst ‘spoofing’ the number of the target phone and the voicemail system will considerately give you all the voicemail for that number. this is why you should have a PIN on your voicemail)

    • Coins says:

      I have no joke to make, I would just like to applaud Dozer’s comment.

    • timmyvos says:

      Uplink! Man, it’s been a long time since I’ve played it, I should buy it on Steam or something. Anyone know what happened to their new game? It’s been months since I’ve last heard something about it.

    • jRides says:

      @Coins – you are just being silly – President Weasel clearly won this subthready type thingy here. :)

    • Crimsoneer says:

      No need to spoof anything…if you hit * while the recording is playing, it assumes you’re calling from abroad to pick up your messages.

    • RegisteredUser says:

      With a Captain Crunch whistle, you phreaks.

  13. Andy_Panthro says:


    I will certainly never be purchasing your paper ever again (after I get myself a copy of the final issue of course, so I can sell it on ebay many years later).

    Also – what’s this I hear about the website for “The Papers on Sunday” being created several days before this story broke? It’s almost as if you try and play us for fools!

    I also find it hard to believe this went on behind Horace’s back, so such corruption must surely go straight to the top!


    Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells.

  14. CMaster says:

    I can only imagine that the Americans will be much confused by all of this. Good.

    Anyway, don’t forget to send a message to Jeremy Hunt about how you don’t want Horace TIB controlling your TV!

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Now you HAVE lost the Yanks.

    • TsunamiWombat says:

      No sir I believe you can thank Marquess Cornwallis for -that- particular loss.

    • ResonanceCascade says:

      As an American who is well-informed in world affairs and stays incredibly current on the news, I must say that I both got the joke and resent your British chauvinism. Now I demand a fight to the death!

    • NateN says:

      “I can only imagine that the Americans will be much confused by all of this. Good.”

      Oh come on now, it’s been front page news on this side of the pond as well, even made to the big papers like the Wall Street Journal and the New York Post.

      I think Fox News might even report on it one of these days….

      “Anyway, don’t forget to send a message to Jeremy Hunt about how you don’t want Horace TIB controlling your TV!”
      *blank stare*
      *reads link to en.wikipedia.org *
      *Google Horace TIB – nothing *
      Ok, now THIS one I don’t get…..

    • Delusibeta says:

      Murdoch is attempting to take over BSkyB, probably the largest broadcaster in the UK outside of the BBC.

      Horace The Infinitely Long is the boss of RockPaperShotgun (running gag detected).

    • MartinNr5 says:

      @NateN: CMaster abbreviated Horace The Endless Bear wrong.

    • mejoff says:

      Jeremy Hunt? The Hulture Secretary?

      “I think Fox News might even report on it one of these days…”
      Only in order to blame Liberals for the whole thing. It’s a Murdoch mouthpiece itself, after all.

    • CMaster says:

      I wrote Horace TIB despite thinking it was wrong as I was sure that was what the article used. Either they’ve changed the article or I misread before.

  15. Premium User Badge

    gritz says:


  16. Hunam says:

    If I’m going to be honest, these irony lol articles you’ve started doing these last few months all just fall flat on their face.

    • John Walker says:

      Well said.

    • TsunamiWombat says:

      Get that man an award, if he was over here in the colonies he’d be given the pulitzer.

    • Dozer says:

      If he were a Purlitzer candidate in any of the colonies he’d be an employee of Horace TIB, for there are no media outlets and hence no journalists beyond his endless reach.

    • Hunam says:

      Fixed it now, slight typo messed the whole thing up whilst editing. :)

      Although I bet if I commented on the spelling or grammar of an RPS post I’d have them fuming through the twitter holes in seconds. Food for thought eh?

    • John Walker says:

      If that post were one in which we insulted you and said you were bad at your job, then I’d imagine we’d be more lenient.

    • Dozer says:

      Still it should be ‘flat on their faces’ surely? Unless you mean all John’s parody articles share one single face?

    • Hunam says:

      Insulted you and said you were bad at your job? That’s taking a minor criticism a bit too far. More so in an article which you yourself are insulting and entire company and saying they are bad at their jobs.

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Yeah, I think you’re the one reading too much into the post.

    • realmenhuntinpacks says:

      Agh Hunam, getting behind The Screws are we? And what part of ‘your article’s a bit shit’ isn’t insulting? Personally the only reason I read RPS is for the colour this sort of thing provides. It’s called FUN

    • timmyvos says:

      Isn’t it satire and not irony?

    • Coins says:

      Humour is like taste, it comes in many flavours and fighting about it just makes you look like a tit.

