Diablolike, Free – Dungeon King: Dreadstorm

Actually it's a bit darker than Diablo III, so those 'WoW gheyness' moaners might prefer it

Normally we use the made-up term ‘Diablolike’ to mean a game in the vein of hacky-slashy dungeon-crawling, but in this instance I use it to mean ‘a game that really, really wants to look like Diablo III.’ From colour palette to fonts, the look of Dungeon King is to my mind as shameless as a guy wearing one of those ‘dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians’ t-shirt, but I post it because it’s quite the technically-accomplished piece for a browser/Flash game. It looks great, the essential running around and chopping up monsters stuff is fast and fluid, and it’s got its compulsion loops running at maximum efficiency: you won’t want to stop until… well, you won’t want to stop. That’s the point.

It’s free to play up to a certain point, at which point it asks you to fork out $10 to unlock the rest. I’ve not been all the way through yet so can’t attest to whether it’s meaty enough to justify it, but I suspect I’d probably want more than one character type and three skills for that kind of moolah.

Also, it’s up against Flash’s ongoing mad prejudice towards right-mouse buttons, so skill controls are nobbled into mildly awkward alternatives. I could moan about the paucity of loot and shopping too, but, y’know, Flash, technically impressive, a good half-hour of free if derivative fun. Here you go.


  1. Juan Carlo says:

    I don’t get it. Why would a heterosexual man want to be thrown into a pile of lesbians? Does he not know what the word “lesbian” means? Or does he just especially dislike sex with women and thus wants to be thrown into a pile of women who most certainly would have no desire to have sex with him? Moreover, why would he also want to be dipped in chocolate? Is it, perhaps, in hopes that this particular group of lesbians love chocolate so much that they would be willing to eat if off of the body of a complete stranger (embedded body hair and dead skin and all)? I must say that this particular scenario seems very unlikely and the most probable outcome would just be perhaps some stern looks from the lesbians for splattering chocolate all over their clothes, followed by a pretty big dry cleaning bill all around.

    This T Shirt makes no sense to me.

    • Quasar says:

      He’d also have just been dipped into a really quite hot vat of chocolate, which would not only severely burn him all over, but would also dry into a sticky mess that would take a long time to clean off, as well as severely harming his ability to perform basic bodily functions.

    • kikito says:

      You are so full of prejudices!

      Clearly, the t-shirt wearer was born with male genitalia, but feels like a lesbian chocophilic woman inside.

    • westyfield says:

      All the way through the article I was thinking “Diablo blah blah, dipped in WHAT? Thrown to WHOM? But WHY?”

      Please, someone explain this to me.

      @Quasar: Some awful people, when using chocolate fountains, put a bit of oil in the mix so it stays runny at lower temperatures. Such people should be shot.

    • Sarlix says:

      Interesting how you know about that westyfield….I’ve never heard of that.

      And yes, the T-shirt is a puzzler.

    • Ultra Superior says:

      Chocolate is an euphemism for feces.

      Lesbians – in Alec’s sick and distorted mind, “lesbians” are all women who refused to have an intercourse with him, even though he believes all women are secretly eye-stripping him constantly, even through the walls.

      Hence the T-shirt.

    • Daniel Klein says:

      I want a Tshirt with Juan Carlo’s post on it.

    • Daniel Klein says:

      Juan, let’s make it happen: link to dl.dropbox.com

    • Juan Carlo says:

      I’d totally buy that T-Shirt.

    • Jambe says:

      I would buy three hells out of that shirt.

      RPS needs to get merch, and that shirt should be an option.

    • Superabound says:

      dip me in cheeto dust and throw me to the Aspergers

  2. Novotny says:

    Where do I order one of these t-shirts

  3. MikoSquiz says:

    Those are some amazing visuals. It’s a shame they forgot to design a game to go with them.

  4. barleyarley says:

    I’m no scientist, but I believe chocolate has the unique quality of changing a lesbians sexual orientation- it’s lesbo-kryptonite.


  5. bateleur says:

    Whilst Diablo comparisons are hardly surprising, the choice not to have movement controlled with the mouse actually makes this play very differently. In particular, combat involves an awful lot of Kaufman Retrograde (10 geek points if you get the reference).

    What? Oh, right, this is the faux-lesbian t-shirt thread. Sorry, my bad. :-/

  6. Neurotic says:

    What is it with Flash and right-clicking anyway? Getting their effing almost-totally-non-functional right-click command box every time I instinctively right-click a Flash object is incredibly annoying.

