The GTA V Trailer Features Cars, Guns

I think this means it will have money in it

A successful videogaming franchise is to see another installment! I know, whoever would have believed it? Whether Rockstar’s ever-exciting but nauseatingly over-speculated-about latest drive’n’shoot’thumper is going to be on PC as well as the toyboxes is something I don’t know at present, because I am writing these words 39 minutes in the past. You, however, are reading them 39 minutes into my future, and may already know the answer. Wait, 38. So I’ve put some fancy embed code in below that will hopefully magically transform into a live and kicking, honest-to-grud GTA V trailer come exactly 4pm UK time. If it doesn’t work, it’s probably because I’m an incompetent wuckfit, but you can see it on Rockstar’s own site. Or, y’know, every single videogame site on the internet, who’ve all been deploying all their most desperate attempts at SEO glory over the last week or so. Well done those sites, and I’m sure it will result in only the very highest-quality comment threads.

Hope it’s a good trailer, anyway. I’ll add some thoughts, if there are many to be had, once it’s unlocked and I’ve watched it. GODSPEED, VIDEOGAME FANS. I’ll see you on the other side of the marketing frenzy.

Good grief! Set in 18th Century Belgium and starring Starscream? I never would have guessed it.

And here’s the instant RPS commentary on what we’ve just seen:

Jim: I liked the bit with the plane
Adam: There was a jet ski. I think there was a jet ski.
Alec: I liked the golf sweater the most
Jim: jet skis are like symbols of the idle wealthy, right?
Alec: yeah – I think they’re going to hybridise Vice City and San Andreas, without repeating the 80s trick again
Adam: I hope when he refers to “that…that line of work” and says he now wants to be a good guy for once, it turns out he used to be an investment banker.
Alec: or an SEO expert
Jim: Yeah, it looks like a game about a nice man who likes golf and hiking.
John: I really, really wish it were.
Alec: so, how do we feel? It didn’t have that omigodomigod of GTA IV, I must say
Alec: or make me want to go out and buy lots of LCD Soundsystem records right away
John: Bully was so amazing. I wish they’d be brave enough to be low-key again.
Adam: It can be, John. Rockstar just put the cars, guns and hookers there. You don’t HAVE to use them.
Alec: All the commentors are pointing out that the jet ski is called the Speedophile 2000. That’s the kind of subtle, edgy humour we’re in for, then.


  1. Ed123 says:

    RPG of the Decade!

  2. chabuhi says:

    Can’t wait! I saw somewhere that they say it’s set in L.A.? Did anyone catch a specific era? Or is it just sorta “current day”?

    Edit: Never mind – I didn’t see that the vid was already live.

  3. westyfield says:


  4. SAeN says:

    Where have I heard that voice?

  5. KlaxonOverdrive says:

    Speedophile 2000. Ahhh, Rockstar.

  6. BaronWR says:

    Well, that looks entirely predictable.

    Pretty though

  7. The Sombrero Kid says:

    predictable but it will be predictably good.

  8. Ian says:

    “Good grief! Set in 18th Century Belgium and starring Starscream? I never would have guessed it. ”

    If only. :(

  9. merc-ai says:

    So, it’s an online free-to-play title where you can only hijack cars you unlocked via microtransactions?
    Unexpected, but I’ll give it a try.

    • Raiyan 1.0 says:

      I don’t know what trailer you saw, because the one I saw had a giant steampunk robot transforming into a zeppelin.

  10. Obc says:

    somewhat underwhelming. and it was more a teaser than a trailer. it looks like LA. why did they replace the hollywood sign with “Vinewood”?

    graphics look good. looks more like Vice City in tone and style than GTA4. i like that. looks more “warm” and “colourful”.

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Because it’s San Andreas.

    • TillEulenspiegel says:

      They always use thinly-veiled fake names. I think it’s a legal thing with certain cities, or they might just want to avoid the inevitable whining from local politicians.

    • The Sombrero Kid says:

      You’ve never played a gta game before then ;)

    • kikito says:

      It’s called Los Santos. It’s an LA’s counterpart in GTA.

    • ShadyGuy says:

      @Teddy Leach: You mean Los Santos. San Andreas is the whole west coast area. Which would be awesome if they implemented something of that scope again. I doubt it, though.

    • Obc says:

      @The Sombrero Kid

      oh my dear i played them all ;) but i don’t remember all the little details but all the mayhem ^^ i can hardly remember the name of the cast of SA or VC.

      but yeah, i thought everyone can use “the hollywood sign” and its not bound to some copyrights and whathaveyou in this case….well anyway i hope the game is better than 4 and more like VC or SA or hell even 2 xD

    • Teddy Leach says:

      Yeah, Los Santos. But from all the scenery I saw in that trailer, it looks like at least the Mt. Chiliad area’s included.

    • simonh says:

      Looked like you could see the Gant (Golden Gate) Bridge at 0:18, so it’s not entirely impossible that we could see San Fierro again. Maybe it’s Los Santos, San Fierro and everything between, but not the northern desert and Las Venturas.

    • Highstorm says:

      I’m not seeing what would identify it as the Golden Gate at that mark. In fact it looks much more like the Vincent Thomas bridge which would make sense as it spans the L.A. Harbor.

      link to

    • exenter says:

      The license plates on the cars says San Andreas.

    • Fiatil says:

      Right. San Andreas the state, Los Santos the city.

    • iq says:

      Hollywood Chamber of Commerce claims a trademark on the sign: TMYK.

    • Astroman says:

      The hikers :22 and the wind turbines :28 suggest northern California but I have a feeling there will be a toll booth on the bay bridge if you know what I mean.

  11. says:

    Starring a slightly pudgy middle-aged guy? Not bad.

    Looks pretty nice for an open world game running on 2006 tech.

    • Syra says:

      Rockstar are really digging the fat oldies these days, max payne will set the precedent for all action game stars in the next generation of hardware, tapping into the trends for 80s action heros to come back in rambo5 and diehardat60 and the expendables800yearsbetweenthem.

