Cardboard Children: Dreadfleet

Hello! Jim's off on adventures so I'm posting this instead of him. Who am I? I'm Kieron. I used to be on this site. Do you remember me? Of course you don't. Sadface.
Hello youse.

I had a column all ready to go for you today, but then something amazing happened.

So, let’s take a look at a freshly announced Games Workshop game and come to a decision on whether or not we’re all going to pre-order Dreadfleet.

DREADFLEET

This morning I rolled out of bed and turned on my computer so that I could tweak and finish my latest Cardboard Children masterpiece. I took a swing by Twitter (where you can follow me and talk about games 24/7 – @robertflorence) and saw this on my timeline:

@chrisgilboy: @robertflorence dreadfleet, yay or nay?

Of course, I’d heard the rumours. For a couple of months there’s been talk about GW doing some kind of naval battle game. You have to give GW their due – when they want something kept secret, they keep a pretty tight wrap on it. Rumours and little suggestions and winks were all that existed. “Dread Fleet” had been mentioned as a title, but even then that was only a maybe. And then there were the Wanted posters in the GW shops and floating around online.

I want to make a Sesame Street gag here, but I'm resisting.

This told us that 17th September was the big day. So something was coming, right? But then, it wasn’t a Space Hulk or a new Warhammer Quest or even a new Blood Bowl, so I kinda forgot about it. I wasn’t exactly counting the days. I was interested, but not on the edge of my seat. I didn’t even know it was 17th September today. Writers don’t ever know what date it is, unless there’s a deadline looming.

Then I rolled out of bed and:

@chrisgilboy: @robertflorence dreadfleet, yay or nay?

Click. Tap tap tap tap tap. Games Workshop website. BOOM. There it is.

PIRATE BATTLES ON THE WARHAMMER HIGH SEAS

ONE! DREADFLEET! HAHAHAHAH!

What is it about Warhammer? I’ve often asked myself this. Just what is it about Warhammer? Why do British geeks love Warhammer stuff so much? Now, I know some of you are going to wade in with “I HATE GAMES WORKSHOP” patter, but come on – if you are a geek who grew up in the UK, Warhammer is at the very core of you. Your heart is probably a skull. We love it. It is us.

But why?

I’ve often thought that it might be the brick and mortar shops that do it to us. I can remember, as a child, encountering Games Workshop shops and being blown away that such a place could exist. A shop, right there on the high street alongside boring clothes shops, where adults play with toys. And such beautiful toys. Grown men rolling dice and laughing, teenage girls painting, and old guys glueing together scenery. And me thinking “Adults do this?”

Or could it be the Warhammer design? There’s something intrinsically British about (and I really don’t mean this in a bad way) the borderline naffness of GW design. God, what do I mean here? The stuff is beautiful. From the design of the Warhammer Fantasy Skaven Screaming Bell to the design of the 40K Eldar Autarch, it’s all beautiful. But at the root of all Warhammer design is a lovely British quirky naffness that informs everything else. Skulls hanging off of everything. That naff black metal feel the 40K stuff has. It’s the spirit of the teenage long-hair outcast in fine resin form. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Or is it the fluff? The back story of the Warhammer worlds? There’s the Lovecraftian, chaos-god heavy world of Warhammer Fantasy, with its amazing Cockney lad Orcs and Witch Hunters. And there’s the tongue-in-cheek ONLY WAR standpoint of the 40K universe, with its always-on satire on religion and government and beauracracy. There’s just so much going on behind those little plastic toys. There are great writers and great artists creating these fantasy worlds full of little pokes and jabs at the establishment. Subversive stuff. Stuff that the British are great at.

Point is, I’ve not been designed to ignore something like this: PIRATE BATTLES ON THE WARHAMMER HIGH SEAS. The only words that don’t excite me are “ON” and “THE”. Everything else has my finger hovering over the pre-order button.

Lets get to the contents of the box.

