Dorkly: Squiggly Piece Rotates Right

The man writes the caption for the screenshot.

Well this is unquestionably glorious. Did you play Bastion? Of course you did. You wouldn’t be so epically silly as to ignore our insistence that you do, nor to have failed to buy it last week when it cost about 7p. So since you did, you’ll be familiar with the wonderful voice of the narrator, and his real-time commentary on the action. But, wondered Dorkly, where else might this be applied?


  1. Rii says:

    I did fail to buy Bastion last week when it was on special, actually. /sadface

    • MattM says:

      I wanted to get it but my backlog is ridiculous. I think it might be 500 games across 5 systems. I have promised to only get games if I am going to play them right now and I am currently lost in dark souls. Or if its on sale for $5 .

    • Ondrej says:

      Failed as well, since I don’t like the manga style. It might be a good game, but the gfx turned me off big-time.

    • ZephyrSB says:

      Manga-style? Because it contains a colour palette of more than brown, brown and more brown? I keep hearing this, but the art is distinctly steampunk western – I mean, the characters actually have facial features and stuff. All very much un-manga-like.
      (Obviously, if the art doesn’t gel with you that’s fine, just don’t accuse it of something it isn’t :p)

    • Raiyan 1.0 says:

      Man, you’re missing out quite a lot if you refuse to associate yourself with anything vaguely manga-seque…

    • Lars Westergren says:

      I don’t think it’s a cause to automatically reject the game, but I agree that the characters look rather manga-ish, and especially Zelda-JRPG. Big heads, big eyes.

      link to

    • Beebop says:

      You’re quite right. I didn’t play the original Deus Ex because I don’t like people who wear sunglasses during the day. I don’t regret my decision and neither will you.

    • Ultra Superior says:

      During day? But… his vision… was augmented…. you’re missing a lot, though I didn’t like trench coat and sunglasses back then as well, cheesy. I also didn’t play Bastion though I genuinely wanted to like the game. I played the demo and was prepared to buy it immediately – but the two key things
      – Narrator’s voice (as cheesy as sunglasses in matrix)
      – Gameplay

      I couldn’t stand any. I loved the graphics though.

    • Ravenholme says:

      Because we ALL know that vaguely out of proportion heads/eyes is unique to manga!


      Well, your loss.

    • Raiyan 1.0 says:



    • cafe says:

      @Ultr Superior
      What did you not like about the gameplay? I thought it was excellent! The only thing I didn’t like was that the only option to replay the levels was to start a new game thus loosing your current progress completely :(

    • Ultra Superior says:


      mainly it had to do with controls – I don’t use gamepad, so the kid often attacked to wrong direction / general feeling was that the game has very strict combat rules, and very clunky controls, with which you often feel like you are penalized for something you didn’t do wrong. And then, yes, you weren’t penalized, because you didn’t actually die…

      Others wrote that the controls had been changed since the release, so I should try the demo again, then.

    • Blackberries says:

      Ultra: you’ll probably remain disappointed.. I got the game last week and switched to a gamepad within 15 minutes of starting. They just haven’t got keyboard movement correct. It’s a big shame.

    • thaspius says:

      @Ultra Superior @ Blackberries I had zero problems with the control scheme. I played through about a month ago. It is really a straightforward movement and attack control setup.

    • Urthman says:

      I’m about 80% through the game and have had no trouble at all playing with keyboard and mouse. It’s not at all like Lara Croft where you have to jump at a 112-degree angle (there’s no platforming at all). If anything I’d think the game would be harder with a joypad given how precisely you can aim with a mouse. There’s a lock-on mechanic, but with a mouse it’s pretty easy to keep the cursor on top of a moving enemy without it.

      And I don’t know what “the game has very strict combat rules” means. Do you mean the counter system? That takes some tricky timing and there’s a couple foes I just can’t do it with, but you can always either dodge or just hold your shield and wait for an opening to attack instead. And there’s a training world for the shield (and every other weapon) to help you get the timing better. And there’s a couple tonics that boost your countering abilities.