  12. Teddy Leach says:

    Red brum-brum cars confirmed.

  13. McDan says:

    Well that looks mighty interesting, and goodly!

  14. Premium User Badge

    Bluerps says:

    Needs more dildo swords.

  15. talon03 says:

    Frak me that’s a pretty game.

  16. Roaring Panda says:

    Vinewood? Do i smell San Andreas?

    • Icarus says:

      I’m pretty sure I saw some ‘Los Santos’ graffiti- so yeah, I’d say so. Quite pleased by the fact it’s in San Andreas again, I must say.

    • Shubb9 says:

      Says “Vespucci Beach, Los Santos” on one of the signs for the muscle beach billboards. Also, “Pump Buddy Magazine, plenty of issues to work out” too.

    • exenter says:

      All the cars had San Andreas license plates.

  17. Blandford says:

    I’m calling it right now – every video game web site will call it “the godfather of videogames” again.

    Not that GTA 4 was bad by any means, but christ the orgasmic response surrounding it at the time was a bit ridiculous.

    Also, I guess we still have no idea whether this will even be released on PC, huh?

    • Perjoss says:

      If Red Dead Redemption is anything to go by, we might be waiting a very long time for a PC version :(

  18. Stevostin says:

    Cool. Looks like the “pick your character” rumour was true, after all.

    • Jackablade says:

      I’d expect more of a Call of Duty style play for a while as one guy and then switch to another typed setup.

  19. Lumberjack_Man says:

    So haps right now

  20. Jake says:

    I am not so keen on the Belgium but a GTA type game where instead of jacking the cars you transform into one seems like just good sense. Especially if you could also be Starscream.

  21. GT3000 says:


  22. Inigo says:

    Tommy? Is that you?

  23. ResonanceCascade says:

    …but it’s so samey.

    And before anyone asks, no, I wasn’t expecting otherwise.

  24. oceanclub says:

    It’s GTA 4.5 in LA.

    I say this as no bad thing. Just the differences between 3 and 4 were far more startling (such is the nature of graphics technology).


    • DrGonzo says:

      You saw a much more detailed trailer than I must have! But I see what you mean-ish.

      I thought graphically it was stunning, those brief bits knocked the spots of GTA 4. At least the console version and the PC version I played (no where near maxed out).

      Hopefully if it does come to PC it runs better than the 4th one does on current hardware. Even a top spec PC feels quite sluggish running it, presumably it’s the engine as it feels that way on PC and console.

    • oceanclub says:

      “Even a top spec PC feels quite sluggish running it, presumably it’s the engine as it feels that way on PC and console.”

      Indeed – my i5/8GB machine eats most games for breakfast, but still can’t handle GTA 4 with everything maxed.


    • Pathetic Phallacy says:

      That’s because Rockstar are fucking terrible at optimizing.

    • wssw4000 says:

      Sadly, it doesn’t look as good as gta4 with iCEnhancer.

  25. Sup says:

    Hm, I’m not 100% sure who the main character is. But looks pretty and a bit underwhelming after all the theories what it could be about.

  26. Skeletor68 says:

    Tommy Vercetti returns then… cool.

  27. Ridye says:

    On L.A. then. Look they are returning to the “Vice City” kind of environment, more vibrant colors (which is always a plus) and less agglomerated buildings (which is something that didn’t like from the previous game).

    As always, it seems to take some cues from famous movies including Beverly Hill’s Cop.

    But in terms of graphic complexity? The results seems to be uneven: There are a few highlights, like the mountain range or the Oil/wind/plantation scenes. But some of the close ups on the streets, do show low polygons and a lack of polished textures.

    Would be odd to use placeholders for a trailer that everyone is bound to see (and compare).

    Not sure what to think about the character and his voice (can’t be Tony Vercetti).
    Wait and see, I guess.

  28. mjig says:

    That trailer made me realize how excited I am for Saints Row the Third. I’ll pick up GTA5 for $10 after it hits the bargain bin, since it’s obviously more pseudo realism crap like GTA4.

    • Tyrone Slothrop. says:

      I sometimes feel like Rock, Paper Shotgun is getting bleed-over from RPGCodex or /v/… you know, a place where people just dislike games. People complained, mostly retrospectively mind you, that GTA IV was a step backward in feature-set, which also meant ‘half-baked gimmicks’ for unfortunately a lot of things… so they make a game with even better graphics, scale, animation and polish than IV but with apparently the feature set of San Andreas and evidentially more things… but that just doesn’t seem good enough for some.

      “Pseudo-Realism Crap”

      Please stop posting.

    • Archonsod says:

      “so they make a game with even better graphics, scale, animation and polish than IV but with apparently the feature set of San Andreas and evidentially more things… but that just doesn’t seem good enough for some.”

      Or y’know, it could be that we didn’t think the problem was with a lack of features or stuff in the first place. You’d think the “pseudo-realism” bit would have given it away.
      Ignoring for the moment the writing was below par for a kindergarten class, GTA IV failed because it tried to force it’s story on you. Try and have any fun in a not-story-approved manner and it’d rap you on the knuckles with a text message, telephone call, cutscene or simply locking you out until you’d grinded enough of the repetitive missions or side-missions. It felt like being back in chemistry at school, you have a whole world of interesting and fun things to play with, but are denied by some sour face old bugger who insists you memorise the periodic table rather than experimenting with acids and the top of your desk.
      Contrast with Saints Row 2, which gave you a similar world, actually rewarded you for having mucking about fun and had a story so unobtrusive it was a struggle to even find it half the time. It was more like the dog you grew up with as a kid; big, dumb but always happy to have a laugh.