Maps is the Yeah Yeah Yeahs best song because it is about how awesome Karen O thinks boardgame maps are

This boxed game contains:

98-page Rulebook
(Only 98 pages? I was really hoping for 100 pages in my RULEBOOK FOR A WEE GAME)
Seascape Gaming Mat
(Now we’re talking. A gaming mat that they claim CANNOT BE CREASED. With a sea on it. Nice! About 5 foot by 4 foot! Which means Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman could use it as a little nautical themed tantric sex mat!)
10 Warships
(Ten unique warships. And wait until you see them. Shit is bananas.)
10 Scenic Bases
(Yeah,so the models can merge nicely with the seascape mat. If you have the painting skills of the ‘Eavy Metal team.)
7 Cog Auxiliaries
(Fuck knows what this means. Aren’t Cogs something from Gears of War? Or something out of watches?)
1 Dragon Auxiliary
(DRAGON. Say no more.)
1 Dirigible Auxiliary
(DIRIGIBLE. Say no more.)
7 Islands
(Islands that look like…well, I’ll let you guess what a lot of these islands look like. Guess. Warhammer. Guess. Take a guess. Who said “skulls?” YOU A WINNER!)
5 Shipwreck Pieces
(For me to use when my girlfriend hammers me at this like she hammers me at every other game.)
3 Sea Monsters
(What kind of sea monsters? You can’t just say “Sea Monsters”. COME ON.)
5 Treasure Tokens
(For my girlfriend to collect as she hammers me at this like she hammers me at every other game.)
12 Dice
(Fuckin’ YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Death to card battle systems. BRING ON THE DICE!)
1 Wind Gauge
(NOTE: Insert joke about farting here before sending the column through. Yes, the RPS readers are a high-brow crew, but they’ll probably still laugh at a fart joke. Do PC gamers fart? PC Gamers are kinda like the Royal Family of the gaming world. Do they actually fart? Check this.)
2 Ship’s Wheels
(Ships don’t have wheels. Major boo-boo y the GW researchers here.)
1 Navigation Rod
(I bet this is a ruler. I bet this is what they’re calling a ruler. A 30cm Helix Shatterproof Navigation Rod.)
10 Warship Cards
55 Damage Cards
40 Fate Cards
12 Auxiliary Cards
10 Wound Cards
11 Miscellaneous Cards
(That’s a lot of cards. That might mean a lot of variety in game events. That might mean-)

Oh, shut up. Why even do this? We’re all buying it, right? Look, it is INSANE to buy a game with literally no idea how it plays. That shit cray. But I guarantee this – you will be able to sell this on and get your money back AT LEAST if this game is a bust. It’s a limited release, just like Space Hulk was. It’s like putting your money in a bank – a bank full of skulls.

Let me show you some pictures. I can’t wait for Kieron Gillen to see this bad boy. It’s the ship commanded by his favourite filthy Skaven. They’ve only gone and hollowed out the carcass of a dead sea monster, the manky pricks.

Clearly, I want to gush about SKAVEN DRIVING A BIG ROTTING FISH but I'm still chuckling at Rab's 'Ships don’t have wheels. Major boo-boo y the GW researchers here.' gag.

And check this one – my daughter will love this, being an Aladdin fan. It’s a ship being blown along by a fucking Genie. A WHOLE NEW WOOOOOORLLLLLLD.

The health and safety people are going to have a fucking fit.

And check this. Chaos dwarves. Yes. We all love them. We all want them. Here they come, commanding a GIANT MECHANICAL KRAKEN.

If I play this, I guarantee that I'll spend all my time going THE KRAKEN WAKES!!!! excitedly. Admittedly, I do that anyway.

Who are we kidding here? Are you British and a geek? Who are we fucking kidding? Yes, I know you’ll fuck up the assembly of these models, and I know you’ll never paint them, and I know you’ll never play it. But who are we kidding? Get it bought.

70 quid.

Some people are complaining about the price on certain forums. 70 quid is not that expensive for a board game these days. Fantasy Flight games cost that much in the UK on a regular basis. And Fantasy Flight, as great as their components are, ain’t making no shit like GIANT MECHANICAL KRAKENS.

One more thing. It’s a two-player game. But get this, they’re saying that because each ship is unique, up to 10 players can play, taking a ship each. A free-for-all. So all you have to do is get together with nine of your friends and SPLIT THE PRICE. Seven quid each!!

