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Best In Shoujo: Katawa Crash

It's not weird, you're just a philistine.

Last week there were a couple of games that brought up the question of what actually counts as a game. One of them shouldn’t have, because it turned out to be a passing ice-cream truck. The other was Katawa Shoujo, which occasionally teetered on the edge of that which people were willing to tolerate – that a reviewer could be bored by a slightly creepy visual novel about dating definitely-not-underage-at-all disabled girls without being some kind of illiterate, word-hating dunce. Which obviously John is, but that’s not the point. Luckily, you can now enjoy that experience in a brand new form – one in which you occasionally get to press some buttons.

It’s called Katawa Crash, which you may find not-so-oddly reminiscent of a game called Nanaca Crash from a few years ago, but with the craziness ramped up beyond the impossible. Here are our impressions of it after a couple of plays:

“DADADADADADADA! SPROING! BOING BOING! WHEEEEEE! BONK! BOING BOING! WHEEE! YEEEEEEEA! BOING BOING BOING! SMACK! KAPOOOOW! FOOM.”

We also do a splendid Peter Molyneux.

The main character’s name is Hisao. He has a heart defect. Playing this game involves launching him at high speed out of a hospital and making him smash into obstacles and get beaten up by girls. Getting a high score will certainly kill him, and you will be a monster. Enjoy!

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Richard Cobbett

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