    • Pointless Puppies says:

      Agreed with Archonsod. GTA IV not only took itself too seriously story wise, it took itself too seriously gameplay-wise as well. You couldn’t do anything even remotely fun without your caaaasin calling you to go bowling yet again. It’s like Rockstar completely forgot what made GTA games fun in the first place.

      Forgive us for not being excited at a teaser trailer that doesn’t exactly assuage our fears , @Tyrone Slothrop. And mjig was exactly right in saying GTA IV was laden with “pseudo-realism” crap, because that’s exactly what happened with that game. It’s like you expect us to fall over the chair paralyzed in excitement over a teaser that showed nothing, or else we’re bitter braindead internet angry men. It’s quite comical.

    • Nogo says:

      It doesn’t exactly confirm your fears either, which, I think, is his point.

    • mjig says:

      I sometimes feel like Rock, Paper Shotgun is getting bleed-over from Reddit, a place where people are so desperate to seem mature and anti-hipster that they refuse to allow anyone to admit they dislike something popular and hyped.

      Criticize one video game? YOU HATE VIDEO GAMES!


      I couldn’t care less about the graphics, scale, animation, or polish. I want fun. If I just hated video games, why would I be so excited for SR?

    • Nogo says:

      You called GTA4 a bunch of psuedo-realism crap and then immediately decided this game was going to be a bunch more psuedo-realism crap.

      That’s not criticism. That’s just being negative and overly opinionated. Don’t know why you feel that’s worth sharing.

    • mjig says:

      After RDR, LA Noire, and this trailer, do you really think it’s not safe to assume that it will be more of the same?

      Name one thing in the trailer that would give us reason to believe that it will be anything different.

    • Tyrone Slothrop. says:

      “Ignoring for the moment the writing was below par for a kindergarten class.”

      It’s impossible to take you seriously with such shitty hyperbole like this. The conversations between Niko and Roman reflecting on the American experience were some of the best writing in games, his very interaction with others is just so naturalistically and elegantly written and performed that it stuns me you can’t even have a relatively sober evaluation.

      Also -what- are you talking about? Me and a friend would take turns or play co-op getting into various car chases, murder sprees, symphonies of chaos indulging in the incredible gameplay mechanics that were -for the first time- in a GTA game, superior to games dedicated to said mechanics. Shooting felt more satisfying than most games dedicated to shooting, the impact of bullets on people was unsurpassed, their reactions to various hit locations fundamentally affected gunfights. The A.I. was finally competent; it took cover rather than running towards you, stopping and firing. The handling was far more sophisticated, considered more variables and gave a greater sense of momentum, inertia and traction than most games dedicated to racing. It takes a clusterfuck of shit happening in Just Cause 2 to match the joy of expertly sliding a corner between two vehicles.

      Hmm, this is a troubling development; any time you did anything the game apparently (and this a first discovery, thank you for informing me of this heretofore unforeseen occurrence) stops you from enjoying the game. What the fuck? You realise you have no obligation to pick up the phone… and you can turn it off? So evidently, you’re telling me that the sound of a beeping phone- Oh! Sorry have to stop enjoying myself and deal with the horror of listening to an electronic tone. And what single cutscene prevented you from doing anything? Could it be nothing? Because I played the game recently for the third time… and that never happened. Are you talking about failing a mission because a person got away one was tailing? Because that’s it basically and until we see a glorious hybrid of Deus Ex and GTA, it’s not going to react to a largely linear story without generalised objectives like the former (find ‘X’ here).

      You’re analogy makes no sense so it’s not worth addressing but the previous point to that is called uh, what’s the term, apologies, progression? Something done in almost literally every game? It also served as an extended introduction to new gameplay mechanics… a naturalistic form of training missions quite popular also with that most hated of developers, Valve.

      Contrasted with a actually terribly written Saint’s Row 2 which actually had an incomparably worse port which did far less and wasn’t even supported with more than one or two patches, the worst handling on the PC, weapons as visceral as pop-caps and what? Because you can spray shit at people’s houses and have it appear in blocky-pre-arranged-textures and this is supposed to absolve its sins? And your impetus for having fun is receiving numerical, virtually meaningless ‘points’? That’s why you experiment in games? IV penalised you in no way for experimenting with the tools you’re given, you can say there were less tools but the ones you were provided in IV were among the best of any game, let alone of its type where concessions due to production costs usually mandate sub-par elements (see: Just Cause 2, Bethesda Games, et al. Doesn’t mean I don’t love them.)

      GTA V looks to have more of said tools than any previous game it seems in the series with even more of the aforementioned refinement. But by all means, deny the complexity and achievement of creating this.

      @Pointless Puppies

      It’s like you expect us to fall over the chair paralyzed in excitement over a teaser that showed nothing, or else we’re bitter braindead internet angry men. It’s quite comical.

      False dichotomy and a strawman?!


      Name one thing in the trailer that would give us reason to believe that it will be anything different.

      By the same token, give me any reason to believe it will be the same from the trailer? Dialogue without juvenile pop-culture references? No exploding dragon dildoes?


    • oceanclub says:

      Thanks, Tyrone. When I see the abysmal port Saints Row 2 praised in comparison to GTA IV, I feel I’m living in a bizarro world. I honestly thought that, gameplay-wise, GTA IV is by far the best of the series; the combat, the physics, the driving, the ability to replay missions straightaway or partway though, and the well-written characters.

    • Nogo says:

      I think it’s silly to form an opinion one way or the other based on advertisements. So I will refrain from commentary about the trailer beyond “I like the colors.”

      And what does RDR and LA Noire have to do with this? Both those studios are defunct.

      Besides, it’s really odd that people criticize IV for not being crazy enough as if they had the time and resources to include these features yet decided not to. It took three versions of GTA on the old engine to reach the scale and insanity of San Andreas, so why expect a brand new engine to be bursting with polished features?

    • DigitalSignalX says:

      You could always turn off the phone in GTA IV and that was basically “do anything you can imagine” time for as long as you pleased. As far as writing goes, almost all video game writing is horrid imo however GTA IV’s is arguably well above average.