You have nine friends who play games, right? Course you do.

NEXT WEEK – Tabletop gaming in the UK changes forever, as I introduce **********.

I’m serious.

I’ll leave you with this video, all about DREADFLEET.

107 Comments

  1. Unaco says:

    Kieron… We’ll never forget you and your sad, sad face.

  2. Monchberter says:

    GIANT MECHANICAL KRAKENS

    This can’t be repeated enough

    GIANT MECHANICAL KRAKENS
    GIANT MECHANICAL KRAKENS
    GIANT MECHANICAL KRAKENS

  3. Inigo says:

    For a couple of months there’s been talk about GW doing some kind of naval battle game.

    Again.

    • Archonsod says:

      Heh, I used to love Man O’ War. This looks somewhat different however.

    • Trukkle says:

      Is this the third time, if we count Battlefleet Gothic?

    • nickylee says:

      I love the way their own promo videos set this up as a totally new idea for them when it is patently not. I’m sure the system is probably widly different but still, this ain’t their first time on the high seas as we can all plainly see. :P

      I can’t remember if I ever actually played Man O’ War but I remember my best mate painting his dwarven fleet and they were pretty cool.

    • ZephyrSB says:

      @Trukkie Fourth, you forgot Space Fleet.

  4. fallingmagpie says:

    I don’t even know what that means
    (No one knows what it means, but it’s provocative)
    No it’s not, it’s gross (Gets the people going)

    • AndrewC says:

      Isn’t it just delicious to realise that what Yeezy is doing with all his time in five-star Parisian hotels is watching Blades Of Glory?

  5. sheep-dodger says:

    Since it’s ship battles, cogs would probably be the shiptype: Cogs@Wikipedia

  6. Delixe says:

    God I used to love Man O’ War. This is oh so tempting.

  7. Premium User Badge

    Biscuitry says:

    £70… yeah, I briefly got into Warhammer for a while. Prices like that are why I stopped.

    • Trukkle says:

      Roll on, affordable home 3D printing. It’s nearly here.

    • arccos says:

      Fair enough, but when you buy 40K, you aren’t just buying a game, you’re also buying a play set. This particular one looks gorgeous painted, but who seriously can paint like that?

      If they sold this game pre-painted, I’d buy it and try to figure out a solo way to play it.

  8. Xercies says:

    Krikes! my British Geek Mind is blown, I to have no idea how it plays but i don’t care I must have it and it might just be on the top of my bookshelf. But look at the beauty of it!

    • Kieron Gillen says:

      Yeah, I’ve fell for it too. I’m not even too fond of naval games. BUT SKAVEN CORPSE BOATS WITH LIGHTNING CANNON BROADSIDES!

      KG

    • Jake says:

      Everyone knows that Skaven are rubbish, I thought we had already agreed on this. Tragically, there isn’t a real Chaos ship.

  9. CJ says:

    I’ll stick with Man-o-war thanks.

  10. IanWhalen says:

    So are the ships/auxiliaries/etc going to ship looking like they do in the above pictures? Or are they shipping as flat grey and they’ll look like that if you put 200+ hours into painting them with a single-haired paintbrush?

    • Ba5 says:

      This is what I want to know.

    • Koozer says:

      mmm I love a good sprue.

    • Premium User Badge

      Al__S says:

      the latter. Because to ship (ahem) the contents fully pre painted would no doubt require a small army of highly talented but atrociously paid Chinese children working in slave labour conditions in order to bring it in at £70

    • Unaco says:

      “…they’ll look like that if you put 200+ hours into painting them with a single-haired paintbrush?”

      I think we’ve found the problem. Use a normal paint brush! It’ll go much quicker.

    • Cinek says:

      Buy a cans of wall-paint.
      Put figure inside colors you’d like to have
      Profit from uber-quick painting!

    • GHudston says:

      Christ, how hard is it to use thinned paint and learn to blend?

  11. RogB says:

    reprint a run of space hulk 2009 you bastards!