      There are a wide variety of weapons that differ significantly in how you approach combat. You can choose the loadout that corresponds with the way you’d like to fight, including tweaking individual weapons to make them more precise or more spammy, doing more damage up front or doing ongoing damage if you prefer to hit and run.

    • westyfield says:

      I didn’t buy it either. Not because of the art style (which I think looks rather nice), but because I’ve got a vast backlog (Red Faction Guerilla, Shogun 2, Metro 2033, Deus Ex 3, Zeno Clash and more) and all I’m playing at the moment and in the forseeable future is BF3.

    • Mut says:

      I heard so many complaints about the KB/M for this game, but after playing through it, I really can’t understand why (unless people have trouble holding both “W” and “D” at the same time). Even the jumping section near the end was a cakewalk. I just don’t get it …

    • Highstorm says:

      @Ultra Superior

      With regard to the narrator voice, I had the same feeling after the demo. But a friend bought it for me as a gift last week and, after having beat it twice this last weekend, I can say that my initial judgment was way off base. It grows on you.

      To the controls, I found myself switching back and forth between KB&M and a Gamepad depending on the weapons I was using. I’d use KB&M for the ones that benefited from manual precision, and the gamepad for things like the dual-pistols that required a fast trigger while letting the auto-aim take care of the rest.

    • pertusaria says:

      @UltraSuperior (mainly):

      I played it through on the keyboard and mouse and yes, I had a bit of trouble. It was OK for the main part of the game but I gave up on some of the weapons challenges (the one with the hammer comes to mind). I still enjoyed the game.

      Mind you, I was playing on a laptop with a mousepad, so I probably wished some of the problems on myself. One of these days I’ll game with my computer on a table so’s I can use proper peripherals.


      I agree that the jumping in late levels is well possible with a basic setup. I didn’t find it a “cakewalk”, but I’m not very uber.

    • gmcleod says:


      There are exactly zero levels of Deus Ex set during the day. The developers ran out of time developing the lighting engine or something.

  2. Meneth says:

    “Did you play Bastion? Of course you did.”
    I didn’t. Now I feel inadequate :/
    In my defense, I’ve got too many games I haven’t finished yet.

    • LukeAllstar says:

      That’s no excuse!
      My list of unfinished games fills an A4 paper and i still bought it (but haven’t finished it YET >.<)

    • TylerC says:

      I dont know why people complain about expending 7 dollars. I have more than 30 games that are even more expensive than Bastion and Im not playing them by the moment.

      But I can tell you something, Bastion is TOTALLY WORTH THE FULL PRICE (especially if you like narrative voice style like in Max Payne).

      Most excuses I’ve read in here just seem plain cheapness of the pocket to me. Cheesy ? Manga Style ? Narrator ? Excuses!!

      Believe me, if you liked the demo, you will love the game.

  3. Wulf says:

    Of course I did. And that was very amusing.

  4. neolith says:

    I too didn’t get the game. Somehow managed to miss the sale. Bummer :(

  5. NotoriousR says:

    Am I the only one who thinks he doesn’t quite sound the same? Is it actually Logan Cunningham or someone pretending to be him?

  6. Squishpoke says:

    It writes a caption for the screenshot.

    It puts the words on the page.

  7. NathanH says:

    I’ll probably play Bastion only when steam sales get so ridiculous that they start paying me to play. It’s a shame that the otherwise high polish didn’t extend to non-awful mouse-and-keyboard control.

    Good video though.

    • Tuco says:

      Oh, shut up.

    • NathanH says:

      Well, the controls are awful, aren’t they? Some people can live with that, some people can use controllers, I can do neither.

      I’d have bought it if there’d not been a demo, amusingly.