    • henben says:

      “Ignoring for the moment the writing was below par for a kindergarten class” has to be a new high point in laughable angry internet man hyperbole. There aren’t many five-year-olds, or videogames writers of any age, who can write characters as rounded as Niko and his brother. I can still remember lines from IV. After you go to a fast food joint: “Just think Niko – back in the old country, we could have the exact same meal!”

      Yeah, GTA IV had its flaws. The “buddy” interaction was overdone, as they’ve subsequently tacitly acknowledged by dialling it back in the DLCs.

      But you can’t beat it for sense of place. The attention to detail, the choice of music, the insane ramblings of the talk show guests, the incidental dialogue – I guess these all fall under the hated category of “pseudo-realism” for you? As if creating a work of art (yes I went there) that holds up to a mirror to reality is somehow inherently a bad thing?

      The buddy interaction and the story didn’t stop you wandering around exploring the sandbox potential of the world at all. Maybe the Saint’s Row sandbox is more to your particular taste, but the naturalism and fairly deep simulation of the GTA IV world is what made it so much fun to mess around in.

      Some of my favourite GTA IV memories: stealing a motorbike from a rabbi; trying to jack a car only to have the owner pull a gun and chase me away; calling 911 to summon a police car so I could steal it, only for the cop to somehow flip the car as he arrived, then watching from behind a fence as he broke into a civilian car and stole it and then sped off; using multiplayer to play one-on-one tag, with one player trying to track down and kill the other who had to refrain from using weapons – the best thing about this is that the radar stops showing the other player’s location when you get close, so the runner could pull off narrow escapes like rounding a corner and disappearing into the subway, or climbing up a crane and then leaping into the ocean.

      That stuff *was* fun for me. It’s silly to say you “just like fun” as if the rest of us played hours and hours of GTA IV out of a misguided belief that it would help prevent bowel cancer or something.

    • skinlo says:

      I seem to be one of the few who enjoyed GTA4 as much as a I enjoyed GTA:SA. Of course the game play was crazier in SA, but 4 had better atmosphere and the amount of detail was insane. Didn’t mind the more serious game play or story either.

    • kyrieee says:

      Yeah the part where the first guy you work for does nothing but shout insults and threats at you, that was so well written. When Michelle starts insinuating that Niko’s involved in crime 30 seconds after meeting him, that was some subtle stuff right there. I also liked how conflicted Niko felt when he killed his first person after getting off the boat. It was something like “argh, I promised not to kill anyone!”, it really showed his human side. The fact that Niko will also do anything for anyone just to prove that his one dimensional loyalty establishes a contrast between him and Darko. It doesn’t make him a sociopath at all.

      No but seriously, I don’t know how you can say the game is well written. It’s just filled with so many tropes and bad dialogue, and Niko as a character just falls apart completely. They got away with having every gangster trope in the world in the previous games because they made them goofy, but in GTA IV they want you to take them seriously and it just falls apart. I don’t expect it to be The Wire, but since the story is basically a movie it is competing for my time more with those than with other games and it’s just not there. I could go pick up a random detective novel and it’d be better written.

    • shaydeeadi says:

      Tyrone, I would like to subscribe to your blog or newsletter. your opinion of GTA is near identical to mine.

      To add:
      There was this federal agent you worked for about half way through IV, in the middle of the most batshit insane 5-star car chase he would call you up and ask you WTF was going on with your crime spree and how you need to stay under the radar, usually as I was dropping grenades under SWAT vans, what is pseudo-realistic about that? It was straight up fucking hilarious! I never switched the phone off and got very low friendship ranks since I wanted that dude to call all the time.

      And the dialog was almost never ending, I stole a taxi once with a dude in and didn’t let him leave, when the car caught fire 20 minutes later he still had more things to say about the situation. How many games have that much dialog, and detailed dialog at that?

    • JuJuCam says:

      What I personally find troubling with GTAIV is a disconnect between what the art direction and writing is attempting and what the gameplay provides. A more striking example of the same disconnect occurs in Dead Rising 2, a game that will happily allow you to go on your quest to save your dying daughter while dressed in a boob tube or a suit of armor. Your zombie horde massacre is punctuated with moments of tense drama.

      GTA has consistently been a series about (amongst other things) generating mayhem and not only getting away with it but being rewarded for it. When my joyful rampage is over and I go back to a story that is concerned with a man who is morally conflicted about helping his murderous psychotic friends and family, it feels like I’m playing two different games, with two different lead characters. I don’t feel like the actions that I want to perform are the same as the actions that my character wants to perform.

      This probably isn’t quite the same complaint that everyone else has, but it’s definitely what made me lose interest in completing the game.

    • shaydeeadi says:

      But ServBot headgear and a waitress costume make those moments so much more touching.

    • Tyrone Slothrop. says:


      You know, if you want to convince someone, you could at least avoid crudely and glibly restating or misrepresenting entirely what occurs, attacking this misrepresentation or gross simplification and then throwing-up your hands claiming earnestly that you’re not expecting a definitive and unmitigated masterpiece but that this conception you find so offensive is beyond the pale for the aforementioned reasons.

      Like for instance;

      I also liked how conflicted Niko felt when he killed his first person after getting off the boat. It was something like “argh, I promised not to kill anyone!”, it really showed his human side.

      Well that is mediocre writing, which is why I’m glad that’s not in the game.

    • Pointless Puppies says:

      And the dialog was almost never ending, I stole a taxi once with a dude in and didn’t let him leave, when the car caught fire 20 minutes later he still had more things to say about the situation. How many games have that much dialog, and detailed dialog at that?

      And this here is why I will never understand the fans of GTA IV. Honestly, who gives a shit how many lines of dialogue from the dude in the Taxi says? The shooting is sub-par, the driving is stiff, the mission structure is bland, the characters one dimensional, but HOLY SHIT THE GUY HAS 20 MINUTES OF DUALOGUE.

