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Guild Wars 2: Goddamn Plant People!

Look at his hideous green face. Horrible.

Plant people! It’s an abomination, I say. If plants were meant to be people then God would have given them the vital organs to be human, like eyes and shoes. ArenaNet, however, see nothing wrong with creating a leafy mockery of the human form with their “Sylvari”. They’ve gone as far as to blog about it in detail here, and also to detail their visual appearance here. Not an Ent in sight, though, so that’s some small reason to be thankful, I suppose.

Anyway, it’s appalling. They’re almost as heinous as those monstrous anthropomorphous plants in Popcap’s ridiculous Plants Vs Zombies. As if pot plants could ever defeat the undead. You’d need trees and stinging nettles at the bare minimum.

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Jim Rossignol

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