    • Shar_ds says:

      This man, NathanH, speaks the terrible truth

    • Beebop says:

      No, they’re not awful, they’re a tiny, tiny inconvenience. I barely noticed it until I read the review, to be honest (which I did after playing it, because John told me to). And it’s only the keyboard controls, the mouse is fine, and it’s only when you need fine control, which is rarely.

    • bwion says:

      You do realize they actually fixed the problem with the keyboard controls not mapping well to the cardinal directions in the game, right?

    • NathanH says:

      Well I couldn’t control it without getting frustrated, and it kept attacking in different directions from that which I clicked, so I stopped playing. It’s a shame, but I’m glad that most people had better experiences or used controllers, because it does look like a good game that’s well worth its reviews, even if I can’t play it.

      bwion: No, I didn’t. Did they update the demo? I might have another go. Did they fix the not-attacking-where-you-click as well?

    • Ultra Superior says:

      NathanH: Amen.

      Rigid battle gameplay (do it this way or no way) combined with terrible controls. Bad combo.

    • johnpeat says:

      Here’s an idea – why don’t you plug in an XBOX Controller, the device for which the game was designed, and play it using that instead?

      I mean you COULD rubbish every manshoot for not having excellent guitar controls, couldn’t you?

      or you could play them with the controls the designer intended them to have…

      Next week on RPS – “idiot refuses to play DJ Hero because it doesn’t work with his fishing rod controller”.

    • Raiyan 1.0 says:

      @johnpeat: Now now, let’s not get unreasonable. The game came with promise of K&M compatibilty, and if it fails to deliver, the customer/potential customer has every reason to complain. NathanH has a reasonable complaint.

      On the other hand, controls got fixed, so everybody wins.

    • thaspius says:

      Agreed, the controls are fine.

      @frightlever … if you can’t enjoy the narrator’s story (which is a great story), why would you play any type of single player game. Stories are the heart of movies, video games, books, etc. The narrator and the story were both fantastic and the general atmosphere of the game was enchanting.

    • Berzee says:

      Some people say the Keyboard and Mouse controls are hard. That’s okay. It’s okay to be bad at computer games.

      I on the other hand beat it with either one or zero deaths outside of the arenas. I think it has something to do with being AWESOME at computer games.

    • Tuco says:

      @NathanH: I played it with a controller and it was absolutely fine.
      And before you even try to said anything: I’m mostly -actually almost totally- a PC focused gamer.

      I’m just not a mouse and keyboard zealot and I’m totally fine using a controller in those few genres and games where it is actually the better option.

  8. Lobotomist says:

    Played Bastion demo.

    It did nothing to me. So i didnt buy it even on discount.

    I usually support every indie. But sorry Bastion, just didnt click for me.

  9. Kieron Gillen says:

    I’m going to end up doing a big article of things anyone who actually cares about games should force themselves to acquire:

    1) If Manga visuals turn you off a game, get over it. Your aesthetic blinkers are alienating you from an enormous chunk of games.
    2) If you hate using a joypad, get over it. It’s a fundamental requirement for appreciating a huge chunk of games.
    3) If you hate using mouse and keys, get over it. It’s a fundamental requirement for appreciating a huge chunk of games.
    4) If realistic visuals turn you off, etc, etc.


    • NathanH says:

      Kieron, given that most of us have more games we want to play than time to play them, what is the advantage of spending time with games that you don’t like the look of when you could spend that time with games you like that look of? What is the advantage of spending time learning how to use a method of control that you are unfamiliar with when you can spend that time using a method of control you are comfortable with?

      I’m sure I’m missing out on lots of good games by being a PC-only, controller-inept person, but I spend the time I could be playing good console games by playing good PC games. Other people spend the time they could be playing good games with manga style by playing good games with a western style. And so on. It seems entirely reasonable behaviour to me.

    • Melliflue says:

      I agree with Kieron here. There are so many wonderful experiences that you may miss by refusing to accept an aspect of a game. If you don’t like the one aspect that people praise about the game then I understand you not playing the game, otherwise, to me it is like saying you won’t listen to an orchestra because the conductor is ugly.

