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Rockstar Threatens Max Payne 3 "Barrage"

The real caption for this one was 'Max waits for the perfect moment to take down a member of the Cracha Preto'. Amaze.

Can digital information really constitute a barrage? I don’t know, but I’m scared. Barrages sound nasty to me, but Rockstar have pledged to send a barrage of Max Payne 3 info at us over “the coming weeks and months.” I’ve looked at the first missive from their asset-cannon, and it’s only some screenshots rather than gunshot or a disease-riddled corpse, so I think we’re safe for now. They’ve also included some captions on these screenshots, which I shall quote verbatim* below.

Max seeks vengeance on the man who sold him a pair of exploding trousers.

Tired of slowly having to collect better guns throughout the game for a third time, Max shortcuts by bolting the sun itself to the end of his pistol.

“No, not this time,” thought Max. “I’ve killed 318,924 men in my life. I just don’t think I can shoot another one, even if he is lurking creepily in the shadows in exactly the way a natural born killer would. I’ll just hide here instead, and complete my emasculation by shooting my own cock off with this assault rifle.”

*May not be entirely verbatim.

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Alec Meer

Senior Editor

Co-founder of RPS. Dungeon Keeper & X-COM 4 Life.

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