  12. Le_Bossu says:

    Thats only 8,500 Yen, expensive, but just within the bounds of treating yourself to a long-deserved prezzie.

    Then you go to games-workshop Japan and find out that with shipping it’ll be 15,500 Yen (about 130 pounds)……

    Unfortunately unlike their Fantasy Flight licensed games you don’t seem to be able to pick up GW originals on BookDepository or other free shipping sites.

    What a kick in the 精巣

  13. The Codicier says:

    Sadly i think £70 is going to tip me from a yay to a nay, although perhaps i can talk myself into it somehow.
    I mean there’s lots of good stuff in there so its hard to say you getting ripped off.

    So honestly that’s not what i take issue with its this bit

    “This product has been produced in limited quantities and is only available while stocks last – make sure you get it quick before the Galleon’s Graveyard claims it forever.”

    I would have thought/hoped they would have learnt from the farce that has been the post release Space Hulk profiteering. For those of you who don’t know GW re-released one of their greatest ever games Space Hulk with awesome new miniatures in limited quantities.
    Of course this meant they sold out near immediately, and since then boxed games have been sitting on ebay untouched for a huge mark up.

    If £70 sounds expensive to you, try £180 quid for hulk on ebay now..(if your lucky)

    It frustrates me immensely how the hell do GW expect to grow their audience if they keep pricing their best standalone set out of most people reach, & do limited run’s ensuring speculators push it up even higher.

    Honestly i’d have rather seen a new run of Space Hulk

    • Shandrakor says:

      K.R.A.K.E.N. That is all. Despite the fact that I’ve never owned a GW game, I’ll likely be getting this, simply due to the sheer awesomeness of Mecha-Kraken.

    • Baines says:

      I’m honestly not certain Games Workshop does want to grow its audience.

      At the least, they aren’t interested in growing its audience with anyone who isn’t willing to drop large sums of money whenever GW asks for it. They don’t want the guy who plays with his friend’s cast-offs. They want the guy who is willing to buy his own army of figures, and will buy new figures as they are released.

      In a way, cheap and available one-off games run counter to GW’s desires. You give a guy with an itch a chance to buy one of these, and the one-off nature of the game might scratch his itch without him ever falling into the general GW money pit. On the other hand, if you limit the game’s run, the hardcore fans will buy it out and keep its aftermarket price high as well. The guy who is on the fence about GW will hear stories, but will have only the “slowly buy enough figures for an army” route to really get into GW games himself.

    • Ergates_Antius says:

      Doesn’t really matter what GW’s intentions regarding their audience are : if they’re interested in making money they should reprint Space Hulk.

      If people are willing to pay £180 for it on EBay, then they’ll sure as hell pay £50* for it from a shop. Unless it’s GW sneakily selling the copies through EBay using dummy accounts then they’re passing up an easy opportunity to make some cash.

      * or whatever it cost…

    • Dreadly says:

      “Sadly i think £70 is going to tip me from a yay to a nay, although perhaps i can talk myself into it somehow.”

      The rest of your post is the “somehow”. Even if you don’t decide to keep it you can at least recoup your investment and likely profit on GW’s limited release folly :)

    • Baines says:

      “If people are willing to pay £180 for it on EBay, then they’ll sure as hell pay £50* for it from a shop.”

      Not necessarily. You only need a few people willing to pay outrageous amounts to push up prices.

      Games Workshop, on the other hand, needs enough people willing to pay a a lower price to do another production run of Space Hulk. They probably need to recreate some of the materials, like making new molds. They have to factor in risk costs, either that something will go wrong in production and have to be scrapped or that material might be returned for similar reason. They have to consider intangibles, like judging how many copies they can risk printing without creating a glut of unsold copies (because that would not only be a waste of money, it would make them look bad). And all this has to be weighed against everything else they are and can be producing. It doesn’t matter that a Space Hulk reprint is a guaranteed profit if they are already stretched meeting their current obligations, just as Space Hulk profits might be less than what they can make from some other new product.

      EDIT: That being said, they should reprint Space Hulk.