      In this example, you may not like how Bastion looks or playing with a gamepad, but that is not what is special about Bastion (for me and I guess for many others). It is the narrator. It is the music. It is how the story is told. It does it much better than any other game I have played this year.

    • mickygor says:

      None of the others apply to me, but I’m not spending £35 on an accessory to play a game “the way it’s meant to be played.” Especially if there’s support for KB/M. If you’re going to go to the effort to implement KB/M support, you can go to the effort to make it actually work.

    • DrGonzo says:

      I’m disappointed by that comment. I thought you would be more understanding of different opinions.

      As for the controller comment, absolute pish! I’ve spent around 15 years ir more trying to get my dad to be able to game with a pad, probably a dozen different controllers. For some people ita genuinely impossible and mouse and keyboard really is the only way to go.

    • Kieron Gillen says:

      If you’re generally interested in the medium, these are things you should acquire. If you’re not, you’re fine.

      (It’s like music. I’d respect people’s ability to reject a whole genre if they want, but I’d respect them less as a serious critic of pop music. If you’re serious about it, you’re generally interested in what the appeal is everywhere, because the medium is enormous. I mean, I’m not a foodie. I’m fine with saying I’m not into XYZ food. That’s because I’m kinda casual about food. I’ve got food critic friends who will try and sample everything and know the best in all forms of food, because they are generally interested in it all, and want to know what there is to appreciate there.)

      Joypads? If you’re not willing to spend twenty quid on something that opens up all sorts of gaming grammar when you’re throwing down as much as people do for a PC, I raise an eyebrow.

      (You know when Alec did the SSHD article saying this was the single upgrade that would most improve your gaming experience? I wanted to do an article with the exact same subject line, but about a joypad.)

      Generally speaking, I’m pro people trying to get over things which are their problem rather than the object in question.


    • Lobotomist says:

      While I agree with Kieron.
      I must say that Bastion just didnt click with me because of entirely different reasons.

      Perhaps mostly because i expected it to be kind of Diablo action RPG, but it turned out to be more Zelda type game.

    • c-Row says:

      I guess people should get totally over draconic DRM schemes as well because not doing so is alienating them from an enormous chunk of games.

      I don’t care whether or not Final Fantasy Whichever features a great story that would even make my dog cry if I ever had one, but if I don’t like the art style nor the musical direction nor the game mechanics, why should I bother? I am a gamer, not a masochist, and there are only so many negative aspects (based on my own taste and opinion of course) I will be willing to cope with.

    • Urthman says:

      You don’t have enough time for your games but you have time to add comments to a thread about one of the games you categorically don’t care for?

      I don’t like RTS games at all, but I wouldn’t dream of cluttering a Starcraft thread with, “Meh, I hate all RTS games.”

      If you just categorically hate games that have anime-style graphics, why would you bother reading this thread, much less commenting?

    • Melliflue says:

      @ c-Row
      I think DRM should be treated differently because it is something that the developers have intentionally added that makes my life more awkward, whereas a poor KB/M control scheme (for example) is a lack of polish and was probably not intentional. Not using DRM should be less work for the developers, not more. Hence I refuse to play games with strict DRM but I can still accept flaws/things I don’t like in a game without it ruining the entire experience for me. Not everything needs to be perfect for me to enjoy a game.

      If you do not want to play the game then I have no problem with that, but if you want to consider yourself an enthusiastic gamer then I think you should be willing to try more games than those that have the art style, music, and mechanics you prefer. If you stick to a small subset of games then you are a fan of such games and not all of gaming. As an analogy, I don’t want somebody claiming to enjoy literature if they only ever read crime novels. If you know what you like and stick with it then great, but if you are a fan of gaming then you should want to at least try the games that do something special.

