A successful videogaming franchise is to see another installment! I know, whoever would have believed it? Whether Rockstar’s ever-exciting but nauseatingly over-speculated-about latest drive’n’shoot’thumper is going to be on PC as well as the toyboxes is something I don’t know at present, because I am writing these words 39 minutes in the past. You, however, are reading them 39 minutes into my future, and may already know the answer. Wait, 38. So I’ve put some fancy embed code in below that will hopefully magically transform into a live and kicking, honest-to-grud GTA V trailer come exactly 4pm UK time. If it doesn’t work, it’s probably because I’m an incompetent wuckfit, but you can see it on Rockstar’s own site. Or, y’know, every single videogame site on the internet, who’ve all been deploying all their most desperate attempts at SEO glory over the last week or so. Well done those sites, and I’m sure it will result in only the very highest-quality comment threads.
Hope it’s a good trailer, anyway. I’ll add some thoughts, if there are many to be had, once it’s unlocked and I’ve watched it. GODSPEED, VIDEOGAME FANS. I’ll see you on the other side of the marketing frenzy.
Good grief! Set in 18th Century Belgium and starring Starscream? I never would have guessed it.
And here’s the instant RPS commentary on what we’ve just seen:
Jim: I liked the bit with the plane
Adam: There was a jet ski. I think there was a jet ski.
Alec: I liked the golf sweater the most
Jim: jet skis are like symbols of the idle wealthy, right?
Alec: yeah – I think they’re going to hybridise Vice City and San Andreas, without repeating the 80s trick again
Adam: I hope when he refers to “that…that line of work” and says he now wants to be a good guy for once, it turns out he used to be an investment banker.
Alec: or an SEO expert
Jim: Yeah, it looks like a game about a nice man who likes golf and hiking.
John: I really, really wish it were.
Alec: so, how do we feel? It didn’t have that omigodomigod of GTA IV, I must say
Alec: or make me want to go out and buy lots of LCD Soundsystem records right away
John: Bully was so amazing. I wish they’d be brave enough to be low-key again.
Adam: It can be, John. Rockstar just put the cars, guns and hookers there. You don’t HAVE to use them.
Alec: All the commentors are pointing out that the jet ski is called the Speedophile 2000. That’s the kind of subtle, edgy humour we’re in for, then.