      It’s like people don’t even care if the game surrounding the pretty (at the time. It’s ugly in 2011) engine is bad. The detail is there and it’s so “immersive”, so the game is automatically good.

      @Tyrone Slothrop:
      False dichotomy and a strawman?!

      Oh, pray tell, Mr. “Misunderstood”, what WERE you saying when you made the statement that we just love to “hate” on games? You seem completely ignorant of the fact that this was but a teaser trailer that showed nothing about the game except the standard GTA storyline.

      Childishly pointing and shouting “STRAWMAN!!!!” doesn’t make for a good argument. It just shows you have nothing useful to say.

    • Archonsod says:

      “It’s impossible to take you seriously with such shitty hyperbole like this. The conversations between Niko and Roman reflecting on the American experience were some of the best writing in games,”

      And if you think that was the best writing in games, I can only conclude you’re either an idiot, illiterate or haven’t actually played any games outside of GTA . A couple of racial stereotypes and the insertion of the word “fuck” into every other sentence is well below the current high point of game writing; which isn’t exactly a high bar to aim for in the first place.

      “When I see the abysmal port Saints Row 2 praised in comparison to GTA IV, I feel I’m living in a bizarro world”

      Because the GTA IV port was perfect? Oh no wait, it’s still gubbed.

      ““Just think Niko – back in the old country, we could have the exact same meal!””

      Yep, I’m sure Shakespeare is simply rolling in his grave for not coming up with that one.

    • kyrieee says:

      “Well that is mediocre writing, which is why I’m glad that’s not in the game.”

      You’re gonna make me dig it up? Fine

    • Tyrone Slothrop. says:

      @Pointless Puppies

      what WERE you saying when you made the statement that we just love to “hate” on games?

      Yeah, what was I saying? Because I never used those words and it takes five fucking seconds to scroll up and reread; I said ‘dislike’ with the clear implication your criticism was reflexive, never that you “love to hate” or the royal ‘we’ love to hate games. But you seem to have a knack for completely misrepresenting things.

      You do avoid the overt and subtle inclusions of things lacking in GTA IV which were missed from San Andreas, not to mention the promise and allure of hinted new features. Also reducing a game down into it’s barest elements so its structure and theme begin to accelerate to a broadness which threatens to encompass all media is not substitute for compelling argument.

      Now this is truly bizarre: If you use a straw-man, don’t whine when someone accurately observes you’re foisting a straw-man argument and attacking it for some bullshit rhetorical victory. What? And then you claim such exposure is childish to do whilst also conveniently ignoring the stupid false dichotomy that you made in the first place. You must be trolling.


      “And if you think that was the best writing in games, I can only conclude you’re either an idiot, illiterate or haven’t actually played any games outside of GTA . A couple of racial stereotypes and the insertion of the word “fuck” into every other sentence is well below the current high point of game writing; which isn’t exactly a high bar to aim for in the first place.

      Oh yes, I remember this GTA IV where every black or minority character was the same and a stereotype, there was no nuance or complexity, contradiction and principle in any of them. The car conversations had “fuck” in every other sentence rather than explore implicitly a surprisingly large swath of human emotion for gaming; the interplay of pessimism and optimism, the very issue of modernity being pregnant with contradiction, the dualities of pop-culture, globalisation, advertising, deception, reality and perception (with resonance in Jacob’s and Badman’s cannabis use and paranoia, Brucie’s intense ego, the ubiquitous commercialisation, etc.). Also swearing? Really? That’s your textual analysis? As if it’s mutually fucking exclusive, have you heard of Glenngarry Glenn Ross? Tropic of Cancer? The Wire?

      Honestly, now it seems as if you’re definitely trying to not merely misrepresent but to demonstrate you didn’t pay the remotest attention, let alone understand anything in the game.


      I thought you were generally alluding to moments of regret by Niko and I can’t say I’ve actually seen that since it’s a semi-randomised (see below for an alternate reading) quote. Or if I did, thought so little of it since it’s the totality of the script that matters and your citation of it is meaningless for the same flawed reasoning that you can fault Cormac McCarthy as being unspeakably bad because you find one sentence or even a dozen to be inelegant or awkward in one of his novels.

    • Gpig says:

      Holy shit, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an internet argument won as soundly as the one between kyrieee and tyrone slothtrop right now. Person 1 claims that writing is shit and gives an obviously ridiculous example. Person 2 counters that writing is not shit and suggests person should refrain from hyperbole and use actual examples from the game. Person 1 links to video showing that the example was a direct god damn quote of writing worse than that of kindergartner. If this were a dunk contest the backboards on both sides of the court would be shattering while the song from space jam plays.

    • Gpig says:

      Your mothers a whore.
      My mother is not a whore.
      *video of person’s mother accepting cash to engage in spectacular orgy*

    • ulix says:

      This is pretty amazing. Tyrone rethorically AND argumentatively DESTROYS the haters, but surely they’ll have more shit to say, just for the sake of having the last word.

    • Quirk says:


      Not having played GTA, I’m not really able to comment on your general thesis, but when your riposte to “the writing is worse than a kindergarteners, look at this” is to post a clip in which the main character stabs someone to death and says “You shouldn’t play with sharp objects, Dardan!”…

      … it might be time to take a big old step back and consider either disengaging or approaching the problem from another angle, because that clip? That clip is evidence for the prosecution, not the defence, and using it kind of undermines your hoped-for image as someone who knows good writing from bad.

    • Tyrone Slothrop. says:


      We’ve reached a level where we evaluate what I believe is an over 1,000-page script by two lines? I addressed this in my example of Cormac McCarthy. No discussion of the themes explored elsewhere? The allusion, social commentary, inter-personal relationships, what’s deliberately told and untold about the characters. even the humour and satire of over-hyped “sporting” events like Las Venturas Poker Challenge? The scope of critical theory from Marx to Foucault is redundant now that we can pick-apart one-liners and generalise the findings thereof.

