Not Cardboard Children: Rab Is Away

There he is. Sigh.
Rab is away this week, so no Cardboard Children. I barely know anything about boardgames, so I won’t bother to try and fill you in, and instead I will turn to the previous fill-in guy and ask if he’ll talk about boardgames for us. Oh, he will! That’s great. Perhaps he’ll provide us with a video to post in the empty space below? Good! Okay then.


  1. JB says:

    I do so love SU&SD. Roll on episode 4, says I.

    • Quintin Smith says:

      Episode 4 will be out in a handful of days! It is a crazy big technical improvement on ep 3. You’ll see.

    • DrGonzo says:

      I’d never seen the show before, but I’m gonna be watching them all now. It was fantastic, thanks!

    • Muzman says:

      It is cool. But it’s nearly impossible to find if you happen to forget the name (or was as of a week or so ago).

    • Alethron says:


    • Hidden_7 says:

      They took Quinn’s salmon background away?! I don’t know why, but that seems vaguely cold.

    • JB says:

      That’s great news Quinns. My daughter very much enjoyed episode 1 yesterday, especially the Ghost Stories section and the end of the Memoir 44 =)

    • James says:


      It was probably Jim, being mad with power. “Ooo, we can’t let Quinns misrepresent us!” cries Jim, like a baby.

    • Richeh says:

      This is the first time I’ve seen SU&SD, and I like it. Although it has to be said, Quinns, I find the length of your dressing gown intimidating.

  2. Reivles says:

    Is it wrong that I got excited when I realized it wasn’t a normal Cardboard Children? Not being rude – Cardboard Children is generally fun as a ‘humor column’ style article – but the prospect of an actual, proper review of a board game…

    • LowKey says:

      it is wrong

    • Nick says:

      I don’t see what this did that Rabs doesn’t.. (subjective humour differences aside) its hardly a po-faced review either.

    • President Weasel says:

      you are entitled to your wrong opinions
      (is amusing comedy-type joke, just in case anyone’s getting itchy moderating fingers)

    • Uthred says:

      Have any of you whingers actually read the “proper” reviews that Cardboard Children started with?

    • Duke of Chutney says:

      there are plenty of other places on the internet for “proper” board game reviews SUSD being one of them. If you want written reviews, google either Drakes Flames, or Fortress Ameritrash. I like Robs column because it reminds me that those north of the Border are Humans too.

      Rob when are you going to review Hammer of the Scots?

      link to

    • LowKey says:

      I love Rab’s reviews for the pure enthusiasm he conveys in each one, which I find very infectious

    • gwathdring says:

      Rab writes more serious/practical reviews from time to time. The Ghost Stories article was ace on all fronts–great gameplay examples, good meaty mechanics examples, some more old-school onpinioning, and it still had the tell-tale eccentricities of style Rab like to add to his less old-school opinioning. If you want the more practical reviews, vanilla Carboard Children has those two. Just keep checking in, and you’ll find it one of these weeks. The rest of us can read them all and enjoy the variety.

      I love Shut Up & Sit Down. It has a lot of ridiculous humor with some nouggaty analysis in the middle. Mmmm. Nougat. But if you want more of the analysis and less of the zaniness … Rab still has you covered a quarter to a half of the time.

  3. inertia says:

    SU&SD is awesome. That is all I have to say.

  4. pakoito says:

    James Purefoy should have been the one writing this week’s column.

    EDIT: What song is it playing during the intro?

    • DiamondDog says:

      Vangelis – End Titles (from the Blade Runner OST).

      Edit: Oh there’s one before that! I don’t know that one. Er, sorry.

    • pakoito says:

      Yup it was that one, I saw it in the ending credits.

    • Burning Man says:

      Yeah, I was really hoping James was back. He could have told us all about his latest venture and how it would hypnotize the world and come out on Blu-ray at the same time.

    • Treymoney says:

      It’s “Small Stakes” by Spoon, off their album Kill the Moonlight. Very good band.

  5. Teddy Leach says:

    Quinns was a spy. That’s why he LEFT US.

    • President Weasel says:

      the player I named after him on my blood bowl team certainly worked assiduously to rob me of victory. Quinns is a traitor.

    • Daiv says:

      @President Weasel: At last! Incontrovertible proof!

  6. McDan says:

    SU&SD really is great, it’s nice to see that he hasn’t just let himself go after leaving RPS and has actually done something unlike that gillen guy. Go board games!

  7. skurmedel says:

    Woo Tangerine Dream.

  8. terry says:

    I am admiring this palatial stairwell.

  9. Brainstrain91 says:

    When did Quinns get so damn sexy? I feel like someone has been keeping this from me.