      In the example of Bastion, it tells a story in a way that is different to any other game I know. It is for that reason that I recommend people play it.

    • c-Row says:

      You don’t have enough time for your games but you have time to add comments to a thread about one of the games you categorically don’t care for?

      Being able to comment on a thread doesn’t imply one is sitting in front of his gaming PC, especially not in the early afternoon.

    • c-Row says:

      If you do not want to play the game then I have no problem with that, but if you want to consider yourself an enthusiastic gamer then I think you should be willing to try more games than those that have the art style, music, and mechanics you prefer. If you stick to a small subset of games then you are a fan of such games and not all of gaming.

      As I said, if the game in questions ticks too many checkboxes on my list of no-goes, then why bother? People have the right not to like something, but that doesn’t make them less of a gamer. If anything, it makes them less of a sheep.

      btw. I haven’t finished it yet, but I found Bastion rather enjoyable. Baah.

    • Urthman says:

      Because no one’s interested in your particular hang-ups about games?

      I never could get into one-one-one fighting games like Street Fighter. Isn’t that fascinating?

    • c-Row says:

      No, it isn’t.

    • Deano2099 says:

      Opting not to buy games with certain forms of DRM is by and large (and excepting people with flakey net connections and always-on DRM) a moral choice aimed at discouraging disruptive practices within the industry.

      Having a moral stance on owning a controller or anime-style graphics is, frankly, a bit odd.

    • c-Row says:

      Yes, but at the end of the day you still have missed what otherwise might be a great game. It’s a matter of how inconvenient something is for you. Some people might be totally fine with always-on DRM, and the sales numbers tell me that some people apparently bought the games affected, but might not touch a gamepad with a very long pole.

    • mickygor says:

      Exactly, if I buy a pad to game with, I’m supporting the lack of proper development of KB/M support as much as buying a game with “draconian” DRM supports DRM.

    • c-Row says:

      Not exactly, though you could argue that a game with poor KB/M support which sells well might send the same message to a developer/publisher. Why bother changing it next time when people are apparently fine with it?

      However, the point was that no matter what the reason – be it personal taste, morale, religion or whatever – you will skip what otherwise might have been a great game.

    • Dave Mongoose says:

      You know how we laugh at console FPS games, because an analog stick is obviously rubbish for aiming when compared to a mouse?

      Well, shockingly, sometimes it works the other way! Certain games just do play better with a gamepad/joystick (something to do with having two sources of analog input), the difference is that we can actually plug one into our PC whereas xbox gamers can only dream of using a mouse =D.

    • The Tupper says:

      With regard to gamepads: as someone round these parts pointed out a few days ago, there was a time when PC gamers prided themselves on the variety of input devices available to the platform. A rejection of a game that’s designed for a gamepad strikes me as a misguided brand loyalty borne of insecurity than anything else.

      I have a CH Yoke and pedals bought for flying FSX, but in the last year I’ve found an XBox 360 controller to be more intuitive (e.g. the left joystick controls head movement in the 3D cockpit more freely than a traditional hat stick ever did) and easier to live with.

  10. wodin says:

    I like manga visuals and my daughter loves em.

    I really don’t see what so bad about them.

    Reminds me of my youth and Battle of the Planets.

    • Raiyan 1.0 says:

      There’s plenty of Japanese artstyle I detest (lolicon), but ‘manga-esque’ artstyle encompasses such a wide variety that refusing to have anything to with them is bewildering.

      How much parallel can you form between Sword of the Stranger and Keroro Gunsou?

    • Wurzel says:

      Man, now I need to watch Sword of the Stranger.

    • Apples says:

      Well yes, it reminds me of my youth too. Only for me it brings up memories of DeviantArt, LiveJournal, bad fanart, and even worse BL mangas. So as much as I feel like I should be able to shake it off, there will always be an instinctive “This is awful crap for teenagers with no taste (i.e. me in the past)” gut reaction to anime style that I won’t be able to get rid of. For lots of people my age, I think that we were such immature assholes when we liked anime that when we grew out of it, we had a huge mental backlash against it and now assume that anyone who likes it must be an immature asshole.