    • Quirk says:


      We can talk Marx and Foucalt all day, but, you know, at some point we need to engage with the actual game under discussion. This is going to consist of actual textual analysis, or whatever the video game equivalent is. And when your “defence” is to post dialogue which is almost equally as absurd and terrible as the initial accusation, it makes all your name-dropping look rather like hot air. If we were talking about two random lines offered up by kyrieee, your defence might be kind-of valid (if extremely weak), but you produced the second of these lines for us, yourself, in an attempt to show that the dialogue was not terrible. Do you understand how this makes you look?

    • Tyrone Slothrop. says:

      …but you produced the second of these lines for us, yourself, in an attempt to show that the dialogue was not terrible.

      Did you even read the context? It’s a serious question because you’ll see I produced it to show what I heard in place of the initial quotation which I mistook for a gratuitous paraphrased summation rather than a line of direct dialogue. It was to clarify this mistake and explain my ignorance of this one apparently definitive piece of evidence, never did I claim it or what I hear at the time as some example of good writing. And I already provided various examples of themes explored in dialogue (see my post at 21:19) which are afuckingtypical of much of mainstream cinema, let alone gaming, this achievement, widely regarded except to perhaps three people here, apparently would be embarrassing to a kindergartner. That’s all I can say without repeating myself.

    • Quirk says:


      Sorry, but listing the themes explored doesn’t show us evidence of actual good writing. Bad writers can explore exactly the same themes as good ones; it just tends to result in extra cringe factor as they struggle with issues that are clearly beyond their competence to express.

      And so we come back to actual game content. Like I say, I have not played the game in question. It would certainly help if you found us some examples of good writing. At this point however, the thesis “writing below par for a kindergarten class” looks to have some evidence supporting it, and I’m seeing how someone could easily have walked away with that impression. I suspect many other points through the game have lines at least as crass and awkward as “you shouldn’t play with sharp objects, Dardan”. At the very least, it should be obvious to you that other people might well have been exposed to stinker after stinker of “semi-randomised” line that you’ve missed, tearing your “his very interaction with others is just so naturalistically and elegantly written and performed” to shreds. I also find it hard to discount the possibility that you’ve run into many terrible lines and ignored them.

      Seriously, I think you need to come at the problem from another angle. Produce some subversion of tropes, some interesting and meaningful conversation, some subtle character building. Without that, your defence is so generic it could be used to defend almost anything, including the films of Uwe Boll. (Slap a fancy description of the themes on there, claim that only the totality counts, and you’re good to go.)

    • henben says:

      I guess the best thing to do would be to play the game instead of relying on random YouTube snippets. Playing it for half an hour would establish the writing isn’t particularly *bad* by videogame standards. Certainly not kindergarten bad. Especially not if we’re holding up Saint’s Row 2 as the standard.

      Now, aesthetically, you might not like the more downbeat approach compared to the wacky hi-jinks of SR2, but that’s a slightly different question.

      As for the conflict between Nico’s character in the cutscenes and Nico’s behaviour when I, the player, decide to take him on a kill-crazy rampage or run down a granny halfway through a mission – I’m happy to write that off as a genre convention that a sophisticated audience is expected to take in stride. Like how people in a play speak in “stage whispers” to indicate that nearby characters can’t overhear, even though they realistically could.

      It would be amazing if the game remembered your random hit and runs and used them as story seeds, though. Say you run someone over in the first five minutes, and then two hours later you find that there’s a hitman on your tail hired by their grieving family.

  29. nimzy says:

    All you had to do was watch the damn trailer CJ!

    • nimzy says:

      :40 is a very familiar face. It looks like the government agent from GTAIV.
      :55 foreclosure sign — sounds like instead of “rags to riches” we’re going to see “riches to rags” beforehand.
      :59 is scathing humor about the homeless. Guy doesn’t look like Nico.
      1:05 the police car’s a “Vapid”

  30. Furius says:

    I saw Tommy. Was that a homeless Nico holding a sign as well? And CJ running from the cops? Surely not, CJ’d be in his mid-40’s by now.

  31. AchronTimeless says:

    So umm.. yeah. That was disappointing.

    See, I remember GTA and GTA2. Those were over the top fun fests. GTA3 was an interesting take on making it 3D, but it still had some quirkiness about it. Where did things go wrong? It’s like Rockstar started taking themselves seriously or hired a writer that really had dreams of writing gritty movie scripts rather than for games. Where did the fun go?

    Oh, that’s right, to Saints Row. Pretty sad when another company can come along and out-GTA the actual GTA series.

    • Pointless Puppies says:

      During an episode of that one webseries (Extra Credits, to be precise), Mr Chipmunk Voice mentioned there are far too many writers in the industry who approach things with the mentality of a wannabe movie writer rather than a writer for video games.

      I find that Rockstar consistently does this. With their gigantic focus on “cinematic” presentations and cutscenes and with the fact that the basic mechanics of their games are always sub-par, it’s really obvious these people would much rather be making movies than games. It’s like they’re begrudgingly adding a game to their movie against their will, and it certainly shows when they have dozens of “drive here, shoot this” missions with little else in between. There’s a problem with your game when the cutscenes are more entertaining than the actual game. (GTA IV took this issue of theirs to an extreme level)

    • MikoSquiz says:

      That’s been an idea I just can’t get away from for a long time: Rockstar are bored with games and don’t want to make them any more, and would rather dispense with those pesky interactive bits altogether. GTAIV’s hybrid of loose open-ended sandbox gameplay and a rail-guided cast-iron plot is just kippers-with-jam beyond belief.

      Mind you, I went back to play GTA3 and Vice City recently and I could not believe how abjectly below-par all the game mechanics were in both. They *have* come a long, long way. It just hasn’t been far enough, and they don’t seem to know where they’re going, either.

