It’s: The Quite Important RPS Survey 2012!

Surveyors! Do you see?
UPDATE: That’s enough responses, thanks! Survey finished.

Hello there. Once a year (although not last year, for some reason) we must ask you to help us with knowing stuff about who reads RPS. Hence, the quite important survey. This vital data is fed into the vast computer which controls the internet and the monster is thus soothed, stopping it from rising up in a frenzy of electronic tentacles and destroying the Earth for another year. Also, it helps with our hard-working gentleman being able to secure advertising and therefore keep operating the site! For both these incredible reasons it is quite important that you fill out the survey here, please. It’s so important that I am asking you do it immediately, no matter how important whatever else you might be doing on the internet actually is. Doing so will also secure our love. And that’s what’s really important about PC gaming, isn’t it?

I thought so.


  1. Lukasz says:

    COMPLETED! I don’t know any puns tough.

    • Meat Circus says:

      That’s punacceptable, quite frankly.

    • thegammaray says:

      You’re no pun.

    • tikey says:

      I don’t think that’s quite inpuntant.

      (now I should have to change my survey)

    • Abundant_Suede says:

      I suppose this was to be expected on Rock Paper Shotpun.

    • Kaira- says:

      Shame apun you all.

    • President Weasel says:

      I can’t believe you don;t know any puns, they’re apundant.

    • Simon Hawthorne says:

      What an odd group of Pun-ters RPS has.

    • Man Raised by Puffins says:

      Ugh, who left these stale puns lying around; it’s become terribly pungent in here. I’ve a good mind to punish those responsible and give them a damn good thrashing.

    • Stellar Duck says:

      Really, it’s apundantly clear that you lot are just in it for the laughs.

    • Premium User Badge

      bsplines says:

      They ‘re just pundering to the audience.
      (Great, now I need to change my survey too)

    • SiHy_ says:

      @Man Raised by Puffins NO, don’t punch me. You’ll make me punhappy!

    • sonofsanta says:

      Can’t think of any? What a pun-y imagination you have. Oh well, be it upun your own head. Don’t expect sympathy when the hivemind pun-ishes you though; none of us will care one wit.

    • thegammaray says:

      @Man Raised by Puffins
      I admit that until this morning I thought that “puffin” was a category of penguin.

      Learn somepun new every day…..

    • Premium User Badge

      Bluerps says:

      So, in a way, you brought a knife to a punfight?

      (I cannot think of a pun for ‘knife’… this makes me very punhappy)

      EDIT: An now I even copied a pun, punintentionally. I am so punlucky…

    • Blackcompany says:

      Ah! Bad jokes with imPUNity. That’s really punthing.

    • Premium User Badge

      daktaklakpak says:

      Right off the first comment. At least you are all being punctual today.

    • The Colonel says:

      Try some of this pun-galactic gargleblaster. It’s like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold quip.

    • The Colonel says:

      “It really pisses me off that on nearly every comments thread the first page is taken up by infantile puns, people thinking their funny etc etc.” Go away.

    • Milky1985 says:

      I said yes in the survery but its been a while since i joined in with a pun thread, forgot how punny they could be.

    • Lambchops says:

      You guys really are gluttons for punishment.

      Apologies for trotting out such a weary old pun. Clearly my glory days are behind me. I’ll get my coat.

    • db1331 says:

      Most of my puns are completely punintentional.

    • TheWhippetLord says:

      You should start with the pundamentals to be honest.

    • bear912 says:

      I don’t know. Despite what the more poe-faced of the community might believe, I’m quite a pundit for these threads. Those punks should lighten up.

    • Tams80 says:

      None of those were very punny.

    • lasikbear says:

      Some people just don’t punderstand…

    • Reynoldio says:

      I’m largely punimpressed with the above attempts.
      (and myself)

    • Lambchops says:

      I’m feeling a strage compunction to reply.

    • Sami H says:


    • Avish says:

      No pun intended…

    • ZamFear says:

      One pun and all hell breaks loose. Utter pundemonium.

