Break Into Prison Architect Later This Year

Introversion’s Prison Architect is the mysterious tumour that ate away at Subversion. Wait, that’s a horrible thing to say! Let me get my Men In Black Mind Eraser thing and we’ll pretend I never said – *flash* [Editor’s Note – at this point Craig accidentally flashed his own memories. He doesn’t know who he is, so we’ve told him he’s Oor Wullie]. Crivens! Thuy sais it’s oot fur a’body aroond September, if yer up for contributin’ tae tha alphu.

Jings, it’s gonna be pure dead brilliunt. Ah game where ye look efter an’ run a gaol. An’ thull evun gie it tae yeh if yer nice an’ pay up tae help fund it. Like yon Minecraft, a’body cun get it ahead ah time, payin’ fur the game tae be devel’pd like. Every so often ye’ll get updates, once uh month or somethin’. Ahm puttin’ it on mah bucket list.

Wanna see thu’ furst trailer again? Aye, I reckon.

Chris an’ Marky boy uh Intravershun telt that PC Gamer place aw aboot it.


  1. wodin says:

    I didn’t understand a word of it..what accent was it????

    it also looked like someone was taking in buckets of speed…

    • AmateurScience says:

      Dundonian! It’s pure braw is it no?

    • cornflakes says:

      That’s what about a quarter of all UK accents sound like to me when there’s actually audio. Indecipherable. Thank goodness for this texty medium where I can enjoy RPS like anyone else.

      Well, except this post. What the hell was that?

    • dontnormally says:

      If I typed in the way people from where I come speak it would look like this.

    • Aklyon says:

      Sounds like we’ve got one o the Wee Free Men as as writer here.

  2. AmateurScience says:

    Jings crivens help ma boab! Whars yer bucket Wullie?

  3. RogB says:

    i used to get an Oor Wullie or The Broons book every christmas. Jings, crivvens, and help ma’boab.

  4. Lambchops says:

    I never thought I’d see an Oor Wullie reference on an RPS post!

    I’m pretty sure a fair few of my fellow Scots will no doubt remember getting Oor Wullie/The Broons annuals when they were wee nippers (The Broons were shite but Oor Wullie i remember more fondly).

  5. kastanok says:

    Oh, those poor poor Americans (and less amusingly, non-English speakers). They won’t have a bally clue.

    Interesting to hear of the business model IV are going with this time around. To be honest, whatever they charged I was going to buy it. Still am, for that matter.

    It’s of course hard to judge from a trailer but at first glance it doesn’t appear to be lacking any depth, mechanically. The night lighting system is pretty, with those dim light-spots outside.

    • Joshua Northey says:

      Actually it was pretty straightforward to me and I am from Minnesota, though I have been to the UK twice and am pretty well read.

    • Felixader says:

      I am from germany and i could make out most of the words meanings. You just have to use your head a bit.

  6. Craig Pearson says:

    … and I’m back to being Glaswegian! Phew!

    • mentor07825 says:

      Too bad you didn’t flash yourself as a Nac Mac Feegle

    • Llewyn says:

      <supercilious Englishman>Perhaps the first time in history that that’s been a relief to someone.</supercilious Englishman>

      Though with the current weather I think our woolies would have been more useful than Oor Wullie.

    • Kdansky says:

      Crivens! I was about to make that joke!!

    • ColOfNature says:

      My condolences.

  7. Uglycat says:

    When I look at the video, I don’t see any wee free men…

  8. jrod says:

    Strike the earth! Err… Wait, I got confused.

    • RogB says:

      Strike the guards!

      a polished/complete/cutdown DF-a-like can only be a good thing in my book. Its only a matter of time before someone has a go. (though it’ll be much harder to pull off than the countless minecraft clone bandwagon wannabees)

  9. Khemm says:

    Theme Prison?

  10. TLGAthena says:

    Shower block, prison. I presume one of the upgrades is “Extra slippery soap” ?

  11. db1331 says:

    When you first boot up the game, you have to immediately pick a fight with the toughest inmate, or else someone will try to make you their bitch.

  12. Randomer says:

    I’m a bit confused (probably because of the accent). Is it releasing in September, but we can alpha it now (Minecraft style)? Or is it the alpha that’s coming out in September?

  13. Bioluminescence says:

    A translation:

    “Goodness! They say it will be out for everyone some time around September if you’re interested in contributing to the alpha.

    By golly it’s going to be good. A game where you look after a jail. They will even give it to you if you help fund it. In a manner similar to Minecraft, anyone can get the game ahead of time by paying to help the development. They intend to give updates to the game, approximately once a month. It’s certainly going on my wishlist.

    Would you like to see the first trailer again? I thought you might.”

  14. Lev Astov says:

    Ohh! I get it now! Gaol=jail. I’ve been so confused by that in English literature in the past, but now that I’ve seen it in some context I can relate to, I get it!

    Speaking of relating to things, this game has me so intrigued. I’ll definitely be signing up for the alpha in September. That sure is a long way away, though.

  15. MythArcana says:

    I was incredibly excited about Subversion and incredibly disappointed with that announcement…now I’m a bit reluctant to absorb the gist of this game in the aftermath. Is that wrong?

  16. Ridnarhtim says:

    I didn’t understand anything past halfway through the first paragraph. Google translate didn’t help. Shame, really, I’m sure it was a thrilling article.

  17. sysdefect says:

    Oh man, is this the spiritual Theme Hospital sequel I’ve been dreaming of? There was something ideal about that game, that no other tycoon game managed to recapture. I’ve got bloaty head all down there.

    • Torgen says:

      Theme Hospital and X-com Enemy Unknown are the two games my wife actually requests I play on the laptop when we’re settling in for the night. She loves to listen to them, and glance over to see what’s happening, even takes an interest in what’s happening.

  18. Stompywitch says:

    Just tell me where I need to send my money, and it’s there.

  19. wodin says:

    My Dad (Now 67) had an Our Wullie annual. He still has it somewhere I used to read it when I was a kid myself. That and his Eagle annual!

  20. ts061282 says:

    Who’s editing this schlock. Accents are not funny in text. In the mean time, zero information is conveyed.Fail post.

    • Durkonkell says:

      I beg to differ, Sir, Madam or Otherwise.

      1. Accents are actually far funnier in text than in reality. Accents are also much harder to understand in reality!

      2. I understood that it’s out in September if you contribute to the Alpha, that if you do so you’ll get a copy of the finished game plus monthly or whatever builds. The introversion types spoke to PCG. Also, there’s this trailer from before. Which I think is… more information than zero. Yes, I’m sure of it!

      3. Who are you to say ‘fail post’? You who put full stops at the end of questions and fail to put a space between two sentences?

    • Craig Pearson says:

      Aw, thanks. I also read his post as the gendarme from ‘Allo ‘Allo, just to undermine the rage.

    • RogB says:

      because of the ‘good moaning’…. ?


    • ColOfNature says:

      Well done, that man.

  21. Dreamhacker says:

    Glad I’m not the only one who didn’t agree with Introversion canning Subversion.

  22. buzzmong says:

    It’s a shame about Subversion, but this looks really interesting.

    Now they’ve kindly done a video and it seems very much Theme Hospital-esque building of the prison followed by managing it, I’m rather keen.

  23. mixvio says:

    Wait so this is graphical Dwarf Fortress, but in a prison setting?

  24. DrMelon says:


  25. edwardoka says:


    The Oor Wullie site is effortlessly the most godawful website I’ve ever seen.
    Nice reference though. Can’t believe it’s still going after all this time.

    On an only slightly related tangent, did we ever find out where the But’n’Ben was meant to be?