    • Josh W says:

      I wish that those who want space hulk could just put in a bulk order, kickstarter style, and say, “we’re your market, make us this”. Takes the risk out of the equation, and even if GW don’t want to do it, there’s always the possibility of these people making their own knockoff game for themselves, once they know each other.

    • Jake says:

      You wish that everyone that wants a reprint of Space Hulk would group together, get to know each other and then – if GW aren’t interested – make their own knockoff version? Well, I propose we call it Space Bulk and I guess I could make a Jeanstealer.

    • The Codicier says:

      @Baines
      That’s a worryingly plausible sounding argument. I guess in the freemium/social gaming space people with that sort of behaviour would be called ‘whales’.
      I’ve been told that for example that Necromunda (a glorious mad max/ 2000ad insipred gang warfare game) sold more boxed copies than any single edition of 40k.
      But you could have a viable gang ready to go for about £20, where as a 40k army(standard tourney) sized even if built carefully was going to cost you probably around £100 minimum. So it’s easy to see why that wasn’t a good business model.

      Long term though i’m worried GW’s greatest strength is not its mini’s (though they are universally excellent) its the IP. They run a real risk of ending up in the state that allot of the record industry finds itself in if they continue to rely on regulating the supply of a physical product to make sales.

      I’ve been really glad to see they are loosening up their control on it a bit more these day’s THQ have made great work of making up for lost time on the digital front, & Fantasy flight have produced some great Boardgames.

      @Dreadly
      Ended up discussing that with a few friends over a pint, in the end we came to the conclusion that although the idea of selling on a copy for profit just felt wrong to us. Daft as it sounds but one of the best things about ‘the hobby’ was/is feeling a sense of community with other gamers and none of us would feel right making a profit off a fellow gamer.
      Which is partly why so many people have a bee in their bonnet about Space Hulk it was a feeling that if you would gouge a fellow gamer you weren’t a gamer at all (if you see what i mean).

      @Josh W
      From what i understand space hulk’s limited run was around the 70,000 mark. Even by kickstarters standards getting 70,000 signups each pledging £50 wouldn’t be a walk in the park.

    • mejoff says:

      @Jake
      “Well, I propose we call it Space Bulk and I guess I could make a Jeanstealer.”
      Which would actually lay the groundwork for background fluff about spaceships full of knockoff products quite nicely! (The clearly parodic nature neatly slipping into fair usage and negating the catastrophic legal ramifications!)

  14. RogB says:

    I CONCUR
    that is all.
    (to the above statement. oh reply hijinks)

  15. Jackablade says:

    All that listing of features and you missed the part about the Ogre Eunuchs?

  16. aircool says:

    Awesome – Back in the 80’s there was some rules published in White Dwarf for Naval Battles, but concentrating more on small skirmishes between a few ships and a handful of Warhammer Miniatures on each ship. What stuck in my mind was the imagination and detail applied to the ships, particularly the Orcs and Goblins.

    Then back in the 90’s they released the original Battlefleet Gothic (simply called ‘Space Fleet). It was meant to be an introduction to GW’s games, but it was far better than its re-release as a proper tabletop game. And there seems to be the problem for me with GW’s games these days, they don’t knock out simple games with small rulebooks anymore such as Space Hulk and the awesome, but little known ‘Ultramarines’.

    Dreadfleet looks great, and there’s bound to be some good fluff to go with it. Sadly, it looks too time consuming :-(

  17. Nick says:

    aww, not another pointlessly limited editon? FFS Games Workshop.. why do you hate my money?

  18. ts061282 says:

    GW is an evil, vile company.

  19. Baboonanza says:

    That made me giggle like a little girl. Cheers Robert!

  20. Chris D says:

    Is this £70 for everything or £70 for a starter set and pay for more ships/other races separately? It’s not that I don’t enjoy miniatures based games but they can take a huge investment in time and money which I find increasingly hard to justify when I have stuff like the Total War series sitting on my shelf.

    Edit: Ok, the end of the video seems to say everything’s included which is nice to know.

    • Azhrarn says:

      70 pounds will get you the lot.
      This is what Games Workshop calls a “splash release”, a one-off release of a complete game that most likely won’t get expansions or anything else for that matter.
      The game is completely stand-alone, just like the 2009 Space Hulk release was.