    • realmenhuntinpacks says:

      Sorry Coins, must remember to stop sticking up for things I like. PS: I am a tit, so nae both.

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Yes, it is satire.

    • Hunam says:

      Well I’m just expressing my opinion. If you don’t agree with that it’s perfectly fine and I was more than happy to edit my original comment when people pointed out my errors, despite the way they chose to convey that. But I find it a bit much that I get this hostile a response by criticising and article by someone who has chosen to criticise, both negatively and positively others peoples work as a full time job. I love RPS as much as the rest of you, really I do, and I’m a big fan of John’s work, but I’ve just not been enjoying these sorts of articles and wanted to comment.

    • Bilbo says:

      It isn’t really worth criticising RPS in the comments. They’re always super pissed about it and there’s always a chorus of fans to back them up. It’s better just to think to yourself, “Well this one’s a bit rubbish, moving on” than to speak up around these parts. But then that’s the case with internet commenting in general

    • felisc says:

      beuhah. go rps silly posts, i like you like a pizza.

    • DiamondDog says:

      Criticise at your own peril.

    • James G says:

      I’m confused. Has something substantial been edited from the debate here? This reads like an argument with all the points removed.

    • noom says:

      “More so in an article which you yourself are insulting an entire company and saying they are bad at their jobs.”

      You’re sticking up for News of the World here? Really? REALLY??

    • Hunam says:

      Nope, not even slightly defending the NotW. If such a thing was even possible.

    • realmenhuntinpacks says:

      Fair enough old beans. Spirited debate keeps the constitution lively, no offence meant! Here, have a contextually confusing internet kiss X

    • John Walker says:

      Hunam – can I give you a tip? If you want to criticise, then criticise. Saying, “these articles all fall flat on their face” as a statement of fact, without saying what is wrong with them, is just calling me bad at my job. You’re welcome to do that, of course, but expect a response. And don’t act all shocked when you get a response. I don’t know what you do for a living, so I’ll say you’re a bus driver. I can imagine that if I were to get on your bus and announce to all the passengers, “He is bad at driving this bus,” you might understandably be annoyed.

      The reality is such articles don’t fall flat, by any measure of flat falling I have available. They tend to get lots and lots of readers, and good feedback. I think what you’ve confused with your perceived fact is your opinion. The problem is, when you say what you really mean:

      “I don’t find these sorts of articles funny.”

      It looks a little bit silly. Like going into an Indian restaurant and loudly explaining to all the customers, “I don’t like curry”.

      So instead you opt for, “Curry is bad!” But you meant the silly-sounding thing. I’m just saying.

    • Hunam says:

      So what you’re saying is that I should preface everything here has my opinion before stating that opinion. Instead where generally, anything said in comments is an opinion, and my opinion was that they fall flat on their faces. I’d wager if I put ‘I think’ at the start of the comment I’d have gotten the same response.

      However, I didn’t say I don’t like curry, I said I don’t like this type of curry. If I was in a curry house they would just think they can’t win them all with one curry and suggest I try another. Your curry example as it stands is kind of a straw man argument.

      But equally so, I find it hard to take your comments at face value because it’s almost like you’re sticking your fingers in your ears going “lalalalacanthearyou” when someone says something you don’t like. I don’t feel anything you have said has been a direct insult at me and I still find it odd that you felt my comment was a scathing attack. Instead you seem to try and insist that I must be wrong, or that I must be insulting you, which I feel is a little childish.

      If you want my opinion again, I think I am just mostly disappointed. Obviously I’m not the only one judging by other comments from people who suggest criticising RPS just isn’t worth it because again, opinion, is that RPS has a reputation for taking it badly. Something which I have noticed before myself. You honestly can’t expect to write something like this and get just pats on the back.

    • John Walker says:

      Criticism is not saying “X is bad.”

      Criticism is saying WHY X is bad.

      I absolutely haven’t stuck my fingers anywhere, since I’ve directly responded to your inaccurate claim, countering it with some reality.

      There are negative comments on every article that gets a lot of feedback. It’s fine. But your comment was unconstructive, no matter how much you want to pretend otherwise. You keep trying to accuse me of failing because I give a response to your inaccurate claim, but – uh – uh – huh?

      Why not actually take a stab at saying WHY these articles do not meet with your approval?

    • DiamondDog says:

      Hunam, for the love of God edit IMO onto the end of your comment before this gets worse. You risk a shushing. And keep negative opinions to yourself, this isn’t the place for them.

