Not Cardboard Children: But Something Else

Rab has to look after his nipper today, so no Cardboard Children until next week. In its place, why not watch the latest Shut Up & Sit Down video, which I’ve posted below? Eh?

Quinns says:

Hello youse! I’m Rab, and… no, I can’t do it. I’m not really Rab, and I never will be. Not even if I hunted down and ate James Purefoy. But Rab is away, so it nonetheless falls on my misshapen English shoulders to fill in for Cardboard Children. After the jump you’ll find the latest episode of my hot new boardgame video review show. I hope you enjoy it. It’s an episode all about my favourite board game designer. Yesss. Get your nerd on.


  1. Sirico says:

    I like these guys

    • pipkins says:

      smug irony had me switching off in under a minute

    • Jim Rossignol says:

      Tsk, stupid irony. Gets everywhere.

    • pipkins says:

      yeah it’s like ‘The Blurb’ for board games. Gonna watch T4 now

    • Josh04 says:

      They’re self-referential, but I think it’d be quite something to see a ‘smug’ video game review song. At worst they’re earnest. I like that.

    • Fwiffo says:

      The “Get your nerd on” was ironic.

      I hope.

      All in all, don’t give up the day job Jim. Whatever that is.

    • Fwiffo says:

      Oh, oops. The morning ate one of my lines. I meant:

      >Also, you are the worst Rab I’ve ever seen.<

      All in all, don't give up the day job Jim. Whatever that is.

    • Jim Rossignol says:

      That was Quinns writing and making the video, not me.

    • Lilliput King says:

      All in all, don’t give up your day job Fwiffo.

    • Fwiffo says:

      Ah god, what a mess I’ve made for myself. My first two lines were about the video. The second two were about Jim’s impression of Rab.

      I’m never posting in the morning again.

  2. mentor07825 says:

    Who’re these guys? I’ve never heard of these videos.

    • Icarus says:

      One of them is Quinns formerly of this parish.

    • mentor07825 says:

      Now that is worth watching FROM THE FIRST EPISODE!!! Quinns will always have a special place with me.

  3. Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

    That Quinns looks familiar. Was he on Crimewatch?

  4. JackShandy says:

    This is why board games are great. Video games just have you sit inside. Board games require you to run around a forest dodging bullets in rabbit costumes.

  5. Sleepymatt says:

    No bargain bucket either….

    Has Rab flitted with Lewie?

  6. duel says:

    Where did these guys get Galaxy Trucker’s? I’ve just looked it up it’s sooo expensive (£45+).

    But I really want it…

    • DrGonzo says:

      I don’t know, but it turns out this isn’t the same Galaxy Truckers.

    • Quinns says:

      Go halves with a friend! It’s the future.

    • Premium User Badge

      Hodge says:

      I dunno, isn’t that around the usual price for a decent board game? Being a physical product, they can’t shave their manufacturing/distribution costs down to near-zero in the way that video games can.

      Besides, the game’s worth it.

    • Sic says:

      Yeah, £45 isn’t all that expensive, really.

      Even so, I would have a look at, and specifically a guy named Robert S. Solow. I’ve used him a couple of times. Great guy, and sells games very much on the cheap.

  7. psyk says:

    Other pic was better.

    link to

    • qrter says:

      Aww, the Moonlyte Museum… makes me sad. One of several steps in the ultimate decline and demise of Consolevania.

      Now that’s a show people should catch up on.

    • psyk says:

      “One of several steps in the ultimate decline and demise of Consolevania.” ? please explain, Only found the site recently after years of no consolvania.

    • Bhazor says:

      Don’t forget Videogaiden which was essentially a televised Consolevania and is still available on the BBC website link to
      The making of Videogaiden caused Rab to go a bit “Howard Wilson” and cancel the last season of Consolevania after 2 episodes.

    • psyk says:

      “televised Consolevania”

      Consolevania was on late night channel 4 im sure of it.

      But then I also thought it was way before “Original run 2004 – 2009” ahhhhh my memory sucks.