    • LowKey says:

      You disapoint me my puns

    • Cooper says:

      I know I’m a bit late to be trying to add to this, but I still couldn’t resist having a punt.

    • LuNatic says:

      If you wish apun a star, you will find that these comments happun as a matter of course.

    • westyfield says:

      I, on the other hand, know many puns, for I am THE PUNGEON MASTER!

    • McDan says:

      Some may call me harsh, buy you’ve taken it too far now you bunch of punts.

      If that is too distasteful for some I have a second pun-in-waiting that you may have.

      I have a feeling that this pun that has only just bepun…

    • nimzy says:

      Since I’m a linguist I’m required to appreciate any and all puns.

    • jezcentral says:

      A plague upun all your houses!

    • InternetBatman says:

      I knew a bunch of neckbeards and pungeonmasters would respond to that.

    • Surgeon says:

      RPS punters really are a punruly lot.
      This poor guy says he doesn’t know any puns and you jump on him like a pack of puncivilized savages.
      What’s wrong with you lot, you’ve surely left him punch drunk and punfused with your barrage of punnery.
      You can’t just pun him to death with impunity.
      You all need to puntificate on what you’ve pun.

    • Ringwraith says:

      It’s not very punctual, and now this is being punitive despite the fact I’ve made my survey outdated.

    • Skabooga says:

      These jokes keep flying back and forth like some kind of pundulum.

    • Suits says:

      Were you looking for anything punticular?

    • jrodman says:

      Penguins go like this: o< o< o o> o>

      They may seem punsettling similar, but upun consideration, it’s the other way around.

    • Coccyx says:

      Not to be punkind, but the OP must have known this was coming. Also, a pun thread about puns? Meta.

    • Lamb Chop says:

      I took a random sampling of the puns in this thread to see how many would make me laugh. No pun in ten did.

    • T. J. McCormak - Parent says:

      I don’t understand these pun threads they are just boring. Clearly they are just a liberal conspiracy to wipe out good old fashioned crudity and hilarious demeaning insults. Next you’ll be making some rubbish joke about polar bears dissolving, which is ridculous when you seem so desperate to save them the rest of the time. What if little Timmy read one of these puns, it might turn him against the tremendous work of Jim Davidson, one of the UK’s finest comedy exports. Stop this disastorous trend now before it does some serious damage.

      T.J. McCormack (parent)

    • TheDreamlord says:

      Pun off….. all of ye!

    • Highstorm says:

      Ahh the joys of an opun forum.

    • Nihilexistentialist says:


    • beekay says:

      Ugh, the wordplay here is so strained. It’s positively punful.

    • gekitsu says:

      this thread is a punoramic view of everything that is right with rock paper shotpun.

    • The Tupper says:

      It’s punlikely this’ll be the last thread of 2012 to be pundered by this sort of malarkey.

    • Jubaal says:

      Come on, it’s only a bit of pun!

    • GameOverMan says:

      You’ve been punwned.

    • Hall says:

      I don’t know why I keep reading these threads. Maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment.

      Damnit, now my survey was a lie.

    • VelvetFistIronGlove says:

      Ah‘ve got nowt good jokes, but ah know many bad puns.

    • Lacero says:

      I see the haters trying to start another punic war.

    • AlwaysRight says:


    • westyfield says:

      Excellent, this thread has expunged all other comments from the first page with impunity.

    • DHP says:

      RPS: Opening Pundoras box since 1873.

  2. Meat Circus says:

    I give RPS the worst score imaginable: an A-minus-minus!

  3. TrouserDemon says:

    How many hours do I spend gaming? Per what? Day?

  4. coddan says:

    “6. How many hours do you spend gaming?” Per day, week, month?

  5. McDan says:

    Always a pleasure to help in any way, and I’m proud to say I contribute to pun threads. Go RPS!

  6. CMaster says:

    “How many hours do you spend gaming?”

    Well, I had to answer the maximum of 16+ seeing as I assumed this meant “per lifetime” effectively.

  7. Skeletor68 says:

    Was about to ask the same question about amount of time gaming. Will hold off until later to provide a factual response.