  21. Eddy9000 says:

    The main problem with this article is that it isn’t an article about the new minecraft update.

  22. Unaco says:

    Reply Fail.

  23. Nick says:

    Also Maps is a great song.

  24. endintears says:

    Having missed out on the Space Hulk reprint I am a complete sucker for “This product has been produced in limited quantities and is only available while stocks last – make sure you get it quick before the Galleon’s Graveyard claims it forever.” and pre-ordered it immediately

  25. pakoito says:

    Scissor Sisters – I don’t feel like painting.

  26. dadioflex says:

    I’ve zero interest in boardgames, but I want those little ships.

  27. Nallen says:

    Still got a Man-O-War fleet back at the ‘rents.

  28. 7Seas says:

    That looks absolutely fantastic! Must buy. The amount of creativity that goes into each ship is awesome. God Emperor bless GW and the great work they do.

  29. Triangulon says:

    Awesome. Bought! Many thanks Rob and while we’re at it, anything else you want to make me spend my money on?

  30. gwathdring says:

    Hmm. On the one hand it’s gorgeous and it sounds like there’s a lot of love and good design that went into the various aspects. On the other hand … there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to paint those miniatures in a way I’d be happy with. And $115 for that game, given that the miniatures would not end up being painted, just isn’t going to cut it. I know it would be absurd and quite expensive for them to paint all of the minis on their end so I don’t expect anything there. But I do sort of wish they had pre-painted the bases or done something in that vein that would allow for quick identification of which team/player was which without the miniatures being painted. When they’re painted that wonderfully it’s all very obvious. But when they’re all the same grey color they start to blend together a bit. The scenery I could probably paint, so at least the ships would stand out from that. The gluing I can do!

    Oh well. Maybe in a few years when I’ve had some practice painting my figures from miscellaneous games like the ships in BSG that I’m working on, I can pick it up off the BGG marketplace for around retail and give those beauties a go. But the painting is, at the least, a very strong psychological barrier for anyone not used to warhammer or anyone with a smattering of (both unreasonable and reasonable) perfectionism about their games. And for some of us, even with “easy” techniques like dipping, a rather practical barrier as well. It’s a shame they couldn’t sell a small expansion pack that came with some much-less detailed, lower quality ships in colored plastic or something–anything that made them easier to paint and/or identify on the field without being quite as imposing (and incredible) as the original ships.

    • Dreadly says:

      Just prime them white and use a different wash for each navy to bring out the details…an evenings hobbying (not including assembly). Painting on GW Washes takes zero skill and the primer is a spray paint. This would make the game completely playable and you could then paint them more completely at your leisure (or not).

  31. Strange_guy says:

    The ships are lovely, but having to paint them means a ton of effort is required and they will never look as good as they should. This plus unknown rules, and thanks to the limited edition by the time people have given their opinions it may be sold out, and the not that cheap price means it’s a definite no buy from me. Also one skull island is piratey, many skull islands is just silly.

  32. Jorum says:

    Saw email from GW this morning. My first reaction seeing photo was fuck yes a new Man O War. Then aww no it’s not (sad face). Then I saw the chaos dwarf and and skaven ships and thought “oh well that’s £70 gone then”.
    I guess spread out over the number of models it’s not that much, and I can probably find another use for half-dozen skull islans and, and, sigh…
    i’m weak

  33. Dana says:

    Too bad I dont have anyone to play board games with anymore.

  34. Fiwer says:

    I’ve never gotten the impression that Warhammer is particularly British, I thought britishes all wore tweed jackets with special pockets sewn into them to hold poetry they write about their best mates. Not so much gigantic black armor covered in skulls that were designed to support spikes on the end of which more spike-covered skulls can be dangled.

    • Nick says:

      its very 80s british, like Iron Maiden.

    • Jae Armstrong says:

      See this for a little look at the “Britishness” in British geekdom.

      Or, possibly more accurately, its influences.