    • Salt says:

      It’s finally being mostly fixed with the next version of Flash player (11.2).
      With that update, any game can register to receive right and middle mouse clicks along with left clicks. If such a registration is made the rarely welcome settings menu will never appear. Sadly it’ll continue to pop up on accidental clicks in games that don’t use the new feature.

    • Mctittles says:

      I always figured it was so they could continue to sell their other program to make shockwave programs (director). Shockwave has support for right mouse and joystick and a few other things that they have continued to gimp out of Flash. People continue to make games with Flash so I’m not sure how well that is working.

  7. Urthman says:

    I strongly request that RPS house style reject calling game demos “free to play (up to a certain point, at which point it asks you to fork out $10 to unlock the rest.)”

    By that logic, Mass Effect 3 is FREE!

  8. NathanH says:

    It’s Diablo with circle-strafing. Quite odd. Reasonably fun.

  9. spcd says:

    The correct term is ‘diabloclone’. And diablo is a roguelike, but I have never seen people say diablolike. that doesn’t even sound good :)

    • Juan Carlo says:

      I said Diablolike just the other day in the RPS forums.

      I actually thought I was the first ever person to use it and that I was clever, but I guess RPS has been using it forever.

      How disappointing.

    • Brun says:

      Perhaps “diablike”?

    • Jannissary says:

      People use the word “Diablolike!” It’s kind of in a strange state, though, since most people who use the suffix -like in reference to videogames are used to roguelikes, and know full well that Diablo isn’t really a roguelike, so you’re left with a somewhat inaccurate relationship that serves only to further confuse people.

      Man, I love this hobby.

    • Gabe McGrath says:

      I think the genre should be ‘Diablesques’.

      eg: “I was playing that great Diablesque today”

    • Lemming says:

      I prefer the term ‘Diabolicals’

  10. mckertis says:

    “Here you go.”


  11. xenogrant says:

    Having recently picked up FFXIII-2 and Kingdom of Amalur, this game is harder and more rewarding than both of those games combined. Gets the heart pumping when you have a bunch of money saved up for a big upgrade, and are close to dying and losing a chunk of the money. Good stuff.

  12. Mctittles says:

    Just tried it and am completely surprised it runs on my old Celeron 3ghz. I usually avoid clicking flash games when on this computer because they don’t ever run. Kudos to the dev. As a flash programmer myself I tip my hat.

  13. trjp says:

    I found the urge to press on from the start was mainly due to the fact there’s clearly a telephone ringing in the fortress and if none of these monsters are going to answer it, I’ll kill them ALL!!

    Also – need full screen mode…

  14. Phantoon says:

    Eh. I wasn’t that impressed. The basic gameplay is good, but it doesn’t evoke a Diablo feel of exploration- just corridors.

  15. Etherealsteel says:

    Another one that’s Diablo style game that’s free online, runs in your browser is “Drakensang Online” It’s still in open beta, but it feels mostly a complete game except for lacking one extra character.

  16. caesarbear says:

    Tedious, tedious, tedious, tedious. Poor recommendation of a free game.

  17. Nate says:

    Anybody who enjoys games like this (ie, mildly diverting, free) should play Triglav if they haven’t already. It’s awfully old, but it’s good. Just do a google search and bring your flash.

  18. kzrkp says:

    Shovelware flash game. How did this end up with its own article? D:

  19. Matt says:

    Shameless and awful.

  20. Yammo says:

    To those who really don’t understand the T-Shirt:

    Chocolate contains phenylethylamine…
    …which is a natural afrodesiac.

    The sweetness triggers a release of dopamine…
    …which you also get from sex, gambling, etc.

    To those who are acting ignorant because they think the statement is shameless, sexist
    and just bad humor… Lighten up, or get off the internetz before you blow a vein. :)

  21. Parrk says:

    I read it as “Diablolicte”‘

    Apparently Hansel was overlooked as the character model for this game where the final boss is no other than the Malaysian Prime Minister.

    The files are IN the computer!

  22. Capernatious says:

    I found it an okay game up until the point where I had finally saved up enough money to buy a new axe… when I was greeted with the ‘New Items in Shop’ message. Lo and behold, the axe I was saving up for had been replaced by a higher level axe, costing twice as much. Don’t play this game unless you want to do constant circlestrafing and saving up to buy nothing.