  8. Alistair says:

    ‘Do you recommend games to friends’ should probably specify real-life or internet ‘friends’.

    And the purchase time question (pre-order/on-sale etc) could perhaps allow multiple selections?

  9. sinister agent says:

    Fill out? Fill out?


    • Meat Circus says:

      One fills in the blanks, when filling out forms.

      If one doesn’t do this, one is a filthy swine.

    • TheApologist says:

      Didn’t you hear? It’s now Wot I Thunk

    • Blackcompany says:

      Thunk? That’s not a word, that’s a sound effect from a comic book. (I know there’s a word for this. +1 internets to you if you can spell it, or be arsed to look it up.)
      I thought it was “Wot I thinked.”

    • Jim Dandy says:

      @blackcompany – That’d be onomatopoeia. *smugface*

  10. Dumdeedum says:

    [snipped due to redundancy]

  11. ShadowBlade says:

    I have obliged, Overlords.

  12. Skeletor68 says:

    Survey complete.

  13. TheApologist says:

    I thought we’d already secured your love. Now I feel all insecure.

  14. DeathHamsterDude says:

    Done and done.

    Now gimme a biscuit. Shortbread if you have it.

  15. Wichtel says:

    I feel loved now

  16. Screwie says:


    PS: “20. How much do you spend a year on upgrading your PC?” has no option for less than £100.

    • YourMessageHere says:

      May I request an “as little as possible, but as much as literally necessary” option for this one? Partly because when I do spend money, it’s generally more than a year before I spend any more, and partly because I genuinely have no idea how much I’ve spent on PC bits in any given timeframe. I just know it was as little as I could get away with and it still stung like hell, but I was happy I’d done it in the end.

  17. SophieH says:

    No option for people who don’t spend money upgrading their PC?

    I thought PCs were like consoles only you could play flash games on them. I just buy a new one when the new games don’t work on it anymore. :P

    seriously though, there should be a 0-100 option there, I haven’t had a desktop in a while and upgrading laptops scares me since I’m not familiar with the innards. :3

    • simoroth says:

      I was confused a bit by that one. Since I upgrade with a new computer every few years, don’t particularly upgrade my rigs. I just averaged it.

    • iainl says:

      Indeed – I spend around £400 every five years or so.

    • DickSocrates says:

      I spent £70 on upgrading in 2011 and nothing the year before, and nothing the year before that, and nothing the year before that. Yet I am now officially logged as having spent at least £100. :-/

      Only enthusiasts spend money every year on upgrades, and by enthusiast I don’t mean people who play games on their PCs a lot, I mean the tier of scary people above that who are always in a state of having just upgraded or looking at the next upgrade. And who don’t consider water cooling silly.

    • The Colonel says:

      I haven’t upgraded since they stopped upgrading the Xbox 360. Except to get some fancy non-gaming related audio equipment in the PC.

    • Reapy says:

      Same here, I basically wait until the games I am playing all have to have the resolution and graphics turned down to start playing. THEN a big new release comes out with uber graphics, will push me to that 1500 dollar new PC.

      By then everything has usually changed enough that there is no point to upgrading incrementally, about the only thing that gets saved sometimes are hard drives and dvd player.

    • Hmm-Hmm. says:

      Me too. Of course, I have an iMac which aren’t easily upgradeable. I am thinking of purchasing a new computer, though. A beastie with a bit more ‘oomph’. No hurry, though.

    • Jad says:

      Agreed. I feel like the question having a floor of £100 annually feeds into the myth that you need to be constantly upgrading your computer to stay on top of things.

      Last year I believe the only “upgrade” i performed on my PC was spending $40 on an XBox 360 controller (really good purchase, frankly), the prior year I spent around $100 on a new hard drive, which was as much for non-gaming reasons as gaming, the year before that I think I bought a nice widescreen monitor to watch movies on, and then it was the year before that when I spent $500-$600 upgrading my PC with a good videocard, processor, RAM, etc. That same PC plays all modern games at 1080p at mediumish settings with a decent framerate.