    • Hunam says:

      Now you are just arguing over semantics. You are claiming that all criticism must be constructive criticism, which isn’t true. I said why I don’t like these types of articles I just didn’t constructively say why, so on that basis you are entirely correct. But you were the one who is attempting to move to debate in that direction as it best serves your purposes. I never said X is bad. I said X falls flat on it’s face. Which is explaining why, just not constructively in the detail you would like.

      I maybe expected a response from you, but when I did, I just found it funny that you responded in a way that you yourself have said in the past you find distasteful. You then went out your way to claim that my opinion was stated as a fact, when inherently saying something falls flat on it’s face is an expression of an opinion. Then you chose to take umbrage at the fact I said it on here, a comments section of your article of all places by bringing up two poor examples in which you manipulated the situations in which what I said would cause great offence. Altering not only my words to a definite fact as what I said wasn’t (the whole X is bad is a misinterpretation of what I said) but also changing a situation to where a comment would be inappropriate, like on a bus or loudly exclaiming in a resaurant.

      Now I’ll give an example, let’s say you told a joke to 5 people, 4 of them laughed and one said it wasn’t funny. Is that one person wrong? Of course not. It’s comedy, a very subjective topic anyway. But because you have your statistics which say lots of people like it and you get good feedback then I must simply be mistaken. Which we both know is just you skewing the conversation into something you can justifiably defend against. Your position is clearly that with the information you have at hand that these articles are good because these people said so. I doubt you went to question each of them because they gave the answer you wanted.

      The conversation stopped being about why I don’t like your article a long time ago anyway. Any time I have said how you attack anything you don’t agree with and how you simply change what I’ve said so it is an attack on you to strengthen your argument, you have ignored it. I’m frankly surprised you have suggested that maybe I’ve read your article wrong, or I don’t know how to read satirical articles. I mean after all you tried to suggest I don’t like satire with your curry example.

      What it comes down to is that you are upset thatI dared to say something you don’t like. I’m just battling with your ego now. I am just a name on the internet. I’ve got no investment in my online persona like you do so I don’t have to play by what ever rules you feel I should by explaining everything I say. You’ve not disagreed with me once during this, you have said I was wrong and you, by default, must be right.

    • realmenhuntinpacks says:

      I’m rescinding that kiss, by the way. I think Godwin’s law needs to be updated to include the word ‘childish’ – not an appropriate way to criticise a person defending their own creative work, which is all John’s doing, which he has as much right to do as you have to raise your point in the first place. You are STILL shouting in the curryhouse, my madras is going cold and you’re upsetting my wife. It seems you will keep prosecuting this line of argument until John gives in, which I doubt will happen, home turf etc (as a side note, having read RPS since its’ inception, this is the most I have ever commented. What’s wrong with me?).

    • mejoff says:

      Stop having fun guys!

    • John Walker says:

      Man alive, even now you still won’t just say what’s wrong with the articles!

      Saying that I’m not willing to listen, and refuse criticism, and then repeatedly ignoring my request for you to criticise me is just plain confusing.

    • Hunam says:

      Haha. Point proven, Thanks John.

    • John Walker says:

      You got me there!

    • Hunam says:

      “Oh hush”

      /wink /nudge

    • Dozer says:

      If I’m honest, all of Hunam’s comments fall flat on their (collective) face.

      Objectively speaking.

  17. _Jackalope_ says:

    You rotten bastards. Max lost his whole family and then got stuck in horrendous platform nightmares and used his pain to boost your readership! the man is a hero!

  18. bwion says:

    Your fine words,Mr. Walker, cannot hide the fact that RPS International consists completely of pathetic creations of meat and bone. No matter how much you may pant and sweat as you run through my corridors, your days of hoping to challenge a perfect, immortal machine have at last come to an end.

    S. Dan (Ms.), Citadel Station.

    • McDan says:

      I’m commander shepard and this is my favourite comment on the citadel.

  19. HermitUK says:

    “You’re in a tabloid scandal, Max.”

    The truth was like a green crack through my brain. Scoop-hungry reporters crowded on my front lawn, glimpsed through the gap between the blinds. the repetitious click of camera flashes. The paranoid feeling of someone listening to my voice messages. I was in a tabloid scandal. Funny as Hell, it was the most horrible thing I could think of.

    • Dozer says:

      They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation mark to everything that had led to this point. I released my finger from the trigger. And then it was over. To make any kind of sense of it, I need to go back three years. Back to the night the pain started.