    • AchronTimeless says:

      Spot on for both of you (assuming this reply gets put in the proper place, I hate how commenting is set up on this site). I just can’t help but think that Rockstar is sitting on the fence and giving us the worst of both worlds here. If I wanted an in depth and dark story line, I can find much better attempts elsewhere… if I wanted a great game, I can also find much better attempts elsewhere. What the GTA series has become just rings hollow in both facets rather than giving me something new that I am willing to part with money over.

      If anything, this really reminds me of id software. Remember when they made the only good FPS games? How everyone would drool over whatever they’d made recently because it was the absolute best in technology and gameplay available at the time? Now look at them. Rockstar is walking the exact same path.

      I think it’s a good sign though that games are maturing. No longer are we looking at a particular studio and judging the work based on that, but we’re actually looking at the individual merits of each offering. All the “street cred” these studios had in the past is worthless if they can’t do anything relevant with it.

  32. Spakkenkhrist says:

    I don’t hate mountains! Also pilotable (definitely a real word) planes appear to be back.

    • mjig says:

      I thought the reason they didn’t have them in GTA4 was because of the whole piloting a plane in NYC thing after 9/11. I mean, it’s a pretty stupid reason, but you know someone would have latched onto it and talked about how video games train terrorists or something.

    • Nogo says:

      I’m sure the only reason they didn’t implement a fully realized flight simulator into their gangster drama was political. Yup.

  33. Erithtotl says:

    Looks pretty. But why can’t they set one in Europe for a change instead of just recycling the same 3 US locations over and over.

    • TNG says:

      London was one of my favourite games and I was actually hoping they went the same route with V. Oh well…

    • Donjo says:

      I didn’t really like the London setting, just didn’t seem as exotic or something like that…. looking forward to this though, they’ve pretty much all been awesome games.

    • Qazi says:

      I’m sure there is a lot of material we can work with, with European shenanigans, politics and the ideosyncracies to how we live.

      However, the minutiae of U.S. culture and social issues are almost intuitive to lots of the computer game playing “Western” world, so it is automatically easier to write satire about and just generally take the piss out of U.S. Americans, and still appeal to the widest audience.

    • gwathdring says:

      It certainly is strange living in the US and realizing how much people from other countries seem to know about my domestic politics. Part of that comes down to many countries doing a better job of developing international interests than the US does. I know I at least follow elections in other countries all the time, as I’ve been lucky enough to have some fairly advanced political science courses in high school that gave me the tools to understand what was going on in a fair number of countries and how their governments differ from mine– but most kids at my school didn’t take those classes and most schools here don’t offer anything similar. But part of it is also probably the size of the US. The scope of the US government is such that many of our states cover similar areas to whole countries in Europe. The sheer number of elections and the sheer mass of political information with respect to US domestic politics can be a little overwhelming at times which makes it a little easier to see why many Americans fail to follow foreign politics to the extent that many foreigners follow US politics (incidentally, this is also part of why our voter turnout is miserably low).

      That said … I would love to see more of the great cities of the world that are harder for me to reach represented in my video games just as I’m sure some of you would like to see more of the cities you know well show up in your video games.

  34. timmyvos says:

    Interesting they used 1960’s music. I would’ve expected something more modern than The Small Faces.

    • simonh says:

      The first trailer for GTA 4 used Philip Glass’s Pruit Igoe, Rockstar definitely tries to be a little original with their music choices.

    • Donjo says:

      Pruit Igoe was a fantastic choice of music, I wasn’t so interested in another addition to the series before that but the trailer blew me away.

    • Edgar the Peaceful says:

      Yes, that struck me too. Sounded pretty modern though – in this context. That’s quite an atypical Small Faces number in that it doesn’t sound dead on Mod 1966 swinging London.

  35. MonkeyMonster says:

    You can see it’s modern based on dress styles and cars. I too think I saw the protagonists from the others… cheeky :D

  36. Furius says:

    Climbable mountains AND decent animations eh? Bethesda?

    (Not that I’m having a go at Skyrim, I can’t wait for it, so I’ll append with an emoticon so people know I’m kidding)


  37. Arkaniani says:

    Is it me or did the voice actor for the main character sound a lot like Ray Liotta? Could it be an older Tommy Vercetti?

  38. ftookl says:

    Listening to what the voice over was saying it looks like they’re going for riches to rags this time around. Or at least riches to rags to riches.

  39. DickSocrates says:

    Graphically it looks amazing. I can’t believe that’s raw in-engine footage, it just looks so much better than GTAIV. The attention to detail is what really stands out though, and that was already pretty mind bending in GTIV. But if after all that it’s just another GTA game (which of course it will be, just like GTAIV was) then I’m am honestly beginning to wonder what’s the point any more.

    Currently playing through Lost and Damned and it’s borderline broken in terms of controls. And the plot is rubbish. Just like every GTA before it. Rockstar are magnificent at creating a city, but as a video game company, they are actually quite inept. Combat doesn’t work properly, driving doesn’t work properly, moving around doesn’t work properly, 90% of missions are the same and boring. They combine second or third rate mechanics from different genres into one game and at times it is enough. Can V be the first time they get (any of) the basics right? Or will I be asked to fumble my way through yet more ‘Go here and shoot this gang because some racial/sexual caricature told you to despite it having basically nothing to do with your character’?

    The dialogue is always good (though the main character you play as is always bizarrely exactly the same type of person). But the stories are always atrocious. But I still can’t help but be pulled in by games that offer realistic cities to just explore, because I like doing that in real life and I’m also a misanthrope who harbours a secret desire to kill everyone I see.

    We already know how it will review, 9s and 10s across the board ‘truly the greatest thing ever done by humans’, just like GTAIV. And then a month later, everyone complaining about how the entire thing is broken, just like GTAIV. And yet I still want it.

    • Jesse L says:

      I’m with you, Dick.