      I thought last year would be the year when I would feel the need to finally upgrade, but everything still looks and runs fine for me. Yearly upgrade requirements are definitely a thing of the past, if they ever were true.

  18. Drake Sigar says:

    When it came to favourite genre, I ticked all of them, just because I could.

    Also, no Turn-based strategy? Bah!

    • Zoomon says:

      Where was the option for Real Time Tactics versus Real Time Strategy. Or maybe even Grand Strategy so as not to be so Pedantic.

      I also wasn’t aware that Indie Games were a genre.

    • scoopsy says:

      Yeah, no love for other forms of strategy, just RTS eh? What about an option for those of us who like strategy games without repetitive-stress injuries?

    • Jorum says:

      No wonder no-one thinks there’s a market for TBS if no-one ever asks.

    • Smashbox says:

      That thing this guy said!

    • ObiDamnKenobi says:

      Yes! RPS hates strategy! RTS is the only one you can be bothered to include? pah! I’d like to add that I enjoy:
      Turn based strategy
      Turn based tactics
      Turn based squad based tactics
      Grand strategy
      Empire management
      Turn based space strategy
      Space based tactics
      Tactical space based 4x squad empire management


    • bglamb says:

      This question was very frustrating. My favourite genre is Strategy, but I really hate RTS games.

      I had to put RPG.

    • diamondmx says:

      Think yourselves lucky it wasn’t

      * FPS (remake from RTS)
      * FPS (remake from RPG)
      * FPS (remake from driving)
      * FPS (remake from puzzle)
      * FPS (remake from adventure)
      * WoW (Freemium)
      * iPhone games

    • RaveTurned says:

      No option for thinly disguised spreadsheets either. Disappoint.

  19. Premium User Badge

    Bluerps says:

    Wouldn’t Horace defend us against the monster? I always thought he liked eating humanity…

    Anyway, did the survey. Hope that helps.

  20. Zoomon says:

    I have contributed and therefore have allowed the marketing side of RPS to better sell their ad space to potential advertisers!

  21. Quinnbeast says:

    “It’s so important that I am asking you do it immediately, no matter how important whatever else you might be doing on the internet actually is.”

    It’s a shame that – at the time – I was driving Funnel’ through a Beta island with a full load of high end Corp minerals, and went right into a bunch of NPCs. You can’t blame me for that one, Jim.

    • The Colonel says:

      I was writing an essay on Agamben’s critique of human rights. Unfortunately it’s supposed to be 5000 words, due in on Monday and I’ve not done half the reading yet. Distract me some more RPS!

  22. thegooseking says:

    I have a problem with the wording of “15. When buying a game, has DRM (Digital Rights Management) ever influenced your buying decision?”

    No, but it has when not buying a game.

    As it is, it makes it sound like it’s prepared for the possibility that there are people out there who will only buy a game if it has DRM. Which would be weird.

    • sneetch says:

      I think the wording is fine, if the presence of DRM has prevented you buying a game then it has influenced your buying decision: the decision in that case being a “no”.

    • thegooseking says:

      But “if the presence of DRM has prevented you buying a game” then it is, by definition, not “when buying a game” as the question begins.

    • Chris D says:

      Wait, if we’re only including times when you actually bought the game then surely nothing can influence your buying decision because you’re always destined to buy it.

    • RaveTurned says:

      So to avoid pedantry it should start something like: “15. When considering buying a game…”. But you know what they mean you scallywags. :P

  23. Buemba says:

    Why was each question repeated twice?

    Why was each question repeated twice?

  24. The Infamous Woodchuck says:

    theres no impulse anymore jim, only gamestop

    • Jim Rossignol says:

      Bah, stupid changes in stuff.

    • The Infamous Woodchuck says:

      i thoroughly agree with you on that, i mean gamestop? cmon, impulse is clearly a better name. sure GS bought it but atleast they keep the name and the logo.

    • Premium User Badge

      Hodge says:

      Also, Desura was missing from that list.

    • Ignorant Texan says:

      So was Amazon.