    • The Hammer says:


    • Dreamhacker says:

      I still disagree with the RPS/EG sentiment that the writing in Max Payne was bad. It’s a pure genious noir homage! He who wrote that article must have been involved in phone hacking!

    • Dozer says:

      The rain was coming down like all the angels in heaven had decided to take a piss at the same time. In a situation like mine, you can only think in metaphors.

      The night was grim as death. I felt right at home. Dope-peddling murderers in their expensive suits were crawling out of the woodwork all around me. The only suits they were going to be wearing after tonight – were bodybags.
      “It’s Dick Justice! Get him! Get the freaking cop!”
      “Your trial will be held at the city morgue.”
      I had a permanent, constipated grimace on my face. I was revenge, personified.

      <3 Dick Justice.

  20. tossrStu says:

    This whole imbroglio is epiphenomenal.

  21. emotionengine says:

    But… what has Dave Tosser got to say about this???

    Also, I take it that yesterday’s final Sunday Papers’ mention of “a huge breakdown”, “crunch” and “hilarious/incredible” are just a few of the many clues left by the outgoing staff to their true position on the RPS management.

  22. The JG Man says:

    I want to know how this will affect the transition to the Free To Read and premium models of reading RPS that you discussed earlier. Will you be deferring that decision to the FTP Commission so that they can independently review the situation?

    (Also, the mouse-over is particularly funny because it’s clearly true.)

  23. man-eater chimp says:

    I feel sorry for all the innocent RPS writers who’ve lost their jobs over this scandal!

    • mejoff says:

      I bet you feel sorry for all the builders on the 2nd Death Star too! They know what they were working for.

  24. DaFishes says:

    I hope no one googles Quintin and thinks he really did get let go because of phone hacking. People think Onion articles are real all the time…

  25. Tams80 says:

    This does still not account for the fact that Kieron Gillen openly admitted to paying Steam.

    • McDan says:

      He would probably say he was dead at the time again, but seriously I missed that. When was that said?

    • Tams80 says:

      I must admit the latter part of my attempt at humour was rather lackluster.

      It’s a reference to Brooks openly admitting to paying the police.

  26. snotgobbler says:

    I’ve had a hacking cough for days. If this isn’t your fault, is it Mr Mudrock’s, or should I blame that gruesome Medusa with the flaming red hair?

  27. Navagon says:

    Now MPs are calling for Horace to stand down. Insensitive pricks! Horace can’t stand down. How can one who is infinite not be everywhere at once?

  28. Drake Sigar says:

    Now if we can just kill The Sun…

    • Navagon says:

      Looks like the Times is already the next in the firing line. No wonder Murdoch wanted to draw a line under the whole affair by closing NotW down.

  29. Dana says:

    What ?

  30. Bilbo says:

    Too soon. They hacked victims of crime.

    • Navagon says:

      You might have only just found out about it, but for those affected this is years old already.

    • Bilbo says:

      You kind of have a point, I’m not wholly convinced it’s old news for everyone affected though – seems to be very much in the public eye at the moment, and the victims are almost certainly being swept up in proceedings – but it’s a minor criticism, i’m not banging rubbish bin lids together outside RPS towers about it

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Yes, not ‘too soon’ in any sense of the phrase.

    • Bilbo says:

      Well, Teddy, I disagree. Hundreds of ordinary, hard-working people lost their jobs on sunday when News International closed the News of the World to save face and the jobs of the top brass- it’s pretty fucking soon for them, isn’t it? And restating former point about the victims being dredged up by the public fervour because you obviously ignored it.

    • Dozer says:

      For wholesome behaviour look elsewhere than News International. I have some sympathy for the redundant journalists, but not enough to stop me dancing on the grave of News of the World.

    • Bilbo says:

      Guess it’s point-missing day already. Comes around so fast! My sympathy isn’t with News International, nor do I expect “wholesome” practices from them – although I’m not at all happy about that state of affairs – I simply find making jokes about this situation while it’s all still breaking to be a bit near to the knuckle, that’s all.

    • John Walker says:

      For future reference, Bilbo, what is the amount of time that we must allow to pass before topical jokes can be made?

    • TsunamiWombat says:

      You have to wait for them to do it on the Daily Show firs- oh wait they already did CARRY ON.

    • Dawngreeter says:

      “For future reference, Bilbo, what is the amount of time that we must allow to pass before topical jokes can be made?”

      72 years.

    • Bilbo says:

      I think that judgement is part of the art, John – you figure it out. Besides, I think I’m the only person who finds this to be in slightly bad taste, so I think you’re golden anyway

  31. Unaco says:

    Yet when I said in the RPS Steam chat room earlier today, that Quinns’ dismissal was due to his reprehensible acts regarding the hacking of telephonic devices, you all laughed at me*. Well, who’s laughing now?

