Trackmania 2, Now With More Toilets

What a load of crap

I can’t say I stuck with Trackmania 2: Canyon because I, uh, didn’t stick with Trackmania 2: Canyon. It was fine! But it was also basically doing the same thing as I’ve been doing in a half-decade of preceding Trackmania games, except with prettier graphics, no choice of cars and a mad menu system. Others have stuck with it, however, and have been making the very best of its most impressive feature: the track-builder tool. While the below video is, realistically, pure promotion for the game, it also makes me go ‘ooh’ and ‘wow’ and ‘cor!’ and ‘wouldjalookitthat’ and ‘BLIMEY’. Especially for the guy who managed to replace cars with toilets.

Basically: the community is slowly making the game into the game it should have been, and then into the game it could never otherwise have been. I salute you, virtual architects and paint scheme-designers.

Are the players doing the developers’ jobs for them? Maybe. I reckon it’s worth it, though – in the same way the Arma games are far better for the community’s passionate efforts. I genuinely want to go check out the game again now, and I suspect no official car’n’track pack could ever have achieved that quite so effectively.


  1. Teronfel says:

    But can I ride dragons?

  2. Jahkaivah says:

    But how do you use the toilet?

    • OJ287 says:

      Push ‘P’.

      Sorry, everybody.

    • ShineyBlueShoes says:

      Everybody poops err drives…

    • Bfox says:

      Huh, numpad 2 works too…

    • Mut says:

      The real question is, how do you use the three seashells?

    • imirk says:

      Demolition Man reference, I never thought I’d see the day…

    • Net_Bastard says:

      Well, first you pull down your pants/trousers and underwear. Then, you sit on the toilet in a way that stretches your cheeks far apart so less feces residue gets on them. Then you grunt so that the feces pushes out via the use of the muscles in your body. Do this until the feces comes out of your anus and gets deposited inside the toilet. Then you wipe with toilet paper. Congratulations! You just used the toilet!

  3. The_B says:

    Not sure I’d say the players are ‘doing the developers jobs for them’ per se, I mean really TM has always been more about Nadeo building the tools and back-end structure that the community can then go and build with, while the game bits aren’t so much an afterthought, but are more… well a good starting point and inspiration for the players to improve upon, and an option for those less creatively able – at least in my opinion.

  4. MrDanke says:

    The players aren’t doing the developers’ jobs for them. This isn’t a Bethesda game.

  5. Sauceror says:

    Do you remember the outhouse in Need for Speed?

  6. Nosgoroth says:

    Ah, this must be the fabled “toilet humor”.

    • DigitalSignalX says:

      You can play as a toilet in Saints Row 3 too, it’s only funny when your voice actor comments on it. Once. Then it’s pretty old, pretty quick.

  7. Xaromir says:

    [Insert joke about fecal matter here] I have to say i don’t see it as a problem that there is only one car, it’s the mad and funny tracks and the community that makes TM so good. It fills it’s own niche. *defends* I also wouldn’t say that the com is doing the developers job, making stuff for the game in the form of tracks and visually altered cars etc etc always was part of it, and it wouldn’t be fun without that. Awesome video though, thanks for posting kind sir. :)

  8. Dowr says:

    Let the toilet jokes commence!

  9. Ysellian says:

    That shopping trolley is seriously kick ass!

  10. rocketman71 says:

    I cry everytime I see Ubi and Trackmania in the same sentence :(

    • TODD says:

      Ubisoft makes crappy decisions about DRM and has some of the worst PR in the business, but they publish a lot of good games. Off the top of my head, I remember Assassin’s Creed, Driver San Francisco, Trackmania 2, and Far Cry 2. It’s not a risk-averse publisher, either; from Dust, DSF, and AC1 were far from “sure things” when they were released. My point is that I don’t mind if the brand is slapped on a game I enjoy.

      I wish Ubisoft would put more effort into PC ports, but the company seems to have gotten it into its collective head that combating piracy on this platform is not a hill it wants to die on.

  11. Zeewolf says:

    I don’t see why Nadeo should have included a toilet in their game.

  12. Moni says:

    That’s weird, you can play as a toilet in Saint’s Row 3 as well. link to

    I hope this becomes a standard feature in all games next year.

  13. Linfosoma says:

    Man, I completely forgot I own this game, I think I even have it installed and all!

    I wonder how it handles with a wheel…Anyone tried that yet? I expect it to be sucide, but who knows? I might actually work well.

  14. caddyB says:

    Toilets? I’m buying it now then. Was always into toilet racing when I was little.

  15. sbs says:

    source engine renders way better toilets.

  16. D3xter says:

    Anyone remember Toilet Tycoon?
    One of the best Toilet-related games I’ve ever played.

  17. BennyGee says:

    Some of the old Micro Machines games had you doing laps of the rim.

  18. Stevostin says:

    Nice tracks.. and nice soundtrack. I really like Nadeo’s take on gaming.

  19. kyrieee says:

    I think that highlighting mods and community creations is great, I don’t see the need to put a negative spin on it.

  20. piecoughed says:


    Do some ACTUAL work and mod in a slow motion dubstep sync mechanic so I can wub to my wubs.

  21. Jackablade says:

    “But it was also basically doing the same thing as I’ve been doing in a half-decade of preceding Trackmania games…”

    No it wasn’t and that was the problem. They traded the super fine precision of the previous games for powersliding and the associated sluggishness. While it’s not a terrible game, but it’s a far less compelling experience than the previous titles.

    • dsi1 says:

      If by “previous games” you mean “Trackmania Stadium”, then yeah. The new car is amazing, the only issue is the lack of track pieces. (a few very important ones are missing)

    • Jackablade says:

      Nations and its freebie version are the pinnacle of the series for my money. The physics were just perfect. Not by any means realistic, but just the right level of agility and responsiveness, weight and tendency to flip over and tumble. It was pure, uncomplicated design and fun in a way that no other racer I’ve ever played.

      One can’t really blame Nadesco for moving the series along after… what is it 4? 5? games running on the same engine with the same physics, but for mine, Canyon just isn’t near as enjoyable because the cars just don’t feel as nice.

  22. Jackablade says:

    Reply fail.

  23. elmuerte says:

    But it’s still Ubisoft, the company that hates PC gamers.

    • UnravThreads says:

      Yes, Ubisoft hate PC gamers, and that’s why I have a copy of the PC-exclusive Anno 2070 next to me…

    • malkav11 says:

      Complete with hateful crippleware DRM.

  24. rustybroomhandle says:

    I demand wiimote support with toilet-seat steering wheel addon.

  25. Dhatz says:

    how dare you copy Saints Row the Third? also fuck off if you think ubi hates pc players, real parasprites are losers that dont even release on PC.