    • Skabooga says:

      theres no impulse anymore jim, only gamestop

      The game is not over yet, Scottie. All power to the thrusters!

  25. afflictiv says:

    I answered to the best of my ability, although these strange foreign symbols next to the income/spending questions baffle me greatly.

    • Screamer says:

      I too where baffled, but overcame it by a mathematical equations, estimations and random clicking!

  26. mrwout says:

    I have now procured your love, yey.

  27. Chibithor says:

    I’ve no clue what’s my household income, might you consider adding an option for that sometime?

    Also, GreenManGaming might be a good addition to the digital distribution question.

    • Telzis says:

      I checked “Other” on that question because a good deal of my “purchased” games this year came from the Humble Bundles, so that would have been a good option too, I think. (or bundles in general)

    • bear912 says:

      Yes, Green Man would be good to add. I didn’t notice that Green Man was missing from that list. Also Desura, as I mentioned further down.

    • milkmansrevenge says:

      Another vote for adding Green Man Gaming to the list of digital content thingies. Pretty sure I bought Magicka from there!

  28. TormDK says:

    And thus we appease the monster!

    Now, where’s that complementary gnome for punting?

  29. fr0y0 says:

    Yea, cool, catch me right as I got laid off my job last month. Now I had to check “unemployed.” You… damned… British… people… things.

  30. tenseiga says:

    Done! now lets see some of that loving *dims lights*

  31. Squire says:

    “Now you can create your own surveys for FREE”

    My life now has meaning.

  32. Freud says:

    I completed the survey and I think I won something:

    “Now you can create your own surveys for FREE.”

    In your face, my non-survey friends.

  33. thegooseking says:

    Reply fail.

    • Lambchops says:

      Given the number of daily reply fails it’s unlikely that they’ll get anything of statistical value out of this survey!

    • diamondmx says:

      Another question:
      Should we fix our somewhat crap reply system?
      Yes [ ]
      Hell Yes [ ]

    • thegooseking says:

      I think the option to quote other posts, which automatically sticks that post in blockquote tags and sets the comment to reply to that thread would be good.

      I’m sure the majority of my reply fails have been copying and pasting someone else’s post for quoting purposes, and forgetting that that’s not actually enough to make it register as a reply.

  34. FreezerBag says:

    For the question “Which Digital Distribution services do you use to buy games?” perhaps you should have included Amazon? Just a thought for next year.

    • Llewyn says:

      There’s a whole world outside the US*, and Amazon don’t supply digital downloads to it.

      *Well, technically only about 97% of one, but…

  35. Stellar Duck says:

    Done and done.

    I wonder, will you post some sort of summary of the results? Or perhaps some reflections on your readership?

  36. engion3 says:

    I did it but I didn’t like it.

  37. Kefren says:

    Q1: Gender. Gender?
    Sex, dear sirs. I have sex.
    link to

    • The Colonel says:

      Stop rubbing our noses in it!

    • Blackcompany says:

      You can do that and still have time for things like Skyrim?
      Truly sir, you are the Man.

    • diamondmx says:

      @blackcompany Multitasking + mounted in-bed HDTV.

    • Kefren says:

      You filthy-minded cads! Far too busy with games for cracky-smacky-poom-poom.

    • Blackcompany says:

      Fus Ro Dah, baby. Fus Ro Dah.

    • RaveTurned says:

      Perhaps they’re more interested in social identity than physiology? The options would need tweaking of course, and should include the option of a text field (whatever happened to Disapora anyway?).

    • Kefren says:

      @RaveTurned: possibly, but as you say, the current answer options don’t support that. It would be much more complicated to measure that for RPS readers. “I’m 80% masculine and 20% feminine, except on Fridays.”

    • molten_tofu says:

      Haha I was totally going to post this complaint, but I think I used up my gender / sex outrage quota on the great Bioshock Infinite boob fiasco of 2011.

    • Kefren says:

      @molten_tofu: I am happy to pick up the stick for you, sir, most happy, until your quota is refreshed. I also think that tofu and tempeh are wonderful inventions and will have some later on this evening with my pipe.