    And what, pray tell, do the other Hivemind members have to say about the repeated warnings given to them just before the hiring of Quinns, regarding his chronic and well known Iron deficiencies? RPS are largely responsible for their own problems here. I’d say it’s 92% their own fault. 6% can be blamed on “the weather” and the remaining 2% on Right Said Fred’s inability to follow up their 1992 Debut Studio Album, Up, with anything approaching the same critical and commercial success.

    Also… Outrage!

    * I will point out that I actually said it as a joke, and so was expecting some laughs.

    • McDan says:

      I remember laughing when you said that, but then again I did just see someone get blown out to space through an airlock, so, y’know.

  32. Deano2099 says:

    I am really tempted to start tweeting various RPS advertisers asking if they’ll reconsider after these shocking revelations. But then I see that this story hasn’t got much traction outside of the UK and people might not get it…

  33. mpk says:

    Never mind the phone hacking, they’ve tagged half my postcode. Come and get me, fuckers! I’m ready for you.

    link to img5.visualizeus.com

  34. sinelnic says:

    Glad to see Horace promoted from Deity to CEO.

  35. Serious J says:

    I <3 RPS

  36. Bahumat says:

    Please don’t be joking about a new Sunday Papers replacement article thing, okay RPS guys? I’ve been a reader here for a long time, and the Sunday Papers are my one “Must always read” article here that I can rely on. Rename it, that’s cool, rejig it, fine, but please don’t lose that delicious day of gaming journalism and fascinating reading.
    Also, please with the lots more gaming journals/narratives.
    Also also, joining in with the one feller earlier in the comments who said these ‘lol irony’ posts are falling flat. Sorry, RPS, I speak up out of love, but topical humour about political scandals isn’t why I come here; and it’s a little alienating.

    Re: John Walker, below:

    Yes, but they were mostly rubbish.

    Also, don’t you Shhhhhhh me, mister. I’m not being Raving McTrollerson. I am, in fact, being Paying McCustomerson, Who(m) Is Giving You Constructive Feedback.

    We’re kind of at a premium these days, and being Shhhhed for it can only make us more so.

  37. Gundrea says:

    This is a smokescreen to hide the furore over the comment moderation scandal.

    That’s right, RPS have been editing your comments toI LOVE ALEC

  38. JohnArr says:

    I remember when John ‘The Satirical One’ Walker was just, ‘The Funny One’.

    They grow up so fast.

  39. Raiyan 1.0 says:

    I know this is satire, but seriously, don’t joke about ending The Sunday Papers. If you do, I’ll hunt each of you down, and… never forgive you.

    We’ve already lost Mod News. We’ve already lost Quintin. It’s not funny.

    (Of course, I mean the implications aren’t funny. The write-up was a fine piece.)

  40. abremms says:

    maybe i’m just more informed than the average america, but I found this post topical and entertaining.

    if only the bits of newscorp on this side of the atlantic would get themselves caught up in a simlar cockup…

  41. noom says:

    EDIT: reply fail… sure it wasn’t when I posted it though >_>

  42. Dexton says:

    I blame the Guardian and the BBC

  43. fitzroy_doll says:

    Peter Mandelson was in Max Payne? Was he some kind of evil boss?

  44. Tenver says:

    So that was what happened.

    Can I get my phone messages back please somehow?

    But it’s okay. In 6 months I will have forgotten and you will be rich again!

  45. Squishpoke says:

    Goddamit, Quinns. Goddamit.

  46. Zaboomafoozarg says:

    What a shame.

  47. Kieron Gillen says:

    It’s a fair cop.


  48. golden_worm says:

    So when Quinns said (oh so controversially) during the Fallout New Vegas Wot I think, and I quote, “It is the sound of Obsidian phoning this game in.” he was actually stating fact because he had just hacked their voicemail service.
    All of which is beside the point because the Editor of the Sunday papers, Jom Rissignol, has not been removed and is equally to blame for this oversight in covering up the truth. The previous editor, Kelron Whatsisface, was a smut peddler for sure but he did have standards and no-one ever caught him acting inappropriately with a mobile phone, except that one time, and that was just for cheap thrills off the vibration setting.

  49. OJSlaughter says:


  50. bluespacetiger says:

    I just wanted to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this satirical piece, as I have previous pieces. I personally really like reading this sort of thing on Rock, Paper, Shotgun. If I did not, I would skip such articles.