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Build Titans For Drunken Robot Pornography

Space spiders are the worst of all the spiders

I’ll bet there’s a fair few of you who now think I have aphasia. I do not, although sometimes when I read back what I’ve written here I realise it would be a good excuse. Nope, Drunken Robot Pornography is merely an experimental game from those mother troublers at Dejobaan Games. Which would make Titans… let me check, ah yes: bosses for what appears to be a first-person shooter that I totally missed that they were making. It’s looking typically untypical: a strobing, orbital battle against giant destructible bosses, using weapons with stackable power-ups. The final part of the puzzle, the building of these giant, gentle creatures, is something you can play around with: Dejobaan have released an editor online to let you build and destroy your own Titan. The best will win a prize. I have video of how to do it below.

This is the tool in question, and this is the tool in action.

The best Titan, as judged by the tingly feeling Dejobaan get upon looking at it, will win a complete pack of their games on Steam. Not bad for putting some cubes next to a sphere and calling it “The Glorgariser”.

And now some general game footage, to demonstrate a Titan in action.

I’m going to let Dejobaan introduce the next part, because their words are fiiiiiine.

In the next video, Elliot faces off with the Master Control Program Titan. Each time it loses 25% of health, it shoots off a metric ton of missiles. It’s protected by impenetrable rotating shields, a quartet of laser dishes, and a regenerating, spinning cube wall. In short, it is the new standard for safety in our public schools.

Well, I think that about wraps it up for games. Just down tools and let Dejobaan polish this, there’s nowhere else to go.

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Who am I?

Craig Pearson


I love square sausage, cats, and climbing pretend rocks.

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