    • qrter says:

      If I remember correctly, Moonlyte Museum was originally supposed to be the ‘story arc’ or setting of the fifth season of Consolevania, with all kinds of hints being dropped on the site and the forums, but coming after a hectic and uneven season four (the series seemed to be telling some sort of story, but then it never really went anywhere, which was a bit disappointing and pissed off quite a few regulars, and then there was the lost episode – Rab supposedly hid a tape with a Consolevania episode somewhere in Glasgow, but despite trying, none of the forum members were ever able to find it, and the tape was (again supposedly) the only remaining copy), it all imploded and sort of fizzled out.

      I mean, the site says Moonlyte Museum is the Consolevania archive now, but that wasn’t how it was presented originally.

      As far as I know Consolevania has never been transmitted on TV, only shared through the internet (and it has/had its own Wii channel). Like Bhazor says, there was VideoGaiden, for BBC 2 Scotland, but that was a different beast (although with similarities..).

    • Bhazor says:

      Well the explanation in the last episode was that Rab (and presumably Ryan) were completely burnt out from recording a weekly 18 part series with 3 half hour episodes. Looking back they realised they were focusing too much on panning reviews and they weren’t proud of it. So they ended it because they didn’t want to be another “angry review” internet show. Which is a bit wanky reallly, because I think most fans watched for the funnies given they were unashamedly biased in reviews. Personally I much preferred the wank hat reviews where Rab essentially just gushed for 15 minutes about a lovely game.

      One fun little iroy is that they mentioned Hideo Kojima quitting MGS as a sign that they should stop before ruining their show. Within six months three new Metal Gear Solid games were announced. Maybe a sign that a reunion isn’t off the cards ‘ey lads? Not a review show just a comedy funtime nerdy show. Because I do miss Ryan.

  8. danimalkingdom says:

    I enjoy this show and I also just put up a christmas tree so double win.

    Quinns: Please make your editor man turn the music down a little in the mix for future episodes so that I can hear your gilded utterance all the better. Sounds a tad loud

  9. Jesse L says:

    This is incredibly hilarious. I’m off to watch the rest right now.

  10. TooNu says:

    Another winning episode. Board game shows that are funny, informative and that don’t involve Tom Vassel are a good thing.

    • Tann says:

      Yeeh I love these guys too! Although I quite like Mr Vasel, even if I disagree with him on everything. And this show reminded me about how much I want to get galaxy trucker!
      They’re right about petz being better than lords as well.

    • gwathdring says:

      If nothing else, Tom Vassel and his cohorts tirelessly sift through an unfathomable quantity of games. The Dice Tower is an exceptional place simply to hear about games if you live in a region or community where board game news isn’t easy to come by–which, unfortunately, is most places.

      I also think he does a fair job explaining games succinctly and consistently so that, whether or not I agree with his review, I have all the materials I need to understand how I would feel about a game based on his descriptions. I feel much the same about Shut Up and Sit Down and Carboard Children–even if these respective sources mostly pick games they enjoy enough to rave about, they contain just enough meaty description and have consistent enough tones that I can extrapolate my own opinions relative to theirs.

      I prefer SU&SD and Carboard Children becasue they are also simply entertaining to watch/read, irrespective of board game related material … but given how hard board game news can be to come by and sift through, I think simply providing some sort of gathering place and filter for board game information makes the Dice Tower worthwhile. Sort of like a smaller, and thus less overwhelming, BGG.

  11. Radiant says:

    Side bar.
    I have tracked down where Quinns lives.

    Only took me 5 episodes and two google searches.

    dun dun daaaan.

  12. kimadactyl says:

    This was brilliant and makes me wish I had friends. Thanks.

    • Angryinternetman says:

      Me too man, me too.
      Would you like to appeal to board game makers to turn their games into videogames with AI?

  13. Ergates_Antius says:

    But…but… I already watch Shut Up and Sit Down. How can something I’ve already seen possibly replace something new I’ve not seen? Hmmm? You’ve given me nothing, NOTHING!

    Donkey Cock!

  14. Shadowcat says:

    That’s definitely one of my all-time favourite story pictures (which also makes me want the game).

  15. Heisenberg says:

    i like watching these guys even tho i dont play board games.

  16. edit says:

    Great stuff guys, highly amusing and informative!

  17. MajorManiac says:

    Wonderful stuff. I was reminded of shows like Monty Phyphon’s Flying Circus and that old Video review show with the angry Welsh bloke.

    The un-boxing scene had me in tears.