      It’s not that it’s objectively bad, just that most people’s mental associations with it are really bad.

    • Urthman says:

      How much parallel can you form between Sword of the Stranger and Keroro Gunsou?

      Just in those two snippets you posted, you have the exact same convention of expressing emotion through unrealistic wide, stylized eyes, which I find very alienating and off-putting.

      It’s not in Bastion, fortunately. You spend 99% of the game zoomed-out so that the only hint of anime is that the main character’s hair is unnaturally spiky. I guess maybe some of the enemy designs have a slight anime feel.

      The environments, which are more than 90% of the beautiful artwork, don’t suggest “anime” to my eye any more than WoW or Prince of Persia 2008.

  11. yoggesothothe says:

    In regards to people not liking the style of the game: that’s a rather significant problem if “It’s a real case of the important success of style over substance” (according to John). Not sure why that complaint is being dismissed as immaterial. Plus, the very point of this video is to mock the heavy-handedness of narration that’s supposed to be so key to that style, is it not?

  12. michal.lewtak says:

    And here I was thinking that this year’s best pun in gaming was “I don’t want your damn lemons! I want photos, photos of Spiderman!”

  13. Beebop says:

    Reasonable? Maybe? Sensible? Not so much.

    It’s a totally arbitrary reason to discount a game. Games are not about art style or control scheme or DRM (yeah, I went there). They contain those things and in some cases those things are massively important parts of them, but unless the game is known and lauded simply for it’s amazing art style or control scheme and little else, or is completely slated for them, disliking it is no reason to discard the game.

    Yes, there’s a lot on the market and we all find it hard to keep up, even those blessed to be professional games journalists I would imagine, but the true gems are few enough that you can and you need a good reason to kick them to the kerb. Better than graphical style anyway.

    Edit: Bum, replied in the wrong place…

    • NathanH says:

      Shame about the reply fail, because this is a good reply. I think things probably hinge on how much you agree with “the true gems are few enough”. I don’t agree with it, so I don’t mind losing a vast chunk of potential games. If you do agree with it, then you are probably right. Kieron could perhaps amend his argument from “a huge chunk” to “some of the very few excellent games” or something like that, then it would be more persuasive.

  14. Nim says:

    All this screaming about Bastion being the game everyone must buy really put me off it. I’ve tried it after hearing some of the praise it received, more than the demo even, uninstalled the game less than half-way through. I did not connect with the controls, did not like the way the levels fell into place, narrator got on my nerves and before long I was muttering about him never shutting up, music was not my style, etc.

    I’ll give them credit for a novel idea, and decent enough execution but not everyone likes Bastion, get over it. Don’t force it on us, it will only turn to shit then.

  15. Advanced Assault Hippo says:

    Bastion is great visually and has a nice voice over (until the novelty wears off), but the gameplay is dullsville.

    I know there’s the whole debate on which components make up a game and how worthy they should be perceived, but I’m personally at a loss as to why Bastion has been put on such a pedestal.

    If it had a much better game to go with the audio/visual side of things, I’d be more enthusiastic towards it.

    • DrGonzo says:

      I feel very similarly about it. I live the style, voice over, story and world. But the actual game bit is awful. I’m currently forcing my way through it now, but have lost momentum about half way through.

      Forgot to mention the music its absolutely fantastic and I listen to it our of game quite a bit. Ira very relaxing.

    • Apples says:

      Agreed that the gameplay is pretty rubbish, but I don’t think it even needs to be better. I think an improvement would just be to have less of it. You have to go through gameplay to get story in the recollections, you have to go through gameplay even after getting the shard/whatever in each world to get back to the Bastion, all the rewards and upgrades are for gameplay instead of concept art/extra story bits etc. You can’t really interact with anything outside of the gameplay (i.e. hitting them), except for triggering some short cutscenes. For those who like the gameplay, great – for everyone else, it’s stopping them getting to bits they do like.

