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Coffee For Those Games You Like So Much

See, like the games you like.

Hello person who is a gamer! As a gamer, you’re different from ordinary people, and have specific needs and desires. As a gamer myself, I know this too, so I understand the nuances of what makes a gamer such a very special person. And so it is that I’ve developed a new special blend of water especially designed for gamers like you. Freshly bottled from the taps in my kitchen, Gamzerz Wa73R is guaranteed* to have been sat in front of a game of Quake II for at least an hour before being sent out to you. Only £39.99 a bottle!

Also, there’s now coffee for gamers, from Cornish gaming cafe, Loading.

Yes, I’m a vile cynic. And I’m also somewhat put off by their front page suggestion that LA Noire is an example of high-brow gaming. But Loading do seem to have genuinely worked out a blend of coffee that’s popular with their customers, and are now selling it nationally via Firebox. And better, there’s 9p from each sale going to gaming charity Special Effect.

The “9-Bit Mega Coffee” as I’m cripplingly embarrassed to report they’ve called it, is a blend of nine different beans, and comes in a box with lots of Sega-lawyers-tempting retro logos. But at £15 for 250g, it had better be bloody brilliant coffee. It’s not quite Blue Mountain prices, but you’d be hard pressed (coffee joke!) to find more expensive beans in your local Whittards. (Also, wait, £15 for a half-pack of coffee, and nine pee goes to charity? Um, that could be somewhat improved.)

Well, I should taste it before casting aspersions, but I do find it a little knuckle-gnawing when something is specifically marketed at gamers despite near irrelevance. However, the cafe itself looks brilliant, and I’m now firing angry scowls all over Bath for not having anything similar.

*not guaranteed

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Who am I?

John Walker


Once one of the original co-founders of Rock Paper Shotgun, they killed me out of jealousy. I now run

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