I was nosing at Uncharted 3 on the playbox last night (professional curiosity!), marvelling at its graphics and likeable characters but becoming exasperated at its extreme train-track constraints, and its acrobatic adventures had me yearning for another good Indiana Jones game. A character who doesn’t say too much but when he does it’s gold; a character who doesn’t immediately die if he jumps from the wrong place because he’s got a whip to save him; a character who doesn’t say ‘crap’ every two minutes. When did we last get a proper, decent Indiana Jones game? There were, of course, two Lego Indiana Joneses, but I’ll discount those because, while joyful, they’re pastiche in many ways. Sensibly, there wasn’t a specific one for the Doohickey Of The Crystal Thingum, as no-one wants to play a game about four old people shuffling around a CGI temple while Shia LeBeouf trails along doing his best plank of meat impression.
Could FarmVille overlords Zynga resurrect Indy’s gaming legend? They’ve just rebranded – apparently permanently – their Facebook game Adventure World as Indiana Jones Adventure World. Does this mean that if adventure has a name, it’s micropayments? Let’s take a look.
Hmm. Well, it looks like Bastion and it’s got boulders and snakes in it, so there’s that. I suppose Indy having a perky army of Indy Jrs is the natural evolution after George Lucas’ abortive attempt to replace Harrison Ford with Shia The Beef, but all those identi-hatted young explorers do look a little culty to me.