    • bill says:

      That’s a cool link: “In the UK, it was all John Blanche, Gary Chalk, Iain McCaig, Russ Nicholson, Leo Hartas, Gary Harrod, Tony Ackland and many others. Illustrators who had a clear lineage from Beardsley, Bosch and Durer. The US artists seemed to have a lineage from comic books. That may actually be appropriate to the US style of gaming but in Britain it just never worked.”

      In particular John Blanche – but basically every GW illustrator you saw in White Dwarf had long hair and a black t-shirt (think iron maiden or black metal). Same goes for 2000AD.

      GW should have bought 2000AD and merged the two franchises… and made cool GW comics. Rather than Rebellion buying them and doing bugger all.

    • The Codicier says:

      @bill they sorta did
      In the late 90’s early 00’s GW put out their own comic series called Warhammer monthly & it was almost exclusively staffed by 2000AD alumni.
      One particular highlight was a Wayne Reynolds & Pat Mills collaboration called The Redeemer which is 100% worth checking out if you liked Mills’ work on Nemesis the warlock, or Marshal Law.
      It initially seemed to do ok but slowly died off a few years later.

      Obviously Dan Abnett’s still there doing (by all accounts) pretty good work
      The reason why Abnett is (& Mill’s was)such a good fit for GW is at their best both did a very British style of cynicism very well

      On a side note: Kieron in your heart of hearts you know you want to pitch a Skaven comic to GW :D

    • Jorum says:

      GW was very much 80’s metal influenced.
      I mean Andy Chambers used to look like this for gods sake.
      link to 3.bp.blogspot.com

      I’ve got old white dwarf magazines hear and 90% of the mugshots look like auditions for Spinal Tap.

    • Kieron Gillen says:

      My first professional comics work was in Warhammer Monthly actually. Two five page stories in some of the final issues, both 40k stories.

      Games Workshop then gave the comics licence over to BOOM comics for a few years, and I did a 4-issue mini which was about the Empire, the undead and the youknowwhos.

      It’s in a trade, which appears to be still available:
      link to amazon.co.uk

      And here’s the trade synopsis!
      “When the Chaos-vermin Skaven rise from their endless burrows, there’s always a vile purpose in mind. When a vast horde equipped with unfathomable weaponry sweep into a backwater of the Empire, Discraced Greatsword leader Frohlich knows there has to be a reason. But can he find out what it is before the thin shield of human steel shatters beneath an irresistible hail of warpstone bullets?”

      If you’re into Warhammer comics, probably the best way to get it – if you can find it – is the WARHAMMER: BLOOD OF THE EMPIRE trade, which collects all three warhammer fantasy minis boom did. Abnett and Lanning wrote the other two, who are obviously PROPER WARHAMMER WRITER NAMES.

      link to google.com

      Worth noting, it’s – er- not exactly Phonogram. Also the first American-form action comics I wrote. Though there’s still at least one beat which makes me laugh when I think about it.

      KG

  35. mcol says:

    Holy shit acres of sails to paint is an average painters worst nightmare. I get all angry with small banners, let alone large sails for angry ships.

  36. Necroscope says:

    Warhammer is most certainly British. Check out videos on Youtube of Paul Barnett describing which aspect of the British class system/society each Warhammer race relates to. This video entitled ‘Paul Barnett explains what is Warhammer Online about’ will give you not only a highly entertaining presentation but also precious insight.

  37. Ed123 says:

    It’s pronounced “wroth”, damn you!

    • Teddy Leach says:

      No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t. No it isn’t.

    • Jazz42 says:

      YES IT F’ING IS
      NOW DO YE WANTS SOME

  38. Eynonz says:

    DREADFLEET > GRAND ALLIANCE.

  39. Deccan says:

    I think I preferred the old Man o’War Skaven, whose ships looked like they were cobbled together out of roofing shingles and had bloody great bells and censers hanging off them. Y’know, before the mad science went completely over the top with the latest Warhammer edition.

    *goes to happy place, repeats “there is only orange-book Warhammer” 30 times*

    Still, if mechanical kraken are your thing, you’d be well advised to have a look at Dystopian Wars too. That has tesla-powered zeppelins and rocket-powered assault samurai as well.