      Making combat optionally easier, so that players like me don’t have to retry levels, would also be really nice – especially since you can optionally make the game harder.

  16. fauxC says:

    I’m happy to accept that some people didn’t enjoy Bastion.

    Similarly, those people should be happy to accept that they are dead inside.

    • Advanced Assault Hippo says:

      Similarly, those who can only insult others if they happen to have a different opinion on something entirely subjective should be happy to accept they really need to grow up a bit.

    • BloatedGuppy says:

      Actually, Hippo, while you obviously have a right to your subjective opinion, that does not mean your subjective opinions are free from criticism or judgment. People are free to make their mind up about all sorts of things for all sorts of silly reasons, but those conclusions and reasons are as open to comment and debate as the subject matter itself. Especially if said people are voicing their opinions on a public forum. There are some pretty stupid, fussy reasons being given for not trying this game in here, chief amongst them “Too many people told me it was good, so now I hate it”. Kieron is well within his rights to call them on it. If people can’t stand having their goofy little biases and hang-ups commented on, then perhaps it’s they who need to do some growing up.

    • Advanced Assault Hippo says:

      I agree. Criticism is fine.

      Resorting to a general insult to anyone who disagrees with you? Childish.

    • fauxC says:

      Ok so I didn’t get the memo announcing that we take the phrase “you’re dead inside” seriously these days. Imagine my embarrassment!

      How about…

      It seems to me that the only way you could plausibly dislike Bastion is maybe if you’re too blinded by mechanics and the “gaminess” of games to open up to them emotionally. I would never argue it’s any kind of gameplay breakthrough. It’s a solid, standard, clicky-slashy/level-uppy thing, but nevertheless it’s magical.

    • Advanced Assault Hippo says:

      Again, that’s quite an assumption though. As if the fault lies with the way we’re approaching it (blinded by mechanics) as opposed to a genuine appraisal of the game as a whole.

      It *is* possible to have an opinion the game isn’t all that and it doesn’t *have* to automatically be because we’re not opening up to the story, too hung up on poor gameplay, etc.

      Whether I’m ‘dead inside’ or ‘blinded by mechanics’, whatever faux-derogatory phrase you use isn’t relevant. It’s the fact so many gamers just can’t comprehend people having a different interpretation of a game’s ‘worth’ and assume we’re misreading it, or not ‘getting it’, or being too closed off to certain things, etc. I’ve never understood it – I’m happy for those that interpreted Bastion differently to me and got more out of the game, but that’s all it is.

      But this hardly a new phenomenon.

  17. Blackberries says:

    Heh. Loud chuckles were had at the Tetris bit. Nice.

  18. Kollega says:

    That was glorious. The only thing about the video that i didn’t like is that they didn’t have more modern games… then again, the entire FPS genre will probably produce the same kind of narration (“The Marine shoots an enemy to death… and another one… and another… and another… and another…”). Overall, it made me want more games to have narrators or announcers.

    And now i thought of how awesome it would be to have the Bastion narrator and UT/Quake announcer working on one game toghether, sports commentary-style.

  19. Berzee says:

    This video, it is funny. I like the Mario one the best. =P but the guitar hero one is a nice addition of the Rucks-trying-to-sing comedy bit.

  20. Kefren says:

    I’ll get it when it comes to GamersGate or GOG.

    • Melliflue says:

      Bastion is on Gamersgate…

    • Kefren says:

      Doh! I went to the Bastion homepage link to and it only mentioned Steam and Box Of X; the FAQ said “Bastion launched on PC on August 16, 2011 on the Steam Store. Visit Bastion’s Steam page for more information. Bastion is coming to other digital retailers later this year.”