      I think thematically too they could use a change. I would like to see them rail against something other than American hypocrisy for a change. Or, if they REALLY care SO MUCH about the topic, I’d like to see them try to have something halfway insightful to say. Or, if that also can’t happen, I’d like to see them shit on horrible rich bastards slightly more than on the underclass. You know, pick a sort-of constructive target, rather than smear filth all over everything. If that can’t happen either, I’d like to dislike my protagonist less this time.

      Nice haze though, am I right? Good colors. I really mean it, I’m half-sold just from the look. I can’t resist walking around in a game world like that.

    • gwathdring says:

      Well put, Jesse.

  40. asshibbitty says:

    Look at the sign the hobo’s holding. Haha more biting social commentary from R*! Those lovable fucking idiot asshole pieces of shit.

    Imagine I pointed out any other bit of daftness then.

    I like the shading on wind turbines, seems to be calculating or faking reflected light?

    • Jesse L says:


      Actually I’ve seen a lot of homeless people with signs like that. It’s not commentary, it’s normal.

    • iucounu says:

      Seen exactly that sign many times.

  41. leftclick says:

    Hey RPS, first off that Sanctum ad in yo background is broken….I guess that penis of a game has erictile disfunction………

    Anyways, the hype for this trailer was ridiculous, its based off the same game engine and we already know how badly optimized it is. Id rather see Redemption on PC, based purely on having good mouse controls. I hate aiming on a analog stick.

  42. zind says:

    I saw a “No Fishing” sign in one of those scenes. Seeing as how the rest of these games have consisted of being habitually outside the law, can we confidently expect a fishing minigame?


  43. bluebogle says:

    I was really hoping they might actually try a female lead this time. :(

    • Blackseraph says:

      One more reason why saint’s row the third is prolly going to be better.

    • ulix says:

      Like Saint’s Row 2 was better than GTA IV?

      Except that it was (mostly) shit, and GTA IV was (mostly) pretty amazing?

      I’m also looking forward to Saint’s Row 3, because it looks like this time they might actually be able to produce a half decent game.

      But seriously: two completely different games.

    • steggieav says:

      Nuh-uh, Saints Row 2 was (mostly) amazing, while GTA IV was (mostly) shit. You’ve got it all backwards!

  44. Raiyan 1.0 says:

    Double post.

  45. Raiyan 1.0 says:

    Dis I see a fighter flying overhead?

    Can I ride it? :D

    And will please people stop hating on GATV for the sake of SR3? I don’t see why a balls-out-insane game and a narrative-driven-sandbox co-exist. This gives me vibes from Vice City, and I loved that game.

    • DigitalSignalX says:

      I didn’t see a fighter, but at 0:18 there is a blimp (or as you foreign folks would say, “dirigible”). I’m hoping that can be flown, burned, crashed into, landed on and jumped over.

    • Raiyan 1.0 says:

      There is a jet at around 1:00.

      And also, dirigibles, woo hoo! :O

  46. Pictoru says:

    If they put that STUPID video details limitation like in IV ….i’m gonna have to choke a bitch ! (in-game ofc)
    if i want to play at 5 fps on ultra details with my 512vram card THAT’S MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS !

  47. Pointless Puppies says:

    OK, stop me if you’ve heard this one: Troubled man who wants a “re-do” in life but his “dark past” comes back and he must face it head on.

    That sure wasn’t the plot for San Andreas and GTA IV, no siree. Is it just me or is Rockstar finally running out of ideas? Nothing in this trailer made me think this sequel was necessary.

    • sneetch says:

      Seems to be standard plot #1 alright, although of course it’s the details that make the story. Gameplay wise I think GTA IV lacked that special something but the story and world were good (not original mind you, but still good).

      Setting wise I’d prefer Grand Theft Starship at this stage or a prohibition era game, or Cold War Russia. Somewhere in Cuba or Europe just anywhere but LA or New York.

    • MikoSquiz says:


  48. RogB says:

    I’m not hugely keen on GTA but would very much like Red Dead Redemption 2 in this new engine. oh yes.
    (RDR on pc would be a start though)

  49. alundra says:

    It definitely has an LA feeling to it so unless they want to make a vice city in los santos… It’s defintely the same or a more advanced version of the same engine, I hope that in “advanced” there’s a hint of optimized included in the package.

    people comparing to saints row are right to some extent, the GTA series have been on decline after San Andreas, still, I hope the increased competition brings new life to it.

    oh and if it’s the same engine, unless a huge job in optimization (for the PC) was done, forget running this at 100/100 before the world ends.

    Wikipedia states that ” It reveals the location to be Los Santos, the fictional city of Los Angeles (as rumored) and its California surroundings, including Hollywood (“Vinewood”) and rural hills and valleys”

    • skinlo says:

      How can the series be in decline with one game. Trends indicate decline, not one offs. Anyway, I reallly enjoyed GTA 4, at least as much as SA.

    • alundra says:


      one game?? you think gta 4 is the only game after S:A?

    • BoZo says:


      Not counting the games for the toyboxes, yes.

      Untill LA Noire finally gets released.

    • Magnetude says:


      There was GTA4 after San Andreas, which *some* people think was a step backwards. Then there was Lost and Damned, an expansion pack, which upped the ante a little bit but was generally worse in my view. Then there was The Ballad of Gay Tony, another expansion, which reintroduced parachutes, grenade launchers, tanks and a lot of the good old batshit insane stuff from the previous GTAs, plus the mission redo feature that San Andreas was sorely lacking. So if we count the expansion packs as ‘games’, they’ve been on the rise again as I see it. And if we don’t, then Skinlo is right and there has only been one game since, and if Rockstar North continue in the pattern they’ve run with for the series up to now (GTA2 > GTA1, GTA:SA > GTA:VC > GTA3) then this one should be a corker.

  50. Donjo says:

    There’s a blimp at 1:04. Really hope there’ll be flyable blimps.