    Edit: Oh, and for the TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY New Zealand shekels this’d cost me, I could get two DW fleets and all the trimmings. 220! There’s a special level of hell reserved for Games Workshop accountants.

  40. Chris D says:

    @Deccan

    I remember that orange book. It was my first introduction to Warhammer. I’ve always dismissed anything that came earlier as a mere forerunner and vaguely resented anything that came after as being newfangled nonsense. I try not to think too hard about the rationality of that position. Good times.

  41. DigitalSignalX says:

    I HATE GAMES WORKSHOP

  42. Vexing Vision says:

    Well, that sounds like a lovely game to look out for on the Spiel. I got Horus Heresy for 30€ there last year.

    If I can shoot it for 40€, it’s a sell.

  43. Funso Banjo says:

    “Grown men rolling dice and laughing, teenage girls painting, and old guys glueing together scenery.”

    “teenage girls painting”

    “teenage girls”

    Really? This is how your recollection of a Games Workshop shop is? There are girls in the ones in your head?

    • Jackablade says:

      They’re probably just balding men with pony tails viewed through the rose-tint of nostalgia

    • Wooly Wugga Wugga says:

      I was just about to say…

      Except for the obligatory girl playing Magic The Gathering I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone posessed of vagina at our local gaming shop.

    • Zorganist says:

      I’ve been in Games Workshop with a teenage girl before (I was the same age as her, mind), and managed to voluntarily get her painting something. It only happened the one time, but it was glorious.

    • FreylikeDave says:

      I’m just starting to get back into 40k, and when I visited the local GW, two rather attractive girls who looked like they would not, in anyway be into ‘geek stuff’, we’re happily painting a couple of High Elves. Blew my mind.

  44. sgt. grumbles says:

    I don’t have any interest in playing this game, but I do have much interest in acquiring that mechanic kraken model. Hopefully you’ll be able to buy that separately at some point, or perhaps one will appear on ebay. Avast!

  45. bill says:

    Warhammer is great because they can fit EVERYTHING COOL into it. Dwarves. Kraken. Pirates. Ninja. Tanks. Space marines. Giant robots. anything…

    It’s also great because they have great artists.

    This looks like Warhammer One Piece.

  46. Cinek says:

    GIANT MECHANICAL KRAKENS!

    Sometimes I regret I don’t know anyone who play such games >_<

  47. Premium User Badge

    Harlander says:

    For one brief, shining moment, I saw a game name I didn’t recognize and thought, beyond all rational hope, that GW was returning to the time it released games that didn’t have anything to do with Warhammer.

    Oh well.

  48. Zorganist says:

    I’d totally buy that, if were not for the fact that I don’t have £70 spare. Damn me for being poor. By GW standard.

  49. Stevostin says:

    I am french and I just love all the brit fantasy. I think it can basically be seen as this : most entertainment, including fantasy, is made in the US. Thing is, they don’t know jack about what medieval is. Their way of dealing with it … I don’t know, I am thinking about Lord British, Texas, making party in his fake castel villa in the eighty with tight spandex pants. It’s the extreme, but even World of Warcraft is more looking at comic book now than brit fantasy. It was closer to GW when doing WC2. I think it means something than so little US people were involved in Harry Potter or LOTR movies. Nearly only brits actor. People who gets old stone.

    Old stones. I remember an middle age, very neat (US people are so often neat compared to we nasty frogs) who told me something like “the issue you guys have in Europe, are all your old stones. They’re keeping you back”. I was speechless. It’s not that I think she’s right or wrong, but I realised that to here, this was a meaningful difference. And I think it actually is, indeed.

  50. Jorum says:

    Oh well, sunk £70 in hope this is gonna be cool. Man O War was good, so hopefully they have messed this one up. Worst comes to worst will be able to ebay it for £70 anyway I suspect (all those Space Hulk for £200 piss me off, GW silly limited editions).

    If anyone is around UK Hertfordshire area and interested let me know and I’ll be in touch whenever the thing turns up and I’ve finished cack-handedly painting toy boats.