  10. Radiant says:

    I’m trying to figure out where Quinns lives but all I can come up with is some kind of psych ward or a convalescence home in Hastings.

  11. WPUN says:

    I’ll step up.

    * Diplomacy: Backstabbing! Badly written orders! Bullying!
    * Old SPI Games: Don’t you just love playing War in the East only to find you’ve lost that one panzer division counter (out of hundreds of pieces).
    * 3M Bookcase Games: Acquire was ahead of it’s time. Twixt was fun.
    * Wooden Ships and Iron Men: Everyone loves elite crews but grapeshot ruled the day. What the hell do you mean I ran aground???

    They should have let me know a day in advance and I could have mashed down some old boardgame geek humor as a substitute.

  12. World One Two says:

    I’m going to have nightmares about that dressing gown.

  13. sinister agent says:

    You can’t fool us, Jim. Everyone knows that RPS kills anyone who tries to leave.

  14. ninjapirate says:

    I’m sorry to admit this, but if SU&SD is what “Not Cardboard Children” is like, I’ll take it over “Cardboard Children” anytime!

  15. Legionary says:

    I love this show. But damn, Quinns going up the stairs in that short dressing gown… stupid sexy Quinns!

  16. Renfield says:

    The dressing gown was Mild Horror, but the retro section, especially the first half, was hilarious enough to IMO justify a historical spin-off. Interesting games, too.

  17. feighnt says:

    DAMMIT : (

    i wanted to hear Quinn’s chesthair…

  18. Ondrej says:

    Keep doing what you do, Quinns. You’ve got talent, sir.

  19. Johndoh says:

    Staring eyes tag?

  20. Lazaruso says:

    I think there’ve been more “Not Cardboard Children”s than the other kind at this point.

  21. Heliocentric says:

    The main image reminds me of playing splinter cell chaos theory and knocking people out by throwing a bottle at their head.

    This is all.

  22. MD says:

    So close to getting some up-gown action on that staircase… yowza

  23. Shadowcat says:

    Oh my. Now I have to watch the SU&SD videos that I’ve missed!

  24. mlaskus says:

    I want Quinns back, can we have him back Jim? :(
    This new thing he does is quite cool, but I miss his writing.

    • Josh W says:

      The thing is, negotiating that conflict of interest would require an iron will, and well…

  25. LoBear says:


    Of all the random things . . . i just bought a copy of air charter last weekend, for no other reason than that it was old. . turns out its missing a few bits lol

  26. Shadram says:

    Ep 3 review: Less nipple than episode 2. Fail.

  27. Akirasfriend says:

    That was unexpectedly awesome.
    Very evocative of Consolevania, isn’t it? In a good way.

    Keep up the good work boys!

  28. Saldek says:

    Ooh, was that a Walther P99 (at 9:40ish)? Very tasteful choice :)

  29. felisc says:

    1. that girl has nice eyes. 2. you’ve got wooden shutters on your windows, that’s quite classy.

  30. Sobric says:

    I don’t see anyone else who’s actually commented on Resistance yet – but is it really necessary to buy this game? It’s very very similar to a “party game” I’ve played called Mafia – which is essentially the same game but without official cards or a board.

    That game is great so I know that Resistance will be good, but surely the best parts of the game don’t require the purchase of the cards & the board?

    • Quintin Smith says:

      You could bodge together replacements for the resistance/spy cards, the vote cards and the success/fail cards, but the game also comes with an excellent expansion of one-shot “plot” cards that allow a player to look at another player’s loyalty card, or force them to vote publically, or assume leadership, etc.

      But seriously, the entire process of learning how the games works then painstakingly recreating it would take at least a couple of hours. The game is £16. It’s barely worth it, not to mention you’d be screwing the French designer out of a few euros.

    • Winged Nazgul says:

      instead of copying Resistance, you could instead play its simpler ancestor, Mafia/Werewolf.

      link to
      link to

      If you are too lazy to make your own cards, you could even substitute appropriate M:TG commons if you happen to be a Mr. Suitcase.

  31. Muzman says:

    The Resistance sounds kinda cool. Does it require decent gamer/roleplayer types at this “party”?
    Are there mechanics that make it resistant (ar ar) to normals who couldn’t keep a secret from Helen Keller fucking it up and giving the game away?
    I find that’s often a problem in games of this type.

  32. G_Man_007 says:

    When did Quinns move in with Gordon Freeman?

  33. thebigJ_A says:

    I was relieved when they stopped talking in those fake pretend British accents. Yup, right around the eleven minute mark they quit the charade and began talking the way we Americans know Brits really speak.

  34. mejoff says:

    I want to be at all of Quinns’ parties!