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187

Jesus Is Giving Away Free Games

As it should be in the shops.

Would you like a Christian game for free?! No, based on all that have existed so far, me neither. And I’m one of the God-botherers. But that’s the deal being offered by Left Behind Games – the gaming wing of the giant media empire born of the books based on what would appear to be a woeful misinterpretation of Matthew’s Gospel, ignorance of the events of AD 70, and a complete lack of awareness of the fall of Babylon. But we’re not here to argue eschatology – we’re here to further evidence the claims by the Left Behind people that there’s a secular media conspiracy to denounce them despite the brilliance of their games. A brilliance you can discover for yourself if you’ll only “like” them on Facebook. Because, as they explain in the trailer below, these games are THE MOST IMPORTANT games ever produced.

Yes, there’s an edge to my tone. It’s after these extraordinary events in 2009, when they made astonishing accusations, that their abysmal Left Behind game had been reviewed dishonestly by conspiracy. Since I’d written one of those reviews, in PC Gamer, I took this a little personally. I don’t like it when I’m accused of lying, either in my professional or private life. And as a fan of Jeezy Creezy, I find endeavours this poor brutally embarrassing and pretty insulting.

You have to see the accompanying trailer. And you have to understand that this is utterly irony free:

THE MOST IMPORTANT

LIFE CHANGING

GAMES FOR KIDS

EVER PRODUCED!

I’d honestly not realised there was a third Left Behind game last year. It’s impressive that they’re selling well enough to justify their continued development, based on just how dreadful a game the first one was. Although these people are so rich they could continue churning them out as a vanity project and barely dent the fuel budget for the private jets I’m pretending they probably have. And so it’s important to note that I don’t know how good that third game is, nor any of the other titles available in the offer. I do note that they’re worth $30, however.

Your free options are:

Left Behind 3: Rise Of The Antichrist
Praise Champion
Keys Of The Kingdom
King Solomon’s Trivia Quiz
Charlie Church Mouse Super Pak
Charlie Church Mouse 3D Bible Adventure 2

And to get them you need follow the instruction:

“Download Your First Christian PC Game FREE When You Like Us On Facebook!”

Which leaves me with a bit of a moral dilemma over whether it’s okay to lie just to get one of their games.

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Who am I?

John Walker

Senior Editor

One of the original co-founders of Rock, Paper, Shotgun, I'm now a senior editor and hero of humanity. Old and special.

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