    • Melliflue says:

      You’re right, they only say it’s available on Steam. Odd that. I bought it from GamersGate and it doesn’t need Steam at all. But you need the Steam version for the cloud saves, or the achievements and leaderboards, I guess. I’m surprised that they don’t mention the others distributors at all though.

  21. Kleppy says:

    I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I really disliked this game. Honestly, the narrator got on my nerves literally 15 minutes after I started playing. It was a gimmick that failed completely for me. I think it would’ve worked far better, for me, as an adventure game. I didn’t like the combat at all, and it had nothing to do with the controls since I played with an XBOX pad.

    But yeah mostly the narrator pissed the shit out of me and I’m not even sure why. Maybe it’s prefacing everything he said with “kid”, I don’t know.

  22. fuggles says:

    Gamersgate:link to
    It’s also on direct2drive: link to

    I don’t get why people hate the controls, you go four ways, relating to four keys on the keyboard and you can combine these in different ways to unlock a further secret eight directions. Coupled with mouse aiming and lock on targeting and it was simple to get about. Did I miss something?

    I too am puzzled by people who refuse to buy peripherals. I have a joystick and a dual stick gamepad – mice are not so great at analogue and terrible for flight games. Some games are just not mice games

    • merc-ai says:

      Obviously, some people are stuck in era of Doom and have trouble understanding the concept of “aim with mouse”, hence the complaints “waah I attacked in wrong directions a lot”.

  23. merc-ai says:

    I’m amused by the amount of people talking badly about Bastion and blaming it for their own faults or tastes.

    Especially when it comes to controls, since Bastion is very easy to play on mouse+keyboard. There is one area near end game where keyboard controls become hard due to level design. But all other time, talking about “horrible controls” is pure BS. K+M controls are fine, the problem is you ;)

    For those who did not like Narrator’s voice or music, it’s just a matter of preference. Indeed, it might not *click* with everyone. But if it did not work for you, does it make them any worse in general? Nope. Same with visuals.

    And for those who call gameplay dull (despite all the challenges and memorable situations presented in game), it would be interesting to hear an example of similar game without said dullness.

    PS weird that no one mentioned lack of saving and harsh limits on weapon switching.

    • TylerC says:

      +1 merc-ai

      I AM a PC Gamer (not an hibrid xbox- lame pc gamer), I didnt have any trouble with the controls, in fact, I found them pretty easy to use (unlinke Shank, that its kinda hard to play with KB).

      The narrator voice can just be turned off. Is that hard to achieve ? No.
      Plus, if it gets on your nerves, well, its because you need more to play a gore game than an adventure-rpg game (you are too stressed, in other words).

      The gameplay can seem pretty “dull” to some people, but believe me, with 10 gods active at the same time, its pretty hard, even if you are level 10 and have all the upgrades.

      If you people haven’t played Bastion, dont worry about what you read about it, give it a try, but a REAL try.

  24. Highstorm says:

    “None of the others apply to me, but I’m not spending £35 on an accessory to play a game “the way it’s meant to be played.”

    I loathe this mentality. It’s for this reason that it will be a very long time before we see new, innovative control schemes and combos for PC gaming. Like why haven’t touch-screen monitors taken off? Why are they not an ubiquitous part of both using and gaming on a PC? Trying to get new peripherals into this market seems nigh impossible.

    And I’m not talking about flooding the PC gaming scene with gimicky “waggle” bits like the Wii or Kinect. Rather, using tools like that to enhance the current KB&M experience, instead of replace it. Gamepads are a very small (lateral really) step in that direction. For GTA IV, I switch between KB&M for the walky/shooty bits and a gamepad for driving. It makes for a better experience overall.

    “If you’re going to go to the effort to implement KB/M support, you can go to the effort to make it actually work.”

    That said, I do agree with this. Though in the case of Bastion, I found it worked well enough (as stated elsewhere above, I switched between KB&M and Gamepad depending on the weapons used).