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Eurogamer Say: Borderlands 2 Is Being Made

This man knows the secrets.

Eurogamer, the crazed news sniffing addicts they are, have caught wind of the development of Borderlands 2. There have been rumours for a while, and Randy Pitchford even told EG that they would likely be returning to it at some point post Duke Nukem Forever. But how do they know it is definitely being developed now? A “source” told them. Suspicious. The real truth is below.

Of course there’s no “source”. That’s the lie Eurogamer tells to cover up their practising of witchcraft. Tom, Ellie and Oli all stand around a cauldron, cowls covering their faces, as they chant and wave their arms over the bubbling surface of the noxious liquid. When their spell is complete, and the foot-skin of the relevant developers is stirred into the pot, the surface shimmers and then shows them an image of what that particular studio is currently working on.

It’s a practise that has long been frowned upon in games journalism, ever since Amiga Format began the dark art. Sadly there doesn’t appear to be any sign that Eurogamer will stop, and any who have tried to intervene have mysteriously had boils appear on their faces, and all their hair fall out.

No more details about the game are yet known, and 2K haven’t gotten back to Eurogamer yet to confirm their darkly-discovered information.

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John Walker

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One of the original co-founders of Rock, Paper, Shotgun, I'm now a senior editor and hero of humanity. Old and special.

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