    • Lamb Chop says:

      But sex is too titillating! …Am I allowed to use that word?

    • Kefren says:

      @Lamb Chop: We will have people standing by with smelling salts.

  38. aircool says:

    Where the emplyment option for retired? :smugness:

    • ZamFear says:

      That would be “Unemployed.” ;)

    • HothMonster says:

      That really doesn’t cover it, he needs an option for “unemployed and old.”


  39. Blackcompany says:

    I never did ask: Is is the Paper, or the Rock, that beats Shotgun? Just wanted to clarify.

    • Chris D says:

      Shotgun beats everything, surely.

    • Blackcompany says:

      Sort of…blows away…game balance, then, doesn’t it? Or can you only unlock Shotgun at higher levels, maybe? Hopefully its not a pay-for addon.

    • sneetch says:

      Rock beats Shotgun but only if you’re in Stealth and your opponent is unaware.

    • engion3 says:

      So it’s assumed you get ammo for the shotgun?

    • Meat Circus says:

      Shotgun beats everything, but has a 30-minute cooldown.

    • The Colonel says:

      You could potentially leave your rock in the barrel of the shotgun the night before. In any case, shotguns don’t do much damage to rocks unless they’re limestone or something.

    • Blackcompany says:

      So if Keiron is sneaking up on Adam and John, Keiron should pick Rock? I think I get it now.

    • Milky1985 says:

      Couldn’t you break the shotgun by jamming the rocks in the barrel?

    • roryok says:

      Paper Covers Rock, so Shotgun Must blast through paper, which only leaves Rock to dent barrel in Shotgun.


    • molten_tofu says:

      You only get the shotgun if you pre-order.

  40. zeroskill says:

    √ No Problem

  41. Lambchops says:

    While I was filling in your oh so important survey I neglected to press the button preventing the big nuclear reactor over there for going into meltdown. I can only conclude that the RPS hivemind are Bond style villains and that somewhere Alec is stroking a Persian cat whilst laughing manically.

    • Blackcompany says:

      Comment of the day. Can we vote on that? Does it even exist? If so, and we can, this has my vote for that.

  42. bear912 says:

    You might wish to add Desura to the list of digital distributors at some point. I haven’t purchased anything from them yet, but I could see it happening in the next year…

  43. magnus says:

    All done, now where’s my RPS biro then?

  44. warthog2k says:

    23. If you watch films at home, do you watch?
    Doesn’t include a “Broadcast VOD” option (like Virgin Media’s Filmflex / Movies On Demand)
    Presume “Download” technically includes Sky Push VOD / iPlayer / OTT Streaming?

    • Lamb Chop says:

      I counted ‘download’ for netflix, hulu, and every other streaming service that replaces a tv for those of us who only want to pay for one really big monitor.

  45. Ross Angus says:

    Is the monster who controls the internet Horace?

  46. ADinVA says:

    Sure we’re in the minority but is there no love for a Mac user running Windows in Bootcamp other than “Other” for what kind of PC do you own?

    • Hmm-Hmm. says:

      Apparently so. But why you’d want to distinguish ‘mac users who use bootcamp’ and ‘mac users who don’t use bootcamp’ is beyond me.

  47. ichbinspikeface says:

    i done it!

  48. Kong says:

    The survey assumes that everyone buys digital already. I will, as soon as I can purchase steam coupons in real stores. itunes does it, a shame that itunes is total crap and I will never buy apple products.
    I refuse to put my account/credit card info in too many places of cyberspace. Maybe my bank offers paypal service…gotta check it out.

    RPS all the best for 2012. Coffee, cigarette and RPS in the morning, that is how I like to start my day. Cheers folks and thank you for your fantastic work. Rock on.

  49. ain says:

    You forgot fighting games in the genre list.
    Stop killing esports!

  50. HothMonster says:

    I had to guess at the money stuff. I never weigh my money and have no idea how money pounds it is. I guess I should buy a little scale. How many grams of money should I spend on my scale do you think?